State of Denial 3/3
1 week.
That was how long it passed since Watanuki last talked to Doumeki. He would sometimes see him across the hall but the tall boy would purposely avoid him. Apparently he had gotten around to asking a few people about his relationship with Watanuki and they all gave him negative feedbacks.
Watanuki walked dejectedly out of the school after the last bell rang.
He went to work as usual, making himself useful around Yuuko’s shop and said nothing.
Yuuko looked at her helper from the corner of her eyes and sighed.
“Watanuki…”
“Yes Yuuko-san?” he stopped his dusting and turned to face her.
“You’re tired. Sleep here tonight.”
“Hm? But I still-“
“It’s okay. Just go to sleep now,” she gestured towards the door.
“Hai…” Watanuki walked out of the room and padded his way to the guestroom that he always occupied whenever he sleeps over.
He felt so dejected.
He felt as if he had lost the will to live.
He crawled into the warm futon and took deep breaths.
“Doumeki…” he bit his lips and cried himself to sleep.
--
Watanuki realized he was crying.
His hands were touching something. It was smooth but firm. Slowly he opened his eyes. His head was cradled by something, someone. His hands were placed on someone’s chest.
Slowly he angled his head so he could see the person’s face.
“Doumeki?” he gasped.
“Watanuki…”
Watanuki automatically wrapped his arms around Doumeki.
“Doumeki! You remembered me?”
Doumeki shook his head slowly. “Not yet… give me more time… I will remember…”
Watanuki shook his head and hugged Doumeki tighter. “I can’t stand this anymore… You don’t talk to me in school… you avoid me… it hurts…”
Doumeki pushed Watanuki away from himself gently and tilted Watanuki so he looked into his golden eyes. “I’m trying to remember… I’m sorry if it hurts you…” Doumeki leans down and kissed Watanuki’s forehead.
“Please wait for me…”
--
Watanuki jerked awake.
He looked around, his sleep derived eyes blinked and almost looked as if it was searching.
Tears start welling up his eyes and he bit his lips to stop it.
“He told you to be patient didn’t he?”
Watanuki swerved around and spotted Yuuko by the door, smoking her pipe. He looked down on the futon and sighed. Then he nodded once.
“Do as he says then,” she then walked away.
Watanuki wiped off his tears and slumped back into the futon drifting back to sleep.
--
Doumeki sat on the rooftop of his school after practice that Friday evening.
10 days had passed, since he last talked to Watanuki. And since then he had been avoiding him. Why? Because he was confused.
After eating those Watanuki made Ohagi’s sometime last week he had started to have visions. Over the week he had seen a lot of people which he somehow felt familiar but have no recollection of who they were.
The woman from before…
There was someone who controls the rain, The Rain Sprite…
One who really likes Watanuki, a Vestal Sprite…
Fox spirits…
Some twins…
Ghosts…
Lots of other supernatural things…
Lots of Himawari…
And not forgetting
… lots of himself.
Himself being in the worst side of Watanuki, him being called various names, him being the receiving end of Watanuki’s anger.
It all just doesn’t make sense.
His question is, why would someone as popular as Watanuki, want to be acquainted with himself, who Watanuki hates so much?
And somehow, every time he sees the visions where Watanuki was being nice to the girls he feels this weird pang in his chest.
Doumeki’s eyes widened.
Was this…
Was this another plot of Watanuki’s? To make him fall for him all over again before crushing him and throwing away his feelings like un-recyclable garbage? To raise him so high just to throw him back down so he would hit the ground harder this time?
The young boy sighed and got up. Wutever it is, he has the weekend to figure it out. He wouldn’t have to deal with Watanuki till Monday anyways.
--
“Good morning.”
Doumeki stopped his sweeping for 2 seconds before replying a short “’hayo” and continued his sweeping without turning around.
Watanuki stepped closer. It was a Sunday morning and he had made some wagashi(14) as an offering to the temple and its occupants.
“I came to give the temple some offerings,” Watanuki explained.
“The priest in charge is somewhere in the temple, you should have no problem looking for him,” Doumeki told the boy without even looking at him.
“Aa,” Watanuki nodded and went about his business.
15 minutes later Doumeki’s shoulder was tapped.
The boy needn’t turn around to see who it was.
“I made one especially for you,” Watanuki took Doumeki’s hand and placed the single wagashi in it.
As soon as the wagashi was in his hand Doumeki had another vision.
It was one of the valentines and Watanuki had made chocolates. Doumeki had eaten some of them, earning himself a hell of a cursing and Watanuki choking his throat shaking him like a rag doll. Screaming something about those chocolates were for his female admirers and Doumeki should rot in hell for eating them.
Those profanities still rang in his ears.
He blinked his eyes and pushed back the Wagashi into Watanuki’s hands.
“You… don’t want it?” Watanuki asked.
Doumeki turned around. “Just… give it to your… your female admirers. I… don’t want to rot in hell,” somehow his eyes were threatening to glass over. It hurts too much. What is this nasty feeling?
Watanuki blinked. Those words… where did he hear them before?
Before he could place a finger on the scenario, Doumeki had left the broom against a tree and hurried into his house.
Doumeki ran into his room and slid the door shut. He ran across to the other side, slid down to the floor and frowned. He bit his knuckles again. This pain, what does it mean?
“DOUMEKI!” Watanuki’s voice brought Doumeki out of his stupor.
The boy knew his way around Doumeki’s temple. And currently on this fine Sunday morning the occupants of Doumeki’s main house are not in this area so he could maneuver himself around the place and head straight for Doumeki’s room. Which he suspected was where the boy ran off to.
He pushed the door open and found the other boy, equally staring back at him.
“You remembered, don’t you?” Watanuki asked, taking one step at a time towards Doumeki.
“You remembered who am I don’t you?” Watanuki asked. He stopped, currently 3 feet away from the boy on the floor.
Doumeki looked away.
“So what if I do?” he replied.
“Because I’m waiting…” Watanuki answered, his voice was soft.
Doumeki let out an ironic laugh.
“You… are waiting? For what?” he inquired the boy with the dazzling blue eyes.
“For you…” Watanuki smiled.
Doumeki blinked, he hardened his face, tried to seal his emotions and blinked twice.
“What in the hell for? You just want me to remember all those feelings and add more to it so you can let me fall again and break me more than you have? Is that how it is? Why else would you do all this when you so obviously hate me? And why can’t you just leave me alone? You have all those girls around you, be it human or not! Why are you still toying with me?! Why did you make me remember!?” both of Doumeki’s hands were gripping his hair so tight that it is threatening to rip off his scalp.
Doumeki’s eyes were of pure anger, those anger tinted cheeks made him look all the more vicious. But to Watanuki he looked like a desperate child looking for a lost favourite toy.
Watanuki cried too.
He crawled closer to Doumeki and sat facing him. He reached out a hand to touch the other boy’s knee. “I was scared…” he started. “Everyone I loved went away… they all left me alone… so I thought… if I never acknowledged the love between us, you would stay… forever… but I was also frustrated at the same time… to fall for you but unable to do anything… its suffocating… so I threw it out at you… but when you started to forget about me altogether… I panicked…”
There was a heavy silence for a long while.
“You’re just being a selfish brat,” Doumeki uttered softly.
“I’m sorry…”
Doumeki stared at his tatami floor. Watanuki lost his parents when he was very young. All this while all the things important to him was harshly taken away from him; love, parents, compassion, bonds, relations, connections… all these years he had struggled by himself to stay alive… he tried his best to help everyone, be on everyone’s good side… and after all that hard work… he did deserve to be a little selfish.
Doumeki raised his head from between his knees. Watanuki was crying, he was looking at him and crying. This hurt Doumeki more than anything. “Don’t cry,” he uttered and scooted closer to Watanuki.
Poor Watanuki, all alone…
All alone…
He pulled the boy towards himself and they fall back together towards the wall. Doumeki cradled Watanuki’s head and ran his hands thru the boy’s hair.
“Doumeki… I-“
“Shhh…” Doumeki hushed the other boy and kept running his hands thru those silky black strands.
Watanuki blinked and gingerly wrapped his hand around Doumeki’s middle… His ear listening to the beat of Doumeki’s heart.
‘Doki…doki…doki…”
To the sound of the heartbeat, he grew weary and fell asleep.
Both in each other’s arms…
For a long time…
Just the two of them…
--
Yuuko took a sip of her umeshuu and grinned.
“Why are you so happy, mistress?” chanted Maru.
“Why is mistress so happy~?” chanted Moro.
Yuko turned to her two girls and grinned wider.
“I smell love in the air…”
-OWARI-
:/ im not happy with this… not at all… I started this like AGES ago!! Back when Doumeki saved Watanuki’s ass from that weird lady ghost. But I kept getting distracted and it was getting tedious and long and I just HAD to finish it… but I got lost halfway. Until I dreamt about a crying Watanuki… shesh… scary… so yeah then I buckled up and finished it little by litte… still not happy… but sheesh.. at least its done. XD