A Decade in Review
2000: It started with my first girlfriend breaking up with me after new years. it really was for the best and i'm glad i got to enjoy some of my freshman year without a girlfriend. then a few months later, my frenemy told me she wanted to rock my jock and after putting in some effort, she did so (and was the first to do so). she eventually cheated on me with her mr. burns ex (who she broke up with to date me) and lied to me about it until her DAD had to tell me.
in response i fucked a gypsy lesbian in a hotel. it worked out pretty well, all told.
i returned to school, got a house with two of my friends, and changed my major (compsci to fiction writing).
2001: amy and i dated for most of this year before breaking up because she wasnt dealing with some of her own shit. i saw a bunch of concerts and threw a bunch of parties, and yet i have little to say about this year. and the only really good story i have is my roommate dated a crazy chick who ended up trying to kidnap him (sort of) and led to him breaking his ankle on halloween. god i hated her.
2002: at this point, i started dating the chick that amy was REALLY worried about me spending time with while we were dating (nothing happened, but obviously both of us wanted something to). that went REALLY well until she left for college, which was rough, but what are you going to do?
I turned 21, made out with 9 people on my birthday, had my girlfriend make out with me and one of my exes and me and my boss (female) and invite the boss to bed with us. i blacked out and apparently got head from a lesbian and then put it in my gfs wrong hole (which apparently was fine).
that was a hell of a birthday.
2003: started going to bars quite a bit, didn't date any body til the end but was definitely taken home a few times.
then i started dating mer, which i think was just an attempt to have some stability while i finished up college. also, she nearly initiated a threesome with me and one of my coworkers. that would have been...interesting....
2004: Mer and i moved to chicago, she flipped her shit like it was a pancake. she blew her college loan on blow, told all of our friends that we were broken up and slept with a few of them, didn't pay for shit, didn't clean shit, and threatened to kill me. though that last part didn't happen until the beginning of-
2005: mer moved back to arizona, got engaged, got addicted to heroin, and dropped off the face of the earth. i started up at columbia getting my master's. things went pretty well except for that threat against my life. fell back in love with one of my exes, tried to make the LD worked, failed. started working for the hotel, cause i love graveyard shifts.
2006: did anything interesting happen in 2006? i don't remember anything special going on. i imagine i wrote things, worked hours, and tried to get laid. does this make it different from other years? yes. because it was butt-ass cold.
2007: finished up school, other than my thesis, dated the model, and started working at local launch. all told, things were pretty good, except that the model wanted me to punch her in the face during sex. and then called me a faggot when i told her that punching her would kill my erection.
somehow we kept dating.
2008: started sort of seeing a coworker. by seeing, i mean we would make out in the elevator and in the lobby of the building and making plans that she would inevitably break. she had a good reason fro breaking plans: she was engaged. and i was the other dude. i wonder how long it would have gone on if her fiance hadn't found the texts we were sending each other. which were more than friendly. i think springreleased1 was more upset than i was. i was just baffled. i mean, who would have thought that i would have been the "other man."
2009: lost my job, springreleased1 figured out that we were awesome for each other, she moved up here, i found a job, springreleased1 and i continue to be fucking awesome, best year of the decade.
in response i fucked a gypsy lesbian in a hotel. it worked out pretty well, all told.
i returned to school, got a house with two of my friends, and changed my major (compsci to fiction writing).
2001: amy and i dated for most of this year before breaking up because she wasnt dealing with some of her own shit. i saw a bunch of concerts and threw a bunch of parties, and yet i have little to say about this year. and the only really good story i have is my roommate dated a crazy chick who ended up trying to kidnap him (sort of) and led to him breaking his ankle on halloween. god i hated her.
2002: at this point, i started dating the chick that amy was REALLY worried about me spending time with while we were dating (nothing happened, but obviously both of us wanted something to). that went REALLY well until she left for college, which was rough, but what are you going to do?
I turned 21, made out with 9 people on my birthday, had my girlfriend make out with me and one of my exes and me and my boss (female) and invite the boss to bed with us. i blacked out and apparently got head from a lesbian and then put it in my gfs wrong hole (which apparently was fine).
that was a hell of a birthday.
2003: started going to bars quite a bit, didn't date any body til the end but was definitely taken home a few times.
then i started dating mer, which i think was just an attempt to have some stability while i finished up college. also, she nearly initiated a threesome with me and one of my coworkers. that would have been...interesting....
2004: Mer and i moved to chicago, she flipped her shit like it was a pancake. she blew her college loan on blow, told all of our friends that we were broken up and slept with a few of them, didn't pay for shit, didn't clean shit, and threatened to kill me. though that last part didn't happen until the beginning of-
2005: mer moved back to arizona, got engaged, got addicted to heroin, and dropped off the face of the earth. i started up at columbia getting my master's. things went pretty well except for that threat against my life. fell back in love with one of my exes, tried to make the LD worked, failed. started working for the hotel, cause i love graveyard shifts.
2006: did anything interesting happen in 2006? i don't remember anything special going on. i imagine i wrote things, worked hours, and tried to get laid. does this make it different from other years? yes. because it was butt-ass cold.
2007: finished up school, other than my thesis, dated the model, and started working at local launch. all told, things were pretty good, except that the model wanted me to punch her in the face during sex. and then called me a faggot when i told her that punching her would kill my erection.
somehow we kept dating.
2008: started sort of seeing a coworker. by seeing, i mean we would make out in the elevator and in the lobby of the building and making plans that she would inevitably break. she had a good reason fro breaking plans: she was engaged. and i was the other dude. i wonder how long it would have gone on if her fiance hadn't found the texts we were sending each other. which were more than friendly. i think springreleased1 was more upset than i was. i was just baffled. i mean, who would have thought that i would have been the "other man."
2009: lost my job, springreleased1 figured out that we were awesome for each other, she moved up here, i found a job, springreleased1 and i continue to be fucking awesome, best year of the decade.