We are the worst at being murder hobos (D&D)
Apparently every time the pregen adventure says "your players can do X or Y," we choose option C. Or something like that.
We're on a quest in the Faewild (weirdass land of magic and enchantment, for all those of you who don't know D&D) that's basically central to my character, Alisane Telemnar, rogue Eladrin of the Winter Court, who didn't like the ruler of the place she grew up and ran off and has stumbled onto the stuff that can make her homeland better - magically less heartless. Because that's how the Faewild rolls.
BUT OH, Baba Yaga has what we need, and the knowledge of how to get it done, and in lieu of letting Baba Yaga control it, well, we're bargaining with her to take it all. My magical artifact is sentient and does not want to be trapped with her.
Baby Yaga has two adopted daughters, Natasha and Elena. Natasha is isn't quite real, but created by Elena after the first Natasha left and Elena, who's a homebody, didn't want to feel lonely. Baba Yaga asked us to heal the rift between the two sisters, she didn't care how, and Natasha just wants to leave, but is magically bound to Elena and wouldn't be if Elena is dead.
We may need to invent therapy in the D&D world. It would be nice if we had our psion with us.
Like, seriously. I just multiclassed from rogue to witch, how am I supposed to do this? My one witch power is visions, and my character is too, too soft-hearted to go killing either of the sisters. Because they're not evil, they're just bugfuck nuts. You would be too if your mother was Baba Yaga.
Also, no one is stupid enough to think they can kill Baba Yaga.
Now we're trying to put the soul of Natasha, an artificially created witch into the body of a magic cat robot (technically, in D&D, they're called automaton and they're powered by magic, not science!) so she can be free of Elena, the sister who created her and bound her to never leave so that she wouldn't be lonely. Otherwise we'd have to kill Elena.
Or we could just go kill Elena, but no, we've chosen to stay for weeks on end and learn how to do this because then we don't have to murder hobo on anyone. Plus I think our two wizards will be happy with the arcane knowledge gained.
But really, I think we need to also find a way to cure Elena of being so perishingly lonely. We need to convince her she can leave and come back if she wants. Or just leave. By herself. UUUGH, I may be a charisma-secondary rogue, but most of my skill training is in skills that let me stab people or move around people to stab them repeatedly. Or lie to them. Or pick their pockets and track them on streets in the city. Because we have so many adventures in cities.
But basically we are the worst at being murder hobos. Every time we have a chance to kill anyone, if they're not being clearly evil, we ...don't take it. Also if they surrender, we're going to let them. Though if they attack us while surrendered, we do kill them. That is just not on for prisoner behavior. This entry has been cross-posted to Dreamwidth (
comments). Comments are welcome on either post.
We're on a quest in the Faewild (weirdass land of magic and enchantment, for all those of you who don't know D&D) that's basically central to my character, Alisane Telemnar, rogue Eladrin of the Winter Court, who didn't like the ruler of the place she grew up and ran off and has stumbled onto the stuff that can make her homeland better - magically less heartless. Because that's how the Faewild rolls.
BUT OH, Baba Yaga has what we need, and the knowledge of how to get it done, and in lieu of letting Baba Yaga control it, well, we're bargaining with her to take it all. My magical artifact is sentient and does not want to be trapped with her.
Baby Yaga has two adopted daughters, Natasha and Elena. Natasha is isn't quite real, but created by Elena after the first Natasha left and Elena, who's a homebody, didn't want to feel lonely. Baba Yaga asked us to heal the rift between the two sisters, she didn't care how, and Natasha just wants to leave, but is magically bound to Elena and wouldn't be if Elena is dead.
We may need to invent therapy in the D&D world. It would be nice if we had our psion with us.
Like, seriously. I just multiclassed from rogue to witch, how am I supposed to do this? My one witch power is visions, and my character is too, too soft-hearted to go killing either of the sisters. Because they're not evil, they're just bugfuck nuts. You would be too if your mother was Baba Yaga.
Also, no one is stupid enough to think they can kill Baba Yaga.
Now we're trying to put the soul of Natasha, an artificially created witch into the body of a magic cat robot (technically, in D&D, they're called automaton and they're powered by magic, not science!) so she can be free of Elena, the sister who created her and bound her to never leave so that she wouldn't be lonely. Otherwise we'd have to kill Elena.
Or we could just go kill Elena, but no, we've chosen to stay for weeks on end and learn how to do this because then we don't have to murder hobo on anyone. Plus I think our two wizards will be happy with the arcane knowledge gained.
But really, I think we need to also find a way to cure Elena of being so perishingly lonely. We need to convince her she can leave and come back if she wants. Or just leave. By herself. UUUGH, I may be a charisma-secondary rogue, but most of my skill training is in skills that let me stab people or move around people to stab them repeatedly. Or lie to them. Or pick their pockets and track them on streets in the city. Because we have so many adventures in cities.
But basically we are the worst at being murder hobos. Every time we have a chance to kill anyone, if they're not being clearly evil, we ...don't take it. Also if they surrender, we're going to let them. Though if they attack us while surrendered, we do kill them. That is just not on for prisoner behavior. This entry has been cross-posted to Dreamwidth (
comments). Comments are welcome on either post.