Just Another Day (Laura Cadman/Teyla Emmagan) [PG]
Title: Just Another Day
Author: havocthecat
Rating: PG
Pairing: Laura Cadman/Teyla Emmagan, references to several of Sheppard's previous flings
Characters: Laura Cadman, Miko Kusanagi, Rodney McKay, & Radek Zelenka
Warnings: Humor
Summary: It was just another day in Pegasus when Laura tripped over Ancient technology and activated it.
Author's Notes: This started out as serious fic (Laura gets the ability to see ghosts), and rapidly turned into anything but (Laura doesn't get the ability to see ghosts, but does get her snark on with McKay). There's absolutely no redeeming value to this story whatsoever. I think I started it for a fic battle and then abandoned it partway through. I know there's femslash, but it's only referenced, so if that's not your thing, you're probably good.
***
It was just another day in Pegasus when Laura tripped over Ancient technology and activated it.
***
No, really. Just another day. Dr. Zelenka had computed both the odds against expedition members randomly tripping over Ancient technology and activating it, as well as the odds of said Ancient tech being genuinely useful.
The results, which were completely unsurprising to anyone who'd been with the expedition more than a month, indicated that it happened a lot more than it should.
Colonel Sheppard had laid a bet on Chaya being to blame. McKay thought it was Teer. "There has to be an Ascended detector around here that'll let us know when one of Sheppard's exes is around," he'd grumbled. "It'll save Carson from having to treat more sprained ankles and broken noses."
"Good luck with that one," Colonel Sheppard had said, and promptly tripped over something that had, in fact, turned out to have the ability to detect Ascended beings. Unfortunately, it was broken.
Dr. Weir had sworn she could hear Janus laughing at them from the Ascended plane.
***
"Ow!" yelled Laura, from where she was sprawled on the floor. She glared at McKay, who was laughing at her.
"Sprained ankle this time?" he asked, and Laura just knew he was hoping she'd broken her nose.
"No," muttered Laura, pushing herself upright.
"Nose, then?" asked McKay, brightening.
"Tailbone," grumbled Laura. She rubbed the small of her back and glared at the offending piece of technology, which promptly stopped glowing. It looked like one of those funky grenade things from Return of the Jedi, and Laura hoped it wasn't one of those. What were they called? Thermal detonators, right. She hoped it wasn't one of those.
Though, Laura had to admit, Ancient explosives would be awesome.
"You broke it!" exclaimed McKay. "Did you miss my memo on not thinking bad thoughts at the Ancient tech, Lieutenant?"
"If you sent a memo about thinking happy thoughts," said Laura, bending down gingerly and picking up the hopefully-not-a-bomb, "I probably shredded it. I don't think they pay Marines to think happy thoughts."
Rodney shuffled cautiously closer to her and peered at the probably-not-a-bomb. "What do you think it does?"
The machine burbled happily, lit up with a kaleidoscope effect that hit Laura right in the face, and promptly shut off again as she yelped.
"Beats me." Laura shrugged and tried telling maybe-a-bomb-maybe-not to stay off already, damn it. "Wanna take it to the lab? Miko's on unknown tech death watch today. She'll get a kick out of it."
"No, I think I'd rather--"
Rodney reached for the even-if-it's-not-a-bomb-it's-dangerous, and Laura jerked it away from him. "Who do you think you're kidding?" she asked. "Colonel Sheppard says it's worth our commissions if we let you get your hands on Ancient technology again. Remember how you turned us purple for a week?"
***
Yes, purple.
No, no one had enjoyed it.
Yes, certainly Earth had a lot of fun at their expense. Laura was pretty sure that Dr. Lam had asked for biographic data - including full body scan pictures - for something less than purely scientific motives.
On the plus side, Teyla had tasted like grape bubble gum the entire week. When it stopped, Laura had been sad. She loved grape bubble gum. Though, every once in a while, Teyla would start tasting like grape bubble gum again. Laura sometimes wondered what the hell the Ancients had been on.
Laura had accidentally let that bit of trivia slip out when she and Miko were a little drunk at a party on the mainland. All the women had laughed a whole lot when the guys did spit-takes.
Dr. Weir had been sober enough to remember to send out a memo the next morning reminding the entire expedition that anyone who had issues with the Atlantis expedition's tolerance policy and its conflicts with the American military's policy of Don't Ask, Don't Tell was expressly invited to bring them to her personally.
According to Chuck, at least two of the newbie Marines who had the gene and had been spotted going into Weir's office were assigned to work with the scientists doing Ancient technology testing for the next two weeks, and the assignments had gotten more embarrassing from there on out.
They'd requested transfers back to Earth as soon as was humanly possible. Laura heard Colonel Sheppard had denied them and sent them off to 'liaise' with the Athosians in a 'culturally acceptable manner.'
Laura was pretty sure that meant they'd been stuck plowing Athosian farmland for the last two months.
***
"What? This isn't going to turn either of us purple, Cadman," snapped McKay
"Then what is it going to do?" asked Laura. When McKay sputtered, she grinned smugly at him. "We're taking it to Miko. You know she loves shit like this."
Miko really did. She smiled when Laura brought in the it-hasn't-blown-us-up-yet and set it gently down on her work table, swatting McKay's hands away when he reached for her scanner.
"This is a lovely piece of engineering," she said, giving Laura an eager smile. "I am glad you are the one who stumbled over it. Do you feel well, or should we call Dr. Keller?"
Dr. Zelenka ambled over. "Sprained ankle, Lieutenant?" he asked, frowning slightly.
Laura rubbed the small of her back. "Tailbone," she said, glaring at Rodney as he snickered. "I'm fine, though."
***
When she got back to her quarters that night, Teyla had declared that Laura tasted like cotton candy. Simpson had made a cotton candy machine a while back, and everyone except the expedition's one diabetic had spent a week straight on a sugar high, so it wasn't like Teyla didn't know what cotton candy tasted like.
But she and Teyla managed to do some experimentation. Just to be sure.
--end--
Author: havocthecat
Rating: PG
Pairing: Laura Cadman/Teyla Emmagan, references to several of Sheppard's previous flings
Characters: Laura Cadman, Miko Kusanagi, Rodney McKay, & Radek Zelenka
Warnings: Humor
Summary: It was just another day in Pegasus when Laura tripped over Ancient technology and activated it.
Author's Notes: This started out as serious fic (Laura gets the ability to see ghosts), and rapidly turned into anything but (Laura doesn't get the ability to see ghosts, but does get her snark on with McKay). There's absolutely no redeeming value to this story whatsoever. I think I started it for a fic battle and then abandoned it partway through. I know there's femslash, but it's only referenced, so if that's not your thing, you're probably good.
***
It was just another day in Pegasus when Laura tripped over Ancient technology and activated it.
***
No, really. Just another day. Dr. Zelenka had computed both the odds against expedition members randomly tripping over Ancient technology and activating it, as well as the odds of said Ancient tech being genuinely useful.
The results, which were completely unsurprising to anyone who'd been with the expedition more than a month, indicated that it happened a lot more than it should.
Colonel Sheppard had laid a bet on Chaya being to blame. McKay thought it was Teer. "There has to be an Ascended detector around here that'll let us know when one of Sheppard's exes is around," he'd grumbled. "It'll save Carson from having to treat more sprained ankles and broken noses."
"Good luck with that one," Colonel Sheppard had said, and promptly tripped over something that had, in fact, turned out to have the ability to detect Ascended beings. Unfortunately, it was broken.
Dr. Weir had sworn she could hear Janus laughing at them from the Ascended plane.
***
"Ow!" yelled Laura, from where she was sprawled on the floor. She glared at McKay, who was laughing at her.
"Sprained ankle this time?" he asked, and Laura just knew he was hoping she'd broken her nose.
"No," muttered Laura, pushing herself upright.
"Nose, then?" asked McKay, brightening.
"Tailbone," grumbled Laura. She rubbed the small of her back and glared at the offending piece of technology, which promptly stopped glowing. It looked like one of those funky grenade things from Return of the Jedi, and Laura hoped it wasn't one of those. What were they called? Thermal detonators, right. She hoped it wasn't one of those.
Though, Laura had to admit, Ancient explosives would be awesome.
"You broke it!" exclaimed McKay. "Did you miss my memo on not thinking bad thoughts at the Ancient tech, Lieutenant?"
"If you sent a memo about thinking happy thoughts," said Laura, bending down gingerly and picking up the hopefully-not-a-bomb, "I probably shredded it. I don't think they pay Marines to think happy thoughts."
Rodney shuffled cautiously closer to her and peered at the probably-not-a-bomb. "What do you think it does?"
The machine burbled happily, lit up with a kaleidoscope effect that hit Laura right in the face, and promptly shut off again as she yelped.
"Beats me." Laura shrugged and tried telling maybe-a-bomb-maybe-not to stay off already, damn it. "Wanna take it to the lab? Miko's on unknown tech death watch today. She'll get a kick out of it."
"No, I think I'd rather--"
Rodney reached for the even-if-it's-not-a-bomb-it's-dangerous, and Laura jerked it away from him. "Who do you think you're kidding?" she asked. "Colonel Sheppard says it's worth our commissions if we let you get your hands on Ancient technology again. Remember how you turned us purple for a week?"
***
Yes, purple.
No, no one had enjoyed it.
Yes, certainly Earth had a lot of fun at their expense. Laura was pretty sure that Dr. Lam had asked for biographic data - including full body scan pictures - for something less than purely scientific motives.
On the plus side, Teyla had tasted like grape bubble gum the entire week. When it stopped, Laura had been sad. She loved grape bubble gum. Though, every once in a while, Teyla would start tasting like grape bubble gum again. Laura sometimes wondered what the hell the Ancients had been on.
Laura had accidentally let that bit of trivia slip out when she and Miko were a little drunk at a party on the mainland. All the women had laughed a whole lot when the guys did spit-takes.
Dr. Weir had been sober enough to remember to send out a memo the next morning reminding the entire expedition that anyone who had issues with the Atlantis expedition's tolerance policy and its conflicts with the American military's policy of Don't Ask, Don't Tell was expressly invited to bring them to her personally.
According to Chuck, at least two of the newbie Marines who had the gene and had been spotted going into Weir's office were assigned to work with the scientists doing Ancient technology testing for the next two weeks, and the assignments had gotten more embarrassing from there on out.
They'd requested transfers back to Earth as soon as was humanly possible. Laura heard Colonel Sheppard had denied them and sent them off to 'liaise' with the Athosians in a 'culturally acceptable manner.'
Laura was pretty sure that meant they'd been stuck plowing Athosian farmland for the last two months.
***
"What? This isn't going to turn either of us purple, Cadman," snapped McKay
"Then what is it going to do?" asked Laura. When McKay sputtered, she grinned smugly at him. "We're taking it to Miko. You know she loves shit like this."
Miko really did. She smiled when Laura brought in the it-hasn't-blown-us-up-yet and set it gently down on her work table, swatting McKay's hands away when he reached for her scanner.
"This is a lovely piece of engineering," she said, giving Laura an eager smile. "I am glad you are the one who stumbled over it. Do you feel well, or should we call Dr. Keller?"
Dr. Zelenka ambled over. "Sprained ankle, Lieutenant?" he asked, frowning slightly.
Laura rubbed the small of her back. "Tailbone," she said, glaring at Rodney as he snickered. "I'm fine, though."
***
When she got back to her quarters that night, Teyla had declared that Laura tasted like cotton candy. Simpson had made a cotton candy machine a while back, and everyone except the expedition's one diabetic had spent a week straight on a sugar high, so it wasn't like Teyla didn't know what cotton candy tasted like.
But she and Teyla managed to do some experimentation. Just to be sure.
--end--