I got broked up with!!!
Hi Livejournal. I am here to document the end of my relationship-type-situation with a boy Ive been seeing for less than a month.
It started with shameless flirtation at work, which led to us forming a bond of sorts. If our relationship was a status on facebook, it'd be "Complicated". He wanted to hit it. I wanted to let him. Basically. So we started "talking". He introduced me to several of his friends. They all seemed to like me. Thought I was a decent person. Someone good for the boy. Shortly after, he proclaimed to all the world that I was his "Main Bitch*." A charming label, but from him, it was sweet and sincere. And from then onward, I was referred to as, "Ol Girl." A term I wasn't quite familiar with in the beginning, and to tell you the truth, I didnt know what it meant until just now. Urban Dictionary defines it as, "A woman that you are sexually acquainted with. It can be a girlfriend, fuck buddy, or just a girl you fool around with. The term is usually expessed when someone doesn't want to disclose the name of the girl they are with." That was me. And that's kind of embarrassing if you think about it. Everyone else knew what it meant but me... and he referred to me as "ol girl" in public. We are a classy pair.
So, being the classy lady that I am, I slept with him on the first date. Actually there was no sleeping, just awkward positioning in the front seat of my car. But prior to the sexing, we made out and I gave him a hand job at the theater. He invited my hand in his pants!! What was I gonna do!? Not give him something I wanted to give him anyway? Afterward, we had secks. Not in the theater!!! In my car... because we had no place else to do it... And it was hot! Full of hair pulling and vigorous thrustings. Apparently I like it rough.
And for weeks after, things were great. We were getting closer and closer. He was introducing me to more of his friends and acquaintances. Our nightly conversations became more frequent and deeply personal. Our status was changing just a bit. At least I thought so. He was taking me on dates, wanting to spend all his time with me. We did almost everything together and saw each other everyday, but we didnt have sex again.
I suspect this, among other things, was the crux of our thing-type-thing. He really wanted me. I really wanted him. But we both live with our parents..... that and the fact that he was in the process of divorcing his wife of 8 years with whom he had 2 adorable bbs! It wasnt an ideal time for him to be starting a relationship.
I always knew it wouldnt last long because he's not over his wife and they aren't legally divorced yet, but shit son! We talked every single day AND night since we've been a thing-type-thing. Multiple times a day and night. We would talk for hours. Until 5 am most mornings. We'd fall asleep listening to the other person's voice... not at the same time obviously. Some nights I'd pass out listening to him and vice versa. Then all of a sudden he cuts me off. No contact! This boy refused to return my calls and texts. This could either mean.... several things actually.
1. Jail. He's ghetto as fuck and could realistically be in jail right now! He has anger management issues.
2. Sick. Last time I spoke to him, (Tuesday, Octobe 12 *yeah Ive been counting*) he wasnt feeling well. And was worried about his wife finding out about us! *which I'm sure is why he's being all no contact with me, but he still owes me a fucking explanation!*
3. He's dead. Not likely at all actually. I would have heard about it from everyone!
4. This should probably be number 1, He's just not that into me. :( The saddest reason of all.... if you don't count number 3...
5. He thought I was into him more than he was into me and didnt want to hurt me. Doubtful. He's hurting me by letting me obsess over why he wont talk to me anymore.
6. He realized that we were moving past just being fuck buddies and into an area he was uncomfortable with because of his recent break up. I was becoming more than just a "main bitch" or "ol girl."
7. Actually THIS should be #1. His wife! They're getting back together MAYBE!
Those are the only reasons I can come up with for why he refused to make contact with me.
I talked to him Tuesday afternoon. He called ME to see what I was doing. He told me he was bored and sitting outside work not wanting to go in. I decided to go up there and hang out. We drove around for an hour and then I dropped him off at work. He was really uncomfortable with me dropping him off. Picking him up too. He was convinced people saw. That's all he could focus on. People saw us together! I told him not to worry. No one is paying attention to us. But he was convinced that his ex was going to drive by and see us together. Maybe that's it? But that doesnt explain why he refused to return my calls. He didn't return my call from Tuesday. Actually it technically wasnt a call. I texted him later that night and told him to call me after work if he felt like it, which obviously he didnt. Being the concerned girl-friendly-main-bitch type thingy, I called him the next morning, AS USUAL, to see how he was. No answer. I called again. And again. I only called 3 times, left 1 message and texted once asking, "Are you ok?" No response.
Here I sit, Saturday, and still no call. And no explanation. As his "main bitch", I feel I deserve one dammit! ... although thanks to Urban Dictionary, I have gained some insight into his state of mind. He probably doesnt really think of me as anything but a sex object, and we havent had sex in almost a month. Not because I didnt want to. We just didnt have the time or opportunity. Maybe it is as simple as that. Maybe I was getting too close? Maybe he's scared or his wife finding out! I dunno. I've asked every male in my life (and provided as much info as I could without sounding like a ho) and they all said he's asserting his dominance over me and this relationship-type-thing. So I should wait it out and let him make the first move. But if he doesnt call, then he's just interested in sex and since he's not getting any, he's moved on.
Well, 3 days later, no moves. So, with the approval of my big brother, I sent him an "angry" text, which I will post for all to see here:
I wasn't going to contact you today because I know you're spending time with your family and I want to be respectful of that, but it's hard to show you a modicum of respect when you haven't shown ME any respect.
You owe me a fucking explanation. You don't just cut someone off and have them sitting around wondering what happened to your selfish ass.
Are you still sick? Are you in jail? Are you dead? I don't know because you're being a bitch and you don't have the fucking balls to man up and just tell me to fuck off and that you don't want to talk to me anymore.
But hey, "you're a grown ass man." That's fine, but don't have someone who you KNOW cares about your worthless ass sitting around hoping you're ok.
So, what the fuck is up with you? And why are you treating me like a ho? That's all I want from you. An explanation.
***Incase you're wondering, Saturday's are his oldest son's soccer game days. He spends most of the day with his son, and has asked me not to call him on these days since the wife would be there and it would be awkward, etc. I do not call him on Saturday. He calls me.
***"Grown ass man" is something he says before any declarative statement. Example, "I'm a grown ass man, I can completely cut you out of my life because you're nothing but an easy lay to me." Something like that.
Other helpful notes:
*Main Bitch: "A term for a relationship with a woman that must be sexual, but explicitly cannot be a dating relationship. Implies a lack of any commitment, but further implies that it is the most significant relationship said person has at the given time. The "main bitch" has the ability to get closer than other girls to her man emotionally, but probably doesn't want to if she knows that she is his "main bitch". With that being said, this is the only sexual relationship the man has at the time that even remotely has a chance of working out in the long run, though this chance is still infintesimally small."
Thanks Urban Dictionary. Probably would have saved myself some of this trouble had I looked up the definition of these pet names.
So that's that. Ummm, I dunno. I guess I'll just have to get over it and not get involved with men who arent quite divorced yet. That angry text made me feel better tbh. I wish I'd been a bit meaner, but I didnt want to be overly bitchy..... just incase he really is in jail or something... :/ I'm still holding out for the boy. How pathetic is that?
No, no. It's done. Fin. I'll get over it. In the mean time, I'll sit by my phone hoping he calls to tell me he was in a horrible accident (almost died!) and lost most of his motor functions temporarily and that he's madly inlove with... oh Christ.
I need to date more. This wouldnt have blindsided me so much if I were more experienced.
That's all the news for now. Hopefully I'll be getting laid soon.
Tchau
ETA:
I JUST REMEMBERED! STILL HAVE HIS CD!! IT'S IN MY CAR! He'll never see it again, JUST LIKE MY TAINT! Mwahahahahah
Edit #2: Every minute that goes by I feel worse and worse. This entire experience has made me very sad and I feel stupid because I brought this on myself. Maybe I dont deserve an explanation. It's obvious why he won't call.
It started with shameless flirtation at work, which led to us forming a bond of sorts. If our relationship was a status on facebook, it'd be "Complicated". He wanted to hit it. I wanted to let him. Basically. So we started "talking". He introduced me to several of his friends. They all seemed to like me. Thought I was a decent person. Someone good for the boy. Shortly after, he proclaimed to all the world that I was his "Main Bitch*." A charming label, but from him, it was sweet and sincere. And from then onward, I was referred to as, "Ol Girl." A term I wasn't quite familiar with in the beginning, and to tell you the truth, I didnt know what it meant until just now. Urban Dictionary defines it as, "A woman that you are sexually acquainted with. It can be a girlfriend, fuck buddy, or just a girl you fool around with. The term is usually expessed when someone doesn't want to disclose the name of the girl they are with." That was me. And that's kind of embarrassing if you think about it. Everyone else knew what it meant but me... and he referred to me as "ol girl" in public. We are a classy pair.
So, being the classy lady that I am, I slept with him on the first date. Actually there was no sleeping, just awkward positioning in the front seat of my car. But prior to the sexing, we made out and I gave him a hand job at the theater. He invited my hand in his pants!! What was I gonna do!? Not give him something I wanted to give him anyway? Afterward, we had secks. Not in the theater!!! In my car... because we had no place else to do it... And it was hot! Full of hair pulling and vigorous thrustings. Apparently I like it rough.
And for weeks after, things were great. We were getting closer and closer. He was introducing me to more of his friends and acquaintances. Our nightly conversations became more frequent and deeply personal. Our status was changing just a bit. At least I thought so. He was taking me on dates, wanting to spend all his time with me. We did almost everything together and saw each other everyday, but we didnt have sex again.
I suspect this, among other things, was the crux of our thing-type-thing. He really wanted me. I really wanted him. But we both live with our parents..... that and the fact that he was in the process of divorcing his wife of 8 years with whom he had 2 adorable bbs! It wasnt an ideal time for him to be starting a relationship.
I always knew it wouldnt last long because he's not over his wife and they aren't legally divorced yet, but shit son! We talked every single day AND night since we've been a thing-type-thing. Multiple times a day and night. We would talk for hours. Until 5 am most mornings. We'd fall asleep listening to the other person's voice... not at the same time obviously. Some nights I'd pass out listening to him and vice versa. Then all of a sudden he cuts me off. No contact! This boy refused to return my calls and texts. This could either mean.... several things actually.
1. Jail. He's ghetto as fuck and could realistically be in jail right now! He has anger management issues.
2. Sick. Last time I spoke to him, (Tuesday, Octobe 12 *yeah Ive been counting*) he wasnt feeling well. And was worried about his wife finding out about us! *which I'm sure is why he's being all no contact with me, but he still owes me a fucking explanation!*
3. He's dead. Not likely at all actually. I would have heard about it from everyone!
4. This should probably be number 1, He's just not that into me. :( The saddest reason of all.... if you don't count number 3...
5. He thought I was into him more than he was into me and didnt want to hurt me. Doubtful. He's hurting me by letting me obsess over why he wont talk to me anymore.
6. He realized that we were moving past just being fuck buddies and into an area he was uncomfortable with because of his recent break up. I was becoming more than just a "main bitch" or "ol girl."
7. Actually THIS should be #1. His wife! They're getting back together MAYBE!
Those are the only reasons I can come up with for why he refused to make contact with me.
I talked to him Tuesday afternoon. He called ME to see what I was doing. He told me he was bored and sitting outside work not wanting to go in. I decided to go up there and hang out. We drove around for an hour and then I dropped him off at work. He was really uncomfortable with me dropping him off. Picking him up too. He was convinced people saw. That's all he could focus on. People saw us together! I told him not to worry. No one is paying attention to us. But he was convinced that his ex was going to drive by and see us together. Maybe that's it? But that doesnt explain why he refused to return my calls. He didn't return my call from Tuesday. Actually it technically wasnt a call. I texted him later that night and told him to call me after work if he felt like it, which obviously he didnt. Being the concerned girl-friendly-main-bitch type thingy, I called him the next morning, AS USUAL, to see how he was. No answer. I called again. And again. I only called 3 times, left 1 message and texted once asking, "Are you ok?" No response.
Here I sit, Saturday, and still no call. And no explanation. As his "main bitch", I feel I deserve one dammit! ... although thanks to Urban Dictionary, I have gained some insight into his state of mind. He probably doesnt really think of me as anything but a sex object, and we havent had sex in almost a month. Not because I didnt want to. We just didnt have the time or opportunity. Maybe it is as simple as that. Maybe I was getting too close? Maybe he's scared or his wife finding out! I dunno. I've asked every male in my life (and provided as much info as I could without sounding like a ho) and they all said he's asserting his dominance over me and this relationship-type-thing. So I should wait it out and let him make the first move. But if he doesnt call, then he's just interested in sex and since he's not getting any, he's moved on.
Well, 3 days later, no moves. So, with the approval of my big brother, I sent him an "angry" text, which I will post for all to see here:
I wasn't going to contact you today because I know you're spending time with your family and I want to be respectful of that, but it's hard to show you a modicum of respect when you haven't shown ME any respect.
You owe me a fucking explanation. You don't just cut someone off and have them sitting around wondering what happened to your selfish ass.
Are you still sick? Are you in jail? Are you dead? I don't know because you're being a bitch and you don't have the fucking balls to man up and just tell me to fuck off and that you don't want to talk to me anymore.
But hey, "you're a grown ass man." That's fine, but don't have someone who you KNOW cares about your worthless ass sitting around hoping you're ok.
So, what the fuck is up with you? And why are you treating me like a ho? That's all I want from you. An explanation.
***Incase you're wondering, Saturday's are his oldest son's soccer game days. He spends most of the day with his son, and has asked me not to call him on these days since the wife would be there and it would be awkward, etc. I do not call him on Saturday. He calls me.
***"Grown ass man" is something he says before any declarative statement. Example, "I'm a grown ass man, I can completely cut you out of my life because you're nothing but an easy lay to me." Something like that.
Other helpful notes:
*Main Bitch: "A term for a relationship with a woman that must be sexual, but explicitly cannot be a dating relationship. Implies a lack of any commitment, but further implies that it is the most significant relationship said person has at the given time. The "main bitch" has the ability to get closer than other girls to her man emotionally, but probably doesn't want to if she knows that she is his "main bitch". With that being said, this is the only sexual relationship the man has at the time that even remotely has a chance of working out in the long run, though this chance is still infintesimally small."
Thanks Urban Dictionary. Probably would have saved myself some of this trouble had I looked up the definition of these pet names.
So that's that. Ummm, I dunno. I guess I'll just have to get over it and not get involved with men who arent quite divorced yet. That angry text made me feel better tbh. I wish I'd been a bit meaner, but I didnt want to be overly bitchy..... just incase he really is in jail or something... :/ I'm still holding out for the boy. How pathetic is that?
No, no. It's done. Fin. I'll get over it. In the mean time, I'll sit by my phone hoping he calls to tell me he was in a horrible accident (almost died!) and lost most of his motor functions temporarily and that he's madly inlove with... oh Christ.
I need to date more. This wouldnt have blindsided me so much if I were more experienced.
That's all the news for now. Hopefully I'll be getting laid soon.
Tchau
ETA:
I JUST REMEMBERED! STILL HAVE HIS CD!! IT'S IN MY CAR! He'll never see it again, JUST LIKE MY TAINT! Mwahahahahah
Edit #2: Every minute that goes by I feel worse and worse. This entire experience has made me very sad and I feel stupid because I brought this on myself. Maybe I dont deserve an explanation. It's obvious why he won't call.