ok...
so i cant stop writing.
i dont really think i should.
this is my only outlet.
i wish i had something more to write about.
i dont though.
i have no bar stories.
i have no "wonderful time at movement" stories.
i have nothing wonderful going on.
i feel not wonderful at all.
i am so alone.
i wake up alone.
i sleep alone.
i will probably die alone
i have to learn to let go.
but i cant.
i need to get away. far away.
a vacation would be nice.
cant afford it though.
irony.
my keyboard is wet.
y-u-h-j-i-k-l-n-m
common deduction would conclude that i wipe my tears w/ my right hand.
got my hi-lo certification *for the 1,000,000th time* at Meijer
yay for heavy equipment.
i miss so many things.
most of all her.
i wonder what shes doing
thinking
is she busy?
maybe she misses me.
misses me how i wish she would.
i am a good guy
i have to repeat that..a lot
i dont feel like a good guy though
months later, i still feel like shit.
should it be this way?
should i still love someone who rejects me so..?
i will always love her.
even if she goes off and marrys johnny depp..
even if she never talks to me again.
i wish she would call..
just to hear her voice.
sigh....
this is my journal
it is a chronicle of my thoughts and feelings.
i have many friends on my friendslist
i wonder if they know.
how bad i really feel.
or if im just text on a screen, for them to browse over, killing time waiting for chads next post.
well, chads posts are cool, i guess.
my depression, is not cool.
not enough for Ljland..anyways.
i feel bad for Megans mom...
Its not right when bad things happen to good people.
*message*
im going to take my allowance and donate it.
its not much, but i dont really think i could use it in a more constructive way.
my head is resting on my box.
the vibration is almost soothing.
i will prolly have a huge indentation.
my peircing is gone, i dont think ive mentioned it yet.
its been gone two months..almost
and all my rubber bracelets...gone.
my cats claws are gone too
things are changing...not for the better.
"Keep your head up, and stuff.."
well, i keep looking up, and i keep tripping.
worst--feeling--ever
So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skys from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
i dont really think i should.
this is my only outlet.
i wish i had something more to write about.
i dont though.
i have no bar stories.
i have no "wonderful time at movement" stories.
i have nothing wonderful going on.
i feel not wonderful at all.
i am so alone.
i wake up alone.
i sleep alone.
i will probably die alone
i have to learn to let go.
but i cant.
i need to get away. far away.
a vacation would be nice.
cant afford it though.
irony.
my keyboard is wet.
y-u-h-j-i-k-l-n-m
common deduction would conclude that i wipe my tears w/ my right hand.
got my hi-lo certification *for the 1,000,000th time* at Meijer
yay for heavy equipment.
i miss so many things.
most of all her.
i wonder what shes doing
thinking
is she busy?
maybe she misses me.
misses me how i wish she would.
i am a good guy
i have to repeat that..a lot
i dont feel like a good guy though
months later, i still feel like shit.
should it be this way?
should i still love someone who rejects me so..?
i will always love her.
even if she goes off and marrys johnny depp..
even if she never talks to me again.
i wish she would call..
just to hear her voice.
sigh....
this is my journal
it is a chronicle of my thoughts and feelings.
i have many friends on my friendslist
i wonder if they know.
how bad i really feel.
or if im just text on a screen, for them to browse over, killing time waiting for chads next post.
well, chads posts are cool, i guess.
my depression, is not cool.
not enough for Ljland..anyways.
i feel bad for Megans mom...
Its not right when bad things happen to good people.
*message*
im going to take my allowance and donate it.
its not much, but i dont really think i could use it in a more constructive way.
my head is resting on my box.
the vibration is almost soothing.
i will prolly have a huge indentation.
my peircing is gone, i dont think ive mentioned it yet.
its been gone two months..almost
and all my rubber bracelets...gone.
my cats claws are gone too
things are changing...not for the better.
"Keep your head up, and stuff.."
well, i keep looking up, and i keep tripping.
worst--feeling--ever
So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skys from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?