The Wormwood Legacy 1.7
It was such a beautiful night, the hot tub was steaming hot and so was the sexy man in my arms. "This is what love is," I thought. "He's all mine. I have his total attention."
"Renee," Jeeter whispered. "I have a very important question for you. Are you going to be a cool wife?"
"What do mean? Of course, I'm up with the latest fashions and trends and... oh... Do you mean sex?" I laughed, "Oh sweety you should read my resume from Madame's, I'm up for anything up to and including..."
"No, no! That's wonderful, I love that you're so... experienced. What I'm talking about is having lots of best friends... Best friends with benefits."
"You mean an open marriage?" I thought about this. It sounded GOOD. Complete freedom to screw around without consequences? This was like a fabulous dream or a really trashy romance novel.
"Oh yes! Are you asking me to marry you Jeeter? Are we going to have a beautiful wedding in front of all your friends?"
"Marry me Renee."
After changing the stinky baby's diaper, I contemplated my new life. There was going to be so much passion. I knew that no matter how many other women that Jeeter would have, he would always come back to me. I was so excited. "You are an unlimited poop factory, aren't you kid?"
After Adela's birthday, I couldn't stop thinking about Jeeter. Was he ready to be a father? Did it matter, really? As long as he loved me and only me, then our life would be perfect. If only I hadn't gotten knocked up by that transvestite loser Goopy. I looked down and I could see him in Adela's face. "You listen to me little girl. I'm going to teach you how to be a real lady. If you're as weird as your father was then I'll feed you to the wolves." Adela just gurgled at me. It was odd that she was a toddler now, she was no longer just a poop factory.
It was the day of the wedding and I looked sensational. I had squeezed into an extra-strong spandex girdle/corset combo as well as taken a lot of water pills and laxatives. I was a little weak, but so happy.
"Are you ready, Renee?" Jeeter stood with me under the wedding arch.
I beamed at Jeeter. "Oh my love, I promise to make you so happy."
I did not know that my love was already very happy. He was making out with that tart Sandy Bruty! She was trash and he was shaming me on my wedding day. AGAIN. This would not stand!
"What are you doing Jeeter?!"
"Hey Renee, This is Sandy. She's into girls too..."
I slapped him. "How dare you do this to me on our wedding day! Couldn't you just keep it in your pants for a few more hours? Now everyone here has seen you shaming me!"
He would regret this. I thought quickly about how to get the party guests out of my house without having to talk to them or explain anything. It was getting dark and they looked like they wanted to binge for the whole night. "The weather machine!" We had rented it to guarantee a sunny clear day. Well the weather was the only thing that had been perfect.
I set the machine to Thunderstorm and Hail. It worked quickly and soon all the guests had left us alone. The happy couple. I locked Jeeter out of the house. "This is MY home."
"Where am I going to sleep? It's storming Renee! There's lightening!"
"I don't CARE Jeeter! Go sleep at Sandy Bruty's place you jerk!
"RENEEEEEE!!!" He screamed. My hair stood up on end and I ventured outside, the air was crackling with ozone and smelled of burnt hair.
The expression on his face as he lay dying on the ground, soaked in his own urine was so funny. I laughed so hard. "You stupid man. All you had to do was wait and screw around with a PRETTY girl. Not on my wedding day and not with a TROLL, certainly not a bisexual troll."
I took Adela outside to look at his ashes. "Look sweetie, Jeeter go BOOM! Don't worry honey, I'll find you a brand new daddy soon. It's not that hard." I kicked Jeeter's remains.
It was almost dawn. It would be a beautiful new day.