Pretty Little Words
Yeah, 3 AM and instead of reading for class or even sleeping like I'd like to be doing, I can't get my brain to shut up. But hey, some of the deepest thoughts come in the middle of the night er- morning lol, not saying this is especially deep or anything, but whatever.
As time goes by, I start to feel more and more like I've led an all too sheltered life. I see all of these things that people, close friends in fact, have had to deal with their entire lives and I wonder if I have any right to try giving advice when my problems pale in comparison. But after thinking about it for a while, I think it's still okay to believe in the pretty little words that are often swallowed up in the chaos that comes with growing up. To some people, I'm sure this may seem a little naive (and I'm well aware that I have some naive tendencies), but I can't shake the feeling that believing that things will always work out for the better, that trying your best is all you have to do, that you will always have people you can go to- all of those words hold the power and hope to move on with your head held high. It's not always easy, but having these beliefs in the back of your mind can be enough to give you the little push you need to make it through the day.
The world doesn't work like some children's fairytale; not everyone successfully overcomes every obstacle, saves the day, or even gets what they want in the end. But why let that stop us from trying and believing that we'll find what we need, whether or not we know that we need it?
I'll say it again that I know all of this may seem naive and that any cynics who read this (unlikely that anyone will read this anyway) will probably roll their eyes and say I'm spewing a bunch of useless bull. But I just want people to consider the possibility, keep it in mind the next time you feel like you're about to break. If I can, I want to make this meaningful for others, so I'm going to address some of the pretty little words that I've found myself sharing with others recently.
Do what you can.
Don't let yourself get too tangled in the messy fear of failure. Just give everything 100%. Tests, relationships, jobs, they all require something of you, but it's not their standards that are important- it's yours. Give it what you have and that's all anyone can ever expect from you. At the same time, even though it's hard sometimes, don't get caught beating yourself up because you think you could have done better. I know it's very common to not get the desired outcome and then blaming yourself for not trying hard enough. Keep your limits in mind. You don't hold the power to touch everything and watch it fall to pieces, and you don't have the power to put everything in perfect order again. Nobody does. But we all do what we can, hoping things will work out for the better and learning from our mistakes.
Learn from your mistakes.
When something doesn't work right, use it as a reminder for the future. Thomas Edison once said that he didn't fail, but he discovered a thousand ways how not to make a lightbulb. Take your experiences, good and bad, and use them. Never stop trying.
Don't always blame yourself.
To some extent, it's okay to feel guilty about something, but that's to be taken with a grain of salt. Guilt is a part of learning from your mistakes. It's a warning that you may have done something that you shouldn't have. But with that being said, not everything is your fault. You are NOT a burden to your friends and family- they want to help you any way they can. Everybody makes mistakes and everyone wants to be forgiven when they do. I always try to forgive people when they ask me to (though heaven knows it's very difficult sometimes) and I think that many other people do too. If they don't, then that's left for them to work out and there's nothing you can do. What's MOST important is forgiving YOURSELF. I can't stress this enough. Guilt can be a horrible thing that takes over your life if you let it. I've seen people cut themselves off from others because they didn't feel like they were worth their friends' time, which makes it even harder to make people realized how much everyone cares about them and how some things are simply inevitable and impossible to change. It takes a lot to forgive yourself, especially when the mistake is life-changing, but it's necessary if you ever want to move on with your life and face the new obstacles that have been laid out for you.
Don't be afraid.
A very close friend of mine once told me, "I will never let fear run my life." It's something that's always stuck with me, even in the most nerve-wracking situations. Of course it's normal to feel uneasy or even downright petrified about doing something, but always think to yourself, "what's the worse that could happen?" Even if you think the risks are high, the possibilities they hold make it worth the chance. Don't be afraid to tell someone how you feel. Don't be afraid to let people in because you're afraid they'll leave you. Don't be afraid of trying and failing. Don't be afraid of others' judgement. Don't be afraid to cry when you feel like you're about to break. Be the person that YOU want to be and nothing less.
So if anyone ever reads this, I hope you can find some truth in these words. All of the big hopes and dreams that we had when we were young can still be there for us as adults. With each passing year, we face new challenges, and at the end of it all, pretty little words can be the things that make all the difference.
As time goes by, I start to feel more and more like I've led an all too sheltered life. I see all of these things that people, close friends in fact, have had to deal with their entire lives and I wonder if I have any right to try giving advice when my problems pale in comparison. But after thinking about it for a while, I think it's still okay to believe in the pretty little words that are often swallowed up in the chaos that comes with growing up. To some people, I'm sure this may seem a little naive (and I'm well aware that I have some naive tendencies), but I can't shake the feeling that believing that things will always work out for the better, that trying your best is all you have to do, that you will always have people you can go to- all of those words hold the power and hope to move on with your head held high. It's not always easy, but having these beliefs in the back of your mind can be enough to give you the little push you need to make it through the day.
The world doesn't work like some children's fairytale; not everyone successfully overcomes every obstacle, saves the day, or even gets what they want in the end. But why let that stop us from trying and believing that we'll find what we need, whether or not we know that we need it?
I'll say it again that I know all of this may seem naive and that any cynics who read this (unlikely that anyone will read this anyway) will probably roll their eyes and say I'm spewing a bunch of useless bull. But I just want people to consider the possibility, keep it in mind the next time you feel like you're about to break. If I can, I want to make this meaningful for others, so I'm going to address some of the pretty little words that I've found myself sharing with others recently.
Do what you can.
Don't let yourself get too tangled in the messy fear of failure. Just give everything 100%. Tests, relationships, jobs, they all require something of you, but it's not their standards that are important- it's yours. Give it what you have and that's all anyone can ever expect from you. At the same time, even though it's hard sometimes, don't get caught beating yourself up because you think you could have done better. I know it's very common to not get the desired outcome and then blaming yourself for not trying hard enough. Keep your limits in mind. You don't hold the power to touch everything and watch it fall to pieces, and you don't have the power to put everything in perfect order again. Nobody does. But we all do what we can, hoping things will work out for the better and learning from our mistakes.
Learn from your mistakes.
When something doesn't work right, use it as a reminder for the future. Thomas Edison once said that he didn't fail, but he discovered a thousand ways how not to make a lightbulb. Take your experiences, good and bad, and use them. Never stop trying.
Don't always blame yourself.
To some extent, it's okay to feel guilty about something, but that's to be taken with a grain of salt. Guilt is a part of learning from your mistakes. It's a warning that you may have done something that you shouldn't have. But with that being said, not everything is your fault. You are NOT a burden to your friends and family- they want to help you any way they can. Everybody makes mistakes and everyone wants to be forgiven when they do. I always try to forgive people when they ask me to (though heaven knows it's very difficult sometimes) and I think that many other people do too. If they don't, then that's left for them to work out and there's nothing you can do. What's MOST important is forgiving YOURSELF. I can't stress this enough. Guilt can be a horrible thing that takes over your life if you let it. I've seen people cut themselves off from others because they didn't feel like they were worth their friends' time, which makes it even harder to make people realized how much everyone cares about them and how some things are simply inevitable and impossible to change. It takes a lot to forgive yourself, especially when the mistake is life-changing, but it's necessary if you ever want to move on with your life and face the new obstacles that have been laid out for you.
Don't be afraid.
A very close friend of mine once told me, "I will never let fear run my life." It's something that's always stuck with me, even in the most nerve-wracking situations. Of course it's normal to feel uneasy or even downright petrified about doing something, but always think to yourself, "what's the worse that could happen?" Even if you think the risks are high, the possibilities they hold make it worth the chance. Don't be afraid to tell someone how you feel. Don't be afraid to let people in because you're afraid they'll leave you. Don't be afraid of trying and failing. Don't be afraid of others' judgement. Don't be afraid to cry when you feel like you're about to break. Be the person that YOU want to be and nothing less.
So if anyone ever reads this, I hope you can find some truth in these words. All of the big hopes and dreams that we had when we were young can still be there for us as adults. With each passing year, we face new challenges, and at the end of it all, pretty little words can be the things that make all the difference.