Jun 05, 2004 12:01
for some reason i feel like posting an e-mail i sent to my best and only friend, rachel.
here it is (note: thanks to her work nazis, it is PG):
i am listening to the white stripes. de stijl. its really good actually. i have ignored them too long. finally a band i would go see. there videos are cool too. hmmmmmm.... mabye something else for your secret package is dancing in my head...... like sugar plums. i have had too somewhat friendly type conversations with girls my age. the lesbian named quisha who lives two doors down and alex, jody's daughter. the lesbian is dull, but easy to amuse and alex tryies to fuck with you when you are sand blasted, but has interesting humor. i also spoke with a rich, boring college guy who had drool running down his face the whole time. we talked about metal. he likes some good stuff, but mostly crap like sytem blah blah down, slipknot (which i am actually not sure about yet), kittie (who are disappointing), and lots of other crap i cant think of now. if you want to know about my problems, check out: www.livejournal.com/users/hateypoo i think thats right... anyways.. we should go see the white stripes one day. it would make me happy. i need happy. its getting hard for judd and me to make each other happy, since we are both depressed 24/7. man i am a dork... 24/7... thats gay... like fro yo gay. i feel wierd since thinking about you makes me want to cry. i cry about everything now. a stubbed toe, a burnt cookie. i am so tired of being disappointed. everytime i am, all my disappointment with everyf***ingthing rushes into my head. whats the point of a life full of nothing but disappointment? there is no point, but i am still alive. judd keeps me here. maybe when he says everything will get better, he isnt lying... thats my only hope right now. i have to have faith in him, but faith is so alien to me... i cant recall every having it before... how could i? my life has seriously been nothing but disappointment, with occasional happy moments, all nothing but distraction from the cold, sad, pile of shit that is me.