For theatrical_muse
#82 - The first time I saw...
Sarah blinked, lifting her head through the fog that seemed to be constantly over her eyes. The doctor swam into focus in front of her and she managed to pull her thoughts together enough to remember where she was. The doctor's name was sitting on her tongue, but she couldn't quite make her mouth work.
She was given another injection, barely able to flinch away from it before whatever drug in her system was slowly cancelled out and she was able to take a full inventory of her surroundings. She was cuffed to the table again and she twisted her hands to pick at the leather, wriggling her wrists to try and get them loose. She had to escape, had to get out of here.
"Sarah."
She looked up when she heard her name, having momentarily forgotten that the doctor was there, she wondered if she really was losing it in here. Between these sessions and then the orderlies having free reign to use whatever force necessary to make her take her medication, she found it hard to remember what was real and what wasn't.
"Sarah, tell me about the first time you saw this Terminator." the doctor said, glancing at the camera and giving the nurse on the other side a smile. Her struggled against the restraints stopped for a moment as she wearily looked at the doctor.
"You know the fucking story," she said sharply, tugging on the restraints again, twisting her wrists to try and free herself. She was well aware of the orderlies just off to one side and stilled as she saw them pull out their batons, just waiting for an excuse to have a go at her. One of them still had a bandage on his arm from where she had bitten him, taken a chunk out of his arm. She sighed and lowered her head, tugging on her hair as she started to recount the story, eyes closing. She sensed rather than saw the orderlies standing down and forced herself not to give a satisfied smile at the disappointment that practically oozed from them at not being able to get a piece of her just yet. It was the only way they got their kicks, she was sure, being allowed to manhandle her however the fucking pleased.
"It came after all the Sarah Connors in the phonebook. I didn't know about it until I heard it on the news." She wet her lower lip, "I saw someone following me when I was out... I went to see a movie because Ging-" she swallowed, the familiar pain of knowing she got her best friend killed welling up inside of her. She balled her hands into fists and took a deep breath. "I ducked into a club and called the cops, and they said they'd come for me, but they were too late." she lifted her head, not quite in the present, but not totally lost to her memories either. She was kind of stuck between the two times, a state she found herself in so often nowadays. "I thought Kyle was the killer, he kinda looked the type..." her smile became more affectionate, softer at the edges as she remembered Kyle, as she remembered come with me if you want to live and I love you, Sarah, I always have. "But he saved me..."
"Sarah." Her name was a form of control for the doctor, patronising sometimes, other times commanding and sharp, dragging her back from wherever she had gone to protect herself from the drugs they were giving her, the lies they were pumping her full of every single day while they tried to convince her she was going insane. "Sarah," softer this time, he wanted her to answer his question. "What about the terminator?"
"The first time I saw it," she said, sluggishly dragging her eyes up to meet his, "it was in the club," her jaw clenched, tension rippling through her body, eyes darkening with the recollection. Her story never changed, never wavered, because it was the truth. It wasn't a paranoid delusion like everyone here was trying to tell her. She knew she wasn't crazy. She knew it. She just didn't know how to prove it to everyone else. So she kept talking, kept telling them the same story over and over again until they fucking listened and learned and realised that if they didn't let her go then they would all be dead.
"It- It had a gun, laser pointer, perfect accuracy. The first time I saw it I realised that it was the thing that had killed the other Sarah Connors and it had its fucking laser pointer right in the middle of my goddamned forehead. All it had to do was pull the trigger and the future would have been destroyed... everything we know..." she took a breath and blinked back to the present. "Kyle shot it. He had a rifle, fired god knows how many rounds into it and it just didn't fall down, it didn't stop. It didn't-" she shook her head, fingers tangling in her hair as if it would ground her. "I have to get out of here. You have to let me go."
She lifted her head again and tugged on the restraints, hard enough to make the table jerk a little, legs scraping a centimetre or so across the floor. "I have to get out of here, I have to get to my son! I have to save him-"
"From the machines?" the doctor asked, one eyebrow raised, that tone in his voice that made Sarah want to strangle him. "Sarah, you can't see him, you know you aren't allowed any visitors."
They had revoked that privilege when she had attacked the orderlies last month and made it to the first of the two locked doors before they cornered and overpowered her. She managed to break the noses of several orderlies much bigger and stronger than she was, got herself in lockdown and under twenty four hour surveillance. She had climbed up and smashed the camera every day for a week until they started restraining her and drugging her up to the eyeballs.
"Let me out of here!" she demanded, tugging on the restraints again, fingers twisting and surprisingly deft grip undoing one of her wrists. Everyone was so shocked that it took the orderlies a moment to respond, by that point she had both wrists free. "I have to get to my son! I have to get-"
She was grabbed, arms and legs and she thrashed in the mens' grips, whole body jerking and twisting, face screwed up in anger, moving like a wild animal, trapped and desperate, almost feral. It was easy to see why they kept her in restraints. "Let me go, fucking get off me," she growled, snapping and writhing as she was unceremoniously dumped on the table. "You're all going to die if you don't let me go! They'll fucking kill you all, and your children and your families if you don't let me go!"
She kept shouting, even after the four inch needle was stabbed into her thigh. It was clear to see the sedative coursing through her as her movements became less and less strong until they were mere twitches and she just shuddered and mumbled, trying to lift her hands, shield her face from the orderlies who were rough, all but dragging her off the table by her hair and dumping her onto the bed that was dragged in for them. She mumbled her son's name, she called out for John and for Kyle, to be set free before she just- just stilled on the bed, eyes half open and glassy, as if Sarah Connor had left the building leaving her body behind.
"'s about fuckin' time." one of the orderlies grumbled, strapping her wrists down with more force than was necessary considering she wasn't responsive anymore. "Fuckin' basket case, this one. I don't know why you do these sessions."
"Because we have to help her. She's a danger to everyone at the moment, you know that." The doctor turned his head and looked straight at the camera, nodding once for it to cut.
*
Agent Ellison rewound the tape and watched the Sarah's last struggle again, jotting down a couple of notes on the pad on his lap.
Sarah Connor. Definitely a danger.
He looked at the time and took another sip of his coffee before getting to his feet and taking the tape out of the player, making a note of the date on it before putting it aside and reaching for the next one.
He pushed it in and pressed play, settling himself down for another round, almost finding himself feeling sorry for the woman.
"You're all already dead!"
Muse: Sarah Connor
Fandom: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Word Count: 1,469
Sarah blinked, lifting her head through the fog that seemed to be constantly over her eyes. The doctor swam into focus in front of her and she managed to pull her thoughts together enough to remember where she was. The doctor's name was sitting on her tongue, but she couldn't quite make her mouth work.
She was given another injection, barely able to flinch away from it before whatever drug in her system was slowly cancelled out and she was able to take a full inventory of her surroundings. She was cuffed to the table again and she twisted her hands to pick at the leather, wriggling her wrists to try and get them loose. She had to escape, had to get out of here.
"Sarah."
She looked up when she heard her name, having momentarily forgotten that the doctor was there, she wondered if she really was losing it in here. Between these sessions and then the orderlies having free reign to use whatever force necessary to make her take her medication, she found it hard to remember what was real and what wasn't.
"Sarah, tell me about the first time you saw this Terminator." the doctor said, glancing at the camera and giving the nurse on the other side a smile. Her struggled against the restraints stopped for a moment as she wearily looked at the doctor.
"You know the fucking story," she said sharply, tugging on the restraints again, twisting her wrists to try and free herself. She was well aware of the orderlies just off to one side and stilled as she saw them pull out their batons, just waiting for an excuse to have a go at her. One of them still had a bandage on his arm from where she had bitten him, taken a chunk out of his arm. She sighed and lowered her head, tugging on her hair as she started to recount the story, eyes closing. She sensed rather than saw the orderlies standing down and forced herself not to give a satisfied smile at the disappointment that practically oozed from them at not being able to get a piece of her just yet. It was the only way they got their kicks, she was sure, being allowed to manhandle her however the fucking pleased.
"It came after all the Sarah Connors in the phonebook. I didn't know about it until I heard it on the news." She wet her lower lip, "I saw someone following me when I was out... I went to see a movie because Ging-" she swallowed, the familiar pain of knowing she got her best friend killed welling up inside of her. She balled her hands into fists and took a deep breath. "I ducked into a club and called the cops, and they said they'd come for me, but they were too late." she lifted her head, not quite in the present, but not totally lost to her memories either. She was kind of stuck between the two times, a state she found herself in so often nowadays. "I thought Kyle was the killer, he kinda looked the type..." her smile became more affectionate, softer at the edges as she remembered Kyle, as she remembered come with me if you want to live and I love you, Sarah, I always have. "But he saved me..."
"Sarah." Her name was a form of control for the doctor, patronising sometimes, other times commanding and sharp, dragging her back from wherever she had gone to protect herself from the drugs they were giving her, the lies they were pumping her full of every single day while they tried to convince her she was going insane. "Sarah," softer this time, he wanted her to answer his question. "What about the terminator?"
"The first time I saw it," she said, sluggishly dragging her eyes up to meet his, "it was in the club," her jaw clenched, tension rippling through her body, eyes darkening with the recollection. Her story never changed, never wavered, because it was the truth. It wasn't a paranoid delusion like everyone here was trying to tell her. She knew she wasn't crazy. She knew it. She just didn't know how to prove it to everyone else. So she kept talking, kept telling them the same story over and over again until they fucking listened and learned and realised that if they didn't let her go then they would all be dead.
"It- It had a gun, laser pointer, perfect accuracy. The first time I saw it I realised that it was the thing that had killed the other Sarah Connors and it had its fucking laser pointer right in the middle of my goddamned forehead. All it had to do was pull the trigger and the future would have been destroyed... everything we know..." she took a breath and blinked back to the present. "Kyle shot it. He had a rifle, fired god knows how many rounds into it and it just didn't fall down, it didn't stop. It didn't-" she shook her head, fingers tangling in her hair as if it would ground her. "I have to get out of here. You have to let me go."
She lifted her head again and tugged on the restraints, hard enough to make the table jerk a little, legs scraping a centimetre or so across the floor. "I have to get out of here, I have to get to my son! I have to save him-"
"From the machines?" the doctor asked, one eyebrow raised, that tone in his voice that made Sarah want to strangle him. "Sarah, you can't see him, you know you aren't allowed any visitors."
They had revoked that privilege when she had attacked the orderlies last month and made it to the first of the two locked doors before they cornered and overpowered her. She managed to break the noses of several orderlies much bigger and stronger than she was, got herself in lockdown and under twenty four hour surveillance. She had climbed up and smashed the camera every day for a week until they started restraining her and drugging her up to the eyeballs.
"Let me out of here!" she demanded, tugging on the restraints again, fingers twisting and surprisingly deft grip undoing one of her wrists. Everyone was so shocked that it took the orderlies a moment to respond, by that point she had both wrists free. "I have to get to my son! I have to get-"
She was grabbed, arms and legs and she thrashed in the mens' grips, whole body jerking and twisting, face screwed up in anger, moving like a wild animal, trapped and desperate, almost feral. It was easy to see why they kept her in restraints. "Let me go, fucking get off me," she growled, snapping and writhing as she was unceremoniously dumped on the table. "You're all going to die if you don't let me go! They'll fucking kill you all, and your children and your families if you don't let me go!"
She kept shouting, even after the four inch needle was stabbed into her thigh. It was clear to see the sedative coursing through her as her movements became less and less strong until they were mere twitches and she just shuddered and mumbled, trying to lift her hands, shield her face from the orderlies who were rough, all but dragging her off the table by her hair and dumping her onto the bed that was dragged in for them. She mumbled her son's name, she called out for John and for Kyle, to be set free before she just- just stilled on the bed, eyes half open and glassy, as if Sarah Connor had left the building leaving her body behind.
"'s about fuckin' time." one of the orderlies grumbled, strapping her wrists down with more force than was necessary considering she wasn't responsive anymore. "Fuckin' basket case, this one. I don't know why you do these sessions."
"Because we have to help her. She's a danger to everyone at the moment, you know that." The doctor turned his head and looked straight at the camera, nodding once for it to cut.
*
Agent Ellison rewound the tape and watched the Sarah's last struggle again, jotting down a couple of notes on the pad on his lap.
Sarah Connor. Definitely a danger.
He looked at the time and took another sip of his coffee before getting to his feet and taking the tape out of the player, making a note of the date on it before putting it aside and reaching for the next one.
He pushed it in and pressed play, settling himself down for another round, almost finding himself feeling sorry for the woman.
"You're all already dead!"
Muse: Sarah Connor
Fandom: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Word Count: 1,469