1 ➸ [Action + Video]

[hasstandards]

Having spent nearly half a day sulking in the wilderness that surrounds the city, Sniper finally caved to his major vice of modern man: coffee. He wasn't ready to actually go back- he was still struggling to come to terms with the fact that he was in the future, his parents were long-dead, and there were voices and talking animals appearing on the

Comments

[Video] SHE TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT.

[notintehkitchen]

Mmmrphh mffft mnnprhhn mphh. Mnhmph mprhnnft mnn hudda mprft mmmnnnph mpnnnhhnnn!?

[video] HE'S NOT SO GOOD WITH THE LISTENING COMPREHENSION OKAY

[hasstandards]

[He's startled again on his perch as another video comes in. This thing is bloody complicated. Glancing at the screen, he can see it's the mumbling arsonist. At least he's a RED one.

RED leans the device on his arm so he can keep his balance and a watch through the scope.]

It's nice you're happy to see me, but I'm busy.

[Video] or understanding Pyro

[notintehkitchen]

[Wagging a finger at him, she glares through her gas mask and gives him a very disappointed look (not that he can tell).]

MMRPPPHH MNNN!!!!!

[video] Major Accomplishment of Day 1 (Technically 3): Do Exactly What He Was Told Not to Do

[hasstandards]

[He gives the screen an irritated look. Did that girl mention there was a Pyro here? He can't remember. Too busy concerning himself with the many ways his life had been trashed in the span of a single respawn. No, he's not bitter at all.]

If you're asking if I'm coming to wherever it is you bludgers congregate in this godforsaken place, the answer is no. I said I'm busy. You can mumble at me through that awful mask of yours later.

[And now he's trying to figure out how to hang up on you. Oh wait, there's the button.]

[Text] ROFL XD;;;

[notintehkitchen]

You idiot. Don't go doing anything stupid or I will kill you myself.

Unlike back home, I can kill you quite easily despite being on the same team as you.

[action]

[hasstandards]

[It takes him a minute to figure out how to even open the text; after that, he has no idea how one goes about responding. He just snorts irritably and returns the device to leaning against his arm.

Great. A Pyro is here too, one who sounds obnoxious already. He wouldn't do anything stupid. He's a professional- just doing his job and maybe looking to get some well-deserved satisfaction out of it, even if he isn't in 1968 anymore. He needs something to cheer him up after all the bad news, and if that pick-me-up just happens to be a BLU with a dart embedded in one of his eyes, then so be it.

He decides to ignore it. He warned you he was busy.]

[Text][15 minutes later after no response]

[notintehkitchen]

So death it is?

That can be arranged.

I suppose you don't know I can track you quite easily.

[action]

[hasstandards]

[He's no more knowledgeable about making the communicator work than he was 15 minutes ago, though he finds the text easily enough. He considers dropping it again to make the video turn back on, but then he risks interrupting his watch on BLU.

No, he can't have that. That'd be impolite. Time to ignore the text a second time.]

[Action]

[notintehkitchen]

[You know that branch you are perched on top of Mr. Hawk? Well, you better enjoy being up high for as long as you can because Pyro is already in the forest tracking down your location with an axe in hand and a flamethrower on her back.

It'll only take her a few more moments to find you before there's chopping sound at the bottom of the tree by a figure in a bulky red rubber uniform.]

[action]

[hasstandards]

[Sniper finishes loading another round into his gun, eyeing the communicator resting on his leg as he speaks quietly to the wolf pup on the other end. He catches sight of Pyro out of the corner of his eye, but it's too late by then.

The tree shakes, nearly jostling him from his perch. He grabs the limb with one arm and the gun with the other- priorities, after all- leaving his communicator to fall to the grass below. He does not look happy about this at all.]

Oi, Pyro! Knock it off!

[action]

[notintehkitchen]

[Knock it off? Why would she stop? There was no reason to if he refused not to go all crazed gunman the moment he came to Paradise.

Slamming her axe again into the wood, small bits came flying off and hitting her gas mask.]

Mmmphfftt mmnn hudda hudda.

[Taking one hand off the handle, she used a finger to beckon him to come down.]

[action]

[hasstandards]

[Sniper eyes his communicator on the ground, keeping his death grip on the branch as Pyro hits the tree again. He can feel the wood cracking under his fingers.]

Are you deaf? I said I was busy! Now piss off before you bring this whole bloody thing down with me in it!

[action]

[notintehkitchen]

[The tree is over half way cut through the trunk now. With an insane laughter, Pyro listens to his words before continuing on with her chopping business.]

Mnnnppphnnuhh!

[*CREAK, CRACK.*]

...!?

[Looking at the tree trunk, Pyro sees it start tumbling towards her. Attempting to get out of the way, the rubber suited woman takes a leap and tumbles to the side but doesn't miss the branches.]

[action]

[hasstandards]

[Apparently, bringing the whole bloody thing down with him in it had been Pyro's intention. Sniper winces as the tree creaks ominously, the insides splintering through the trunk as it takes a final blow. The tree teeters for a second before toppling with him still attached to the branch

[action]

[notintehkitchen]

[Between the branches and Sniper's weight on top of her, Pyro finds her head hitting the ground hard like a bowling ball before her head bops up and the mask she wears flies off about twenty feet in the distance.

No sounds escape her mouth that could now be used to form coherent sentences for others. Instead, she lays on the ground with her eyes closed and side of her forehead dripping blood down her face.

Luckily for Sniper, the grab to her behind will go unnoticed and there will be no embarrassment between the two of them for that awkward moment.]

[action]

[hasstandards]

[A moment passes before Sniper recovers from that second fall. He groans and opens his eyes, halfway expecting Pyro to be looming over him; however, he finds that while the world is still spinning around him, he's not in immediate danger yet. Good