cant sleep
Ant and I are getting married in about 2 months, so while he is in the hopsital again for a collapsed lung, and I cannot sleep cause our bed is lonely, I read the entries from our past. Upon reading them, I thought to myself, this is probably not a good idea. I would most likely find things from other areas of our lives before eachother that would make me anxious. After reading them, I am surprisingly not feeling so. It makes me smile about our crazy times when we were first getting to know eachother. Like our first "date" where he drove me literally around my block. Or our crazy late night drives that really kept me sane from my crazy family. It makes me smile with all of the little inside jokes that come with those times. Like the men in the mask, off roading in the saturn, and those little mints that would make your eyes water. I know that I am the only one that will read this, but it makes me feel that much more sure of my decision. I sometimes wonder if I should start feeling cold feetish, but I know that I have made the right decision and that there is no need to be nervous. I'm reading the Time Traveler's Wife and it is all about how these two are brought together and their whole lives are built around eachother and have already happened. Our relationship makes me feel that way. I'm such a sap. I'm probably getting tired lol. Another thing that this look into the past has made me realize is how lucky I am to be in a relationship that grows for each of us equally. We are in it for the long haul together.
M.B. You are my best friend; I have never been so sure of anything in my life, and I cannot wait to begin our life together. I love you, thank you for loving me.
Since I have graduated from college, an update
1. Graduate from college
2. Get Engaged
3. Write a book
4. Fly in a hot air balloon
5. Find true happiness
6. Become financially independent - for the most part
7. Ride on a motorcycle
8. See the Christmas Tree in NYC
9. Get Married -- SOON!
10. Get an interesting hobby
11. Fall deeply in love, helplessly and unconditionally.
12. See the leaves change colors somewhere up north
13. Take a walk along the beach at sunset with the person i love the most
14. Invent something
15. Spill my heart out to someone who has equal feelings
16. Visit California
17. Learn something I thought I already knew
18. Fly first class
19. Go to Grad School
20. Become a teacher ----> at karate lol
21. Go to a spa for the day
22. Become the opposite of a pack rat
23. Have my own psychology practice
24. Figure out what I actually want to major in and stick with it
25. Catch a firefly
26. Learn how to defend myself
27. Have Children
28. Become accustomed to my hips
29. Learn to tolerate small children... and LIKE them lol
30. Own a parrot
31. Become a black belt
32. Help teach at a martial arts school
33. See a broadway show
34. Be in 2 states at once
35. Jump off a cliff into water
36. Buy a house
37. Stay in the room with the Champagne jacuzzi at Caesars
38. Go to a developing country- mexico is as close to this as I'm getting lol
39. Give to a charity
40. Create my family tree
41. Hug a penguin
42. Go on a road trip
43. Learn how to play at least one song on the piano
44. Play a real round of golf
45. Go whale watching
46. Work to help fight cancer
47. Snorkel in the Bahamas
48. See a meteor shower.
49. Wish on a shooting star
50. Build a sand castle
51. Visit the Louvre
52. Eat a cheeseburger
53. Eat something seafood like... and LIKE it lol
54. See the Statue of Liberty
55. Drive a moped
56. Drive around Central Park in a Horse drawn Carriage
57. Get a tattoo... maybe
58. Meet someone of political importance
59. Lay out underneath the stars with a blanket and bottle of champagne
60. Be happy with myself
61. Learn how to ballroom dance
62. Take ballet
63. Meet someone famous
64. Be in NYC for the Ball Drop
65. Be in a movie
66. Crochet a scarf
67. See a movie in a drive-in
68. Not worry what people think
69. See a sunrise
70. Visit Australia
71. See a sunset
72. Rock Climb
73. Go skinny dipping
74. Become close with my father
75. Stay close with my mother
76. Win a championship
77. Visit Groman's Chinese Theater
78. Be okay with my body
79. Live with no regrets
80. Go on a cruise
81. Live as healthy as possible
82. Have something named after me
83. Join a Sorority -- well we tried lol
84. Be a florist
85. Send a message in a bottle
86. Go to a ballet
87. Go skiing
88. Have a 'motto'
89. Send a love letter
90. Be someone's mentor
91. Stand at the top of the Empire State Building
92. Get tarot cards read
93. Try snowboarding
94. Meet Rufus Wainwright
95. Run a marathon
96. Swim with a dolphin
97. See the Mona Lisa
98. Try sushi
99. Be able to buy any car I want
100. Be able to just be "me".