Nino/Jun - Angel With Broken Wings (part2)
part 1
The relationship between Nino and Jun began to change after that night when they slept together. Somehow, with that one bold step that Nino took, the invincible wall stood between the two of them melted away. Jun never avoided Nino’s touch anymore, he even welcomed it and sometimes initiated it. Because of that, Nino was always happy, grinning like an idiot everyday, which made Sho raised his eyebrow in concern at his friend whom he thought had mental problems.
It’s not like Nino cared (because Nino never cared what Sho said in the first place) so he didn’t mind the mocking (from Sho) or the knowing smile (from Ohno) that his friends sometimes directed at him. Nino was so happy for having Jun, for making Jun open up to him little by little everyday (though Jun still refused to talk and Nino wondered why). He had told Sho about this feeling inside him, the happiness that he felt whenever he saw Jun loosening up, and what Sho said to him shocked him.
“That must be love.”
Nino stared at his friend unblinkingly and Sho just had to laugh at the expression that Nino was making.
“You are falling in love, Nino-chan.” Sho mocked. “And you are falling hard.”
Nino didn’t believe Sho’s theory (because even though Sho was considered to be smart he was actually clueless in the romance side, Sho never had a girlfriend all his life after all) so he just brushed it off. Yes, sleeping with Jun left him satisfied every night. And yes, seeing Jun made him happy everyday. But that didn’t mean he had fallen in love with Jun. No way.
Nino was in denial for sometime until that one day he saw Jun smiling affectionately at Ohno who was busy trying to save the burnt egg (it’s definitely the egg for his breakfast and Nino made a mental note not to eat his breakfast, no matter what Ohno told him about the egg’s history) and how Jun immediately got up from his seat to help Ohno when his butler failed at his job in making breakfast. That was when Nino realized that he did love Jun.
Jun was always beautiful, but when he smiled, he become even more beautiful and Nino fell in love with that smile. He swore to himself that he would protect Jun with everything he got so that Jun would never lose that smile again.
He, Ninomiya Kazunari, had definitely and completely fallen in love with Jun. And he’d fallen so hard he wondered whether he could save his heart if someday Jun decided to go away from him.
++++
Jun had started to talk bit by bit, to him, to Sho and mostly to Ohno because Jun had some strange attachment to the butler, and it made Nino incredibly happy. Jun became even more cheerful than when he first came to his house. Now he could joke with Sho and even mocked him for his horrible fashion sense, and he could even scold Ohno when the butler was dozing off instead of doing his job as butler. He also smiled a lot at Nino and often told what had happened at the house after Nino back from work.
It was a very happy month to Nino. Until one day Sho came to visit him, Jun and Ohno at Ninomiya’s household, bringing along a new guy with him. The guy was Aiba Masaki, a tall boy with handsome face and incredibly nice feature and warm smile, and Sho introduced Aiba as his friend. Though Sho said that Aiba was his friend Nino knew that Sho liked Aiba. The way Sho looked Aiba was the same with how Nino looked at Jun.
Knowing that Sho was infatuated with Aiba, Nino welcomed the man with both hands, even considered Aiba as part of his family already. Aiba was really nice and loud and always happy, but there’s something beneath all those happy façade that make Nino think that Aiba was a pretty sad and lonely man. And Nino didn’t like how Aiba stared at Jun sometimes, like he was trying to take Jun away from Nino.
Other than that though, Aiba was a good guy and Nino couldn’t hate Aiba, despite what his heart had told him, that Aiba was dangerous. Nino loved Aiba like he loved Sho and Ohno and Nino was kind of lonely too anyway, so it’s fun to have Aiba around. Aiba could make the mood brighten in a second by his lame joke and he never minded if Nino threw a remark at him, not like Sho who always tried to retort back.
Everything was good for Nino, though he realized that sometimes Jun stepped back from his touch if they’re in front of the others when Jun never done that after the night they slept together but it’s nothing to fuss about because Jun never avoid him when they’re in the bedroom, so Nino think nothing of it.
Not until Aiba touched Jun so casually one day and Jun didn’t even flinch or shied away from the touch, he even leaned toward Aiba and looked comfortable with Aiba touching him, that Nino finally snapped.
“I’m not-“
“Don’t deny it, Jun.” Nino said his voice low and dangerous. He was consumed with jealousy and he couldn’t see anything anymore other than the image of Jun leaning toward Aiba, enjoying Aiba’s touch. “I see it with my own eyes.”
Jun looked uncomfortable as he shifted from foot to foot, avoiding Nino’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” Jun muttered, still looking at the tiles. “I’m sorry, Nino.”
“What are you sorry for?” Nino asked, his voice was still low but it had lost its sharpness. His voice somehow sounded so hollow and - dare he say it? - afraid of what he would hear next. When Jun didn’t answer him the first time he asked the question, he took one step closer to Jun, and asked again. “What are you sorry for, Jun? Tell me?”
This time Jun looked up at him, his eyes shining with unshed tears and his expression was full with guilt Nino wanted to say that it’s okay, he didn’t want to hear what Jun wanted to say because he didn’t care and as long as Jun stayed at his side it would be more than enough, when Jun opened his mouth and threw the bomb right to his face.
“Aiba-san was my previous master. And he’s also -,” Jun choked up at his own words as he lowered his head again. “And he’s also my first love, my previous lover.”
If Nino never knew how it felt to be broken-hearted, he surely knew it now. He could hear his own heart breaking into pieces and there’s no way he could fix it again, because he somehow had a feeling that everything would go downhill from here. He just never knew how right he was.
++++
The day after Jun told him about his past relationship with Aiba, everything began to go out of control. Nino was so cold toward Jun and Aiba until Ohno, the peaceful man amongst the five of them, had to speak his mind, which was very rare because Ohno never spoke until he felt it really necessary to do so, and Nino finally snapped.
“What do you want me to say? That I’m happy Jun finally re-united with his previous lover? That I’m going to give Jun away so that Aiba can take him from me?”
Nino was so hysterical he didn’t realize the shocked gasp from Aiba and how bad Sho was hurt due to his words. Jun couldn’t look at anyone and kept his head low while Ohno stayed silent but everyone could see that he was shocked as well.
There was silence between them after Nino’s announcement and no one dared to talk. It was Aiba who spoke first.
“I didn’t want you to know about that.” Aiba said. Nino glared at him but Aiba could only offer his smile, though his smile was not as bright as usual. “I came here because I wanted to know how Ma-chan was doing because I’m worried that he might not be able to adapt here. Ma-chan was always bad with new people.”
Jun looked up at that and Aiba gave him his warmest smile and Jun couldn’t help but to smile back. Watching this only made Nino even more jealous at how comfortable Jun was with Aiba when Jun took so long to finally be able to receive his touch, moreover smiling at him.
“Why didn’t you just go away when you see that Jun was okay, here? He’s not your ‘Ma-chan’ anymore, he’s Jun now, ever since the day I bought him at the auction.” Nino remarked and he knew he was angry because Jun flinched at the tone he used and Ohno was frowning at him.
Nino didn’t care though. He was beyond caring right now. Jealousy made him unable to see anything anymore. All he could feel was the anger he felt for Aiba and also how he wanted to strangle Aiba to death for appearing in his life. If Aiba had never showed up then the four of them, him, Sho, Ohno and Jun, would have lived happily at this house without anyone to interrupt their peaceful life.
It was silent again in the room and there was an awkward air between the five of them before Aiba broke the silence with his too cheerful voice.
“As you said, Ma-chan - no, I mean Jun - was happy so there’s nothing I could do here anymore. I guess it’s time for me to leave.” Aiba chirped happily. He then hugged the still frozen Sho, squeezed Ohno tightly as Ohno squeezed him back, pat Jun on the head lovingly, and took Nino’s hand to shake it. Nino realized that Aiba’s hands were cold and shaking but when Nino looked up, Aiba was still smiling though Nino could see that beneath that fake smile Aiba was actually crying.
“Thank you for considering me a part of your family, I’m happy to be here. I give Jun to you, I hope you can make him happy.”
With that final word, Aiba left Ninomiya’s household and he never came back anymore.
Everything was supposed to be normal after that, they just back to their old routine when Aiba was still not part of their circle, but it’s hard to do so when you looked at the chair Aiba usually occupied and found it empty, or when Ohno accidentally made five cup of tea or cooked dinner for five people when there’s only four of them, or how Sho avoided visiting Ninomiya’s household and when he did his smile was so fake Nino wanted to snap at him.
And when Nino took Jun to bed the day Aiba left, Jun was crying and it tore Nino’s heart completely at how submissive Jun was when he usually fought Nino a little before he gave up and let Nino do whatever he wanted at him.
Everything had changed, and no one knew how to make it normal again.
++++
Nino didn’t know how to make everything better again. Jun was constantly in a dark mood everyday since Aiba left them a month ago, and no matter what he did to make Jun smile again it didn’t work. Even his loyal butler gave him his silent treatment while his best friend since childhood visiting him everyday like he had always did though he wore a fake smile on his face.
Nino was tired of the cloudy atmosphere enveloping them and he often got angry, usually his anger was directed to Ohno who just gave him a displeased look before leaving him alone. Nino couldn’t take the heavy atmosphere anymore so he finally snapped and said things that he really didn’t mean to.
“Just go, go away!” Nino shouted at no one in particular but the three other occupants knew that the anger was directed to them. “Go away from here and find Aiba if you want! I don’t care anymore! I don’t want to see any of you every again in my life!”
With that, he left the living room angrily, leaving Ohno, Sho and Jun in shock. The three stared at each other. It was silent between the three of them but somehow they managed to get their message across and they came into one conclusion.
The next morning when Nino woke up, the house was unusually silent and empty. Usually there would be clatter in the kitchen where Ohno would cook the breakfast, or noises from the living room where Sho and Jun usually played cards or games. That morning no sound could be heard and Nino knew that it was his fault. It’s all his fault.
And all he could do was drowning himself in drinks, not allowing anyone, not even the maids who he paid daily to take care of the house, to enter the house. He locked himself inside his own house, and everyday he would cry himself to sleep, thinking about Jun and his beautiful smile, about Ohno and his clumsiness in the kitchen, about Sho and his childishness that sometimes appeared on the surface, and even about Aiba.
Nino wondered, while he’s drowning his next bottle of whiskey (he didn’t remember how many bottles he had) whether they would come to his funeral. He really wanted them to come though, so that he would know they had forgiven him somehow.
With tears running down his face, Nino fell asleep on top of the sofa he lied on and thought that dying alone was no fun at all.
++++
In his dream, everything was perfect.
Ohno was cooking in the kitchen (and of course he failed again the time Jun didn’t pay attention to him), Sho was reading newspaper in the living room, Jun was accompanying Ohno in the kitchen while listening to his butler’s story of his day-off (which of course, contained only about fishing), and Aiba was there also, smiling like always, trying to play the game by himself but in the end dragging him to play.
It was a normal and peaceful and happy day.
But it was only a dream.
When he woke up from his slumber, Nino found himself still lying on the sofa, whiskey bottle on his hand, and it was dark. And of course, he was alone.
The house was still empty, no sound could be heard, and Nino didn’t like how he felt so alone in his own house. His house usually gave him this peaceful feeling after a hard day of work because only in his house he could be himself with the friends waiting for his return with smile on their faces. But now, the house was the place he hated the most.
He threw the bottle on his hand to the wall near him and it crashed into several pieces. Nino covered his eyes with his hand and cried silently to himself until he fell asleep again, another happy dream taunting him which would make him feel even lonelier than before when he woke up the next morning.
++++
He didn’t know how many days had passed since the first day he found that everyone had gone and that his house was empty. Maybe around a week? Nino was not sure anymore. He lost track of time lying on the sofa drowning himself in alcohol, locking himself inside his own house.
He tried to sit up on the sofa but the headache was so intense (he suspected it was due to the whiskey he had been drinking for the past few days) he had to lie down again. He had nothing to do after all and what good it would do to him if he got up anyway? No one would be there to welcome him and it would be a pain to get up and wash himself when he would be drowning himself again in his misery after that, so he just lied down there and closed his eyes again, willing himself to go back to sleep.
Nino was halfway into his dreamland when he heard some noises from outside the work room that he currently occupied. Alarmed that there’s intruder inside his house, Nino got up and cursed silently for the hangover that he had, and then went out of the work room to see what had happened.
Maybe he had known that the intruder was not dangerous or maybe it was just instinct telling him he had nothing to worry because he didn’t even bring any tool with him to protect himself. He just walked out of the work room and into the living room to find four familiar figures crouching on the floor, whispering nonsense to each other (or maybe Nino just didn’t understand what they were talking about).
“Why are you so clumsy? You know he would be angry at us for breaking his stuff!”
“But I don’t really mean it! It was dark and I couldn’t see a thing!”
“You shouldn’t make an excuse-!”
“Well, well, that’s okay. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”
“He’s going to kill us!”
“He wouldn’t.”
“He wouldn’t right? He wouldn’t.”
“Why are you saying it twice? And where’s that confidence come from?”
“Be optimistic, guys!”
“Your optimism is not going to help us at all.”
“We are going to get killed. We are going to get killed!”
“He wouldn’t- Oh, Nino.”
That was when the four figures finally realized that he was standing there, watching them bickering, confusion written all over his face because he never thought that he could see them ever again after what he had done to them.
“Why?” was the first word that he had said to them and the four figures actually stared blankly at him before one of them smiling brightly at him and answered in a very cheerful voice.
“Because we are family.”
And that answer was more than enough for Nino.
++++
That night, after the reunion had ended (though Nino doubt it could be called as reunion with them just sitting in the living room eating the crackers that Aiba bought with him in his rucksack), they decided to retreat to their own room (Nino had said to them that it would be okay for them to use any room they wanted). The house was silent again but this time Nino didn’t feel so lonely like before because he knew that in the morning everything would be normal again, with loud noises and laughter filling the house.
Nino was content enough to live like that because he dreaded living alone again. It was a nightmare for him, a nightmare that he didn’t want to see ever again. So he was really surprised to hear a knock on his bedroom’s door and with hesitant voice he answered the call and let the guest inside his room.
It was Aiba.
“What is it? You want something?” Nino asked.
Aiba shook his head. “I just want to say something to you.”
Nino was curious. Aiba rarely got serious over something so the serious expression he showed right now meant that he really wanted Nino to hear him. “What is it, Masaki?”
Aiba looked downward at first, seemed like he was battling with himself whether he should say it or not, but then he looked straight at Nino and Nino knew that whatever doubt he had before he said the words had clearly disappeared.
“It’s about Ma-chan- I mean, Jun.”
Nino tensed at the name. “What about him?” he asked, his voice wavered and he mentally scolded himself for letting Aiba see his weak side.
“I know you love him, Nino. And he loves you too.”
“Don’t say things you are not sure about, Masaki.”
“I’m serious.” Aiba took the seat beside him on his bed and Nino wanted to scold Aiba for not asking permission first but he knew it would be useless. Aiba was always like that and he was too glad to have Aiba back to scold him.
“How did you know?”
“Ohno, Sho-kun and Jun were visiting me in Osaka to convince me that you didn’t really mean about telling me to go away. They wanted me to go back to Tokyo. I was hesitating at first, because I know that it would be awkward with me in the house, with my past relationship with Jun and all.”
“What makes you come back, then?”
Aiba was smiling when he said his next words. “Jun came to me and said that nothing to be worried about because you would understand, and that he had fallen in love with you the first time you bought him from the auction and gave him another life. And he also said that he would never leave you, not even for me.”
Nino was speechless to hear what Aiba had told him. He never knew that Jun was in love with him. All this time, he thought that he was the only one who was in love, and that when Aiba came he was sure that Jun would leave him because Jun clearly liked Aiba more than him, but he was wrong.
How stupid he was.
Aiba patted his back lovingly and then left him alone in his room to ponder on the information he had just heard about Jun in love with him.
He really was stupid. Then all his anger and jealousy toward Aiba was useless, having to live by himself for several days when all his friends left him alone was also a torture he wouldn’t have to face if he had never let the ugly jealousy ate him. He was so stupid he was not sure what to do anymore.
He lied down on his bed, thinking about Jun, about the first time they met at the auction and how he was so entranced by Jun that he bought him without thinking twice. Then he knew about Jun more and fell in love with him, giving him everything and even swore to himself to protect Jun’s smile. And yet he was the one who stole that smile from Jun.
Closing his eyes, Nino fell into a deep slumber where he dreamed about his perfect life because he had Ohno beside him like always, Sho and Aiba playing in the livingroom and bickering like always, and Jun as his lover, the one that he loved from the bottom of his heart. Jun was laughing at something stupid Ohno had done and Nino fell in love with him all over again.
++++
Nino was woken up to a soft touch on his face. He didn’t immediately open his eyes, savoring the feeling of soft fingers pressing the contour of his face lightly, but not too light because Nino could feel it while he was sleeping. He couldn’t help but smile, because without opening his eyes he already knew who these soft fingers belonged to.
The hand moved to his forehead, brushing away some stray fringe from Nino’s face. Nino heard a soft intake of breath, and then the voice he had been missing so much was heard.
“Good morning.”
Apparently, Jun knew that he was already awake. So Nino opened his eyes and was welcomed by the sight of the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.
Nino should greet good morning back. But looking at how breathtaking Jun was while looking down at him with that smile gracing his face, Nino decided saying good morning was such a waste.
“Beautiful.” was what Nino said instead.
And Jun laughed.
The sound of his laughter echoed by the walls of Nino’s bedroom and found its way right into Nino’s heart. It was so pretty Nino’s heart was shaking inside.
In one moment I wanted to kiss him, and with one smile I fell for him, and when I heard his pretty laugh I wanted forever with him.
And Nino knew that his life now was perfect, not only in a dream but also in reality because he had everything he ever needed in his life.
END NOTE;
How is it? I hope it's good? :D