fixed jeep, new job, school burnout, and a boy situation. lol.
Been trying to do a better job of keeping this thing updated at least semi-daily, that way when I do update, the entries won't all be quite so damn long, hahah. Though any of you who really know me know that they will still be long anyway, because I always write way too much no matter what it is for.
Let's see...things are all starting to come together a little better for me right now. Just today, I got my Jeep fixed and got it back, I got my money order from my Dad in the mail so I can go sign the apartment lease tomorrow, and I talked to my new boss and he wants me to start work tomorrow morning so I can get a little "training". So that all worked out really well, timing-wise anyway. Now the only things hanging over my head that are still kinda stressing are school and Mike.
I'm so ready for classes to be done, I can't hardly stand it anymore. I think I have skipped more classes than I have attended this past few weeks. I'm getting really extremely burned out on school. Somehow I'm still doing okay as far as grades are concerned though. Only a week and a half til finals now though. I'll make it somehow. I really need to get my butt in gear here, I've been really unmotivated in all areas of my life lately, and I think that's contributing to my depression more than anything. I need to start doing more homework and stuff, and I need to start working out again. I always have so much more energy when I do.
As for Mike, he came over Saturday night as promised. I made dinner, and we ate and listened to music (Aaliyah, lol. I'm sure Mr. Rock Music loved that, hahah). Then we sat on the couch and talked for a little while just about random things, and decided to watch a movie. So he picked John Q. (Even though I had just watched that the night before with Dana, haha). So we laid on the couch together as usual and watched that, and when it was over, we talked for a little while longer, but he said he needed to get back home because he had to get up early for work the next day and he was already really tired when he first got to my apartment. So we playfully argued about him leaving for a few minutes, compromising between him saying 5 more minutes and me saying 30. I guess he won cuz we ended up agreeing on like 7 minutes, lol. So anyway, I didn't talk about any of the stuff that has been bothering me lately, because for the most part, things seemed fine while he was here. We kissed a few times, and I don't think he would have been as cuddly as he was if there was anything wrong. We did talk a little bit about the fact that we don't hardly ever see each other anymore, cuz he was saying how he's going to start being really busy in May because he's starting classes and continuing to work at the same time, so he was saying we'll probably never see each other once that starts, and he was saying how much it sucks. He actually sounded bummed about it, which I guess is a good sign. When I jokingly said "We never see each other now either, I'm sure I probably won't see you much at all after tonight anyway." he responded "Well I don't start all this until May, we still have all of April!" like he was trying to comfort me a little bit. So when I said "Yeah, but look at your schedule for next week as an example of how April is going to go. You work almost every day, so we still probably won't see each other much at all," he answered "yeah, but I get out at 6:00 every night this week, so there could still be time." So I think that if there was any reason why he was trying to get out of this thing with me, he wouldn't have been trying to convince me that we'll still get to see each other. I've talked about this with a few of my friends, and they all think that things are probably fine by the sound of it, and that things are just slowing down naturally like they always do in a relationship. So I'm going to try to listen to my friends and just not worry about it. And I am also going to stop calling him quite so often. I did mention to him casually that I've been doing all the calling lately, just kinda as a joke during one of our "arguments" and he did admit to that, and said he's been really lazy with the phone thing lately. So now that he kinda realizes I've noticed, hopefully he'll try to call me once in awhile again. He did call Friday night, so I give him credit there. But for now, I'm going to back off a little because I've hinted a little bit as to how I feel about the whole thing, so now it's time for me to not come on too strong and to leave the dice in his hands for a while. And now that I had one more decent night with him, I feel a little more comfortable backing off because I'm not as stressed and worried about it anymore. So I guess we'll just see what happens, I'm just going to roll with whatever happens for awhile because in the end that is the best way to go I think.
Let's see...things are all starting to come together a little better for me right now. Just today, I got my Jeep fixed and got it back, I got my money order from my Dad in the mail so I can go sign the apartment lease tomorrow, and I talked to my new boss and he wants me to start work tomorrow morning so I can get a little "training". So that all worked out really well, timing-wise anyway. Now the only things hanging over my head that are still kinda stressing are school and Mike.
I'm so ready for classes to be done, I can't hardly stand it anymore. I think I have skipped more classes than I have attended this past few weeks. I'm getting really extremely burned out on school. Somehow I'm still doing okay as far as grades are concerned though. Only a week and a half til finals now though. I'll make it somehow. I really need to get my butt in gear here, I've been really unmotivated in all areas of my life lately, and I think that's contributing to my depression more than anything. I need to start doing more homework and stuff, and I need to start working out again. I always have so much more energy when I do.
As for Mike, he came over Saturday night as promised. I made dinner, and we ate and listened to music (Aaliyah, lol. I'm sure Mr. Rock Music loved that, hahah). Then we sat on the couch and talked for a little while just about random things, and decided to watch a movie. So he picked John Q. (Even though I had just watched that the night before with Dana, haha). So we laid on the couch together as usual and watched that, and when it was over, we talked for a little while longer, but he said he needed to get back home because he had to get up early for work the next day and he was already really tired when he first got to my apartment. So we playfully argued about him leaving for a few minutes, compromising between him saying 5 more minutes and me saying 30. I guess he won cuz we ended up agreeing on like 7 minutes, lol. So anyway, I didn't talk about any of the stuff that has been bothering me lately, because for the most part, things seemed fine while he was here. We kissed a few times, and I don't think he would have been as cuddly as he was if there was anything wrong. We did talk a little bit about the fact that we don't hardly ever see each other anymore, cuz he was saying how he's going to start being really busy in May because he's starting classes and continuing to work at the same time, so he was saying we'll probably never see each other once that starts, and he was saying how much it sucks. He actually sounded bummed about it, which I guess is a good sign. When I jokingly said "We never see each other now either, I'm sure I probably won't see you much at all after tonight anyway." he responded "Well I don't start all this until May, we still have all of April!" like he was trying to comfort me a little bit. So when I said "Yeah, but look at your schedule for next week as an example of how April is going to go. You work almost every day, so we still probably won't see each other much at all," he answered "yeah, but I get out at 6:00 every night this week, so there could still be time." So I think that if there was any reason why he was trying to get out of this thing with me, he wouldn't have been trying to convince me that we'll still get to see each other. I've talked about this with a few of my friends, and they all think that things are probably fine by the sound of it, and that things are just slowing down naturally like they always do in a relationship. So I'm going to try to listen to my friends and just not worry about it. And I am also going to stop calling him quite so often. I did mention to him casually that I've been doing all the calling lately, just kinda as a joke during one of our "arguments" and he did admit to that, and said he's been really lazy with the phone thing lately. So now that he kinda realizes I've noticed, hopefully he'll try to call me once in awhile again. He did call Friday night, so I give him credit there. But for now, I'm going to back off a little because I've hinted a little bit as to how I feel about the whole thing, so now it's time for me to not come on too strong and to leave the dice in his hands for a while. And now that I had one more decent night with him, I feel a little more comfortable backing off because I'm not as stressed and worried about it anymore. So I guess we'll just see what happens, I'm just going to roll with whatever happens for awhile because in the end that is the best way to go I think.