If I follow along, does it mean I'm alone?
"If I sing a song will you sing along?
Or should I just keep singing right here by myself?
If I tell you I'm strong will you play along?
Or will you see I'm as insecure as anybody else?"
~~Blue Man Group~~
I'm in a funk. And not the good kind of funk either. I've been so depressed lately, irratable, sad, tired...all day for the past week or so. I'm not even on my rag. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. All I know is that I hate feeling like this. I hate more having to pretend like I don't feel like this.
I feel like I've lost so many friends recently. I feel really guilty about it too. Maybe I could have gone out of my way more to hang out with people. Honestly though, I just feel like I've actually changed and grown up in the past few years where many of the people I used to lean on haven't. My walls of friends that used to protect me from feeling bad have started to crumble.
I feel fucking useless right now, and I can't even put my finger on why. No one calls to hang out anymore. Almost everytime I call someone to hang out, they don't want to. I feel so fucking lonely sometimes. Even with Josh. He falls asleep at about 8:30 or 9:00 now, so at night, I'm left alone for my mind to race a million miles a minute and to feel sad and bad about not having anyone else to turn to.
I need to take a trip to GA so bad. I need to see the people that I've always been able to lean on and that have grown and changed as I have. I need to be away from the drama, from all the fucked up shit that happens in Bowling Green. I need someone here to help me think through all this shit that's been cluttering up my brain.
I hate this shit. I cry for no reason. I feel like my heart is breaking sometimes and I can't figure out why.
Or should I just keep singing right here by myself?
If I tell you I'm strong will you play along?
Or will you see I'm as insecure as anybody else?"
~~Blue Man Group~~
I'm in a funk. And not the good kind of funk either. I've been so depressed lately, irratable, sad, tired...all day for the past week or so. I'm not even on my rag. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. All I know is that I hate feeling like this. I hate more having to pretend like I don't feel like this.
I feel like I've lost so many friends recently. I feel really guilty about it too. Maybe I could have gone out of my way more to hang out with people. Honestly though, I just feel like I've actually changed and grown up in the past few years where many of the people I used to lean on haven't. My walls of friends that used to protect me from feeling bad have started to crumble.
I feel fucking useless right now, and I can't even put my finger on why. No one calls to hang out anymore. Almost everytime I call someone to hang out, they don't want to. I feel so fucking lonely sometimes. Even with Josh. He falls asleep at about 8:30 or 9:00 now, so at night, I'm left alone for my mind to race a million miles a minute and to feel sad and bad about not having anyone else to turn to.
I need to take a trip to GA so bad. I need to see the people that I've always been able to lean on and that have grown and changed as I have. I need to be away from the drama, from all the fucked up shit that happens in Bowling Green. I need someone here to help me think through all this shit that's been cluttering up my brain.
I hate this shit. I cry for no reason. I feel like my heart is breaking sometimes and I can't figure out why.