Not a White Wedding...
I have a thing about weddings...I dislike them greatly. The pomp and ceremony, sappy sentiment and general hours of gushing just make me want to crawl into a dark corner and wait the whole thing out.
Unfortunately today was my brother's wedding and as much as I wanted to escape it there was no way in hell my mother would allow it. It actually wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't been (a) a garden wedding and (b) 38C (100F!!)Granted the garden was decorated beautifully and I imagined a group of faeries parading through the ivy, flowers and griffin statue but the heat and impending dust storm dampened my mood in a more than sweaty way.
To add pain to my distaste was being forced to crowd around the happy couple as they said their vows. I entertained myself by taking photos and ignoring nauseating sappy moments. Really, who wants to see their brother all pathetic, nervous and flustered?
Thankfully the vows took about five minutes as opposed to the seven hours we were actually there. I amused myself by chatting with a spinster aunt, who seemed to detest the occasion and snotty children as much as me...and she's a school teacher!!
To top off heat/sap/children/feral reallies was my Brother and Sister-In-Law's appalling taste in music. Mike Oldfield followed by a series of unrelenting 80s "hits" which seemed to keep falling back onto "The Ballroom Blitz" the likes of which I haven't had to endure since embarrassing scout discos in the early 90s.
My niece Isabelle sums up my mood...
On the upside I have drank my weight in sugary drinks and then sweated it all off, got a tan and have numerous photos of myself looking bored shitless to reflect upon. Also I was convinced when I started working in a school that reproducing was a bad idea, now having been to a wedding, I can say elopation is looking a mighty fine idea.
For the record I brought this to Mother's attention and she hit me!
Unfortunately today was my brother's wedding and as much as I wanted to escape it there was no way in hell my mother would allow it. It actually wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't been (a) a garden wedding and (b) 38C (100F!!)Granted the garden was decorated beautifully and I imagined a group of faeries parading through the ivy, flowers and griffin statue but the heat and impending dust storm dampened my mood in a more than sweaty way.
To add pain to my distaste was being forced to crowd around the happy couple as they said their vows. I entertained myself by taking photos and ignoring nauseating sappy moments. Really, who wants to see their brother all pathetic, nervous and flustered?
Thankfully the vows took about five minutes as opposed to the seven hours we were actually there. I amused myself by chatting with a spinster aunt, who seemed to detest the occasion and snotty children as much as me...and she's a school teacher!!
To top off heat/sap/children/feral reallies was my Brother and Sister-In-Law's appalling taste in music. Mike Oldfield followed by a series of unrelenting 80s "hits" which seemed to keep falling back onto "The Ballroom Blitz" the likes of which I haven't had to endure since embarrassing scout discos in the early 90s.
My niece Isabelle sums up my mood...
On the upside I have drank my weight in sugary drinks and then sweated it all off, got a tan and have numerous photos of myself looking bored shitless to reflect upon. Also I was convinced when I started working in a school that reproducing was a bad idea, now having been to a wedding, I can say elopation is looking a mighty fine idea.
For the record I brought this to Mother's attention and she hit me!