Email Sucks
I’ve been seeing this guy for two and a half months, there was a 4 week time lag between our first and our next date due to a business trip and a stolen piece of luggage. Our overall average between communications was about two weeks, all this being said, I really like him, there is good chemistry and he is attractive, smart and funny. We kept it light and fun seemed to be negotiating our parameters
We last saw each other on Boxing Day, it was the first time I spent the night and we had a lovely time. I texted him when I got home then followed up a week later with an email suggesting a possible date over a week away for our next encounter, but also saying that if he had time earlier I would like to see him.
11 days later on the afternoon of our proposed date, he left me a somewhat garbled message. It did not come up on my phone as being from him so I did not get to it for a few days. He sounded unhappy, he said that he was not good company and that he was thinking of me, he hoped I was not too angry with him.
I wasn’t, but I was disappointed that we weren’t going to see each other and I was starting to wonder if this was going anywhere, so I sent the email below. What follows is our email on this matter
Sent 1/20/11
Me: Hey,
I just got your Phone message. I saw your call come in but for some reason your name did not come up so it got the back burner treatment.
Nice to hear your voice, I figured that your life was busy. I hope whatever the trouble is that it’s sorting its self out. I have faith in your abilities to work through anything.
So here it is, I really like you and I really enjoy the time we have spent. I’d like to spend more and I’m open to being flexible because I have a very full life as well. I want to hear back from you more frequently, if you are interested in what I want. If not, then now is the time to step away.
If you are interested in me, then you need to make an effort. I’ve been making all the first moves, which as we know is my style, but we are adults and should be equals, everyone should feel desired and appreciated.
Well, that’s it. If this is all I get to say to you, then remember, I think your great and I’m sorry it didn’t work out between us, whatever it was we were doing. Take Care and be well.
Otherwise, call me,
Sent 1/24/11
Him:
I apologize for my lack of assertiveness in our relationship. I was trying to accommodate your schedule earlier, and now am filled with various occupations and preoccupations. I had to say goodbye to my father over New Year's, and then discovered a nodule within my left lung last week, and am awaiting more information on its composition. I also am working on a remodel job in _______ and scheduling this season's concert and foodie schedules as well. It's not that I am not interested in you, on the contrary, you are an interesting and fun person. I am just in a place where I am not ready to have a girlfriend. I haven't written in a while, a sure sign of my mood, and so all I can do at this moment is apologize for not being there for you in a way you would find acceptable. I'll send you another email when I have resolved the issues plaguing me, and see if you might be up for another go at it...
Be well and filled with joy,
Sent 1/24/11
Me:
I am so sorry to hear the scale of the circumstance that lead to our infrequent communication. I wish I had sounded less cavalier in my last email. Even if you are not in a place where a girlfriend is a good idea, you do sound like you are in a place where a friend is of use. You have one in me. I am very sorry to learn about your farther. I'm concerned about your health. Please let me know what is going on with that.
I would like to be there if I could be of help
Take Care,
How did everything go so far wrong so quickly? I am stunned.