I surrender
It's not like he says, I swear.
I'm not going to bash him, all I can say is, what he said I did, it wasn't like that at all.
I'm not clingy.
I'm not manipulative.
I have/had my own life too.
But now I have no life.
Or I do, but I wish I didn't, I wish I could stop breathing, I really do.
I don't know if I've ever meant that as much as I do now.
Oh God.
I've ruined everything.
It must be my fault, that's all I can think.
If it were his fault he wouldn't be so mean to me.
I must have done something terrible.
I've ruined everything like I always do.
I'm no good.
I'm no good.
I'm no good.
He hates me now.
Love becomes hate.
He hates me.
Oh God.
He's gone.
All gone.
Everything gone.
I wish I were dead.
He hates me.
No one else cares enough to see me.
I'll sit here forever.
I don't care.
I don't care anymore.
I love him and he hates me.
Friends have fights, it happens.
But he said we're over, we're history.
Doesn't even want to go to prom with me.
Hates me so much.
All I did was try to explain...
I swear that's it.
No guilt trip, no tricks, no accusations.
Just trying to explain how I felt.
I can't do this.
I hate this feelings.
I can't do anything.
I'm waiting to die, or for someone to save me, but no one will, no one can.
And I'm so tired of crying and not being able to breathe yet not dying.
I can't breathe right now but somehow I'm still alive.
Oh God it hurts so much.
No one knows.
Oh God I'm dizzy.
I'm fucking dizzy and crying and scared and he hates me and always will.
Just please believe me, I know he's closer to normal than I am, I know you probably believe him, but please don't, please believe I would NEVER get mad at someone for having his own life, I would NEVER keep him from being with his friends, I would NEVER try to make him feel guilty about having his own life, that's NOT me, that's something ELSE in his mind that something about me triggers, the poor boy is TRAUMATIZED and constantly suspicious.
I didn't do anything, I swear.
He hates me.
I bet he wouldn't care if I died tonight.
He'd think to himself, Good riddance, she was such a crazy annoying bitch.
I'll admit that, I am crazy, and my craziness probably gets annoying.
But I'm not manipulative.
I don't do guilt trips.
And I'm NEVER clingy.
But I shouldn't have said anything, ever.
I should know better than to speak my mind.
Apparently my mind is full of illusions and falsehoods with just anger everyone.
Apparently I can't see truth, because when I think I see it, and I try to speak it, I am attacked by the whole damn world.
He hates me.
He won't speak to me again.
And I can't try to speak to him again because if I do I'll be clingy.
It's over.
The END.
He hates me.
I'm hurting.
I'm hurting so much.
And he's having fun, and he'll continue to have fun, and be happy, and live prosperously, without this unbearable little leech who made the fatal mistake of attempting to explain.
And he's so smart, so rational, everyone will believe him, I am humiliated.
He has humiliated me.
Please believe me- I'm not clingy, what he said wasn't true, he missed the point entirely.
Now everyone thinks I'm something I'm not.
He's gone and he took my dignity with him.
I wish I were dead.
I'm not going to bash him, all I can say is, what he said I did, it wasn't like that at all.
I'm not clingy.
I'm not manipulative.
I have/had my own life too.
But now I have no life.
Or I do, but I wish I didn't, I wish I could stop breathing, I really do.
I don't know if I've ever meant that as much as I do now.
Oh God.
I've ruined everything.
It must be my fault, that's all I can think.
If it were his fault he wouldn't be so mean to me.
I must have done something terrible.
I've ruined everything like I always do.
I'm no good.
I'm no good.
I'm no good.
He hates me now.
Love becomes hate.
He hates me.
Oh God.
He's gone.
All gone.
Everything gone.
I wish I were dead.
He hates me.
No one else cares enough to see me.
I'll sit here forever.
I don't care.
I don't care anymore.
I love him and he hates me.
Friends have fights, it happens.
But he said we're over, we're history.
Doesn't even want to go to prom with me.
Hates me so much.
All I did was try to explain...
I swear that's it.
No guilt trip, no tricks, no accusations.
Just trying to explain how I felt.
I can't do this.
I hate this feelings.
I can't do anything.
I'm waiting to die, or for someone to save me, but no one will, no one can.
And I'm so tired of crying and not being able to breathe yet not dying.
I can't breathe right now but somehow I'm still alive.
Oh God it hurts so much.
No one knows.
Oh God I'm dizzy.
I'm fucking dizzy and crying and scared and he hates me and always will.
Just please believe me, I know he's closer to normal than I am, I know you probably believe him, but please don't, please believe I would NEVER get mad at someone for having his own life, I would NEVER keep him from being with his friends, I would NEVER try to make him feel guilty about having his own life, that's NOT me, that's something ELSE in his mind that something about me triggers, the poor boy is TRAUMATIZED and constantly suspicious.
I didn't do anything, I swear.
He hates me.
I bet he wouldn't care if I died tonight.
He'd think to himself, Good riddance, she was such a crazy annoying bitch.
I'll admit that, I am crazy, and my craziness probably gets annoying.
But I'm not manipulative.
I don't do guilt trips.
And I'm NEVER clingy.
But I shouldn't have said anything, ever.
I should know better than to speak my mind.
Apparently my mind is full of illusions and falsehoods with just anger everyone.
Apparently I can't see truth, because when I think I see it, and I try to speak it, I am attacked by the whole damn world.
He hates me.
He won't speak to me again.
And I can't try to speak to him again because if I do I'll be clingy.
It's over.
The END.
He hates me.
I'm hurting.
I'm hurting so much.
And he's having fun, and he'll continue to have fun, and be happy, and live prosperously, without this unbearable little leech who made the fatal mistake of attempting to explain.
And he's so smart, so rational, everyone will believe him, I am humiliated.
He has humiliated me.
Please believe me- I'm not clingy, what he said wasn't true, he missed the point entirely.
Now everyone thinks I'm something I'm not.
He's gone and he took my dignity with him.
I wish I were dead.