[RP] Cradle Part 1
And here's yet another RP I've been working on. This time with meggle_star.
Title: Cradle (this won't change like BR's did)
Rating: NC-17 as a whole (due to violence/possible lemons), but T for this chapter
Summary: With Bookman's death, and the Earl's disappearance, lives have changed: Lavi--on a course back to the Bookman Clan, and Kanda--having risen to the rank of General. But what happens when, in a drastic turn of events, these two lives meet once more?
Pairing(s): eventual LaviYuu, hintings of Cross x Allen/14th (LATER),and onesided Lenalee x Allen (when they show up--again LATER)
A/N: In case anyone's confused, this takes place roughly one year after the events in the canon timeframe. Probably not correct, but it's easier to deal with this way XD. Also yes, this is all we have up (this is the raw-format, obviously). This probably WILL go up on FF.net at some point. But not until we do some editing and such. *nod* oh yes but--PLZ COMMENT, I wanna hear what people like of this idea? *considering I've had it around since forever* it was just too big for me to take on myself.
WARNINGS: implied shounen-ai/UST, language, violence, mentions of drinking, sex drugs, mild case of Level 5 Lavi*no one's supposed to get this yet and I think that's it for this chapter?
Um...other than that:
Lavi played by Meggle_star
Kanda & Polar played by Me
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Cradle, the place where it begins…
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Kanda decided a bit belatedly that maybe this hadn't been such a good idea--when his back connected sharply with the jagged point of a building teetering on the edge of collapsing. Dangerously close to burying him--as he caught his footing and pushed away--kicking up dust, debris, and wondering why the hell people were still /here/--didn't they fucking know what /Akuma/ were by now? The Black Order had done their fucking job hadn't they? Or should he have really--no...no...Mugen burned in his grip, as he sliced through the oncoming sea of Level Ones and Twos--he would /not/ go back there. Not after that.
He had better things to do. He'd rather /do them/ while he still had the damned time to. Before they tied their damned leash too tight and tugged him back--he'd never say it to the man directly, but he was grateful to Komui for being so lenient. For pushing his case. He wiped blood from the edge of his mouth, feeling the tattoo burn against his chest as small wounds healed instantaneously and the akuma exploded in flourish around him.
He felt his lips twitch into a familiar, but grim smirk--when the explosions stopped (a few moments later, yes, heh--this was so easy now) and the dust settled on what was once a town of some sizable accont. Enough for a train to pass through. Enough for--he cringed--people to still be standing around like idiots--crushed by fallen debris, or loved ones, broken and mangled.
He let out a sigh, and ground out--to one girl, small, crying over the limp form of her mother, "Get up." The girl's eyes widened, "Go. Leave. She's dead." The girl's lips moved soundlessly, and Kanda half wondered if it was too late. Half wondered how the hell the General's did this--how the hell /Tiedoll/ did it--but now wasn't the time for that.
"Leave," He said again, and the girl teetered, staring once more at the lifeless form of her mother--almost shaking her head, but halting the movement, "Didn't you hear me /leave/. This is no place for you." He didn't want to. He really didn't want to but--"Your mother is /dead/." He took a few steps to the lifeless body, feeling for the pulse he knew wasn't there, "See? Now go. She wouldn't want you to end up
*like her."
Though he doubted the girl would believe him, and he hated the small twinge caused because of it. Even when he brandished his sword--and fear lit her eyes--she still wouldn't budge.
/Why the fuck do I care anyway?/ He spat on the ground next to the dead body and sighed, "Fine. Don't believe me." And he turned away.
Turned away--as he heard the sobs begin to break out--or--or--he assumed so.
Until he felt a small hand grip his jacket, and looked down. Big, grey eyes staring up at him--/Goddammit/--He almost didn't move Mugen fast enough--/Already? But /how/?/ He didn't want to know that either as the poor girl transformed--easily--but he didn't let her get that far--
Slitting her throat was easy. Too easy.
But the queasy feeling in his stomach wasn't.
/Goddammit/ But he would turn away like always. On this dusty road in search of that one person--he was an Exorcist. That was his job. His heart clenched a little at that--"My...job...."
He turned away to look as the body of the young girl crumbled into pieces, on the dusty ground, and sighed.
"Of course." and turned away again
--
He was running, and running still. Even if it was true, and even if it wasn't-- at least he had hope to run, and not just obligation. It was the difference between now and later, the here and the future--
Him. And if he wasn't at the end of this, then what reason did he have for even trying?
Out of all the things he liked doing better, wringing answers out of civilians definitely wasn't one of them. The man was too shaken to say anything, really, or maybe too bored-- he stared off at nothing in particular and made Lavi turn to look over his own shoulder a number of times, with eyes focusing and snapping back to attention at a rate that bewildered the redhead. Even if he was good with people, that was only something he'd acquired over time, over years of manipulation and practiced observance. And unfortunately, all this only made it that much harder to work with the almost-insane.
*"Nee, so that's all you saw? Just some guy, dashin' around and causin' explosions?"
*Again, the man didn't answer. It was like keeping something afloat, the way he was supporting him-- and other were peering over wreckage to look at him, suspiciously, which made him feel pressed with time he didn't have.
*Even with this information, Lavi was bored. Because that exact explanation correlated exactly with his former life (if he could even say that anymore) with Black Order as an Exorcist. It just didn't--
*Wait.
*"Y'mean--" Lavi began, and he took the man's shoulders in a gentle grip as he looked at him, gaze firm, "You actually saw someone killin' them? "
*And Lavi hardly had time to chide himself for old habits, things already undone and lost to time and memory, when the man [actually] looked up at him with pale eyes paralyzed with fear, and /nodded/.
*"With a sword," the man added, voice hallow."A chokuto or something of the like."
*Something cracked.
*"Description-- you got something? Anything?" His hands wouldn't hold still and the sick urge to shake him was welling up, but he swallowed it all with his apprehension. His fear his desperation his hopefulness. All the other things he'd grown numb to in the months he'd been away.
He turned to leave as quickly as his mind was set, and he glanced at the others briefly as he walked away. "I'm not a threat," he called, his voice echoing off ravaged tin and splintered wreckage. They seemed to trust him enough in his, at least, as they surrounded the broken one and shielded him from their surroundings, hands touching and pressing, forming a protective net of bodies.
And Lavi shook his head, and kept on walking.
"Black hair. Sharp eyes."
And Lavi turned around and looked at him, and he wanted to see something meaningful in that gaze. But all he saw was truth, and that was all he needed to take off again.
His boots tore at the ground, ripping up dirt that had long settled and plants that had taken root. This trail of destruction had to end somewhere, after all, and he couldn't count on insanity to find it for him. And when he finally stopped, he looked upward without thinking and caught an all-too-familiar face-- much too familiar, just as he was much too close. He could even see the look of regret flash across the other's face as he drew that sword and, in what seemed like less than second, artfully slid the blade across the young girl's throat.
She fell with the sound of crumbling earth, dying ashes, and Lavi stepped right over them without thinking.
He was right there. So close, his hand was reaching out and his name was right on his lips, but--
Kanda hadn't been expecting it, when the ground began to quake underneath him, and for a dreadful second he wondered if he had truly killed that girl behind him--but--she was only a level one! It shouldn't have--
He barely had time to whip his head around--to ready Mugen when he saw a flash of red hair, and his skin was cutting real flesh, not Akuma--and--he gasped--/Fuck/!
And Mugen skittered away, the flash of red hair--the familiar green eye--and the /blood/ mixing with both--it was just his hand. Just his hand. Not deep--he wanted to tell himself that as he tried to register--the man yelping in pain--as the last few buildings collapsed to the ground around them--
/Fuck fuck fuck/
"/La...vi/....?" The man was tipping forward, pressing against him, his name on his lips as blood smeared against his Exorcist Jacket (Gold instead of Silver--Tiedoll had been so proud. So. Damn. Proud) as they hit the ground, rubble digging into his back with an /oof/--weight above him nearly crushing--
And then the man said his name.
"/Yuu/-chan?"
It was more of a gasp, really, to try to gather his surroundings again and contain everything he was feeling right now-- and blood flow, too. The bright red mess dripping from his palm, thin rivulets twisting down the side of his wrist-- pooling all over the gold material of Kanda's jacket. His bright gold /General's/ jacket, and /that/ was the part that really got him talking.
Because this honest-to-God really /was/ him. Was /Kanda./
And he was seriously bleeding all over his shiny clothes, which warranted death in usual situations.
*"Nee~ nee, Yuu-chan~," he laughed nervously, his hand having already been cut on accident-- he didn't want anything purposeful. "You're not gonna kill me yet, right? I mean, since we just now ran into each other 'n all."
Looking into the man's speechless face was crazy, almost gratifying. All sharp-eyed and pale-skinned, neat black hair in its usual style, thin dry lips that never kissed-- all of it. It was like seeing a picture and noticing that nothing had changed, except.. in actuality, it somehow had. He just couldn't put his finger on it in all his excitement.
And that's when Kanda realized. He had a bleeding mess of a rabbit in his arms. Grinning at him--staring at him--in awe--in--something and--he couldn't find the words. But Kanda Yuu was never speechless, and certainly never in the face of idiot rabbits who liked to bleed all over him--but--but--
"Baka," he covered the man's bleeding hand with his own, noting his wince and almost--almost feeling that twinge, "Dead? I'm surprised you /aren't/. Why the fuck are you /here/?"
It hadn't exactly been what he meant to say, but the idiot was grinning so widely--so like /Lavi/--but hadn't he said before he left that he wasn't anymore?
Well, the idiot sure could fool him, if that smile was anything to go by, and if the series of rambles right afterward were anything to go by (and /shit/ he was bleeding too much. Too much--they needed to /move/ didn't they?)
"Because," Lavi began, and he found it hard to speak here with all the words forming at once in his mind, bubbling out with absolutely no provocation-- "Because I'm goin' back to the Bookman Base, but I got sidetracked. So I was out here, y'know, asking people about this Akuma attack, and this guy was really out of it but I was askin' him anyway, see, since none of the others would even get near me, and--"
It was then that he hit a realization. Not only was he bleeding all over Kanda, he was also sitting on him, and just because Kanda hadn't drawn his sword didn't mean that he wasn't about to. He dared to press his hand to his forehead for a moment, only a moment-- then withdrew it as he grinned at him, climbing off to sit next to him in the dust.
*"Well damn, I guess you /are/ real, nee?," he said, drawing out more words, more sentences-- "And since I'm not dreaming or anything, I guess that means I can keep on talking. Since I know you love my voice and all," he added, unable to keep himself from grinning like the idiot Kanda thought he was.
On impulse, he pressed his hand into the ashes as he spoke. "But yeah. He said somethin' about a
*guy with sharp eyes, dark hair-- of course, you're the only person I know with that profile."
Kanda raised his eyebrow at that, "There are survivors?" He looked back towards the dead body of that girl's mother, "Che. That's....good." he really didn't want to sound relieved, nor did he--well--he supposed he...sort of cared. Fuck--he didn't need to give a report of /another/ village burned to the ground and it's inhabitants turned to ash.
And Lavi--that /idiot/--"Che, distracted? You never change do you?" The flicker in the man's lone green eye slightly startled him, but not as much as it should--he had grown accustomed. Or he liked to think he did, as he stood on shaky legs and reached down to pick up Mugen--thankfully it hadn't slid as far as he had thought, as he sheathed it and turned back to the redhead, who was currently attempting to stand--
"Don't fucking let go of your hand. You want it to bleed anymore?" He asked, bitterly, watching the idiot as he tried to do just that--only to fall over. Though he succeeded on the second try and Kanda had to wonder if it was just some sort of act, "Are you ready?" he asked, pushing those thoughts away, "I'll bring you back to...
*wherever the hell you were." Wherever the hell /that/ was, "There might be Akuma still lurking around." and from the looks of it--no--of course the man didn't have his Innocence. Why would he have something that connected him so intimately to his previous life? Kanda scoffed at the notion--
Why had he even thought it?
"Survivors, yeah. But as for Akuma," Lavi said, taking great pains to stand up again, "..Well, that's also a big possibility. I mean, the town was pretty much wiped out, y'know?"
The ashes on his hand felt good, he thought, studying it as he sat frozen in a crouch. Just another helpful thing that Bookman had taught him, another outdoor medical thing he could do if he had nothing but himself and a fire. Just make sure they're cold first, he remembered Bookman saying, or you'll only be an idiot without his first layer of skin.
One of the first things Bookman had said to him, maybe. Certainly not the last, because.. the last had been to leave the Order and take this journey, after all, to the land where he /actually/ belonged.
*And it was strange, that the emptiness he wasn't supposed to feel was still there. He wondered how Bookman died like he did-- no expression, no kind words, but there was still a little sadness there.
And maybe a little unmentioned regret, but that was none of Lavi's concern.
*He stood unsteadily and reached out towards something invisible to balance himself. Once he was up, he took in a deep breath and held up his unburnt hand, first pointing at Kanda, then letting his eyes trace his finger in the direction he was looking towards.
"About a mile this way, give or take," Lavi guessed, and looked at Kanda with a convincing smile. "And since you're comin' with me, we'd better get movin' before they leave us. ..Or me, at least. But it'd be bad either way, nee?"
Kanda mutely nodded his head, and turned to the direction Lavi had pointed (which--it made sense--it was directly from where he had come, so....), keeping a hand firmly on Mugen's hilt as Lavi wobbled procariously in front of him, hand dirtied with--were those ashes?--as they made their way around fallen buildings, branches, and towards the east side of the city, which (from what Kanda could see) still contained more buildings than this side had.
He half wondered if it was his fault, but shoved that thought aside (it didn't matter as long as the Akuma were held at bay), sighing and watching smoke curl from the distance--
And Lavi? Fuck, it almost felt like old times.
Because he would /not/ shut /up/.
"Y'know," he said, trying hard to make conversation, "I can't really even tell how far we are from there. No depth perception." And at this, he pointed at his single green eye, hoping Kanda would get the joke for once.
"A-And that was a joke, nee?," he added, just in case it went over his head as usual. "I /do/ have an eye, but.. y'know. It kinda doesn't work when covered n' all."
Kanda blinked at him, for a moment, and just--well--/What kind of joke was that/? He turned away and 'Che'd', picking up his pace despite his foot twinging ever so slightly, with each step. He figured it must have been broken at one point, but ignored it. It was healing, so it didn't matter.
But he could tell the idiot didn't like it one bit. He was trailing behind now and that--/that/--"Che idiot, you know where they are. I don't." his eyes narrowed, "And if you have an /eye/ under that eye patch then why the fuck don't you use it?"
Not that he really cared.
"Why the fuck don't I use it, eh?" Lavi gave him an amused glance, pressing a finger to the eyepatch in question, because-- "I don't think I could tell you even if I wanted to."
Bookman protocol, yadda yadda. It was always the same old thing, but Kanda, oh Kanda-- he would be the one to ask him why. And it almost pained him that he couldn't share it, but there were worse things, he figured.
*Like getting such an eye in the first place, but that would be giving too much away, now, wouldn't it?
Kanda frowned, shook his head, and turned away--continuing to walk and not even caring if the idiot kept up this time. It would be his own fault if a damn Akuma came up and attacked them. Though he knew he would draw enough of them just on his own, with his Exorcist jacket, bloody but still wearable.
He hoped it stayed like for a while. Not that it mattered. Or--it did but--
"Che, hurry up!" Not that he cared, but it did make him hurry up--and soon they were walking side by side.
Silent, but still side by side.
And soon--soon Lavi was leading the way again, and--raising his unwounded hand to wave at someone--/Who was....?/
"Ah, /there/ you are." It was a forgettable face, wearing what looked like an oversized tunic--bandages covering his arms, and scars on nearly every inch of available skin. Kanda tensed immdeiately, but the man didn't even seem to notice him--as he walked up--eyes turned to completely focus on the redhead, "Where did you run off to--Bookma--"
But Lavi cut him off, with a violent flourish of hands, an easy excuse falling from between his lips.
*"It's nothing, really. We only got sidetracked, is all, but if we leave now then we should get there on schedule." He gave the man a smile-- nothing like the grin he gave Kanda, not even close. It had more edge to it than any smile he would've given /anyone/ at the Black Order.
Something reminiscent of shark's teeth, maybe, but he wasn't calling himself out on it.
"Gather all this up," he said and as he spoke, he gestured sharply to the ground where other Bookman escorts sat. "All this blankets, get everything put away so we can depart. Now."
When he turned back, he looked at Kanda. Only briefly, and only for a few seconds, but he looked at him, and it lingered. All too soon he was looking at Michaelis again, and he was placing his hand on his tattered shoulderpiece, squeezing a little for emphasis.
"Your time wasted is my time wasted, after all," he whispered. "And I don't like that one bit. Not at all."
Kanda watched as the man nodded his head, a bit stiffly--everyone stiffly, moving, shifting blankets, folding with a percision that looked too inhuman to be normal. It made his gut clench in an overly familiar way--but he said nothing, watching as the men packed their bags (their weapons) and the scarred man led the way, through the rubble, exact percision--and his eyes found Lavi's again, for a split second.
"Hn," the man deflated, "What? You expect me to go with you?"
"Expect, no," Lavi decided, shifting his bag onto the arm of another escort-- eyes all too easily settling on Kanda's. "But I assumed that you would, hence the collectiveness. Because any other day, I feel that you'd have already left, but-- who knows. Maybe people change, /nee?/"
*An accident and he /knew/ it, and Michaelis was glaring him down from ten feet away-- damn it. "Not for your ears, Miccy. Mind your own business, would ya? Just this once, pretty please?"
And Lavi looked at Kanda again, briefly, in a bored sort of way-- he was no stranger to trading faces, but this got tiresome after a while.
*"Truthfully," he lied, "I don't care what y'do, but you'd better think fast if y'wanna come with us. Because we're leavin' here in a second or two, and I can't waste much more time than I have."
A moment of silence, and--- "Michaelis. For the love of God, let me be a 19-year old again for five seconds. You know how much I /love/ talking like I've got a rod up my ass all the time."
*Back to Kanda with a mostly-genuine grin. "Y'got it? So what's it gonna be, Yuu-chan?"
Kanda watched the exchange with a certain amount of....not confusion. He wasn't confused but, it wasn't as if he hadn't expected this, in any case, as he shifted and felt Mugen's weight on his back--his only possession currently. Contents ruined or in safe havens elsewhere.
"Che, are any of them Exorcists?" Lavi gave him a knowing look, knowing and nearly scathing, "Then I'll go. You're idiots if you think you're traveling in an area unguarded." A few of the men turned their heads at that, at the association, but quickly turned away--piling into the carivans--three--dangling with objects he hadn't quite seen before.
They headed for the first cart--Lavi sitting on the back--waving rudely before entering--and beckoning Kanda inside.
He barely got two feet in before his hand fell on cool metal and he saw--Lavi--bemusedly pinching some poor man's nose. Kicking them in the shin a moment later--and--
They still didn't wake up.
/What/?
Thoroughly amused with himself, Lavi walked his fingers up the bridge of the man's pale nose, tugged lightly at his eyelids-- even pulled his ears at one point, but when all none of this failed, he was content to pull random strands of fine, pale hair as consolation.
He looked at Kanda, didn't swallow his laughter at all-- in any case, he'd better get it out before getting around Michaelis again, that man and his rules and--
"What?" he finally asked, because seeing Kanda so bewildered was a rarity. "Nothin' like this'll wake him up, not a chance."
*The cart bumped a little beneath them, and for a moment, Lavi felt weightless. But not even the shock of gravity shook the man awake, and by this point-- "C'mon, Polar, or I'll tell Yuu-chan here what a girly-man ya are. How you dance around in dresses an' stuff when no one's around."
*Still nothing. And Lavi was howling with laughter now, his ribs aching, sure that 'Yuu-chan' had already deemed him mentally insane.
"See? Still nothin'. It's damn hilarious!"
Kanda's eyes narrowed, warily, as Lavi continued to 'mess with' the sleeping man (Polar? He had called him Polar--what kind of name was /that/?)--tugging harsher at strands of hair, tugging at the scarf, sleeves, but never removing the articles of clothing.
Kanda was at least somewhat grateful the man was deciding to be /decent/. But he frowned none the less, sitting back as the cart went up over another patch of bumpy road--and unstrapping Mugen--trying to lay it, as carefull as he could--onto the floor next to him. Next to that gun.
But, then, suddenly the, cart tilted violently, and Mugen slid--along with the gun--against the farside wall.
/thump/
"Gah!" Kanda didn't get a chance to widen his eyes before he was being violently kicked in the side, where a wound was still in the beginning stages of healing--he yelped and--
Then--
"/Lavi/!" A heavy accented voice (french?) greated him as he hissed, and the sound of a very solid body hitting wood came to his ears and suddenly, somehow, Lavi was crawling overtop him, behind him, using him as a shield--and a gun--handheld--was pointed at his face.
Oh. Great.
He was holding onto Kanda tight, tighter than the man probably liked, not that he would've liked it /anyway/, but he /did/ have a gun trained on him, capturing the majority of his attention, and--
--Wrong time for this, definitely, but Kanda's hair still smelled like soap. As in, the bars that lined the rocks in the bathhouse at the Order. Being the opportunistic rabbit that he was, he pushed--
his shield outward a little more so he could comfortably sit behind him. A feat that would've been easier if Kanda wasn't holding himself as stiff as always.
"G'mornin!," he said to Polar brightly, one arm at Kanda's side. "I was practically doin' community service there, y'know? People waste a lot of their lives while asleep, so think of it as a favor!"
Polar frowned, eyes narrowing, "Community Service. Of course. Right." He didn't lower the gun. He made it a point not to. Not even the--well--/who/ was this? "And who are you?"
Kanda growled, almost wishing he had Mugen in his grip, at least to defelect the blade, but he was stockstiff--something he wasn't usually, no, he needed to be able to /move/ and /move--goddammit/--he elbowed Lavi in the ribs but the man still held firmly at his waist.
"I should fucking ask /you/ that." But he didn't say lower his gun becuase if he did the man might shoot and--his jacket was open. He saw two others. What the /fuck/? Was he a gun freak?
He looked back at Lavi. Pointedly. Explanation was in order. Maybe introduction.
Lavi grinned. A lot. Not sure if it was from Kanda's glare or Polar's weapon(s), but something in him loosened the words he'd originally meant to say-- and so he did, feeling rather pinned.
So, being rabbit-like as he was, he wriggled a little closer and squeezed Kanda hard, practically /feeling/ his annoyance.
"This guy, right here," he said, speaking directly into Kanda's ear-- "Is Polar.--
*And he's actually a lot tougher than I just played 'im up to be, so I wouldn't try a repeat of what you just saw.. if /I/ were you."
He looked up at the paler man now and smiled, indicating the man he was clinging to. "And this is Yuu-chan from the Black Order. He's a swordsman, though, and prob'ly wouldn't know a firearm from a hole in the ground."
Kanda's eyes widened, and he turned to glare at the idiot behind him--or...tried to--"What the /fuck/--is that supposed to mean?" Lavi simply giggled, which didn't make a crapload of sense--not that he expected him to, "Che. I'm a General in the Black Order," He stated, turning back to Polar, who was now looking at them both, amused, "an Exorcist. If you don't have one on board then--you're fucking insane."
Because they were. Really.
Polar sighed, lowering his gun, "Y/es/ I've heard of the Black Order--who hasn't?" He looked the Japanese up and down, then his eyes skittered over towards the blade resting against wall still, "That's your Innocence?" He completely lowered his gun now, tucking it safetly back into its holster, "BEcause you're right--none of us are Exorcists. and we may as well be a bunch of idiots too--for coming out this far into their territory." His eyes focused on the redhead, "Not quite sure /who/ to blame it on, not that I can really--after all--" and then--oddly--he smiled. It was polite, and well mannered, and nothing unlike one of the Moyashi's Poker Face's
*he had put up once upon a time--when he had cared enough tobe around the guy on a daily basis.
"After all, it isn't like you to want to go back immediately--that place has never been kind to you." Kanda felt the redhead tense behind him, and one glance--one glance--but--the redhead wouldn't let him look at him. No. He had buried his face into his back, for some reason and--/goddammit/--
"/Baka/." He hoped the man would respond.
Even with the provocation, Lavi didn't feel like lifting his head up to look at him. Not really, after Polar had gone and brought it up again, because honestly, he'd /almost/ forgotten about it when he'd seen Yuu-chan's face for the first time in a while.
But forgetting wasn't part of his job, at least, not when it got right down to it, outside of the trivial people he met, changing places and faces and all that. But that honestly wasn't the point here.
Only remembering, and remembering /only/. Which, as it was, a very bitter pill to swallow.
"Y'see, Yuu-chan~" he began, and it took him a moment to sift through his words, to peek into his own large vocabulary-- "I'm under orders. And not from the Black Order, mind you, but I gotta go back. To.. where it all began, I guess. Not for
*me, I mean, but for the Bookman Clan."
And with a bit of uncertain laughter, he added, "Not that it concerns you, but the help's appreciated. Prob'ly more than you know or care to think about."
He settled his chin on Kanda's shoulder and looked at Polar for what felt like a very long time, wondering if maybe he was playing it up a bit. If maybe there was tact involved for mentioning it in front of Yuu-chan, but... maybe not.
"In any case," he said, in a voice colorless and very uncharacteristic of himself, "this goes on for a few days. We just gotta get across this stretch of Europe 'n all, and then we're clear."
Without thinking-- or maybe he was, and was just looking for comfort-- he squeezed him. Tight.
And he'd be damned if Polar didn't raise an eyebrow.
Kanda scowled as the idiot squeezed even harder around his waist--what the--? And--
"Che, and how much longer is crossing 'this stretch of Europe'?" Because he had a distinct feeling it might take quite a while and well, fuck it if he cared but--he elbowed the man in the ribs again, "You're fucking insane if you think the Akuma are just /here/."
"Well aren't we all a little insane?" his eyes turned up to Polar--who was looking at them both....almost amused. Almost. But for no damned reason, "So I guess you'll be sticking with us a while. Hope you don't mind." He held out his hand--gloved and proper, again reminding him of white haired beansprouts who tried to smile when they fucking shouldn't and made people /worry/--but he shoved the thought of the other Exorcist from his mind (or would he be a General now? He didn't know. Ever since the Earl disappeared, they hadn't kept such a close surveillance on him--so he assumed that meant moving him up in the ranks like he....rightfully deserved, as much as he fucking hated to admit it). He wouldn't be going by there any time soon. He didn't /want/ to. he had told himself that. This came first. /Then/ he'd go back--to crying Tiedoll's Moyashi's, and a picture that wouldn't quite be as perfect as it was before--
"Well?" He jolted out of the memory enough to turn his head, and the man quickly retracted his hand, "Quite the friendly one, aren't you? Though I suppose that's just as well. It would be worse if you were friendly." He watched the man again, turn his gaze to his blade, "Picking up the sword--any weapon--I suppose it does that to you. Doesn't it?"
And for some goddamn reason it sounded like he wasn't just talking to him. Like he was talking about--/all/ of them--and--"Ah, well, we'll explain it later. Now, oh Great Lapin--Great Rabbit of the Mysterious Wood," he felt Lavi /cringe/--violently so--against his back--"Can you tell us where you told the nice coachmen to /go/? Or are you going to make us guess again? Because as far as I know, we aren't going towards our destination." He paused, just for the effect; Kanda was sure, "We're going away from it."
It was instantaneous. Out of nerves, Lavi clutched at Kanda and glanced at Polar openly-- from his hiding spot, he really didn't have much to fear, but-- if he honestly thought that Polar couldn't get him through Kanda, then he was obviously crazy.
To smooth it over, he stuck his tongue out, before-- laughing. With just the right amount of charm and apprehensive humor, just like a recipe.
"Well, of /course/ we're goin' the right way," Lavi said, "but it's just a little stop. In a nice little village on the France/Italy border, real calm and peaceful there." He took a few moments between sentences-- had Kanda always smelled this nice?-- "Because I want to enjoy the countryside a little before you lock me up again, y'see?"
He didn't mean it like it came out-- and if he did, he didn't mean for Polar to hear it that way. Not Polar, and /especially/ not Kanda, who /probably/ didn't even need to know what he already told him.
He looked at Polar-- kept looking at him, frowning occasionally, trying to get that amused look off his face if he could. Yeah, yeah, he was hanging all over Yuu-chan again, but that was nothing out of the ordinary, was it?
And with that same look on his face, he grabbed Kanda hard--- and actually snuggled.
Screw raised eyebrows and inquisitive looks. Rabbits needed comfort too, didn't they? Or was that something /else/ he wasn't supposed to touch?
Polar let out a sigh, not even caring to remind him that they were probably nowhere naer where he said they were. He even chose to--tactfully--ignore his phrasing, "Whatever you say Lapin-chan." the man frowned and he almost felt like laughing, "Now stop inhaling, ah--what's your name again?"
Kanda bristled, "Kanda."
He half expected the Baka-Usagi to cut him off, so, in a latch ditch attempt--he elbowed the man off him--using the leverage from the sudden turn the caravan took--to make the man not only get the fuck /off/ but to...nearly fucking fall out of the caravan itself when they were going downhill in the next /moment and--/
"Shit--" Before he could even say a word--he had turned around and grabbed the idiots--he cringed--/wounded/--hand--the man yelping out and--
"Baka--you need to clean that wound."
And then--and then--Polar noticed, "What wound?"
"N-Nee~ Yuu-chan~" Lavi whined, "Why you gotta be so mean? Because--- /damn/ that /hurts/."
And it really /did/ hurt, because ashes weren't exactly the best bandages, and Kanda had strong hands that squeezed too hard sometimes, and-- he looked up at Polar with an outstretched palm and an blank expression, because he was still waiting for the world to be right-side up again. He'd really been
tossed off of Kanda's person-- literally. For the first time in his life, and he was almost to the point of amusement with it.
Just a snuggle, and Kanda was ready to toss him out of a /caravan/.
And Polar was looking at him and it was kind of unnerving, to have those pale eyes on him all amusedly.
"But... yeah, I guess it prob'ly does," he said, a little thoughtfully, admiring the wound for himself. "It's not exactly clean, and.. y'know, this /is/ my writin' hand."
And then he looked at Kanda.
"Which prob'ly wouldn't be a problem if y'hadn't tried to kill me, nee~?"
Kanda frowned, but turned away--looking around the small caravan and what sparsely littered the floor. No cleaning supplies. What the /fuck?/
"Che for people who travel you don't have many medical supplies."
"Of course not." He turned to Polar who was frowning again and--and--suddenly he was shoved aside--and the man was /right up in Lavi's face/--he bristled, but the redhead didn't seem to mind it. Instead easily relinquishing his hand to the other--palm up to show the ash covered hand, "I'm the one who carries all of it," Polar continued as if he just realized he hadn't finished his sentence, glancing back only once at him before fishing around in one of the many coat pockets of his--
Really, really /really/ big jacket.....
and pulling out a vial full of clear liquid.
"This is going to sting." He warned, "But I supposed you already knew that." His lips twitched to a grin and Kanda watched-faintly amused--as the idiot cringed and the cork was removed--a little of the liquid easing out onto the wound.
And then Lavi howled--or tried to, but the sound was cut off--and--well-
That definitely /wasn't/ water, was it?
As hard as it was to speak around the sleeve of Polar's very long coat, Lavi squeezed his eyes shut, just a little bit grateful for it after all. Of /course/ it wasn't water, because with Polar, that was already a given. The man was smiling, although half-way, and that was enough for Lavi to assess that he was probably getting a kick out of this pain that had his closed eyes watering.
And Polar /was/ a sadist after all, wasn't he?
*Which made Lavi wonder what kind of hands he was in, but then again, he /knew/ Polar. Who, like Kanda, would probably cut off his leg if it /really/ came down to it.
Kanda. He looked up at him and forced a grin, winking at the man, driving him crazy until it was over. It was a funny distraction, after all-- what with him looking away and rolling his eyes and such. Of course he thought anything other than Spartan endurance was pointless, but that was just... Kanda being Kanda.
*And there really was no harm in that, was there? If he wasn't being.. well, overtly violent?
As soon as Polar allowed it, Lavi pulled away, effectively letting go the grip he'd held on the man's coat-- and almost laughed, looking at the bite marks he'd caused. He actually did once he saw the man's face.
"Mm, and that's what you get, nee?," he said, and, with a glance to Kanda, pinched Polar's nipple hard through his ruffled shirt. "And I'm givin' that to you in return, keep in mind, so /please/ tell me that got ya the /tiniest/ bit hard."
Kanda's eyes widened when the idiot started laughing--and they widened even /more/ at the--wait--wait /what?/ But Polar was laughing too--albiet a little more refined than the bellowed laughter that he'd grown so used to--no.
Just. No.
"Just from that?" Polar's laughter died but his lips remained tilted at the edges, smiling down at the redhead, "No. I just woke /up/ for Christ's sake. Don't think I'm that quick to jump in." Which he wasn't. Really. Grabbing onto Lavi's hand again, to inspect it, and pulling out a roll of bandages from the very same pocket, "Now then, it's been staralyzed, so now all that's left is bandaging. Will you start complaining? Or?" He turned to look up at the Japanese boy, "Do you want him to do it? Actually, I think you /should/ considering it seems you're the one at fault for this...wound anyway."
Then he promptly tossed the roll at Kanda, who caught it on reflex and scowled--suddenly--and rather abruptly--finding himself seated in front of the teasing redhead.
Well. Great.
Which wasn't to say that Lavi wasn't happy, because he was. He looked at Kanda in a way he reserved for times like these-- halting, and friendly, not willing to push the boundaries too much if Kanda was unwilling to help him. His green eye regarded him as a comrade (at least for now, for this singular moment) when later, he could yet again see him as something else, like an ex-Order buddy or a very-possible lover, if he could only persuade him to do so.
*He didn't disregard chance, though, despite the pitiful outcome of such a wager. Because no one was going to take Mugen's side in Kanda's bed anytime soon-- and not that Lavi had even been planning it. It'd just fallen in his head again as he looked at him, seeing all that sullen beauty and getting overwhelmed again, wondering why he hadn't attempted anything sooner.
*Before it was too late, that was. Before he had to return to where it all began, the same place where he would close his eyes and enter into a different life, a different world from the one Kanda would always inhabit.
"So Yuu," he said casually, holding out his spread palm as if he were expecting a shake of some kind. "Don't expect what Polar jus' got, either, because I'm not stupid enough to try it."
*He paused here, for dramatic effect, before:
"But if you do, you know I'd be more'n welcome to do it for ya. Y'get it?"
He gave him the familiar teasing smile again and reached out to brush dust off Kanda's gold-trimmed collar with his uninjured hand.
*"So bandage me up quick, nee? This wound is clean and wide open-- What if they stop the caravan an' find me dead, Yuu?" And for a moment there, he actually sounded /believably/ concerned.
An obviously loaded question, but Kanda was never the captain of such a complicated department.
Kanda stared down at the spread palm, frowning slightly at the expectant gesture--as if he'd be so damn kind to the idiot who--well it /was/ his fault but--
"Che" he gripped the hand much more gently than he'd normally allow, tugging it closer and--feeling the idiot /inhale/. Damned Rabbits--"Fine."
So he took the bandages and, well, bandaged. Wrapping the hand finely with the gauze first--and then having another round of bandages chucked at his head--he glared at the pale man, who whistled and sat crosslegged--watching them with knowing eyes--a hand resting on the gun resting against the wall.
With a cloth. /Cleaning/ it.
THen--Lavi started humming as well, hums turning to words, head bobbing back and forth slightly and--
"Shut. Up."
Lavi frowned, the words died.
But somehow that didn't help any.
And with the mood freshly killed, Lavi stared at Kanda now with a different feeling. Beneath them, the wheels of the carriage turned and lumbered over terrain, over plants and rocks alike-- they were taking a different path, he remembered, which pulled them temporarily off the dirt of the road that led straight to Italy, the trail worn as smooth as a pearl in the lavender countryside.
And Polar. Oh, /Polar/.
*Lavi gave him a pointed smile that read a lot of things-- confusion, amusement, gratitude. Not pain, because they were Bookman and weren't supposed to feel something that down-to-earth or human, but it /had/ to happen to more people than just himself.
Because if it didn't, then maybe he wasn't worthy of a title this big. If emotions could knock him for a loop so easily, in a way that--- Lavi inwardly cringed--- Kanda would find rather disgusting.
*Although, Kanda /had/ treated him kindly. He felt a tug at his palm and looked back at him, then down-- watching him tie the bandage and tuck it under, forcing Lavi's hand out of his in dismissal of his duty.
"Thanks a lot, Yuu~," Lavi murmured, lifting the hand up his face, admiring bandaged handiwork. Not bad work for someone who hardly needed them. "Guess I won't bleed out after all, nee?"
*He wondered, though, what Kanda would have done if he /did/, considering the man had completely skimped out on that question when he'd asked it. Polar, at least, would shown some concern (partly out of obligation, but the friendship was there), and then...
Well, there was Kanda.
*And that didn't make him feel much better, either, to feel as if he were nothing to him. Despite the fact that any other Bookman would be thrilled--- he wasn't. He just /wasn't/.
And that presented, in itself, a very big problem.
Polar pretended not to notice; really he did, when the paid expression flickered-ever so briefly-in that lone green eye. But it caught his interest enough-enough to, at the very least, give the Japanese a curisitory glance as they went off the main road, and onto a much rockier one-leading down to, he assumed, another quaint village on their tour of the border-ever closer (but not quite touching) their destination.
But he chose to hum again, instead, polishing his gun until it shined-until the silence got nearly overbearing and the cart slowed to a stop.
To the small village, nothing major-but familiar nonetheless. A trading post of sorts, but nothing like their own. It was good enough, though-to house them, at least for a night, their clan looked upon as saviors-though cruel-of a vastly different kind. They would be welcomed. This was as good a place as any.
But Kanda Yuu didn’t like it. Not that he liked many things, but it was irritating and the redhead was too damned quiet-giving him a look like for all the damned world he--/wasn’t supposed to care/--and that did something to his gut, as much as the fucking whining did. As much as the heated glare-Fuck religion. Thoroughly, but he would /not/ discard it. Not even when, with the last scathing glance-he nearly had something spilt on him, he was pretty sure it was hot wax-from the disdained look on Lavi’s face as he --/didn’t help/ but just watched.
Even when Polar said (with the same look of…blank disdain, but curiosity) quite adamantly, “There’s the Inn. Might as well stay there for the night-as long as they’ll take us.”
/Us/ was he /us/ now?
He hated the way his stomach churned, but he agreed-standing proudly as the door was held open-and more glares, in the lounge-esque lobby.
As the rooms were ordered-
As-As-
“How the /fuck/ did I get stuck with you?”
“Because you’re an Exorcist.” The answer had been point blank easy, “And from all the dirty looks you got-more than one person here might be an Akuma. If they attack in our sleep-at the very least Lavi’ll get out.”
Lavi looked like he could’ve choked from that.
And Kanda didn’t like it.
Several minutes later when Lavi was fiddling with the room key in his hand, standing in front of a mahogany door numbered 213-- and Kanda was nowhere in immediate sight, as he'd already figured--
... Well, this was probably the worst feeling of dissatisfaction he'd ever felt between two people, one of them being himself.
He'd almost choked, yes, but not from the thought of being in a room with Kanda. It was... /being/ in a /room/ with /Kanda/ that made him feel dizzy with the thought alone. He was overwhelmed by a messy reunion plus memories of years in which he'd probably just only been tolerated as a 'friend' by this guy, this Japanese prick-- He didn't want to agree with Allen, but Kanda really could be unpleasant sometimes.
*And he really didn't like thinking of it that way, anyway. Lavi found it most comforting to live inside his head when it came to Kanda, making it seem as if-- that glare he was giving him coming down the hallway right now was really something /affectionate/ in Japanese culture.
Which was complete and utter bullshit, so what or whom was he kidding?
*The key slid into the door and knocked open the deadbolt with a dull metallic grind. He pushed the door open and stood there, looking into space-- a single bed and a few scattered tables, two small red candles burning quietly on the nightstand.
Wait.
A single bed.
That would simply utterly completely not do.
/Polar/.
It was really for their benefit, he decided, as he tried very hard not to laugh his ass off. Which was kind of hard considering the look on the redhead's face--and the livid one on the swordsman's--both of which swithed to almost-neutrality with a few very easy twitches of muscles and lips and--
He managed his face into simple amusement, strolling across the short hall to peer in--Kanda hadn't seen it yet--no, but it was just the /fact/ and--
"What's up?" Lavi's eye narrowed as he stared at him--looking at Kanda (who was now right next to him) before dragging him into the room and smiling--too friendly--at Kanda--
Before slamming the door in his face.
It rang with a crack like thunder-- and outside, Lavi heard several doors open, several disembodied muffled voices floating on down the hall to investigate
Which meant that screaming or throwing furniture at Polar would probably only get them kicked out of the /only/ Inn that had even the /likelihood/ of welcoming them. Which was unfortunate, because in this situation, Lavi actually kinda felt like it.
And so he turned to him, and, with that same way-too-friendly smile on his face-- cleared his throat and grabbed his shoulders, effectively shaking him in the process.
*"What in the /hell/," he grinned, "are you tryin' to do to me, Polar? Do you really /want/ me to get my balls chopped off? Because really, just in case you were wonderin'--- /it almost worked/."
Polar's pale eyes betrayed nothing but amusement, and Lavi only stared at him, his grin slowly sliding off his face to display nothing but insane embarrassment.
"One bed? Seriously Polar-- a /single bed/? Next time, slip him a sex drug n' actually /try/, but /think/ about it next time ya put a damn/ target/ on my head, okay?"
"But I wasn't." Polar replied, easily enough, "All the beds in here are single--or didn't you pay attention?" Well maybe that was a bit of a lie. Okay. Not a bit. More like a lot--but--"What /I/ think is more important than /that/ is--you left him out in the hall." Because he had, "Not a very good idea, is it?" Because it wasn't--"The one you need to work it out with is Kanda. Not me."
He took two steps back (how far had he been dragged into the /room/?) and smiled at the baffled redhead--making sure his hand was on the doorknob before saying his next words--"And for the record, how would I slip a sex drug in his drink? Or were you planning a rendezvous at dinner?"
But before he could get an answer he had the door open and was out, smiling at the Japanese before swiftly making his way across the hall--effectively slamming and locking his own door--before waiting for the wrath to happen.
Or well, it wouldn’t but. He could see, couldn't he?
Lavi would've gladly shot after him to the next room if he hadn't heard all his locks snap shut-- incidentally, at the exact same moment he remembered he had a living, working body.
Because now the man had information and not just a notion, and Lavi had hysterically dumped it all into his lap in the few seconds he'd stood here in front of him.
Lovely. Just... /lovely/. And knowing Polar, now everything was going to be scrutinized.
And it seemed that the longer he stood there, the worse he felt. Out of anger, he tossed his canvas bag on the bed and tore his coat off as well, standing there in traveling clothes and trying to think of something, anything to resolve this current problem.
*Because he already knew, good and well, that Kanda would rather stand in a blizzard than sleep in the same bed as him, and now, sadly, unfortunately-- /so did Polar/.
And a rendezvous? /Really?/ It was obvious now that he was going to have to keep a close eye on everything Kanda drank, which, fortunately, wasn't very much at all.
But really. With Polar being Polar, he probably shouldn't have even given him that idea in the first place.
.....
/A rendezvous?/ As if he'd even..
"Fuck you," he grumbled without thinking, looking up-- and seeing Kanda staring at him, bewildered, in the open doorway.
*Well. He was /really/ going to have to thank Polar for this later, wasn't he?
"Um," Lavi said blankly, at a loss for anything and everything, "When I said that just now, I /really/ didn't mean Yuu, okay?"
Kanda just stared--stared at the awkward redhead by the lone bed--watching his fingers fidget in a way he wasn't used to ('Lavi' never did that, but then was this guy really 'Lavi' anymore? He had been--wait. No. Don't go there).
"Che, You wouldn't live long enough." He decided instead, carefully unbuttoning his Exorcist Jacket and draping it across one of the small chairs--thinking for a moment, before taking Mugen and placing it across the small table.
Then he turned back to the idiot, who was still staring--quite adamantly--at the bed, then the door--"What did he say?" The words were out before he could stop them but, well, it wasn't nothing. Not that he cared.
"Eh, just that it wasn't /his/ fault and that the beds are apparently like this, or whatever," Lavi said, sounding a little tired-- he looked at Kanda and gave him a look, although he wasn't entirely certain what it contained.
Kanda didn't say anything, either, so he sat and watched him do nothing, his shining jacket arranged over the back of a chair, Mugen on the table for once and out of his grip. He wondered briefly if maybe too much time had passed and that they'd been pushed to opposite sides, but since they'd /always/ had this kind of communication problem.
Lavi sighed, shifting where he stood-- he didn't have to think about it if he didn't want to, but that didn't mean it wasn't going to /hang around/.
*"So um," he began, reaching over casually and lifting the jacket he'd practically ripped off earlier from his bed. He spoke while looking at other things, like the maroon linen quilt there and the few small things that were falling out of his discarded bag, like colorful pens and pencils, a few dull pieces of tarnished, loose change from Europe.
"Dinner starts in fifteen minutes, y'know," he offered, pulling an arm into his jacket, eyes averting his-- then giving up, and letting them rest there. Even so, he remained uneasy and avoidant.
*"And since you're my bodyguard, I guess that obligates you to go, but I'm not givin' you orders. I /know/ better."
Kanda frowned at that. Body Guard--since when had he? /Fuck/--"Che, I'm not your damned bodyguard anyway." The redhead turned to him, looking a bit quizzical and crestfallen but damned if he actually felt either emotion. Damned if he felt them himself--Kanda let out a sigh, running a hand over Mugens hilt.
Innocence. Promises. He was a /General/ now, if Lavi didn't fucking know that then he truly /was/ an idiot--so he repeated it, silently, gripping Mugen's hilt--before turning to look back at the redheads face.
Concern (as much as he could have, Kanda assumed) and understanding. /Fuck/ he hated when he was understanding.
"What?" the redhead chuckled and shook his head, turning back to the bed to fiddle with the comforter they would have to--/goddamn/ share. The last person he had shared a bed with was Lenalee--and that was out of pure necessity and it had brought him absolute /hell/ for it later. Which he didn't want to remember. Pointedly.--
But this was the idiot. It was only for one damned night (he hoped) and--che--if the idiot expected anything more then--well--he'd have
*to prove him otherwise. It was just that simple.
Or not.
Not when the redhead opened his mouth and actually /answered/ him.
"You mean to say," Lavi began-- and by now he was slipping his other arm into his sleeve, turning around to face Kanda directly-- "You haven't started askin' yourself anything about this town yet?"
Random, yes, but also very opportune. At least, he liked to think of it that way instead of negatively. He only laughed because it was quick to fill an empty room up, and besides-- the way Kanda had been looking at Mugen was so..
Well, intense, and probably even a little concerned. It had never made sense to him why Mugen got better treatment than the majority of /human beings/ did, but.. he figured that was just favoritism in action.
Bookmen knew a lot about favoritism, after all. Considering anything outside of their clan was an insect meant for studying, but..
That was just another thing he didn't like thinking about, so he turned to Kanda and offered up a grin, hoping for some meaningless conversation from its least possible origin /ever/.
"That wax on your jacket, those dirty looks-- c'mon, Yuu," he laughed, "I figured you'd have at least asked /me/ a question by now. Then again, why would you care for a town that means /nothin'/ to you, right?"
Kanda's eyes narrowed as he watched the idiot grin at him--lips stretched wide, fake and--"Why the fuck would I ask you /questions/? Che, you should know." He turned to look out the lone (covered and dirty) window in the room, "The Order is nice to those who succumb and the rest can just rot in whatever fucking hell they came up with."
WHen he turned back to look at the rabbit, he felt almost satisified, "You'd know a lot about /that/ wouldn't you?" He wondered--watching the redhead's face pale, and slack (as much as allowed, he guessed)--before letting out a sigh and picking up his jacket, debating for about half a second, playing with the gold buttons, before lifting it from the chair and slipping it back on.
And as he donned it, Lavi looked for some kind of self-affirmation in his face-- some sign that let him know that maybe this was what he told himself but not what he /believed/, but-- nothing. He'd learned a long time ago to expect that much from Kanda's limited expressionism, that he really couldn't trust the surface in the first place and that, underneath everything, Kanda was no closer to telling him from the day before.
Or the year before, in this case. As he stared at him, Lavi's grin took on a harder edge before it disappeared completely, and by the time he reached the door, he felt just as plain-faced as Bookman had always been. Emotions clouded your head, after all, and it was better this way, to project more than a casual accent and a friendly demeanor to the world.
*He laughed.
Only a little, but it was a dry and rueful sound, and he was familiar enough with Kanda to know when he was probably glaring.
Which he was.
"A lot, yes," he admitted, "and a lot more in everything else that you'll probably never even know about. The Black Order isn't the only dead place in this world. Of course, a narrow-minded dog like yourself would never get out of the cage enough to understand that, so I can hardly blame you."
He turned to smile at him, sadly, already knowing from Lavi that Kanda couldn't /stomach/ the thought of pity.
"My," he added, green eye looking at him full-on-- "Being off your leash like this must be /heavenly/ for you, right? And what exactly have you even done to deserve it?"
He watched something darken in the other man's eyes, and Lavi was pressing him, warning him-- "/Don't push it/," he was saying, a little frantic, his voice like caged birds and broken sunlight.
Kanda’s eyes widened, then narrowed in nearly the same motion. /Don’t push it? Push what?/ He looked back down at Mugen, clenching his fist, “That…isn’t something I should tell a /Bookman/ is it?” His eyes flashed and met the idiot’s own-dark obsidian against fresh cut emerald-what the /fuck/ no-“Since when did you get up on a fucking high horse?” The smirk was a bit unsettling-the look too-it felt like something crumbling just out of reach.
A frayed end.
A memory to go by that was foggy to begin with.
/Goddammit/.
He turned swiftly on his heel toward the door-hand held suspended over the doorknob-heavy breathing-the creak of wood-and then he was gone. Leaving, he was sure, a livid redhead behind.
And he wouldn’t ask.
Title: Cradle (this won't change like BR's did)
Rating: NC-17 as a whole (due to violence/possible lemons), but T for this chapter
Summary: With Bookman's death, and the Earl's disappearance, lives have changed: Lavi--on a course back to the Bookman Clan, and Kanda--having risen to the rank of General. But what happens when, in a drastic turn of events, these two lives meet once more?
Pairing(s): eventual LaviYuu, hintings of Cross x Allen/14th (LATER),and onesided Lenalee x Allen (when they show up--again LATER)
A/N: In case anyone's confused, this takes place roughly one year after the events in the canon timeframe. Probably not correct, but it's easier to deal with this way XD. Also yes, this is all we have up (this is the raw-format, obviously). This probably WILL go up on FF.net at some point. But not until we do some editing and such. *nod* oh yes but--PLZ COMMENT, I wanna hear what people like of this idea? *considering I've had it around since forever* it was just too big for me to take on myself.
WARNINGS: implied shounen-ai/UST, language, violence, mentions of drinking, sex drugs, mild case of Level 5 Lavi*no one's supposed to get this yet and I think that's it for this chapter?
Um...other than that:
Lavi played by Meggle_star
Kanda & Polar played by Me
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Cradle, the place where it begins…
***************************************************************************************
Kanda decided a bit belatedly that maybe this hadn't been such a good idea--when his back connected sharply with the jagged point of a building teetering on the edge of collapsing. Dangerously close to burying him--as he caught his footing and pushed away--kicking up dust, debris, and wondering why the hell people were still /here/--didn't they fucking know what /Akuma/ were by now? The Black Order had done their fucking job hadn't they? Or should he have really--no...no...Mugen burned in his grip, as he sliced through the oncoming sea of Level Ones and Twos--he would /not/ go back there. Not after that.
He had better things to do. He'd rather /do them/ while he still had the damned time to. Before they tied their damned leash too tight and tugged him back--he'd never say it to the man directly, but he was grateful to Komui for being so lenient. For pushing his case. He wiped blood from the edge of his mouth, feeling the tattoo burn against his chest as small wounds healed instantaneously and the akuma exploded in flourish around him.
He felt his lips twitch into a familiar, but grim smirk--when the explosions stopped (a few moments later, yes, heh--this was so easy now) and the dust settled on what was once a town of some sizable accont. Enough for a train to pass through. Enough for--he cringed--people to still be standing around like idiots--crushed by fallen debris, or loved ones, broken and mangled.
He let out a sigh, and ground out--to one girl, small, crying over the limp form of her mother, "Get up." The girl's eyes widened, "Go. Leave. She's dead." The girl's lips moved soundlessly, and Kanda half wondered if it was too late. Half wondered how the hell the General's did this--how the hell /Tiedoll/ did it--but now wasn't the time for that.
"Leave," He said again, and the girl teetered, staring once more at the lifeless form of her mother--almost shaking her head, but halting the movement, "Didn't you hear me /leave/. This is no place for you." He didn't want to. He really didn't want to but--"Your mother is /dead/." He took a few steps to the lifeless body, feeling for the pulse he knew wasn't there, "See? Now go. She wouldn't want you to end up
*like her."
Though he doubted the girl would believe him, and he hated the small twinge caused because of it. Even when he brandished his sword--and fear lit her eyes--she still wouldn't budge.
/Why the fuck do I care anyway?/ He spat on the ground next to the dead body and sighed, "Fine. Don't believe me." And he turned away.
Turned away--as he heard the sobs begin to break out--or--or--he assumed so.
Until he felt a small hand grip his jacket, and looked down. Big, grey eyes staring up at him--/Goddammit/--He almost didn't move Mugen fast enough--/Already? But /how/?/ He didn't want to know that either as the poor girl transformed--easily--but he didn't let her get that far--
Slitting her throat was easy. Too easy.
But the queasy feeling in his stomach wasn't.
/Goddammit/ But he would turn away like always. On this dusty road in search of that one person--he was an Exorcist. That was his job. His heart clenched a little at that--"My...job...."
He turned away to look as the body of the young girl crumbled into pieces, on the dusty ground, and sighed.
"Of course." and turned away again
--
He was running, and running still. Even if it was true, and even if it wasn't-- at least he had hope to run, and not just obligation. It was the difference between now and later, the here and the future--
Him. And if he wasn't at the end of this, then what reason did he have for even trying?
Out of all the things he liked doing better, wringing answers out of civilians definitely wasn't one of them. The man was too shaken to say anything, really, or maybe too bored-- he stared off at nothing in particular and made Lavi turn to look over his own shoulder a number of times, with eyes focusing and snapping back to attention at a rate that bewildered the redhead. Even if he was good with people, that was only something he'd acquired over time, over years of manipulation and practiced observance. And unfortunately, all this only made it that much harder to work with the almost-insane.
*"Nee, so that's all you saw? Just some guy, dashin' around and causin' explosions?"
*Again, the man didn't answer. It was like keeping something afloat, the way he was supporting him-- and other were peering over wreckage to look at him, suspiciously, which made him feel pressed with time he didn't have.
*Even with this information, Lavi was bored. Because that exact explanation correlated exactly with his former life (if he could even say that anymore) with Black Order as an Exorcist. It just didn't--
*Wait.
*"Y'mean--" Lavi began, and he took the man's shoulders in a gentle grip as he looked at him, gaze firm, "You actually saw someone killin' them? "
*And Lavi hardly had time to chide himself for old habits, things already undone and lost to time and memory, when the man [actually] looked up at him with pale eyes paralyzed with fear, and /nodded/.
*"With a sword," the man added, voice hallow."A chokuto or something of the like."
*Something cracked.
*"Description-- you got something? Anything?" His hands wouldn't hold still and the sick urge to shake him was welling up, but he swallowed it all with his apprehension. His fear his desperation his hopefulness. All the other things he'd grown numb to in the months he'd been away.
He turned to leave as quickly as his mind was set, and he glanced at the others briefly as he walked away. "I'm not a threat," he called, his voice echoing off ravaged tin and splintered wreckage. They seemed to trust him enough in his, at least, as they surrounded the broken one and shielded him from their surroundings, hands touching and pressing, forming a protective net of bodies.
And Lavi shook his head, and kept on walking.
"Black hair. Sharp eyes."
And Lavi turned around and looked at him, and he wanted to see something meaningful in that gaze. But all he saw was truth, and that was all he needed to take off again.
His boots tore at the ground, ripping up dirt that had long settled and plants that had taken root. This trail of destruction had to end somewhere, after all, and he couldn't count on insanity to find it for him. And when he finally stopped, he looked upward without thinking and caught an all-too-familiar face-- much too familiar, just as he was much too close. He could even see the look of regret flash across the other's face as he drew that sword and, in what seemed like less than second, artfully slid the blade across the young girl's throat.
She fell with the sound of crumbling earth, dying ashes, and Lavi stepped right over them without thinking.
He was right there. So close, his hand was reaching out and his name was right on his lips, but--
Kanda hadn't been expecting it, when the ground began to quake underneath him, and for a dreadful second he wondered if he had truly killed that girl behind him--but--she was only a level one! It shouldn't have--
He barely had time to whip his head around--to ready Mugen when he saw a flash of red hair, and his skin was cutting real flesh, not Akuma--and--he gasped--/Fuck/!
And Mugen skittered away, the flash of red hair--the familiar green eye--and the /blood/ mixing with both--it was just his hand. Just his hand. Not deep--he wanted to tell himself that as he tried to register--the man yelping in pain--as the last few buildings collapsed to the ground around them--
/Fuck fuck fuck/
"/La...vi/....?" The man was tipping forward, pressing against him, his name on his lips as blood smeared against his Exorcist Jacket (Gold instead of Silver--Tiedoll had been so proud. So. Damn. Proud) as they hit the ground, rubble digging into his back with an /oof/--weight above him nearly crushing--
And then the man said his name.
"/Yuu/-chan?"
It was more of a gasp, really, to try to gather his surroundings again and contain everything he was feeling right now-- and blood flow, too. The bright red mess dripping from his palm, thin rivulets twisting down the side of his wrist-- pooling all over the gold material of Kanda's jacket. His bright gold /General's/ jacket, and /that/ was the part that really got him talking.
Because this honest-to-God really /was/ him. Was /Kanda./
And he was seriously bleeding all over his shiny clothes, which warranted death in usual situations.
*"Nee~ nee, Yuu-chan~," he laughed nervously, his hand having already been cut on accident-- he didn't want anything purposeful. "You're not gonna kill me yet, right? I mean, since we just now ran into each other 'n all."
Looking into the man's speechless face was crazy, almost gratifying. All sharp-eyed and pale-skinned, neat black hair in its usual style, thin dry lips that never kissed-- all of it. It was like seeing a picture and noticing that nothing had changed, except.. in actuality, it somehow had. He just couldn't put his finger on it in all his excitement.
And that's when Kanda realized. He had a bleeding mess of a rabbit in his arms. Grinning at him--staring at him--in awe--in--something and--he couldn't find the words. But Kanda Yuu was never speechless, and certainly never in the face of idiot rabbits who liked to bleed all over him--but--but--
"Baka," he covered the man's bleeding hand with his own, noting his wince and almost--almost feeling that twinge, "Dead? I'm surprised you /aren't/. Why the fuck are you /here/?"
It hadn't exactly been what he meant to say, but the idiot was grinning so widely--so like /Lavi/--but hadn't he said before he left that he wasn't anymore?
Well, the idiot sure could fool him, if that smile was anything to go by, and if the series of rambles right afterward were anything to go by (and /shit/ he was bleeding too much. Too much--they needed to /move/ didn't they?)
"Because," Lavi began, and he found it hard to speak here with all the words forming at once in his mind, bubbling out with absolutely no provocation-- "Because I'm goin' back to the Bookman Base, but I got sidetracked. So I was out here, y'know, asking people about this Akuma attack, and this guy was really out of it but I was askin' him anyway, see, since none of the others would even get near me, and--"
It was then that he hit a realization. Not only was he bleeding all over Kanda, he was also sitting on him, and just because Kanda hadn't drawn his sword didn't mean that he wasn't about to. He dared to press his hand to his forehead for a moment, only a moment-- then withdrew it as he grinned at him, climbing off to sit next to him in the dust.
*"Well damn, I guess you /are/ real, nee?," he said, drawing out more words, more sentences-- "And since I'm not dreaming or anything, I guess that means I can keep on talking. Since I know you love my voice and all," he added, unable to keep himself from grinning like the idiot Kanda thought he was.
On impulse, he pressed his hand into the ashes as he spoke. "But yeah. He said somethin' about a
*guy with sharp eyes, dark hair-- of course, you're the only person I know with that profile."
Kanda raised his eyebrow at that, "There are survivors?" He looked back towards the dead body of that girl's mother, "Che. That's....good." he really didn't want to sound relieved, nor did he--well--he supposed he...sort of cared. Fuck--he didn't need to give a report of /another/ village burned to the ground and it's inhabitants turned to ash.
And Lavi--that /idiot/--"Che, distracted? You never change do you?" The flicker in the man's lone green eye slightly startled him, but not as much as it should--he had grown accustomed. Or he liked to think he did, as he stood on shaky legs and reached down to pick up Mugen--thankfully it hadn't slid as far as he had thought, as he sheathed it and turned back to the redhead, who was currently attempting to stand--
"Don't fucking let go of your hand. You want it to bleed anymore?" He asked, bitterly, watching the idiot as he tried to do just that--only to fall over. Though he succeeded on the second try and Kanda had to wonder if it was just some sort of act, "Are you ready?" he asked, pushing those thoughts away, "I'll bring you back to...
*wherever the hell you were." Wherever the hell /that/ was, "There might be Akuma still lurking around." and from the looks of it--no--of course the man didn't have his Innocence. Why would he have something that connected him so intimately to his previous life? Kanda scoffed at the notion--
Why had he even thought it?
"Survivors, yeah. But as for Akuma," Lavi said, taking great pains to stand up again, "..Well, that's also a big possibility. I mean, the town was pretty much wiped out, y'know?"
The ashes on his hand felt good, he thought, studying it as he sat frozen in a crouch. Just another helpful thing that Bookman had taught him, another outdoor medical thing he could do if he had nothing but himself and a fire. Just make sure they're cold first, he remembered Bookman saying, or you'll only be an idiot without his first layer of skin.
One of the first things Bookman had said to him, maybe. Certainly not the last, because.. the last had been to leave the Order and take this journey, after all, to the land where he /actually/ belonged.
*And it was strange, that the emptiness he wasn't supposed to feel was still there. He wondered how Bookman died like he did-- no expression, no kind words, but there was still a little sadness there.
And maybe a little unmentioned regret, but that was none of Lavi's concern.
*He stood unsteadily and reached out towards something invisible to balance himself. Once he was up, he took in a deep breath and held up his unburnt hand, first pointing at Kanda, then letting his eyes trace his finger in the direction he was looking towards.
"About a mile this way, give or take," Lavi guessed, and looked at Kanda with a convincing smile. "And since you're comin' with me, we'd better get movin' before they leave us. ..Or me, at least. But it'd be bad either way, nee?"
Kanda mutely nodded his head, and turned to the direction Lavi had pointed (which--it made sense--it was directly from where he had come, so....), keeping a hand firmly on Mugen's hilt as Lavi wobbled procariously in front of him, hand dirtied with--were those ashes?--as they made their way around fallen buildings, branches, and towards the east side of the city, which (from what Kanda could see) still contained more buildings than this side had.
He half wondered if it was his fault, but shoved that thought aside (it didn't matter as long as the Akuma were held at bay), sighing and watching smoke curl from the distance--
And Lavi? Fuck, it almost felt like old times.
Because he would /not/ shut /up/.
"Y'know," he said, trying hard to make conversation, "I can't really even tell how far we are from there. No depth perception." And at this, he pointed at his single green eye, hoping Kanda would get the joke for once.
"A-And that was a joke, nee?," he added, just in case it went over his head as usual. "I /do/ have an eye, but.. y'know. It kinda doesn't work when covered n' all."
Kanda blinked at him, for a moment, and just--well--/What kind of joke was that/? He turned away and 'Che'd', picking up his pace despite his foot twinging ever so slightly, with each step. He figured it must have been broken at one point, but ignored it. It was healing, so it didn't matter.
But he could tell the idiot didn't like it one bit. He was trailing behind now and that--/that/--"Che idiot, you know where they are. I don't." his eyes narrowed, "And if you have an /eye/ under that eye patch then why the fuck don't you use it?"
Not that he really cared.
"Why the fuck don't I use it, eh?" Lavi gave him an amused glance, pressing a finger to the eyepatch in question, because-- "I don't think I could tell you even if I wanted to."
Bookman protocol, yadda yadda. It was always the same old thing, but Kanda, oh Kanda-- he would be the one to ask him why. And it almost pained him that he couldn't share it, but there were worse things, he figured.
*Like getting such an eye in the first place, but that would be giving too much away, now, wouldn't it?
Kanda frowned, shook his head, and turned away--continuing to walk and not even caring if the idiot kept up this time. It would be his own fault if a damn Akuma came up and attacked them. Though he knew he would draw enough of them just on his own, with his Exorcist jacket, bloody but still wearable.
He hoped it stayed like for a while. Not that it mattered. Or--it did but--
"Che, hurry up!" Not that he cared, but it did make him hurry up--and soon they were walking side by side.
Silent, but still side by side.
And soon--soon Lavi was leading the way again, and--raising his unwounded hand to wave at someone--/Who was....?/
"Ah, /there/ you are." It was a forgettable face, wearing what looked like an oversized tunic--bandages covering his arms, and scars on nearly every inch of available skin. Kanda tensed immdeiately, but the man didn't even seem to notice him--as he walked up--eyes turned to completely focus on the redhead, "Where did you run off to--Bookma--"
But Lavi cut him off, with a violent flourish of hands, an easy excuse falling from between his lips.
*"It's nothing, really. We only got sidetracked, is all, but if we leave now then we should get there on schedule." He gave the man a smile-- nothing like the grin he gave Kanda, not even close. It had more edge to it than any smile he would've given /anyone/ at the Black Order.
Something reminiscent of shark's teeth, maybe, but he wasn't calling himself out on it.
"Gather all this up," he said and as he spoke, he gestured sharply to the ground where other Bookman escorts sat. "All this blankets, get everything put away so we can depart. Now."
When he turned back, he looked at Kanda. Only briefly, and only for a few seconds, but he looked at him, and it lingered. All too soon he was looking at Michaelis again, and he was placing his hand on his tattered shoulderpiece, squeezing a little for emphasis.
"Your time wasted is my time wasted, after all," he whispered. "And I don't like that one bit. Not at all."
Kanda watched as the man nodded his head, a bit stiffly--everyone stiffly, moving, shifting blankets, folding with a percision that looked too inhuman to be normal. It made his gut clench in an overly familiar way--but he said nothing, watching as the men packed their bags (their weapons) and the scarred man led the way, through the rubble, exact percision--and his eyes found Lavi's again, for a split second.
"Hn," the man deflated, "What? You expect me to go with you?"
"Expect, no," Lavi decided, shifting his bag onto the arm of another escort-- eyes all too easily settling on Kanda's. "But I assumed that you would, hence the collectiveness. Because any other day, I feel that you'd have already left, but-- who knows. Maybe people change, /nee?/"
*An accident and he /knew/ it, and Michaelis was glaring him down from ten feet away-- damn it. "Not for your ears, Miccy. Mind your own business, would ya? Just this once, pretty please?"
And Lavi looked at Kanda again, briefly, in a bored sort of way-- he was no stranger to trading faces, but this got tiresome after a while.
*"Truthfully," he lied, "I don't care what y'do, but you'd better think fast if y'wanna come with us. Because we're leavin' here in a second or two, and I can't waste much more time than I have."
A moment of silence, and--- "Michaelis. For the love of God, let me be a 19-year old again for five seconds. You know how much I /love/ talking like I've got a rod up my ass all the time."
*Back to Kanda with a mostly-genuine grin. "Y'got it? So what's it gonna be, Yuu-chan?"
Kanda watched the exchange with a certain amount of....not confusion. He wasn't confused but, it wasn't as if he hadn't expected this, in any case, as he shifted and felt Mugen's weight on his back--his only possession currently. Contents ruined or in safe havens elsewhere.
"Che, are any of them Exorcists?" Lavi gave him a knowing look, knowing and nearly scathing, "Then I'll go. You're idiots if you think you're traveling in an area unguarded." A few of the men turned their heads at that, at the association, but quickly turned away--piling into the carivans--three--dangling with objects he hadn't quite seen before.
They headed for the first cart--Lavi sitting on the back--waving rudely before entering--and beckoning Kanda inside.
He barely got two feet in before his hand fell on cool metal and he saw--Lavi--bemusedly pinching some poor man's nose. Kicking them in the shin a moment later--and--
They still didn't wake up.
/What/?
Thoroughly amused with himself, Lavi walked his fingers up the bridge of the man's pale nose, tugged lightly at his eyelids-- even pulled his ears at one point, but when all none of this failed, he was content to pull random strands of fine, pale hair as consolation.
He looked at Kanda, didn't swallow his laughter at all-- in any case, he'd better get it out before getting around Michaelis again, that man and his rules and--
"What?" he finally asked, because seeing Kanda so bewildered was a rarity. "Nothin' like this'll wake him up, not a chance."
*The cart bumped a little beneath them, and for a moment, Lavi felt weightless. But not even the shock of gravity shook the man awake, and by this point-- "C'mon, Polar, or I'll tell Yuu-chan here what a girly-man ya are. How you dance around in dresses an' stuff when no one's around."
*Still nothing. And Lavi was howling with laughter now, his ribs aching, sure that 'Yuu-chan' had already deemed him mentally insane.
"See? Still nothin'. It's damn hilarious!"
Kanda's eyes narrowed, warily, as Lavi continued to 'mess with' the sleeping man (Polar? He had called him Polar--what kind of name was /that/?)--tugging harsher at strands of hair, tugging at the scarf, sleeves, but never removing the articles of clothing.
Kanda was at least somewhat grateful the man was deciding to be /decent/. But he frowned none the less, sitting back as the cart went up over another patch of bumpy road--and unstrapping Mugen--trying to lay it, as carefull as he could--onto the floor next to him. Next to that gun.
But, then, suddenly the, cart tilted violently, and Mugen slid--along with the gun--against the farside wall.
/thump/
"Gah!" Kanda didn't get a chance to widen his eyes before he was being violently kicked in the side, where a wound was still in the beginning stages of healing--he yelped and--
Then--
"/Lavi/!" A heavy accented voice (french?) greated him as he hissed, and the sound of a very solid body hitting wood came to his ears and suddenly, somehow, Lavi was crawling overtop him, behind him, using him as a shield--and a gun--handheld--was pointed at his face.
Oh. Great.
He was holding onto Kanda tight, tighter than the man probably liked, not that he would've liked it /anyway/, but he /did/ have a gun trained on him, capturing the majority of his attention, and--
--Wrong time for this, definitely, but Kanda's hair still smelled like soap. As in, the bars that lined the rocks in the bathhouse at the Order. Being the opportunistic rabbit that he was, he pushed--
his shield outward a little more so he could comfortably sit behind him. A feat that would've been easier if Kanda wasn't holding himself as stiff as always.
"G'mornin!," he said to Polar brightly, one arm at Kanda's side. "I was practically doin' community service there, y'know? People waste a lot of their lives while asleep, so think of it as a favor!"
Polar frowned, eyes narrowing, "Community Service. Of course. Right." He didn't lower the gun. He made it a point not to. Not even the--well--/who/ was this? "And who are you?"
Kanda growled, almost wishing he had Mugen in his grip, at least to defelect the blade, but he was stockstiff--something he wasn't usually, no, he needed to be able to /move/ and /move--goddammit/--he elbowed Lavi in the ribs but the man still held firmly at his waist.
"I should fucking ask /you/ that." But he didn't say lower his gun becuase if he did the man might shoot and--his jacket was open. He saw two others. What the /fuck/? Was he a gun freak?
He looked back at Lavi. Pointedly. Explanation was in order. Maybe introduction.
Lavi grinned. A lot. Not sure if it was from Kanda's glare or Polar's weapon(s), but something in him loosened the words he'd originally meant to say-- and so he did, feeling rather pinned.
So, being rabbit-like as he was, he wriggled a little closer and squeezed Kanda hard, practically /feeling/ his annoyance.
"This guy, right here," he said, speaking directly into Kanda's ear-- "Is Polar.--
*And he's actually a lot tougher than I just played 'im up to be, so I wouldn't try a repeat of what you just saw.. if /I/ were you."
He looked up at the paler man now and smiled, indicating the man he was clinging to. "And this is Yuu-chan from the Black Order. He's a swordsman, though, and prob'ly wouldn't know a firearm from a hole in the ground."
Kanda's eyes widened, and he turned to glare at the idiot behind him--or...tried to--"What the /fuck/--is that supposed to mean?" Lavi simply giggled, which didn't make a crapload of sense--not that he expected him to, "Che. I'm a General in the Black Order," He stated, turning back to Polar, who was now looking at them both, amused, "an Exorcist. If you don't have one on board then--you're fucking insane."
Because they were. Really.
Polar sighed, lowering his gun, "Y/es/ I've heard of the Black Order--who hasn't?" He looked the Japanese up and down, then his eyes skittered over towards the blade resting against wall still, "That's your Innocence?" He completely lowered his gun now, tucking it safetly back into its holster, "BEcause you're right--none of us are Exorcists. and we may as well be a bunch of idiots too--for coming out this far into their territory." His eyes focused on the redhead, "Not quite sure /who/ to blame it on, not that I can really--after all--" and then--oddly--he smiled. It was polite, and well mannered, and nothing unlike one of the Moyashi's Poker Face's
*he had put up once upon a time--when he had cared enough tobe around the guy on a daily basis.
"After all, it isn't like you to want to go back immediately--that place has never been kind to you." Kanda felt the redhead tense behind him, and one glance--one glance--but--the redhead wouldn't let him look at him. No. He had buried his face into his back, for some reason and--/goddammit/--
"/Baka/." He hoped the man would respond.
Even with the provocation, Lavi didn't feel like lifting his head up to look at him. Not really, after Polar had gone and brought it up again, because honestly, he'd /almost/ forgotten about it when he'd seen Yuu-chan's face for the first time in a while.
But forgetting wasn't part of his job, at least, not when it got right down to it, outside of the trivial people he met, changing places and faces and all that. But that honestly wasn't the point here.
Only remembering, and remembering /only/. Which, as it was, a very bitter pill to swallow.
"Y'see, Yuu-chan~" he began, and it took him a moment to sift through his words, to peek into his own large vocabulary-- "I'm under orders. And not from the Black Order, mind you, but I gotta go back. To.. where it all began, I guess. Not for
*me, I mean, but for the Bookman Clan."
And with a bit of uncertain laughter, he added, "Not that it concerns you, but the help's appreciated. Prob'ly more than you know or care to think about."
He settled his chin on Kanda's shoulder and looked at Polar for what felt like a very long time, wondering if maybe he was playing it up a bit. If maybe there was tact involved for mentioning it in front of Yuu-chan, but... maybe not.
"In any case," he said, in a voice colorless and very uncharacteristic of himself, "this goes on for a few days. We just gotta get across this stretch of Europe 'n all, and then we're clear."
Without thinking-- or maybe he was, and was just looking for comfort-- he squeezed him. Tight.
And he'd be damned if Polar didn't raise an eyebrow.
Kanda scowled as the idiot squeezed even harder around his waist--what the--? And--
"Che, and how much longer is crossing 'this stretch of Europe'?" Because he had a distinct feeling it might take quite a while and well, fuck it if he cared but--he elbowed the man in the ribs again, "You're fucking insane if you think the Akuma are just /here/."
"Well aren't we all a little insane?" his eyes turned up to Polar--who was looking at them both....almost amused. Almost. But for no damned reason, "So I guess you'll be sticking with us a while. Hope you don't mind." He held out his hand--gloved and proper, again reminding him of white haired beansprouts who tried to smile when they fucking shouldn't and made people /worry/--but he shoved the thought of the other Exorcist from his mind (or would he be a General now? He didn't know. Ever since the Earl disappeared, they hadn't kept such a close surveillance on him--so he assumed that meant moving him up in the ranks like he....rightfully deserved, as much as he fucking hated to admit it). He wouldn't be going by there any time soon. He didn't /want/ to. he had told himself that. This came first. /Then/ he'd go back--to crying Tiedoll's Moyashi's, and a picture that wouldn't quite be as perfect as it was before--
"Well?" He jolted out of the memory enough to turn his head, and the man quickly retracted his hand, "Quite the friendly one, aren't you? Though I suppose that's just as well. It would be worse if you were friendly." He watched the man again, turn his gaze to his blade, "Picking up the sword--any weapon--I suppose it does that to you. Doesn't it?"
And for some goddamn reason it sounded like he wasn't just talking to him. Like he was talking about--/all/ of them--and--"Ah, well, we'll explain it later. Now, oh Great Lapin--Great Rabbit of the Mysterious Wood," he felt Lavi /cringe/--violently so--against his back--"Can you tell us where you told the nice coachmen to /go/? Or are you going to make us guess again? Because as far as I know, we aren't going towards our destination." He paused, just for the effect; Kanda was sure, "We're going away from it."
It was instantaneous. Out of nerves, Lavi clutched at Kanda and glanced at Polar openly-- from his hiding spot, he really didn't have much to fear, but-- if he honestly thought that Polar couldn't get him through Kanda, then he was obviously crazy.
To smooth it over, he stuck his tongue out, before-- laughing. With just the right amount of charm and apprehensive humor, just like a recipe.
"Well, of /course/ we're goin' the right way," Lavi said, "but it's just a little stop. In a nice little village on the France/Italy border, real calm and peaceful there." He took a few moments between sentences-- had Kanda always smelled this nice?-- "Because I want to enjoy the countryside a little before you lock me up again, y'see?"
He didn't mean it like it came out-- and if he did, he didn't mean for Polar to hear it that way. Not Polar, and /especially/ not Kanda, who /probably/ didn't even need to know what he already told him.
He looked at Polar-- kept looking at him, frowning occasionally, trying to get that amused look off his face if he could. Yeah, yeah, he was hanging all over Yuu-chan again, but that was nothing out of the ordinary, was it?
And with that same look on his face, he grabbed Kanda hard--- and actually snuggled.
Screw raised eyebrows and inquisitive looks. Rabbits needed comfort too, didn't they? Or was that something /else/ he wasn't supposed to touch?
Polar let out a sigh, not even caring to remind him that they were probably nowhere naer where he said they were. He even chose to--tactfully--ignore his phrasing, "Whatever you say Lapin-chan." the man frowned and he almost felt like laughing, "Now stop inhaling, ah--what's your name again?"
Kanda bristled, "Kanda."
He half expected the Baka-Usagi to cut him off, so, in a latch ditch attempt--he elbowed the man off him--using the leverage from the sudden turn the caravan took--to make the man not only get the fuck /off/ but to...nearly fucking fall out of the caravan itself when they were going downhill in the next /moment and--/
"Shit--" Before he could even say a word--he had turned around and grabbed the idiots--he cringed--/wounded/--hand--the man yelping out and--
"Baka--you need to clean that wound."
And then--and then--Polar noticed, "What wound?"
"N-Nee~ Yuu-chan~" Lavi whined, "Why you gotta be so mean? Because--- /damn/ that /hurts/."
And it really /did/ hurt, because ashes weren't exactly the best bandages, and Kanda had strong hands that squeezed too hard sometimes, and-- he looked up at Polar with an outstretched palm and an blank expression, because he was still waiting for the world to be right-side up again. He'd really been
tossed off of Kanda's person-- literally. For the first time in his life, and he was almost to the point of amusement with it.
Just a snuggle, and Kanda was ready to toss him out of a /caravan/.
And Polar was looking at him and it was kind of unnerving, to have those pale eyes on him all amusedly.
"But... yeah, I guess it prob'ly does," he said, a little thoughtfully, admiring the wound for himself. "It's not exactly clean, and.. y'know, this /is/ my writin' hand."
And then he looked at Kanda.
"Which prob'ly wouldn't be a problem if y'hadn't tried to kill me, nee~?"
Kanda frowned, but turned away--looking around the small caravan and what sparsely littered the floor. No cleaning supplies. What the /fuck?/
"Che for people who travel you don't have many medical supplies."
"Of course not." He turned to Polar who was frowning again and--and--suddenly he was shoved aside--and the man was /right up in Lavi's face/--he bristled, but the redhead didn't seem to mind it. Instead easily relinquishing his hand to the other--palm up to show the ash covered hand, "I'm the one who carries all of it," Polar continued as if he just realized he hadn't finished his sentence, glancing back only once at him before fishing around in one of the many coat pockets of his--
Really, really /really/ big jacket.....
and pulling out a vial full of clear liquid.
"This is going to sting." He warned, "But I supposed you already knew that." His lips twitched to a grin and Kanda watched-faintly amused--as the idiot cringed and the cork was removed--a little of the liquid easing out onto the wound.
And then Lavi howled--or tried to, but the sound was cut off--and--well-
That definitely /wasn't/ water, was it?
As hard as it was to speak around the sleeve of Polar's very long coat, Lavi squeezed his eyes shut, just a little bit grateful for it after all. Of /course/ it wasn't water, because with Polar, that was already a given. The man was smiling, although half-way, and that was enough for Lavi to assess that he was probably getting a kick out of this pain that had his closed eyes watering.
And Polar /was/ a sadist after all, wasn't he?
*Which made Lavi wonder what kind of hands he was in, but then again, he /knew/ Polar. Who, like Kanda, would probably cut off his leg if it /really/ came down to it.
Kanda. He looked up at him and forced a grin, winking at the man, driving him crazy until it was over. It was a funny distraction, after all-- what with him looking away and rolling his eyes and such. Of course he thought anything other than Spartan endurance was pointless, but that was just... Kanda being Kanda.
*And there really was no harm in that, was there? If he wasn't being.. well, overtly violent?
As soon as Polar allowed it, Lavi pulled away, effectively letting go the grip he'd held on the man's coat-- and almost laughed, looking at the bite marks he'd caused. He actually did once he saw the man's face.
"Mm, and that's what you get, nee?," he said, and, with a glance to Kanda, pinched Polar's nipple hard through his ruffled shirt. "And I'm givin' that to you in return, keep in mind, so /please/ tell me that got ya the /tiniest/ bit hard."
Kanda's eyes widened when the idiot started laughing--and they widened even /more/ at the--wait--wait /what?/ But Polar was laughing too--albiet a little more refined than the bellowed laughter that he'd grown so used to--no.
Just. No.
"Just from that?" Polar's laughter died but his lips remained tilted at the edges, smiling down at the redhead, "No. I just woke /up/ for Christ's sake. Don't think I'm that quick to jump in." Which he wasn't. Really. Grabbing onto Lavi's hand again, to inspect it, and pulling out a roll of bandages from the very same pocket, "Now then, it's been staralyzed, so now all that's left is bandaging. Will you start complaining? Or?" He turned to look up at the Japanese boy, "Do you want him to do it? Actually, I think you /should/ considering it seems you're the one at fault for this...wound anyway."
Then he promptly tossed the roll at Kanda, who caught it on reflex and scowled--suddenly--and rather abruptly--finding himself seated in front of the teasing redhead.
Well. Great.
Which wasn't to say that Lavi wasn't happy, because he was. He looked at Kanda in a way he reserved for times like these-- halting, and friendly, not willing to push the boundaries too much if Kanda was unwilling to help him. His green eye regarded him as a comrade (at least for now, for this singular moment) when later, he could yet again see him as something else, like an ex-Order buddy or a very-possible lover, if he could only persuade him to do so.
*He didn't disregard chance, though, despite the pitiful outcome of such a wager. Because no one was going to take Mugen's side in Kanda's bed anytime soon-- and not that Lavi had even been planning it. It'd just fallen in his head again as he looked at him, seeing all that sullen beauty and getting overwhelmed again, wondering why he hadn't attempted anything sooner.
*Before it was too late, that was. Before he had to return to where it all began, the same place where he would close his eyes and enter into a different life, a different world from the one Kanda would always inhabit.
"So Yuu," he said casually, holding out his spread palm as if he were expecting a shake of some kind. "Don't expect what Polar jus' got, either, because I'm not stupid enough to try it."
*He paused here, for dramatic effect, before:
"But if you do, you know I'd be more'n welcome to do it for ya. Y'get it?"
He gave him the familiar teasing smile again and reached out to brush dust off Kanda's gold-trimmed collar with his uninjured hand.
*"So bandage me up quick, nee? This wound is clean and wide open-- What if they stop the caravan an' find me dead, Yuu?" And for a moment there, he actually sounded /believably/ concerned.
An obviously loaded question, but Kanda was never the captain of such a complicated department.
Kanda stared down at the spread palm, frowning slightly at the expectant gesture--as if he'd be so damn kind to the idiot who--well it /was/ his fault but--
"Che" he gripped the hand much more gently than he'd normally allow, tugging it closer and--feeling the idiot /inhale/. Damned Rabbits--"Fine."
So he took the bandages and, well, bandaged. Wrapping the hand finely with the gauze first--and then having another round of bandages chucked at his head--he glared at the pale man, who whistled and sat crosslegged--watching them with knowing eyes--a hand resting on the gun resting against the wall.
With a cloth. /Cleaning/ it.
THen--Lavi started humming as well, hums turning to words, head bobbing back and forth slightly and--
"Shut. Up."
Lavi frowned, the words died.
But somehow that didn't help any.
And with the mood freshly killed, Lavi stared at Kanda now with a different feeling. Beneath them, the wheels of the carriage turned and lumbered over terrain, over plants and rocks alike-- they were taking a different path, he remembered, which pulled them temporarily off the dirt of the road that led straight to Italy, the trail worn as smooth as a pearl in the lavender countryside.
And Polar. Oh, /Polar/.
*Lavi gave him a pointed smile that read a lot of things-- confusion, amusement, gratitude. Not pain, because they were Bookman and weren't supposed to feel something that down-to-earth or human, but it /had/ to happen to more people than just himself.
Because if it didn't, then maybe he wasn't worthy of a title this big. If emotions could knock him for a loop so easily, in a way that--- Lavi inwardly cringed--- Kanda would find rather disgusting.
*Although, Kanda /had/ treated him kindly. He felt a tug at his palm and looked back at him, then down-- watching him tie the bandage and tuck it under, forcing Lavi's hand out of his in dismissal of his duty.
"Thanks a lot, Yuu~," Lavi murmured, lifting the hand up his face, admiring bandaged handiwork. Not bad work for someone who hardly needed them. "Guess I won't bleed out after all, nee?"
*He wondered, though, what Kanda would have done if he /did/, considering the man had completely skimped out on that question when he'd asked it. Polar, at least, would shown some concern (partly out of obligation, but the friendship was there), and then...
Well, there was Kanda.
*And that didn't make him feel much better, either, to feel as if he were nothing to him. Despite the fact that any other Bookman would be thrilled--- he wasn't. He just /wasn't/.
And that presented, in itself, a very big problem.
Polar pretended not to notice; really he did, when the paid expression flickered-ever so briefly-in that lone green eye. But it caught his interest enough-enough to, at the very least, give the Japanese a curisitory glance as they went off the main road, and onto a much rockier one-leading down to, he assumed, another quaint village on their tour of the border-ever closer (but not quite touching) their destination.
But he chose to hum again, instead, polishing his gun until it shined-until the silence got nearly overbearing and the cart slowed to a stop.
To the small village, nothing major-but familiar nonetheless. A trading post of sorts, but nothing like their own. It was good enough, though-to house them, at least for a night, their clan looked upon as saviors-though cruel-of a vastly different kind. They would be welcomed. This was as good a place as any.
But Kanda Yuu didn’t like it. Not that he liked many things, but it was irritating and the redhead was too damned quiet-giving him a look like for all the damned world he--/wasn’t supposed to care/--and that did something to his gut, as much as the fucking whining did. As much as the heated glare-Fuck religion. Thoroughly, but he would /not/ discard it. Not even when, with the last scathing glance-he nearly had something spilt on him, he was pretty sure it was hot wax-from the disdained look on Lavi’s face as he --/didn’t help/ but just watched.
Even when Polar said (with the same look of…blank disdain, but curiosity) quite adamantly, “There’s the Inn. Might as well stay there for the night-as long as they’ll take us.”
/Us/ was he /us/ now?
He hated the way his stomach churned, but he agreed-standing proudly as the door was held open-and more glares, in the lounge-esque lobby.
As the rooms were ordered-
As-As-
“How the /fuck/ did I get stuck with you?”
“Because you’re an Exorcist.” The answer had been point blank easy, “And from all the dirty looks you got-more than one person here might be an Akuma. If they attack in our sleep-at the very least Lavi’ll get out.”
Lavi looked like he could’ve choked from that.
And Kanda didn’t like it.
Several minutes later when Lavi was fiddling with the room key in his hand, standing in front of a mahogany door numbered 213-- and Kanda was nowhere in immediate sight, as he'd already figured--
... Well, this was probably the worst feeling of dissatisfaction he'd ever felt between two people, one of them being himself.
He'd almost choked, yes, but not from the thought of being in a room with Kanda. It was... /being/ in a /room/ with /Kanda/ that made him feel dizzy with the thought alone. He was overwhelmed by a messy reunion plus memories of years in which he'd probably just only been tolerated as a 'friend' by this guy, this Japanese prick-- He didn't want to agree with Allen, but Kanda really could be unpleasant sometimes.
*And he really didn't like thinking of it that way, anyway. Lavi found it most comforting to live inside his head when it came to Kanda, making it seem as if-- that glare he was giving him coming down the hallway right now was really something /affectionate/ in Japanese culture.
Which was complete and utter bullshit, so what or whom was he kidding?
*The key slid into the door and knocked open the deadbolt with a dull metallic grind. He pushed the door open and stood there, looking into space-- a single bed and a few scattered tables, two small red candles burning quietly on the nightstand.
Wait.
A single bed.
That would simply utterly completely not do.
/Polar/.
It was really for their benefit, he decided, as he tried very hard not to laugh his ass off. Which was kind of hard considering the look on the redhead's face--and the livid one on the swordsman's--both of which swithed to almost-neutrality with a few very easy twitches of muscles and lips and--
He managed his face into simple amusement, strolling across the short hall to peer in--Kanda hadn't seen it yet--no, but it was just the /fact/ and--
"What's up?" Lavi's eye narrowed as he stared at him--looking at Kanda (who was now right next to him) before dragging him into the room and smiling--too friendly--at Kanda--
Before slamming the door in his face.
It rang with a crack like thunder-- and outside, Lavi heard several doors open, several disembodied muffled voices floating on down the hall to investigate
Which meant that screaming or throwing furniture at Polar would probably only get them kicked out of the /only/ Inn that had even the /likelihood/ of welcoming them. Which was unfortunate, because in this situation, Lavi actually kinda felt like it.
And so he turned to him, and, with that same way-too-friendly smile on his face-- cleared his throat and grabbed his shoulders, effectively shaking him in the process.
*"What in the /hell/," he grinned, "are you tryin' to do to me, Polar? Do you really /want/ me to get my balls chopped off? Because really, just in case you were wonderin'--- /it almost worked/."
Polar's pale eyes betrayed nothing but amusement, and Lavi only stared at him, his grin slowly sliding off his face to display nothing but insane embarrassment.
"One bed? Seriously Polar-- a /single bed/? Next time, slip him a sex drug n' actually /try/, but /think/ about it next time ya put a damn/ target/ on my head, okay?"
"But I wasn't." Polar replied, easily enough, "All the beds in here are single--or didn't you pay attention?" Well maybe that was a bit of a lie. Okay. Not a bit. More like a lot--but--"What /I/ think is more important than /that/ is--you left him out in the hall." Because he had, "Not a very good idea, is it?" Because it wasn't--"The one you need to work it out with is Kanda. Not me."
He took two steps back (how far had he been dragged into the /room/?) and smiled at the baffled redhead--making sure his hand was on the doorknob before saying his next words--"And for the record, how would I slip a sex drug in his drink? Or were you planning a rendezvous at dinner?"
But before he could get an answer he had the door open and was out, smiling at the Japanese before swiftly making his way across the hall--effectively slamming and locking his own door--before waiting for the wrath to happen.
Or well, it wouldn’t but. He could see, couldn't he?
Lavi would've gladly shot after him to the next room if he hadn't heard all his locks snap shut-- incidentally, at the exact same moment he remembered he had a living, working body.
Because now the man had information and not just a notion, and Lavi had hysterically dumped it all into his lap in the few seconds he'd stood here in front of him.
Lovely. Just... /lovely/. And knowing Polar, now everything was going to be scrutinized.
And it seemed that the longer he stood there, the worse he felt. Out of anger, he tossed his canvas bag on the bed and tore his coat off as well, standing there in traveling clothes and trying to think of something, anything to resolve this current problem.
*Because he already knew, good and well, that Kanda would rather stand in a blizzard than sleep in the same bed as him, and now, sadly, unfortunately-- /so did Polar/.
And a rendezvous? /Really?/ It was obvious now that he was going to have to keep a close eye on everything Kanda drank, which, fortunately, wasn't very much at all.
But really. With Polar being Polar, he probably shouldn't have even given him that idea in the first place.
.....
/A rendezvous?/ As if he'd even..
"Fuck you," he grumbled without thinking, looking up-- and seeing Kanda staring at him, bewildered, in the open doorway.
*Well. He was /really/ going to have to thank Polar for this later, wasn't he?
"Um," Lavi said blankly, at a loss for anything and everything, "When I said that just now, I /really/ didn't mean Yuu, okay?"
Kanda just stared--stared at the awkward redhead by the lone bed--watching his fingers fidget in a way he wasn't used to ('Lavi' never did that, but then was this guy really 'Lavi' anymore? He had been--wait. No. Don't go there).
"Che, You wouldn't live long enough." He decided instead, carefully unbuttoning his Exorcist Jacket and draping it across one of the small chairs--thinking for a moment, before taking Mugen and placing it across the small table.
Then he turned back to the idiot, who was still staring--quite adamantly--at the bed, then the door--"What did he say?" The words were out before he could stop them but, well, it wasn't nothing. Not that he cared.
"Eh, just that it wasn't /his/ fault and that the beds are apparently like this, or whatever," Lavi said, sounding a little tired-- he looked at Kanda and gave him a look, although he wasn't entirely certain what it contained.
Kanda didn't say anything, either, so he sat and watched him do nothing, his shining jacket arranged over the back of a chair, Mugen on the table for once and out of his grip. He wondered briefly if maybe too much time had passed and that they'd been pushed to opposite sides, but since they'd /always/ had this kind of communication problem.
Lavi sighed, shifting where he stood-- he didn't have to think about it if he didn't want to, but that didn't mean it wasn't going to /hang around/.
*"So um," he began, reaching over casually and lifting the jacket he'd practically ripped off earlier from his bed. He spoke while looking at other things, like the maroon linen quilt there and the few small things that were falling out of his discarded bag, like colorful pens and pencils, a few dull pieces of tarnished, loose change from Europe.
"Dinner starts in fifteen minutes, y'know," he offered, pulling an arm into his jacket, eyes averting his-- then giving up, and letting them rest there. Even so, he remained uneasy and avoidant.
*"And since you're my bodyguard, I guess that obligates you to go, but I'm not givin' you orders. I /know/ better."
Kanda frowned at that. Body Guard--since when had he? /Fuck/--"Che, I'm not your damned bodyguard anyway." The redhead turned to him, looking a bit quizzical and crestfallen but damned if he actually felt either emotion. Damned if he felt them himself--Kanda let out a sigh, running a hand over Mugens hilt.
Innocence. Promises. He was a /General/ now, if Lavi didn't fucking know that then he truly /was/ an idiot--so he repeated it, silently, gripping Mugen's hilt--before turning to look back at the redheads face.
Concern (as much as he could have, Kanda assumed) and understanding. /Fuck/ he hated when he was understanding.
"What?" the redhead chuckled and shook his head, turning back to the bed to fiddle with the comforter they would have to--/goddamn/ share. The last person he had shared a bed with was Lenalee--and that was out of pure necessity and it had brought him absolute /hell/ for it later. Which he didn't want to remember. Pointedly.--
But this was the idiot. It was only for one damned night (he hoped) and--che--if the idiot expected anything more then--well--he'd have
*to prove him otherwise. It was just that simple.
Or not.
Not when the redhead opened his mouth and actually /answered/ him.
"You mean to say," Lavi began-- and by now he was slipping his other arm into his sleeve, turning around to face Kanda directly-- "You haven't started askin' yourself anything about this town yet?"
Random, yes, but also very opportune. At least, he liked to think of it that way instead of negatively. He only laughed because it was quick to fill an empty room up, and besides-- the way Kanda had been looking at Mugen was so..
Well, intense, and probably even a little concerned. It had never made sense to him why Mugen got better treatment than the majority of /human beings/ did, but.. he figured that was just favoritism in action.
Bookmen knew a lot about favoritism, after all. Considering anything outside of their clan was an insect meant for studying, but..
That was just another thing he didn't like thinking about, so he turned to Kanda and offered up a grin, hoping for some meaningless conversation from its least possible origin /ever/.
"That wax on your jacket, those dirty looks-- c'mon, Yuu," he laughed, "I figured you'd have at least asked /me/ a question by now. Then again, why would you care for a town that means /nothin'/ to you, right?"
Kanda's eyes narrowed as he watched the idiot grin at him--lips stretched wide, fake and--"Why the fuck would I ask you /questions/? Che, you should know." He turned to look out the lone (covered and dirty) window in the room, "The Order is nice to those who succumb and the rest can just rot in whatever fucking hell they came up with."
WHen he turned back to look at the rabbit, he felt almost satisified, "You'd know a lot about /that/ wouldn't you?" He wondered--watching the redhead's face pale, and slack (as much as allowed, he guessed)--before letting out a sigh and picking up his jacket, debating for about half a second, playing with the gold buttons, before lifting it from the chair and slipping it back on.
And as he donned it, Lavi looked for some kind of self-affirmation in his face-- some sign that let him know that maybe this was what he told himself but not what he /believed/, but-- nothing. He'd learned a long time ago to expect that much from Kanda's limited expressionism, that he really couldn't trust the surface in the first place and that, underneath everything, Kanda was no closer to telling him from the day before.
Or the year before, in this case. As he stared at him, Lavi's grin took on a harder edge before it disappeared completely, and by the time he reached the door, he felt just as plain-faced as Bookman had always been. Emotions clouded your head, after all, and it was better this way, to project more than a casual accent and a friendly demeanor to the world.
*He laughed.
Only a little, but it was a dry and rueful sound, and he was familiar enough with Kanda to know when he was probably glaring.
Which he was.
"A lot, yes," he admitted, "and a lot more in everything else that you'll probably never even know about. The Black Order isn't the only dead place in this world. Of course, a narrow-minded dog like yourself would never get out of the cage enough to understand that, so I can hardly blame you."
He turned to smile at him, sadly, already knowing from Lavi that Kanda couldn't /stomach/ the thought of pity.
"My," he added, green eye looking at him full-on-- "Being off your leash like this must be /heavenly/ for you, right? And what exactly have you even done to deserve it?"
He watched something darken in the other man's eyes, and Lavi was pressing him, warning him-- "/Don't push it/," he was saying, a little frantic, his voice like caged birds and broken sunlight.
Kanda’s eyes widened, then narrowed in nearly the same motion. /Don’t push it? Push what?/ He looked back down at Mugen, clenching his fist, “That…isn’t something I should tell a /Bookman/ is it?” His eyes flashed and met the idiot’s own-dark obsidian against fresh cut emerald-what the /fuck/ no-“Since when did you get up on a fucking high horse?” The smirk was a bit unsettling-the look too-it felt like something crumbling just out of reach.
A frayed end.
A memory to go by that was foggy to begin with.
/Goddammit/.
He turned swiftly on his heel toward the door-hand held suspended over the doorknob-heavy breathing-the creak of wood-and then he was gone. Leaving, he was sure, a livid redhead behind.
And he wouldn’t ask.