A man thinks that by mouthing hard words he understands hard things.
That whole working one day this week thing is not happening. Not only are we working tonight as well, it appears that we are working this weekend too. We have Monday off for Columbus Day, which most Navy commands will, but the real kicker is that we leave for a month long float on the ocean come Thursday. So, we get one day off for a month of work, isn't that nice? I'm just ecstatic that I work here, really.
All I heard about when I got to work yesterday was how much everyone missed me. It's superficial, don't worry. The hand shakes, the smiles, the greetings--all just a way of expressing relief. I'm there to take the brunt of things and when I'm not around, that weight gets put on other people. Other people hate that, and tell me so. Well, I'm not a big fan of it myself, but I do it because no one else will. I do it because I'll hate myself if I don't, and I really don't need anymore negativity around me right now.
I'm trying really hard to think of the positives in my life right now. They're there, but they just don't have as big of an impact on my emotions, in a visual sense. I feel in extremes. I cry when I'm upset, shut down when I'm angry, and I cover it up when I'm happy and blow off how deeply I love. I don't know why and I've been doing my best to change. Change is hard though. Really hard. It's even harder when you have less positives than negatives to think about.
All I heard about when I got to work yesterday was how much everyone missed me. It's superficial, don't worry. The hand shakes, the smiles, the greetings--all just a way of expressing relief. I'm there to take the brunt of things and when I'm not around, that weight gets put on other people. Other people hate that, and tell me so. Well, I'm not a big fan of it myself, but I do it because no one else will. I do it because I'll hate myself if I don't, and I really don't need anymore negativity around me right now.
I'm trying really hard to think of the positives in my life right now. They're there, but they just don't have as big of an impact on my emotions, in a visual sense. I feel in extremes. I cry when I'm upset, shut down when I'm angry, and I cover it up when I'm happy and blow off how deeply I love. I don't know why and I've been doing my best to change. Change is hard though. Really hard. It's even harder when you have less positives than negatives to think about.