Someone else's dream.
I have the day off from work today. Normally, that'd be good and I'd get a lot accomplished, but I woke up this morning feeling rather under the weather. Corey kept hitting the snooze button so he could stay with me longer, but that can only be done so many times before it ruins your whole day. He made me promise to wear comfortable clothes and not start packing or looking for houses, even though we're supposed to move in about two weeks.
My life's been pretty busy as of late, with a lot of ups and downs. I went on a detachment to China Lake, which is about four hours north east of San Diego, in the middle of the desert (AKA: nowhere). Dets are basically the same thing you do normally except with a lot less people, in a different place, and with longer hours. I can't say it was too bad of an experience though. Corey went too, but it was kept strictly professional between us the whole time. I found that to be really difficult, as I missed him more than I've ever missed anyone and he was right there. So close yet so far, especially when I got some bad news early in that week and I couldn't talk to him about it. Life went on though and I was rather elated to see him when we got home. It's amazing that you can fall more and more in love with someone every day :)
I've got a little less than two weeks before I transfer to my new command. It's kind of a bittersweet feeling, something that leaves me torn. I want to leave so that Corey and I can stop hiding and so that the people we work with will stop acting like children by spreading rumors. I want to stay because there are a few people that make my day brighter just because I work with them. I'm also a lot more nervous about going on deployment than what I seem to be. I already know that I'm going to be given a lot of responsibility at my new command because of all of my quals and the lack of leadership and knowledge that is currently over there, but I won't really have much time to get comfortable in this new role before I'm being thrown out to sea.
I'm sure I'll adapt, but the more I think about it, the less I want to be here, in the Navy. Honestly, I knew this was going to happen. It was all fun and games when I only had myself to think about, and though I know he probably doesn't want to hear it, now that I'm committed to someone and want a long future with him, I can't imagine putting myself in a position where we may not see each other for months on top of months. I'll support his Naval career for as long as he wants to do it, but for me, there are more important and meaningful options out there. I have a bright future, outside of the uniform.
My life's been pretty busy as of late, with a lot of ups and downs. I went on a detachment to China Lake, which is about four hours north east of San Diego, in the middle of the desert (AKA: nowhere). Dets are basically the same thing you do normally except with a lot less people, in a different place, and with longer hours. I can't say it was too bad of an experience though. Corey went too, but it was kept strictly professional between us the whole time. I found that to be really difficult, as I missed him more than I've ever missed anyone and he was right there. So close yet so far, especially when I got some bad news early in that week and I couldn't talk to him about it. Life went on though and I was rather elated to see him when we got home. It's amazing that you can fall more and more in love with someone every day :)
I've got a little less than two weeks before I transfer to my new command. It's kind of a bittersweet feeling, something that leaves me torn. I want to leave so that Corey and I can stop hiding and so that the people we work with will stop acting like children by spreading rumors. I want to stay because there are a few people that make my day brighter just because I work with them. I'm also a lot more nervous about going on deployment than what I seem to be. I already know that I'm going to be given a lot of responsibility at my new command because of all of my quals and the lack of leadership and knowledge that is currently over there, but I won't really have much time to get comfortable in this new role before I'm being thrown out to sea.
I'm sure I'll adapt, but the more I think about it, the less I want to be here, in the Navy. Honestly, I knew this was going to happen. It was all fun and games when I only had myself to think about, and though I know he probably doesn't want to hear it, now that I'm committed to someone and want a long future with him, I can't imagine putting myself in a position where we may not see each other for months on top of months. I'll support his Naval career for as long as he wants to do it, but for me, there are more important and meaningful options out there. I have a bright future, outside of the uniform.