Going around in circles.
Honestly, I don't know where to begin. I rarely write anything down anymore, and I'm really starting to dislike that fact. It's always been such a release for me to jot down my casual, everyday adventures and not doing it recently is probably starting to disturb my mental state, especially if the last month or so is any indication.
As I once said about myself, "I've got EMOTIONAL BASKETCASE written all over me in big, black, Sharpie marker letters." For a long while there, that statement didn't apply, but man, that issue had no problem jumping right back into the mix and asserting its authority in my life. I've been on the verge of tears for weeks. Me, of all people--I know. I swear, I've turned completely loony. The littlest things set me off and I have to go and compose myself or I break down in front of Corey, which I really hate doing. It's got to make him a little leery and probably question what he got himself into.
The problem is, I can't exactly put my finger on what's wrong with me. I can complain all I want to about the Navy and college, but they can't be the root of my disastrous mind. I'm used to being abused at work and pushing myself towards perfection in every aspect of my life, so I know I can handle that; it's nothing new. I just don't understand why I can't control my tear ducts. Even right now I'm sitting here trying desperately not to cry and I don't know why I even need to cry! It makes no sense! Hopefully, I'm just emotionally exhausted. I know that sounds bad, but I know how to fix that issue to where I can tolerate living with myself.
Anyway, enough of my hysterics. I'll adapt and overcome, just like I always do. And, speaking of overcoming obstacles, I'm working this weekend again, which is why I'm home right now. This isn't my duty section weekend, per se, but I am in the standby duty section and unfortunately I have a qualification that only a limited amount of people seem to have [and want]. Being that there are some late flights this weekend, and the people who work the normal weekend shift are extremely inconsiderate and complain about working late hours that add up to the hours that the rest of us work, well, the rest of us have to pick up their slack. Nice bunch of people; I'm a big fan.
I'm just extremely bitter over the whole thing since I was apart of the weekend shift for so long. I know for a fact that we didn't complain when there was a heavy flying weekend because, on an average basis, we got hooked up with time off. Now, duty section and those of us who are Plane Captains are getting more and more work tacked onto our regular schedules. Seriously, this is shore duty and there's no reason for people to be this immature about the whole thing. I really can't wait until May 1st when I transfer to a sea command and I'm taken advantage of for valid reasons. As of right now though, I'm crossing my fingers that I won't be stuck there both nights until 1am like last time. That was a blast.
As I once said about myself, "I've got EMOTIONAL BASKETCASE written all over me in big, black, Sharpie marker letters." For a long while there, that statement didn't apply, but man, that issue had no problem jumping right back into the mix and asserting its authority in my life. I've been on the verge of tears for weeks. Me, of all people--I know. I swear, I've turned completely loony. The littlest things set me off and I have to go and compose myself or I break down in front of Corey, which I really hate doing. It's got to make him a little leery and probably question what he got himself into.
The problem is, I can't exactly put my finger on what's wrong with me. I can complain all I want to about the Navy and college, but they can't be the root of my disastrous mind. I'm used to being abused at work and pushing myself towards perfection in every aspect of my life, so I know I can handle that; it's nothing new. I just don't understand why I can't control my tear ducts. Even right now I'm sitting here trying desperately not to cry and I don't know why I even need to cry! It makes no sense! Hopefully, I'm just emotionally exhausted. I know that sounds bad, but I know how to fix that issue to where I can tolerate living with myself.
Anyway, enough of my hysterics. I'll adapt and overcome, just like I always do. And, speaking of overcoming obstacles, I'm working this weekend again, which is why I'm home right now. This isn't my duty section weekend, per se, but I am in the standby duty section and unfortunately I have a qualification that only a limited amount of people seem to have [and want]. Being that there are some late flights this weekend, and the people who work the normal weekend shift are extremely inconsiderate and complain about working late hours that add up to the hours that the rest of us work, well, the rest of us have to pick up their slack. Nice bunch of people; I'm a big fan.
I'm just extremely bitter over the whole thing since I was apart of the weekend shift for so long. I know for a fact that we didn't complain when there was a heavy flying weekend because, on an average basis, we got hooked up with time off. Now, duty section and those of us who are Plane Captains are getting more and more work tacked onto our regular schedules. Seriously, this is shore duty and there's no reason for people to be this immature about the whole thing. I really can't wait until May 1st when I transfer to a sea command and I'm taken advantage of for valid reasons. As of right now though, I'm crossing my fingers that I won't be stuck there both nights until 1am like last time. That was a blast.