It finally caught up to me.
I'm getting sick.
Since about monday I haven't been eating because I've been depressed, I've been working out and fucking scuba diving, and I drink like a fucking fish every night.
Last night bent me.
I read an email from Tristan, wished that none of this bullshit had ever happened, drank everything in Franken Mare's house (which I was doing before I got upset) and then went with my friend Geneva to drink A WHOLE LOT MORE.
I tried making myself vomit last night when I realized just how much I had drunk on an empty stomach.
Geneva was sweet enough to drive me back to her place (which ironically is a few blocks form Franken Mare's) and I crashed there until about two today when she drove me back to Mare's car.
If there's anyone who understands people who need vices on depression, it's her. Ooooold friend of mine. Fucking love you, Geneva.
I was supposed to see my chiropractor today, but I would have had to rush to get there, and already rushed around getting my scuba shit ready and bathing the scent of drunk off of me.
You know that alcohol reaking out through your skin smell? Just makes me more sick...
I'm still increadibly fucking taunted by this bullshit about Tristan.
Hunger strike. I don't know why I do it...maybe it's like fasting to purge this feeling.
Am I just over rationalizing my self destructive behavior?
Whatever.
Since about monday I haven't been eating because I've been depressed, I've been working out and fucking scuba diving, and I drink like a fucking fish every night.
Last night bent me.
I read an email from Tristan, wished that none of this bullshit had ever happened, drank everything in Franken Mare's house (which I was doing before I got upset) and then went with my friend Geneva to drink A WHOLE LOT MORE.
I tried making myself vomit last night when I realized just how much I had drunk on an empty stomach.
Geneva was sweet enough to drive me back to her place (which ironically is a few blocks form Franken Mare's) and I crashed there until about two today when she drove me back to Mare's car.
If there's anyone who understands people who need vices on depression, it's her. Ooooold friend of mine. Fucking love you, Geneva.
I was supposed to see my chiropractor today, but I would have had to rush to get there, and already rushed around getting my scuba shit ready and bathing the scent of drunk off of me.
You know that alcohol reaking out through your skin smell? Just makes me more sick...
I'm still increadibly fucking taunted by this bullshit about Tristan.
Hunger strike. I don't know why I do it...maybe it's like fasting to purge this feeling.
Am I just over rationalizing my self destructive behavior?
Whatever.