Good Time!
Yesterday night I had a heart to heart talk with my mother, made my peace with my baby brother after our pretty bad argument, let out my inner gay to my boyfriend, everything's close to working out for me and now I really feel unstoppable and I feel like I'm all ready to take over the world.
I think this is the kind of energy I really need to conquer this academic year (or maybe even the many years to come)! (: After all that bottling up and just feeling so miserable I really like this change I'm going through. I really like the friendships I've gained/rebuilt. I like the time I'm given to make everything right for myself.
Sure everything's not perfect yet, there are still some friends I have yet to catch up with, still some people that I need to remind that their presence in my life mean a lot to me.
My mother was just telling me today about how Warren told her, "Vanessa always change change boyfriend, but her taste is definitely getting better". ;D I sense approval for this one.
But yes, today I woke up to a text that well, just made me realize that I've managed to walk out of that dark place with my head held high. I do not miss the past, I do not miss being miserable and just subjecting myself to pain and mental torture that I'm not good enough to even live, I do not miss being told I can be better because that's just as good as telling me I'm not good enough even if it's an "innocent intention".
To even think that such a text could be sent reminded me how disgusting the feeling was to be cheated on and I really wish nobody would have to go through that.
I feel that I have matured a little, not a lot, but just enough to make me know that all the effort I'm putting in now to make MY OWN life work out for ME is gonna pay off in the end. I love growing up at my own pace now, I feel motivated to set my own expectations of myself and just have my freedom to prioritize and make my own mistakes and learn from them. No blame whatsoever. It may be a bit slower than a lot of people, but I'm really enjoying what life has to offer currently.
I really appreciate all the encouragement I've been receiving so far, all the help even though many of you don't realise it. If I'm not walking on my own two feet now, I'm most probably dancing on them through life so far.
Fuck, this really is too good to be true. (: And I'm really glad if my friends could just tell me that they've noticed a change in me and that they're really happy about it. :D
Wah so much cheesy mushy stuff recently and it's been SO LONG since that happened. ;D