(no subject)
Well things have just gotten worse and more confusing around here. My sister is in so much trouble and she doesn't even know it yet. I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to be in trouble and I am not going to defend what she did because she was wrong. She can blame as much of it on the alcohol as she wants but there is no excuse for what she did. Even after promising me and my cousin that we could trust her and nothing would happen. Well she blew any trust we had in her.
Last Tuesday we went up to Gladwin to a coworkers cabin on a lake. We stayed until Thursday morning because I had to be to work at 11 A.M. Wednesday night I drank a lot (I'm not supposed to because I am really allergic to it). Well everyone but my cousin got drunk and it was crazy. I wanted smores so bad (we couldn't have a fire because it was raining) that I turned the stove on and roasted my marshmallows over that. It worked and that is all I cared about.
Well the whole guy situation is still confusing. I got rid of one guy (my ex) because 3 days after telling me he loved me and wanted to be with me again (we were gonna take some time to get to know each other better) he hooked up with someone else. He has known her for a long time so it could be a long term thing. I was hurt and angry at the same time. One of the other guys (the one I've been in love with for a long time) told me he loved me when I was leaving his house Monday night. He had said we were working on things so I figured when I went over his house on Thursday when I got back maybe he would tell me he wanted a relationship now. Well once again I was wrong. Things went back to the way they were. I guess the only reason he said that and acted the way he did on Monday was because my cousin and sister were there. The guy that wants me to move in with him told me today that he likes me as a friend and maybe more. I went over his house and we talked and he said he thinks he wants a relationship but he isn't sure right now because he just moved and wants to get things settled down before starting anything. I don't know how to tell him that I don't like him like that without hurting him. Then there is the other guy that I am really starting to like and want to be with. The only problem is he doesn't want a relationship right now. He is so close to perfect (I know he has his flaws but everyone does and if I were to say he was perfect then I would be lying to myself). I just don't know if I should tell him I like him and risk losing what we have now or if I should tell him in case he feels the same but doesn't want to say anything. I just don't know what to do. Anyone have any suggestions I would love to hear them.
Work is starting to suck to. I mean I love the hours (38 for next week) but the responsibilities that come with them are getting out of hand. If anything goes wrong I am the one people come to, even the managers. I am not even a supervisor let alone a manager. I just keep telling myself only 2 1/2 more months.then I have to get a new job and college starts. I would just like to win the lottery and disappear for a year.
Well I have to go get ready for work, although I would like to call in sick and go to bed I can't. Just gotta say my usual hi to my cousin Jaime (you have to come Wednesday so you can help me figure out what to do) and Stephanie (congratulations on getting into the program maybe I'll see you around campus since we wont be in class together anymore).