(no subject)
if i had the balls to kill myself i would do it.
not because i hate the world, cause i love the world.
but i really hate myself.
i binged for two and a half days straight. ate about four and a half pounds of calories. somehow I GAINED 14 POUNDS.
i want to die. i just want to die. i feel so out of control and nothing makes any sense. and i was doing so well. i had lost 50 lbs. now i've only lost 36. and i didn't have my period last month, only a little spotting, but i'm still overweight, so i shouldn't be not having a period.
i gained 14 pounds on 4.5 pounds of calories. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT HAPPEN???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
not because i hate the world, cause i love the world.
but i really hate myself.
i binged for two and a half days straight. ate about four and a half pounds of calories. somehow I GAINED 14 POUNDS.
i want to die. i just want to die. i feel so out of control and nothing makes any sense. and i was doing so well. i had lost 50 lbs. now i've only lost 36. and i didn't have my period last month, only a little spotting, but i'm still overweight, so i shouldn't be not having a period.
i gained 14 pounds on 4.5 pounds of calories. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT HAPPEN???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!