(no subject)
As a rule, I tend to be a nice person when dealing with people. It's part of my natural personality to try to be extra sensitive and understanding with people because I know that everyone can have their moments where they feel like no one will give them a break or even just take a minute to try and understand that we all have a million things we're dealing with in life. I do this personally and professionally, its one of the few things that usually comes up as a positive in any job I have and personally, outside of my mom, my family may not always notice but I think my friends do. I like being nice most of the time except for when it gets me stepped on.
At times it feels like people close to me bank on the fact that 'Lauren will always be there' or "Lauren will understand" and as a rule I will, but sometimes I wish I knew how to speak up because I feel taken for granted or like my feelings don't always matter because I'm the one who just understands and thus I must be cool with everything. I feel like an after thought to people I value the most. Pushed aside and just assumed to be there. Now is where it seems easy for people to tell me just to stand up for myself. Tell people to stop taking advantage of me or make myself known, but in doing that I worry about hurting feelings or making someone feel like an asshole and that's one of the last things I ever want to do, especially to the people I care about. It's a lonely feeling though, feeling like the one everyone forgets. I suppose someday I'll figure out the fine line between speaking up and hurting feelings. For now, I guess this is me saying: Hi, I'm here.
At times it feels like people close to me bank on the fact that 'Lauren will always be there' or "Lauren will understand" and as a rule I will, but sometimes I wish I knew how to speak up because I feel taken for granted or like my feelings don't always matter because I'm the one who just understands and thus I must be cool with everything. I feel like an after thought to people I value the most. Pushed aside and just assumed to be there. Now is where it seems easy for people to tell me just to stand up for myself. Tell people to stop taking advantage of me or make myself known, but in doing that I worry about hurting feelings or making someone feel like an asshole and that's one of the last things I ever want to do, especially to the people I care about. It's a lonely feeling though, feeling like the one everyone forgets. I suppose someday I'll figure out the fine line between speaking up and hurting feelings. For now, I guess this is me saying: Hi, I'm here.