Circle of Friends: Chapter 19
Title: Circle of Friends
Pairing: A pairing that consist of five people....
Rating: Pg-13
Aiba never spent a day in his life planning his future.
It wasn’t like he couldn’t do it; he just didn’t want to. He loved the surprises that life brings. He loved the surprises of the consequences that his unplanned actions could lead him to.
Life to him is an experiment.
But once in a while he couldn’t help but wondered that the not planning had lead to lesser results more than the planned ones. If planned things could actually make his life better. Maybe he could enroll himself into a great school, or get job offers at the age of nineteen, or even learn how to cook like Jun.
Or maybe just the power to hold them together.
Maybe he should start planning things just to make sure. Consciously his mind started to run, and he felt it as though he had never made it run before. It’s not like he wasn’t capable, it was just planning needed a lot more vigorous work then eating or making laughable jokes. Planning needs…well, planning needs a lot.
“We’ll eat at 7 and we can set up to camp just before that right?” Aiba blurted out to the others who were squatting just near him, wrestling with their crabs.
Nino looked up as though he had leaves growing on his face. “What?”
“I said, we can set the camp first before eating… and someone should take some water from up the river just before sunset. I’ll be too dark if we wait too long.”
Ohno looked up at Aiba before he blinked and laughed, clutching his sides.
“Oh crap” Nino said, shooting him questioning looks. “He sounds like you, mom, what happened?”
“No crabs for you, Masaki” Sho replied airily.
“I’m just planning things. What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing” Sho said reassuringly.
“Everything” Nino exhaled. “Just peel the crab, ok? And stop saying anything funny” Nino tilt his head at Ohno who was still clutching his sides and showed no sign of an ability to stop himself from laughing. “See, you just broke him”
Aiba stopped talking afterwards, one reason because he couldn’t make a plan and peel crabs at the same time but mostly because Ohno almost had a stomach cramp. Okay, maybe it was too sudden. Maybe he should have waited a while longer before pointing out any good plan. Nino was right, he didn’t sound like himself. But Aiba wasn’t the kind of person that would give up. He made a decision to make a plan and what if it was the step that he needed to take to change his flow of life-or destiny. That sounded experimental already…but of course it wasn’t one. Right? He just needed to be sure
They talked a lot while cooking though, mostly because Sho couldn’t stop himself. But then Nino didn’t eat and Ohno looked sleepy while Sho was occupied with the fact that Nino wasn’t eating. Aiba didn’t talk much either because he felt lost for once-it was dusk and nobody went up the river. He didn’t mind the water much, they have drinks, it was the plan that he was concerned about. He had a plan and to go along with it was the only way to do it.
“Someone should go up the river” He said standing up.
“It’s going to rain” Nino protested.
“What’s wrong Aiba-chan?” Ohno sounded concern.
“Someone should go. That was the plan, right?”
“Don’t worry, we’re not dehydrated, just go tomorrow” Sho reasoned.
“But-“
“It’s already dark” Nino said almost softly, pulling Aiba by his thumb. “Sit down and relax” he said, letting the words ‘Stop acting weird’ just past by silently in his head without voicing it out. He knew, of course, what was working in Aiba’s head. He could always work his way around Aiba’s almost weird way of thinking. Aiba is a genius in a weird way.
Aiba is a genius in an innocent way.
And it has the thinnest line from making completely stupid ideas. Nino knew that was the only reason why he decided to be kind. He understood the panic. He even understood the urge to make a change, but he also wanted Aiba to know that there was nothing that he could do to change anything.
But Nino had no heart to say it.
“Just let him go” Sho said finally looking up at Aiba. “If anything happen just scream like a girl, we’ll come fetch you”
“Or what’s left of you” Nino pouted.
Aiba blinked. “OK” he said shortly, before setting off with a torch light in his hand.
Nino made a small sigh. “Aiba-chan deals with stress by acting weird? Or maybe he was just thinking too much. That’s a bad thing right? Aiba thinking too much.”
“Is there anything good left?” Sho said bitterly while gathering some sticks.
“At least he wants to do something” Ohno said almost bluntly. “At least he’s still hoping and there is no sign of giving up. That’s enough of a good thing, right?” his eyes awake.
“Ah~ so cute” Sho agreed.
“My feelings for you Oh-chan…If this isn’t love, than what is?” Nino mused.
****
Jun had stopped talking to himself when he walked down the road. There were satisfactions on his face, a triumph that he could only get from choosing his own way of doing his things; doing things that he loves. He could still hear the noises the crowd made and the shudder of satisfaction he got when he walked down the stage. The loud murmur of people commenting over his acts; He never felt so much better.
Nobody could give him something like that. Not friends.
Only best friends.
Only lifelong friends.
“Help!!” The forest shouted. He squinted towards the thick forest. But he knew there could be a river there. He could hear sound of water from far away.
“I really need help! Please, help!! Somebody?!!”
“Aiba?!”
“Matsujun?! You sound like Matsujun! The guy who sounds like Matsujun! HELP! PLEASE!”
“It is me, idiot.” Jun said while running down the slope, his hands spontaneously reaching out to the trees as he squinted through the darkness. He almost couldn’t tell where he was going until a lightning struck and revealed a familiar face.
“Aiba!” He shouted. “Give me some light so I can get to you!” He demanded when he saw the torchlight in Aiba’s hand. Rain started to pour roughly as though he had called it. Jun ran and slipped down the slope. His heart beatings fast, Aiba didn’t sound frighten or panic but he was choosing words indicating that he was in some kind of trouble. “I’m coming! Stay put!” Jun said at last before he made a final jump and landed nicely at the river bank.
“Aiba-chan! What-what’s wrong?! Are you hurt? Why are you calling for help?” He asked as he squinted through the pouring rain.
“It’s getting away!”
“What?” Jun almost panicked.
“The FISH!” Aiba cried. He was bent down the river with a fish wriggling in his hand. “Give me your jacket!” Aiba said
“What?!” Jun exhaled, feeling his heartbeats falling. “I thought you’re in trouble” Jun said in disapproval but rolled his jeans anyway and stepped into the river. “I RAN, YOU IDIOT. Like some dog…”
“I think you looked kindda cool” Aiba complimented earnestly before he realized, again, the urgency. “It’s raining. Just give me your jacket!”
“Over my dead body!” Jun almost snarled.
Suddenly Aiba looked up as though he had just saw Jun for the first time. His eyes were wide and lips parted, showing a little of his teeth. “It’s you” He suddenly breathed out, barely reaching Jun’s ears. “It is you”
“Give me a break. You still think I am someone who looks like me?”
“MATSUJUN!” Aiba cried while jumping at him. Letting the fish he had been trying hard to catch slip passing Jun’s ear by inches. The fish took its opportunity that nobody saw coming to swim back into the river. “I really thought you’ll never come! I really thought that you’ll stay at school and do the play. You came!” Aiba said, screaming at Jun’s ears as he held him tight. “Y-you really came”
Jun blinked slowly as though something had struck him.
It came as flashes; how he felt and how they felt. It ran fast through his head the sudden stir he made when he walked down the stage exactly when they lift the curtain. He saw the faces of the crowd that he almost felt as though he did not recognize. He felt delirious as he walked past the teachers. They called out his name and some girls were speaking in panic. Someone pulled his hand but he immediately tugged away. They confronted him and asked him questions and he answered them with uncomforting answers.
Eventually it accumulated; the anger, the frustration he had been feeling for several months. Remembering how he had been working with people who would lean only to him and begged ideas only from him but whispered about him being too detail or too strict-too much.
“You don’t deserve me” He said to them at last.
Somehow they understood.
“I almost thought I wouldn’t be here. I caused quite a stir for sure” He said, smiling for the first time while he pulled Aiba as though pulling a doll away from him. “I really thought I would get yelled at” Aiba was stiffed from all the shock. “How did you get away from all the mess?” Aiba blurted out when he got back to his senses. “No one is going to enroll you to their school if you make a mess. This is a HUGE mess”
“Please don’t remind me”. Before he sighed and pulled out a paper from his jacket. “They saw my previous plays and realized that my perfectionism can be put into much better use. I’m leaving as soon as the school ends and they say they have big plans waiting for me” Jun grinned to himself before he looked up at Aiba and saw the blank face, his smile faded. ‘I’m going away’ was something that was needless to say.
“I don’t even know if this is a good or a bad news anymore”
Aiba smiled.
“It’s good news”
***
“Did he scream like a girl?” Sho asked.
“He whined”
“Well that doesn’t count” Nino grinned.
“I almost died. It was raining cats and dogs!”
“You will not if you had let go of the fish” Jun snorted.
“It was a good fish!”
“You’re the one who said you could die”
“I’m glad everyone is safe” Ohno suddenly said while smiling.
Nino smiled a little before he shoved another stick at the fire. Suddenly there was an easy calming presence when the exchanging blows have died away -he could always thank Ohno for that.
***
They talked a lot that night, it was easy and natural. It was them. They talked about the things only they knew and only they understood. They talked about past and wondered silently about the future. Someone would talk even when not everyone were listening and laughed even before the jokes were made. Once in awhile there would be silences, they didn’t hate it, it was perfect even in silence.
“I’ll miss you guys” Sho said after sometimes. He managed to lie down and squeezed himself between Nino and Ohno, Jun was playing with the fire and he could feel the top of Aiba’s head touching his. “I really will”
“Can’t you wait until after the closing ceremony? It’s only few weeks away” Jun asked.
“Nope, my dad said there’s too much to do. Too many things to deal with and he already asked the school’s permission. I think it’s just because all of it cost him a lot of money”
“Does he pay for everything?” Nino frowned while Ohno started to laugh at Sho’s other side.
“I used to think he paid you to be my friend”
“What makes you think that he didn’t?” Aiba chuckled.
“Your father is broke and I’m still friends with you-ouch!”
“I’m sorry for everything you guys!” Sho suddenly said out loud, to compete with Aiba and Nino’s small quarrel before he turned to his side to face Ohno and shut his eyes.
There was silent afterwards. Sho knew that he didn’t have to say it and it would be embarrassing if he did-he was starting to feel all heated-but he wanted to. If not he knew he would regret it, it matters. He wanted them to know that he didn’t mean it to happen; it was sudden and inconsiderate, most of all childish but he knew he didn’t regret anything.
“You idiot” Jun finally said. “We don’t care”
Sho slowly opened his eyes and saw that Ohno was looking at him.
“I think Sho-chan is really cute”
Sho smiled a little and wondered when will he ever feel that same relief again.
****
They sat by the ocean when the heavy cloud had moved and cuddled around to fit into a blanket Ohno managed to drag out of his bed. It was cold but the sky was almost clear, they could even feel that dawn was coming. They watched as the sun rose slowly, feeling the cold breeze touching their faces as the strong orange light shimmers the ocean. It was so much prettier than the commercial they saw on tv.
A car drove by after awhile, a sign that it was finally time to say goodbye.
“So how do they do this?” Jun suddenly asked, as Sho threw his backpack into the car while telling the driver to wait. “How do people say goodbye?”
Sho made a small shrug while he stopped himself from wondering to avoid the shrinking of his heart. He looked at Jun in the eyes and took a step forward-probably to hug Jun, or to formally shake his hand, or maybe a small peck on his cheek wouldn’t hurt-when suddenly a cracker popped at his face and showered him with small stripes colorful of ribbons.
“SEE YOU SOON!” Aiba shouted at his face before he started honking, again, at Sho’s face.
“We’ll be waiting!” Ohno said with a suspicious excitement while pulling another cracker.
“Do your best!!” Nino said while giving him a rib breaking slam on the back. Nino forced Jun into hugging him before he hung a picture of them at his neck and shove him into the car. “You should get going before Aiba starts crying like a baby.”
Sho laughed while he quickly pulled his left leg to safety to avoid the car’s door that Nino was slamming. He scooted and rolled down the window.
“Goodbye”
Sho said gently, his eyes kind and lips were softly smiling at them before the car drove away with a smooth sound. The small party suddenly died away.
“He didn’t fall for it for even one second” Jun said. “That stupid fake smile and annoying cracking sound” He turned around to look at his devastated looking friends. Nino was no longer on his feet, his face buried in his arms around his legs. Aiba were already sobbing and Ohno were softly tapping Aiba’s back while he pouted and rubbed his teary eyes.
All those efforts were solely made to prevent Sho from seeing that scene.
They didn’t want him to remember them like this.
****
When nobody except them knew that Sho had gone away, it caused a bit of stir. Rumors started to spread that Sho was transferred to study with politicians; someone even said that he had gotten married; or Jun had went down that stage to kick Sho’s ass and bury him somewhere in the woods.
Still, they went to school on as though nothing had happened. They would gather around with other friends and laughed just the way it used to be. They didn’t talk about Sho again but never once acted as though he wasn’t there. There would always be five breads, five cans of carbonated drinks, usually finished by Aiba or packed home by Ohno.
The rest of them went away a day after graduation ceremony. The celebration had been small, the talks would still be long but words were few. They met, pop few more crackers and said goodbye.
By the time everyone else realized there was only Aiba.
He told other people that he thought that they would go out with a bang. All of them, in one day, just burst it all and disappear. Aiba told them that he never thought that they’ll disintegrate, one by one. It didn’t sound right. The word was too scientific, especially for him.
“It ends to this, huh?” She asked.
“Do you come all the way down here to cheer me up, Hanabi?”
She wanted to say yes, but to say that Aiba needs a cheering sounded too heartbreaking. It sounded as though Aiba needs some fixing, as though he was broken into some pieces that become something else that wasn’t Aiba. “No, I came down here to eat.”
“Ha~ those idiots left me here alone!” Aiba said, while scuffing his hair. “Idiots!”
“Well, on the bright side, they are not together either. So everybody hurts…it’ lost, lost kind of game”
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this at all. We were supposed to be great, you know. Like some legendary group that -I don’t know-probably…well, just not something like this!” he stood up. “We were supposed to say goodbye like nobody else did. Like some big…HUGE!-“
“Like getting arrested? Like burning down a house? Killing a person?”
“No” Aiba snorted. “Like-“ Aiba paused and looked blank a little before he took a deep breath and sat down again. It wasn’t true but even Aiba didn’t realize. Everything that he said that was supposed to happen when they’re saying goodbye, it couldn’t be true.
It was all lies.
Aiba never planned on saying goodbye.
***
Epilogue
It begins with a little bit of struggle; everything does. Then it gets better and that always depends. But it always ends; somewhere around the middle or even when it has just started, it doesn’t really matter. Ending can come in most unexpected places, even when the moment is too perfect
They were wet and it was cold but the shelter they found was warm enough. Nino stared at the fire he made with dried sticks they managed to save from the dazzling rain and some coals they bought. The night has ended and the morning was going to come.
Then the rain stopped and there was nothing but the sound of the wave.
I love them. He thought, but he knew he wouldn’t say it out loud -maybe to some stranger he saw passing by, to an old lady he just brought breads from, a dog, not a parrot, a slime -but never to them.
Love, is something that he always put down in a song.
I’ll remember that conversation,
When we were together at the outskirt of the town,
If only we can always stay this way, forever this way,
Even if I’ll go ahead first,
We can always meet here, Always meet here,
A road where no one else can interrupt,
The sound of wave as the only BGM
END
***
A/N: Finally. Done. Sorry it took so long. Sooo… long…*cries*
The song is a real song, Akai Hashi no Densetsu, from Kisarazu Cat’s Eye’s cast. Sho sang it but I don’t know if he wrote it. It does sound Sho-like, though. The song gave a different meaning but I altered the translation a little for it to make sense.
Thank you so much for those who had been reading and commenting. You guys are awesome. I’m so bad at this.
To be honest, to be really, really honest…
I was soooo tempted to end it like this.
Ten years later Facebook was invented.
Ohno uploaded his latest art to his account for his loyal fans.
SakuraiForYou like this.
GohanTensaiAiba like this.
MatsumotoFabulous like this.
YakyuuTensaiNinomiya commented: I love it, Oh-chan<3
P/S: B-but.. wth, right?l-lol…Forgive me=_=”
Pairing: A pairing that consist of five people....
Rating: Pg-13
Aiba never spent a day in his life planning his future.
It wasn’t like he couldn’t do it; he just didn’t want to. He loved the surprises that life brings. He loved the surprises of the consequences that his unplanned actions could lead him to.
Life to him is an experiment.
But once in a while he couldn’t help but wondered that the not planning had lead to lesser results more than the planned ones. If planned things could actually make his life better. Maybe he could enroll himself into a great school, or get job offers at the age of nineteen, or even learn how to cook like Jun.
Or maybe just the power to hold them together.
Maybe he should start planning things just to make sure. Consciously his mind started to run, and he felt it as though he had never made it run before. It’s not like he wasn’t capable, it was just planning needed a lot more vigorous work then eating or making laughable jokes. Planning needs…well, planning needs a lot.
“We’ll eat at 7 and we can set up to camp just before that right?” Aiba blurted out to the others who were squatting just near him, wrestling with their crabs.
Nino looked up as though he had leaves growing on his face. “What?”
“I said, we can set the camp first before eating… and someone should take some water from up the river just before sunset. I’ll be too dark if we wait too long.”
Ohno looked up at Aiba before he blinked and laughed, clutching his sides.
“Oh crap” Nino said, shooting him questioning looks. “He sounds like you, mom, what happened?”
“No crabs for you, Masaki” Sho replied airily.
“I’m just planning things. What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing” Sho said reassuringly.
“Everything” Nino exhaled. “Just peel the crab, ok? And stop saying anything funny” Nino tilt his head at Ohno who was still clutching his sides and showed no sign of an ability to stop himself from laughing. “See, you just broke him”
Aiba stopped talking afterwards, one reason because he couldn’t make a plan and peel crabs at the same time but mostly because Ohno almost had a stomach cramp. Okay, maybe it was too sudden. Maybe he should have waited a while longer before pointing out any good plan. Nino was right, he didn’t sound like himself. But Aiba wasn’t the kind of person that would give up. He made a decision to make a plan and what if it was the step that he needed to take to change his flow of life-or destiny. That sounded experimental already…but of course it wasn’t one. Right? He just needed to be sure
They talked a lot while cooking though, mostly because Sho couldn’t stop himself. But then Nino didn’t eat and Ohno looked sleepy while Sho was occupied with the fact that Nino wasn’t eating. Aiba didn’t talk much either because he felt lost for once-it was dusk and nobody went up the river. He didn’t mind the water much, they have drinks, it was the plan that he was concerned about. He had a plan and to go along with it was the only way to do it.
“Someone should go up the river” He said standing up.
“It’s going to rain” Nino protested.
“What’s wrong Aiba-chan?” Ohno sounded concern.
“Someone should go. That was the plan, right?”
“Don’t worry, we’re not dehydrated, just go tomorrow” Sho reasoned.
“But-“
“It’s already dark” Nino said almost softly, pulling Aiba by his thumb. “Sit down and relax” he said, letting the words ‘Stop acting weird’ just past by silently in his head without voicing it out. He knew, of course, what was working in Aiba’s head. He could always work his way around Aiba’s almost weird way of thinking. Aiba is a genius in a weird way.
Aiba is a genius in an innocent way.
And it has the thinnest line from making completely stupid ideas. Nino knew that was the only reason why he decided to be kind. He understood the panic. He even understood the urge to make a change, but he also wanted Aiba to know that there was nothing that he could do to change anything.
But Nino had no heart to say it.
“Just let him go” Sho said finally looking up at Aiba. “If anything happen just scream like a girl, we’ll come fetch you”
“Or what’s left of you” Nino pouted.
Aiba blinked. “OK” he said shortly, before setting off with a torch light in his hand.
Nino made a small sigh. “Aiba-chan deals with stress by acting weird? Or maybe he was just thinking too much. That’s a bad thing right? Aiba thinking too much.”
“Is there anything good left?” Sho said bitterly while gathering some sticks.
“At least he wants to do something” Ohno said almost bluntly. “At least he’s still hoping and there is no sign of giving up. That’s enough of a good thing, right?” his eyes awake.
“Ah~ so cute” Sho agreed.
“My feelings for you Oh-chan…If this isn’t love, than what is?” Nino mused.
****
Jun had stopped talking to himself when he walked down the road. There were satisfactions on his face, a triumph that he could only get from choosing his own way of doing his things; doing things that he loves. He could still hear the noises the crowd made and the shudder of satisfaction he got when he walked down the stage. The loud murmur of people commenting over his acts; He never felt so much better.
Nobody could give him something like that. Not friends.
Only best friends.
Only lifelong friends.
“Help!!” The forest shouted. He squinted towards the thick forest. But he knew there could be a river there. He could hear sound of water from far away.
“I really need help! Please, help!! Somebody?!!”
“Aiba?!”
“Matsujun?! You sound like Matsujun! The guy who sounds like Matsujun! HELP! PLEASE!”
“It is me, idiot.” Jun said while running down the slope, his hands spontaneously reaching out to the trees as he squinted through the darkness. He almost couldn’t tell where he was going until a lightning struck and revealed a familiar face.
“Aiba!” He shouted. “Give me some light so I can get to you!” He demanded when he saw the torchlight in Aiba’s hand. Rain started to pour roughly as though he had called it. Jun ran and slipped down the slope. His heart beatings fast, Aiba didn’t sound frighten or panic but he was choosing words indicating that he was in some kind of trouble. “I’m coming! Stay put!” Jun said at last before he made a final jump and landed nicely at the river bank.
“Aiba-chan! What-what’s wrong?! Are you hurt? Why are you calling for help?” He asked as he squinted through the pouring rain.
“It’s getting away!”
“What?” Jun almost panicked.
“The FISH!” Aiba cried. He was bent down the river with a fish wriggling in his hand. “Give me your jacket!” Aiba said
“What?!” Jun exhaled, feeling his heartbeats falling. “I thought you’re in trouble” Jun said in disapproval but rolled his jeans anyway and stepped into the river. “I RAN, YOU IDIOT. Like some dog…”
“I think you looked kindda cool” Aiba complimented earnestly before he realized, again, the urgency. “It’s raining. Just give me your jacket!”
“Over my dead body!” Jun almost snarled.
Suddenly Aiba looked up as though he had just saw Jun for the first time. His eyes were wide and lips parted, showing a little of his teeth. “It’s you” He suddenly breathed out, barely reaching Jun’s ears. “It is you”
“Give me a break. You still think I am someone who looks like me?”
“MATSUJUN!” Aiba cried while jumping at him. Letting the fish he had been trying hard to catch slip passing Jun’s ear by inches. The fish took its opportunity that nobody saw coming to swim back into the river. “I really thought you’ll never come! I really thought that you’ll stay at school and do the play. You came!” Aiba said, screaming at Jun’s ears as he held him tight. “Y-you really came”
Jun blinked slowly as though something had struck him.
It came as flashes; how he felt and how they felt. It ran fast through his head the sudden stir he made when he walked down the stage exactly when they lift the curtain. He saw the faces of the crowd that he almost felt as though he did not recognize. He felt delirious as he walked past the teachers. They called out his name and some girls were speaking in panic. Someone pulled his hand but he immediately tugged away. They confronted him and asked him questions and he answered them with uncomforting answers.
Eventually it accumulated; the anger, the frustration he had been feeling for several months. Remembering how he had been working with people who would lean only to him and begged ideas only from him but whispered about him being too detail or too strict-too much.
“You don’t deserve me” He said to them at last.
Somehow they understood.
“I almost thought I wouldn’t be here. I caused quite a stir for sure” He said, smiling for the first time while he pulled Aiba as though pulling a doll away from him. “I really thought I would get yelled at” Aiba was stiffed from all the shock. “How did you get away from all the mess?” Aiba blurted out when he got back to his senses. “No one is going to enroll you to their school if you make a mess. This is a HUGE mess”
“Please don’t remind me”. Before he sighed and pulled out a paper from his jacket. “They saw my previous plays and realized that my perfectionism can be put into much better use. I’m leaving as soon as the school ends and they say they have big plans waiting for me” Jun grinned to himself before he looked up at Aiba and saw the blank face, his smile faded. ‘I’m going away’ was something that was needless to say.
“I don’t even know if this is a good or a bad news anymore”
Aiba smiled.
“It’s good news”
***
“Did he scream like a girl?” Sho asked.
“He whined”
“Well that doesn’t count” Nino grinned.
“I almost died. It was raining cats and dogs!”
“You will not if you had let go of the fish” Jun snorted.
“It was a good fish!”
“You’re the one who said you could die”
“I’m glad everyone is safe” Ohno suddenly said while smiling.
Nino smiled a little before he shoved another stick at the fire. Suddenly there was an easy calming presence when the exchanging blows have died away -he could always thank Ohno for that.
***
They talked a lot that night, it was easy and natural. It was them. They talked about the things only they knew and only they understood. They talked about past and wondered silently about the future. Someone would talk even when not everyone were listening and laughed even before the jokes were made. Once in awhile there would be silences, they didn’t hate it, it was perfect even in silence.
“I’ll miss you guys” Sho said after sometimes. He managed to lie down and squeezed himself between Nino and Ohno, Jun was playing with the fire and he could feel the top of Aiba’s head touching his. “I really will”
“Can’t you wait until after the closing ceremony? It’s only few weeks away” Jun asked.
“Nope, my dad said there’s too much to do. Too many things to deal with and he already asked the school’s permission. I think it’s just because all of it cost him a lot of money”
“Does he pay for everything?” Nino frowned while Ohno started to laugh at Sho’s other side.
“I used to think he paid you to be my friend”
“What makes you think that he didn’t?” Aiba chuckled.
“Your father is broke and I’m still friends with you-ouch!”
“I’m sorry for everything you guys!” Sho suddenly said out loud, to compete with Aiba and Nino’s small quarrel before he turned to his side to face Ohno and shut his eyes.
There was silent afterwards. Sho knew that he didn’t have to say it and it would be embarrassing if he did-he was starting to feel all heated-but he wanted to. If not he knew he would regret it, it matters. He wanted them to know that he didn’t mean it to happen; it was sudden and inconsiderate, most of all childish but he knew he didn’t regret anything.
“You idiot” Jun finally said. “We don’t care”
Sho slowly opened his eyes and saw that Ohno was looking at him.
“I think Sho-chan is really cute”
Sho smiled a little and wondered when will he ever feel that same relief again.
****
They sat by the ocean when the heavy cloud had moved and cuddled around to fit into a blanket Ohno managed to drag out of his bed. It was cold but the sky was almost clear, they could even feel that dawn was coming. They watched as the sun rose slowly, feeling the cold breeze touching their faces as the strong orange light shimmers the ocean. It was so much prettier than the commercial they saw on tv.
A car drove by after awhile, a sign that it was finally time to say goodbye.
“So how do they do this?” Jun suddenly asked, as Sho threw his backpack into the car while telling the driver to wait. “How do people say goodbye?”
Sho made a small shrug while he stopped himself from wondering to avoid the shrinking of his heart. He looked at Jun in the eyes and took a step forward-probably to hug Jun, or to formally shake his hand, or maybe a small peck on his cheek wouldn’t hurt-when suddenly a cracker popped at his face and showered him with small stripes colorful of ribbons.
“SEE YOU SOON!” Aiba shouted at his face before he started honking, again, at Sho’s face.
“We’ll be waiting!” Ohno said with a suspicious excitement while pulling another cracker.
“Do your best!!” Nino said while giving him a rib breaking slam on the back. Nino forced Jun into hugging him before he hung a picture of them at his neck and shove him into the car. “You should get going before Aiba starts crying like a baby.”
Sho laughed while he quickly pulled his left leg to safety to avoid the car’s door that Nino was slamming. He scooted and rolled down the window.
“Goodbye”
Sho said gently, his eyes kind and lips were softly smiling at them before the car drove away with a smooth sound. The small party suddenly died away.
“He didn’t fall for it for even one second” Jun said. “That stupid fake smile and annoying cracking sound” He turned around to look at his devastated looking friends. Nino was no longer on his feet, his face buried in his arms around his legs. Aiba were already sobbing and Ohno were softly tapping Aiba’s back while he pouted and rubbed his teary eyes.
All those efforts were solely made to prevent Sho from seeing that scene.
They didn’t want him to remember them like this.
****
When nobody except them knew that Sho had gone away, it caused a bit of stir. Rumors started to spread that Sho was transferred to study with politicians; someone even said that he had gotten married; or Jun had went down that stage to kick Sho’s ass and bury him somewhere in the woods.
Still, they went to school on as though nothing had happened. They would gather around with other friends and laughed just the way it used to be. They didn’t talk about Sho again but never once acted as though he wasn’t there. There would always be five breads, five cans of carbonated drinks, usually finished by Aiba or packed home by Ohno.
The rest of them went away a day after graduation ceremony. The celebration had been small, the talks would still be long but words were few. They met, pop few more crackers and said goodbye.
By the time everyone else realized there was only Aiba.
He told other people that he thought that they would go out with a bang. All of them, in one day, just burst it all and disappear. Aiba told them that he never thought that they’ll disintegrate, one by one. It didn’t sound right. The word was too scientific, especially for him.
“It ends to this, huh?” She asked.
“Do you come all the way down here to cheer me up, Hanabi?”
She wanted to say yes, but to say that Aiba needs a cheering sounded too heartbreaking. It sounded as though Aiba needs some fixing, as though he was broken into some pieces that become something else that wasn’t Aiba. “No, I came down here to eat.”
“Ha~ those idiots left me here alone!” Aiba said, while scuffing his hair. “Idiots!”
“Well, on the bright side, they are not together either. So everybody hurts…it’ lost, lost kind of game”
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this at all. We were supposed to be great, you know. Like some legendary group that -I don’t know-probably…well, just not something like this!” he stood up. “We were supposed to say goodbye like nobody else did. Like some big…HUGE!-“
“Like getting arrested? Like burning down a house? Killing a person?”
“No” Aiba snorted. “Like-“ Aiba paused and looked blank a little before he took a deep breath and sat down again. It wasn’t true but even Aiba didn’t realize. Everything that he said that was supposed to happen when they’re saying goodbye, it couldn’t be true.
It was all lies.
Aiba never planned on saying goodbye.
***
Epilogue
It begins with a little bit of struggle; everything does. Then it gets better and that always depends. But it always ends; somewhere around the middle or even when it has just started, it doesn’t really matter. Ending can come in most unexpected places, even when the moment is too perfect
They were wet and it was cold but the shelter they found was warm enough. Nino stared at the fire he made with dried sticks they managed to save from the dazzling rain and some coals they bought. The night has ended and the morning was going to come.
Then the rain stopped and there was nothing but the sound of the wave.
I love them. He thought, but he knew he wouldn’t say it out loud -maybe to some stranger he saw passing by, to an old lady he just brought breads from, a dog, not a parrot, a slime -but never to them.
Love, is something that he always put down in a song.
I’ll remember that conversation,
When we were together at the outskirt of the town,
If only we can always stay this way, forever this way,
Even if I’ll go ahead first,
We can always meet here, Always meet here,
A road where no one else can interrupt,
The sound of wave as the only BGM
END
***
A/N: Finally. Done. Sorry it took so long. Sooo… long…*cries*
The song is a real song, Akai Hashi no Densetsu, from Kisarazu Cat’s Eye’s cast. Sho sang it but I don’t know if he wrote it. It does sound Sho-like, though. The song gave a different meaning but I altered the translation a little for it to make sense.
Thank you so much for those who had been reading and commenting. You guys are awesome. I’m so bad at this.
To be honest, to be really, really honest…
I was soooo tempted to end it like this.
Ten years later Facebook was invented.
Ohno uploaded his latest art to his account for his loyal fans.
SakuraiForYou like this.
GohanTensaiAiba like this.
MatsumotoFabulous like this.
YakyuuTensaiNinomiya commented: I love it, Oh-chan<3
P/S: B-but.. wth, right?l-lol…Forgive me=_=”