Weeeeee
So I finally got Das Bunker tonight. It was a nice change of pace from psytrance parties. The darker form of peace and love is nice, but once in while you just need violent physical contact. There was also something very beautiful about hearing Wreath of Barbs on a real sound system not streaming internet audio. I ended up in the Noize room most of the night which is where the moshing happened. It was otherwise quite tame. But whatever I was there for the music. Of course the made me want to combine my two current favorite musics into one party, though I've been wanting to do it for a while. It just reinforced the notion. I guess it would be (dare I even say it) a graver party.
It would start as a typical psytrance party and get darker the way that they tend to do, but then it will just keep getting darker and darker sounding and it will not stop until the sun comes up or everybody passes out.
Back to tonight it was cathartic. This whole having feelings thing is really getting to me. I needed some sort of release for it, and what better way than punching and kicking at human beings and them not getting all pissed about it. The sensory assault is also such a welcome release.
NOw if I could only put that into action and become a little bit more selfish. Sometimes I try too damn hard to help people and just caring too much. Not that it's bad in moderation, but I just let myself get too carried away sometimes and forget about what is best for me. If I'm hurting myself by helping others it's really of no help at all.
Does this leave me back where I began? I hope not and sincerely doubt it. Fuck plans in the short term focus on the long range shit and let the details fill in themselves. That tends to work best. Even if I do supposedly have plans tomorrow, definitely not counting on them.
"Don't place faith in human beings
Human beings are unreliable things
Don't place faith in human beings
Human beings are butterfly wings"
It would start as a typical psytrance party and get darker the way that they tend to do, but then it will just keep getting darker and darker sounding and it will not stop until the sun comes up or everybody passes out.
Back to tonight it was cathartic. This whole having feelings thing is really getting to me. I needed some sort of release for it, and what better way than punching and kicking at human beings and them not getting all pissed about it. The sensory assault is also such a welcome release.
NOw if I could only put that into action and become a little bit more selfish. Sometimes I try too damn hard to help people and just caring too much. Not that it's bad in moderation, but I just let myself get too carried away sometimes and forget about what is best for me. If I'm hurting myself by helping others it's really of no help at all.
Does this leave me back where I began? I hope not and sincerely doubt it. Fuck plans in the short term focus on the long range shit and let the details fill in themselves. That tends to work best. Even if I do supposedly have plans tomorrow, definitely not counting on them.
"Don't place faith in human beings
Human beings are unreliable things
Don't place faith in human beings
Human beings are butterfly wings"