Been a while
So right now my computer is in pieces on the floor of my room, and it will probably stay that way for at least the next week. At least I can use my roommate's computer when he is not here.
Life has been super random. What else is new? Synchronicities everywhere I look. It's just kinda connected chaos, though I am feeling very entropic lately, at least physically. I am in pain. My computer's fucked up. My bike is fucked up. I'm practically broke. I sure there are other things in a general state of decay that I'm not thinking of right now. The weirdest thing is that I'm actually happy or at least content. Am I turning into a hippie (again)? Maybe. Is it possible to still keep my edge? Hells fuckin' yeah!
I keep fluctuating on this love/hate thing. At least it's emotion and feelings. I have been so non-attached lately. I feels so good to feel. Anything... I am becoming way to psytrance for my own good. It feels so right though. That alone scares me into believing that it might be wrong. It really does remind me of Arcata with all the peace and love, but with a darker part. There is something nice about being able to find people to combat dance with in group of space hippies. It seems like we are all destined to repeat the mistakes of the past whether it's psytrance, BM, rainbow families (especially), AMF, Love Parade, MaschineFest (however you spell that shit) whatever...They're all the fucking same thing.
Granted, I would probably end up killing someone at a rainbow gathering, whereas I would probably end up dead at MaschineFest. It all seems like a big distraction from what is really going on...NOTHING. Yeah it's hella fun, but I'm sure Woodstock was fun too. And maybe, just maybe concentrated energy on 2012 really will shape the next era into something better, and maybe if that happens we will even survive to see it, but I still have doubts.
I feel everything collapsing in on itself yet I am still exploding. Maybe I'm behind everybody else. I just feel the need for action. Probably because I'm stuck sitting with this computer instead of doing something. It probably has something to do with me starting to fall in love with someone who probably has even more relationship based baggage than I do. What can I say? I love my unhealthy lifestyle. I just want to isolate myself from the world at large and indulge myself in a world of people like myself. How is that for egocentrism? I'm just really sick of stupid people. I keep dreaming of forests consuming cities. I wake up and enjoy Long Beach like it may sink into the ocean at any minute. I'm just waiting for somthing to turn the world right-side-up. I help in my own way, but it is most likely an exercise in futility. So now I got to figure out what to do with this next week. Stagnation is not an option. I'm all about the Extropy this week. If entropy can exist than so can extropy. I'm ready and I'll be laughing all the way.
Life has been super random. What else is new? Synchronicities everywhere I look. It's just kinda connected chaos, though I am feeling very entropic lately, at least physically. I am in pain. My computer's fucked up. My bike is fucked up. I'm practically broke. I sure there are other things in a general state of decay that I'm not thinking of right now. The weirdest thing is that I'm actually happy or at least content. Am I turning into a hippie (again)? Maybe. Is it possible to still keep my edge? Hells fuckin' yeah!
I keep fluctuating on this love/hate thing. At least it's emotion and feelings. I have been so non-attached lately. I feels so good to feel. Anything... I am becoming way to psytrance for my own good. It feels so right though. That alone scares me into believing that it might be wrong. It really does remind me of Arcata with all the peace and love, but with a darker part. There is something nice about being able to find people to combat dance with in group of space hippies. It seems like we are all destined to repeat the mistakes of the past whether it's psytrance, BM, rainbow families (especially), AMF, Love Parade, MaschineFest (however you spell that shit) whatever...They're all the fucking same thing.
Granted, I would probably end up killing someone at a rainbow gathering, whereas I would probably end up dead at MaschineFest. It all seems like a big distraction from what is really going on...NOTHING. Yeah it's hella fun, but I'm sure Woodstock was fun too. And maybe, just maybe concentrated energy on 2012 really will shape the next era into something better, and maybe if that happens we will even survive to see it, but I still have doubts.
I feel everything collapsing in on itself yet I am still exploding. Maybe I'm behind everybody else. I just feel the need for action. Probably because I'm stuck sitting with this computer instead of doing something. It probably has something to do with me starting to fall in love with someone who probably has even more relationship based baggage than I do. What can I say? I love my unhealthy lifestyle. I just want to isolate myself from the world at large and indulge myself in a world of people like myself. How is that for egocentrism? I'm just really sick of stupid people. I keep dreaming of forests consuming cities. I wake up and enjoy Long Beach like it may sink into the ocean at any minute. I'm just waiting for somthing to turn the world right-side-up. I help in my own way, but it is most likely an exercise in futility. So now I got to figure out what to do with this next week. Stagnation is not an option. I'm all about the Extropy this week. If entropy can exist than so can extropy. I'm ready and I'll be laughing all the way.