I Want To Live! (Side story) Part (2/2)
Title: I Want To Live! (Side story) Part (2/2)
Pairing: (Main) KyuMin, (Side) KangTeuk, HanChul, SiMin (one-sided only)
Genre: Angst, attempted humour (might fail miserably) and romance
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Seriously, do I have to do this everytime?! *annoyed* The boys don’t belong to me. PERIOD.
Notes: Words in ‘italics’ are thoughts/flashbacks.
Summary: Siwon reflects on his past; of bonds, love and endurance with the only one person he cares about- Lee Sungmin. They grew up together, trained together, ate together and even killed together. So why couldn’t he catch Sungmin’s heart?
Main Summary: Lee Sungmin is a trained hitman by the codename ‘MIN’. His only sole purpose is to kill his assignments regardless of their backgrounds. So why did, one fateful night, on the brink of death, he met Cho Kyuhyun? The one who taught him the meaning of life. But then why life, had to be so full of twisted humour?
The hellish training was just the beginning of their nightmares. Every day, they had to wake up before dawn, thrown into the training ground; to learn about weaponry, martial arts, the art of poison, swordplay and etc. By the end of the day, they would all be exhausted to the bone and wouldn’t be able to lift a finger in protest but it didn’t matter because to Siwon, the most important thing was that Sungmin was right beside him and therefore, he endured all the pains and suffering thrown mercilessly at him for he knew that they will always support and encourage each other no matter how bad it things turn out.
He didn’t bother about befriending other kids so long as he had Sungmin and would often ignore them whenever they tried to talk to him. This made him hugely unpopular and he was the exact opposite of Sungmin’s bright character which naturally attracted people around him. He would just sit in his favourite corner quietly whilst Sungmin chatter away excitedly, exchanging views on each weaknesses and strengths and on how to improve their skills in order to avoid being punished by their trainers. As they were kids, they didn’t, at first, understand why they’d been thrust into such heavy workload but after awhile; they started to accept that this as the way of life.
Often would he see Sungmin shed tears of sadness when one by one, the kids that he’d befriended drop dead from the over-exhaustion of the gruelling trainings. Days passed swiftly. Months and years came and gone. Before they knew it, they were approaching the end of their teenage years. Now, there were only a handful of what was left of the big group of kids that had come in not so long ago. Because of that, these five teenagers formed a strong bond because they’re the best of the lot; there was him, of course, and Sungmin, Donghae, Eunhyuk and Heechul. Heechul was an eccentric and loner of the group, much like Siwon, and had absolutely refused to give any contact more than a mere nod now and then.
Donghae and Eunhyuk, on the other hand, stuck close to Sungmin and despite being in the same age group, they would look up to Sungmin as their hyung. Both of them were practically like Siamese twins; inseparable and so alike in their thinking that trainers would often close one eye when they were both up to no good. They excelled in teamwork and strategy planning. But when separated, they were at best, mediocre.
Their ‘graduation’ was coming soon which meant that they will all be separated into different departments within the Headquarters to prove their worthiness and usefulness after years and years of training. It was already decided that the ‘Siamese twins’ would be working in the Planning Department which was notorious for their failsafe plans for every hitman to carry out their assignments whilst it was already pre-decided that Heechul, Sungmin and Siwon were to be dispatched as assassins.
Since Heechul was the eldest, he ‘graduated’ earlier and was sent off to his first assignment. The trainer that chaperoned him came back white-faced, tongue-tied and mumbled incoherently. But Heechul just waltzed back into his room as if nothing happened and went on with his daily routines, awaiting his next assignment. It took a couple of days before Heechul’s chaperone finally opened his mouth to report on what had happened during the course of Heechul’s assignment. Apparently, Heechul was a born natural killer and the years of training only honed his expertise. He was so cruel, sadistic, so efficient and so professional that they named him the ‘Death Princess’ for his beautiful but deadly skills.
Ever since then, they rarely see Heechul because he was so high in demand and would often disappear for weeks or months when more important top secret assignments came up. His failure rate was literally zero and his impeccable record only serves his fearsome reputation. Sungmin had merely shook his head at what a monster Heechul had became and they talked about him no more.
One day, Sungmin walked briskly into the room both him and Siwon shared and dumped a box onto Siwon’s hands who only stared blankly at the poorly wrapped parcel, lost for words at Sungmin’s strange behaviour. Then he looked up at Sungmin with questioning eyes. “Uh... what is this?”
Sungmin groaned and slapped his forehead at Siwon’s stupidity before slamming his fist onto the top of Siwon’s head in hope that it will make him smarter. “It’s a present, idiot! Isn’t it obvious?!” Plopping down beside Siwon, he urged Siwon to quickly unwrap it but still, Siwon hesitated.
“For what?”
Sungmin made an exasperated sound and slapped the back of Siwon’s head hard, causing the latter to lose his balance and fall ungracefully onto the floor. “What is your head filled with?! Cotton?! Geez, must I spell every word?” Sungmin threw his hands up and silently prayed that Siwon was not as dumb as he looked. “It annoyed me that I didn’t know a lot of things about you like your birthday. So, I decided to get you a birthday present!”
“Birthday present.” Siwon echoed hollowly. His eyes going back to the parcel in his hands, his mind blank.
Sungmin rolled his eyes and bent down to Siwon’s eye level. “You heard that right. It is a birthday present for you, Siwon. Besides, I wouldn’t be a very good hyung if I didn’t take care of his dongsaeng.” He said triumphantly, chattering away by himself as if he’d done a very good thing and that he should be thanked and praised for. “I thought that since I’ve never really done anything for you for all these years, this would be a good way to start.”
But Siwon’s attention had zoned out as he continued to stare at the little heavy parcel in his hands. Tears were brimming in his eyes, his chest tight and various emotions exploded within him. He’d remembered the times when he had been showered with presents every single day, regardless of the size and price, by his parents, their rich snotty friends and strangers who had wanted to please his parents. They had been eyesores and rubbish because it cluttered his very spacious and lonely room. He’d thought very little of them and often shown distaste and anger for such useless things. But now, it was different. This present in his hands was given to him by Sungmin after much thought and that made him very, very happy.
“Well? Aren’t you going to unwrap it?” Sungmin asked, his owl-like eyes blinking in anticipation. “It’s not going to unwrap by itself if you just stare at it.”
Siwon swallowed the rising lump in his throat and pushed down his excitement as he began to unwrap the paper with shaky hands ever so slowly, for fear that the present might break into little pieces if he handled it roughly. Lo and behold, what was revealed was that of a Bible. Confused, he looked up at a perplexed Sungmin.
“I noticed that you’re always holding the Bible when you sleep. Since yours look worn out, I got you a new one!” Sungmin said excitedly. The reason why Siwon kept the Bible so close to him was because it reminded him of Sungmin and that even when he slept, he missed being awake by Sungmin’s side. “I made the cover myself!!” He exclaimed excitedly as he flipped the front cover open and tapped at the clumsily scrawled handwriting. “Look here! I even wrote something for you to remember me.” Siwon then focused hard on what was written.
To my dongsaeng Siwon, we will always to be together.
Your hyung, Sungmin.
It was then he realized that his brotherly love might be something else. The weird clenching in his heart whenever he saw Sungmin getting close with another child made him rather jealous and he didn’t like that feeling. In fact, he loathed it. He felt that Sungmin only belonged to him but he thought that if he ever voiced it out, Sungmin might shun him and abandon him like his parents did. So, he kept quiet and silently observed Sungmin, convincing himself that he will be content with just being by Sungmin’s side forever.
They were going to be forever, weren’t they?
When Sungmin was sent on his first assignment, Siwon was worried to death. He had paced to and fro the room, waiting for his hyung to come back to his side. Fear gnawed inside of him, his hand were cold and clammy and he prayed desperately for Sungmin to return alive because he’d seen other youngsters who were deemed ready, returned to the Headquarters as corpses for they had failed in their assignments. He didn’t want the same fate to happen to Sungmin. Clutching his head, he screamed silently at all the grotesque scenes of how the end result would be.
Then a warm hand caressed the top of his head and Siwon looked up miserably, relief washing through him. “H-hyung!” He pounced onto Sungmin and thanked God over and over again for His protection over the older teenage boy. It was then he realized that something was dreadfully wrong. Sungmin was not returning his hug; he slowly released his hold and took a good look. Sungmin was covered in splotches of blood, there was a vacant look in his face, his eyes were glassy and unfocused, his breathing was slightly laboured, a few bloody gashes over his arms and knees but a very alive Lee Sungmin.
That night, the Sungmin that Siwon knew had ‘died’ and MIN was born. He was no longer the loving hyung who would tease and joke with Siwon. There was no more love in his eyes and the tenderness had disappeared almost entirely. Siwon had never asked about Sungmin’s first kill but instead he chose to silently continue to stay by Sungmin’s side no matter what happens because deep down, he believed that the Sungmin that he knew was buried somewhere.
So when Siwon was sent to his first assignment, fear had seized him once again and desperation to be the last person standing drove him almost to the brink of madness. That night, exactly six months after MIN’s first assignment, Priest was born. It wasn’t because he wanted to succeed but he needed to be by Sungmin’s side when dawn breaks. Before Sungmin wakes up and find that he is no longer there. He just couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Sungmin to fend for himself whenever he goes off to other assignments. Anything can go wrong. Although he will never be able to see Sungmin’s smile anymore but to have him alive and breathing beside him was more than enough. Siwon will never ask for more.
So when he’d heard about Sungmin’s disappearance, all hell broke loose. He had lost control and went berserk till he had to be subdued by eight men tranquilised. After they were sure that he had calmed down, they released him but Siwon was all but calm, he was infuriated! How could such thing happen?! Sungmin had never been careless before. A million questions flooded his mind as to what had actually happened to his beloved Sungmin. For the first time in his life, he feared that he might lose Sungmin forever to the unknown. And thus, he had undertaken the arduous task of locating Sungmin when the initial Tracker Team failed to do; which was rather rare because they were the best of the best.
He’s been searching around the area of Sungmin’s reported disappearance like a deathly spectre, sacrificing sleep and rest in order to find Sungmin. The heavy rain from that night had washed away most of the evidence but there was still some remaining blood which the Headquarters had confirmed that it belonged to Sungmin. The hysteria that had surged in him when he found Sungmin’s dried blood was gnawing his steely nerves to bits and hope of ever finding Sungmin alive was slowly dissipating into nothingness. But there was absolutely no way that he will admit defeat. No, Siwon was a very sore loser. He was the type that would bite Fate in the arse should things not go his own way. He then reinforced his resolution and continued about his fruitless search, ignoring the orders from the Headquarters to cease all action and allow the Tracker Team to continue with their duties.
Chewing his thumb, he tried to process whatever limited information he had. If Sungmin was badly hurt, he wouldn’t have gone far. And he refused to believe that he was dead and his body disposed of. Therefore, Siwon concluded that Sungmin might’ve been saved by someone who lived nearby. But where? He was in the very heart of the busy city with thousands of people walking about during the busy hours of the day. There was no way that Sungmin could’ve been transported in an ambulance because then the police would’ve been alerted and the Headquarters would’ve had located him.
“Sungmin, Sungmin... where are you? You have to come back to me.”
Searching the surrounding area, building by building, apartment by apartment, Siwon did all but give up. Then he expanded the perimeters of his search till one fine day, as he perched on the rooftop of some nameless building, exhaustion taking over his battered and tired body, a familiar figure hovered near the window at some distance away. At first, Siwon thought that it was his eyes playing games with him because of the fatigue but on closer inspection, he’d finally found Sungmin! Alive and well but injured as his upper torso had been bandaged by somebody who knew his stuff.
Siwon had wondered why Sungmin never reported back despite being up and about. So he decided to spy on his older hyung’s socalled saviour and their daily routines and activities. Little did he know, he was so repulsed by how mundane and normal it was. Nothing about their lives as trained assassins was this boring. Anger pricked his cool nerves when he saw how loving and tender Sungmin was to this young saviour of his. Jealousy surged almost instantly, threatening to overcome his calm exterior and his hands itch to slice him apart for touching what was his. He knew then that Lee Sungmin had fallen in love but not him.
Still, he had a duty and responsibility to report about his findings to the Headquarters. However, he could not resist the temptation to force Sungmin to give up his love. Siwon understood then he could wait no longer for Sungmin to come to him. In order to speed things up, he’d decided to force his way into Sungmin’s heart.
Because they will always be together forever.
***END OF FLASHBACK***
It was a nice thing to reminiscence about the past especially the time where he met Lee Sungmin for the first time. How could he ever forget the awkwardness that had passed through them during that time? It was the first time he had actually thanked his ungrateful parents to bring him into this world and allow him an opportunity to meet the smiling angel that had literally saved his desolate soul. He was a self-proclaimed Sungmin stalker.
Looking through his binoculars, he scanned the area, humming softly to himself as he waited for a sign that the target was about to arrive. There it was. A sleek black limousine with dark tinted windows was approaching the intended location. “Target’s here.” He knew that Sungmin is already in position to take out the target. Once this assignment was over, they had a lot of things to talk about because they can’t remain in this awkwardness forever.
Time seem to crawl ever so slowly. It was almost agonizing to just wait for the target to get off his vehicle. Stroking his beloved M-16A4 which was equipped with the latest ACOG, he had been tasked to finish of the target should MIN fail to do so. But he had confidence in MIN’s skills. There was just no way Sungmin will fail on such a petty task. Even if it’s the legendary Kim Young-woon protecting him. People like him were ancient, the story of the yesteryears. Technology nowadays was different from then and he didn’t understand why the Headquarters was so agitated over one man?
Especially one which was so careless?
It was all so simple. He almost laughed out loud. The young master was now stepping out of the bullet-proof vehicle. “Sungmin-sshi, target is exiting the vehicle.” This will all be over in an instant. Might as well pack his stuff and get ready to leave. He shifted his sight to where Sungmin was located and smiled at how serious and sexy Sungmin looked while he was doing his job. There was no way that he will ever tire of this marvellous sight.
Shaking his head and silently scolding himself that he needed to be professional, he shifted his gaze back to the intended target and his jaw practically dropped to the ground at the sight of the young master that filled his sight. CHO KYUHYUN!?! This is impossible! He’s the young master?!? His eyes widened in disbelief as he recognised that dark mop of hair. Quickly realising that he was gaping like an idiot, he hoped that Sungmin will immediately take care of the target without realising who it was. This was bad, bad news. Frantic, he lost all calm composure earlier and screamed, “Take the target down now. Sungmin-sshi! SUNGMIN!! TAKE HIM OUT NOW! DO YOU HEAR ME!?!”
Which he obviously didn’t because there was a loud CRACK and a loud annoying shrill filled his ear, threatening to burst his eardrum. Cursing loudly, he ripped the receiver from his ear and threw it away carelessly. It was obvious that from Sungmin’s actions, he had already seen the young master’s face. There was no turning back. “Shit!” He cursed when he turned his binoculars towards Sungmin and saw the Death Princess stealthily approaching Sungmin like a silent death god. “Sungmin! Sungmin!!” Throwing his binoculars aside, he called out, trying to get some sort of attention from him but to no avail.
Quickly shifting his Rifle towards the Sungmin’s direction, he looked through his scope and tried to focus on the Death Princess to get a shot. His hands were cold and clammy, his nerves screaming with worry as panic washed over him like a wet blanket. This was all just so clichéd! How can such a terrible event even happen to them?! I just need a good and clear shot at that blasted Death Princess! COME ON!!! He could still see that Sungmin hadn’t notice Kim Heechul’s presence behind him because he was just so focused at his target. Taking a good aim, he swallowed the bile in his throat, swearing that no harm will come to his beloved Sungmin.
Then he felt it. A sharp prick to his neck. Turning to see the culprit, he inwardly cursed at his carelessness for not realising it sooner. Pulling at the cause of the nuisance, he winced.
“Mianhae, but I can’t let you shoot Heechul.” There was a clear foreign accent in that voice.
Siwon looked dumbly at the small dart between his fingers and then at the tall and lanky Chinese man. Cursing, he felt dumb for not noticing this man. He could already feel the drug progressing rapidly in his system, almost immediately immobilising him. “Wha-” He managed out before he collapsed onto his knees and his whole body fell with a loud thud onto the hot and rough floor. How could he had been so careless?!
“It’s a little drug Wookie created.” The Chinese man hummed happily. “Quite handy too! As you are experiencing, it’s called Immobiliser.” Siwon couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the dumb name. “Hey, I saw that! But nevermind,” Hankyung chuckled. “It’s working. You’ll be out for a few hours.” Picking up the binoculars that Siwon had discarded earlier, he turned towards the direction where Sungmin was and exclaimed, “Oh! Heechul’s done with his job.”
Panic overwhelmed him. He needed to know what happened to Sungmin. Fighting the drug with all his strength, he forced his arm to work and with all his remaining strength, he grabbed hold of the Chinese man’s leg. Hankyung let out a cry of surprise at the sudden attack but that was the most he could do.
“Geez, that scared me.” He squatted down to look at Siwon’s unfocused eyes. “Man, you’re one tough cookie.” He flicked Siwon’s forehead and another grin plastered on his face when Siwon winced. “Luckily Kyuhyun warned me.”
Kyuhyun warned you?
The Chinese man swatted his hand away and got up. As he turned to leave, he left a disturbing sentence that echoed endlessly in Siwon’s unfocused mind. “I hope we never see each other again.”
Does that mean that he will never be able to see Sungmin again?! NO! That can’t happen!! However, those were the last disturbing thoughts he had before the drug finally shut down his system and his consciousness blacked out.
Sungmin... Sungmin...
Don’t go...
-to be continued-
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A/N: One of my readers had requested me to write about Siwon and so I thought that I’ll take that opportunity to explain to you all about Siwon’s obsession over Sungmin. He is actually quite pitiful and he views Sungmin as his safeline. Who wouldn’t want an angel like Sungmin to smile over them? LOL...
Okay, I’ve began to notice that my writings are getting a little sloppy because I’m getting irritated at writing down the small details in the story. Updates are going to be irregular from now on. My exams are really close and I have to do a lot of revision so I’m going to be pretty busy from now onwards. However, I promise that I will not abandon this fic and will update whenever I can.