"I see your motives inside. Your decision to hide..."
God. My parents are pissing me the fuck off. My dad and I are barely speaking. Well what happened was yesterday after school, he picked me up and took me to my mom's school. On the way there, I was telling him about how I was getting a C in Math Analysis and I said, "aren't you proud of me?" cuz I brought it up from a D+ to a C. He said he wasn't proud of me. We started arguing and I just broke down in tears. I was like, "can't you ever be proud of me? Won't I ever be good enough for you??" and shit like that. I was hella upset. Then I got to my mom's school and waited in her classroom for school to be over. When the bell rang I went into Ms. Hillegass's class and started crying again. My parents think I am getting that grade cuz I'm not doing my work. So last night I took out all my math analysis work and proved to my mom that I got A's on everything (hwk quiz, classwork, etc...) except my tests. I called Ryan yesterday cuz we were supposed to hang out but he was sick. I was like "FUCK!" I wanted him to come get me cuz I didn't want to be there. But he was sick so I couldn't do anything about that. I ended up just working in Ms. Hillegass's class sharpening pencils for the STAR testing today. It's nice when I'm with her cuz I don't have to deal with my parents and shit. It's like, I never wanna be here. If I could, I'd have Ryan pick me up everyday after school like he does with all his other friends. But it's really far away and I doubt he'd do it. I really don't know if anything is gonna happen between us. It's funny cuz I talk about him as if he WERE my boyfriend already.Everyone thinks we're gonna get back together but I dunno...I want to but I don't think he wants to. I want to talk to him about it but Alyssa is always on that damn phone talking to Jesse so I can never get through. I was trying to call so I could ask Ryan if he wanted to go to Six Flags on Sunday but I can't get through...no surprise! LoL! But...yeah...Heather, I'm sorry you feel lonely. I'm lonely too. I'm probably chasing after someone that'll never want me...like a wild goose chase...so...yeah...I guess I'll go now...ttfn...