worth it
title: worth it
rating: r
pairings: taoris, slight hunhan
summary: what is the use of struggling through a long distance relationship, when the plan isn't even to end up together in the end, anyway?
continuation of on a boat, for AsianReputation who wanted taoris reuniting.
The video feed opens, a forehead and a tuft of messy black hair is all Kris sees before he hears a laugh and Tao stands to adjust the camera. "Hi." His smile is more breathtaking than usual once he takes a seat again, Kris thinks, but maybe that's because he hasn't seen it for so long.
"Hi," he lifts a hand to wave, and Tao returns it. "We finally got webcams."
"We did. Why did it take us so long to do this?" He leans back in his chair. The connection isn't that good, so the image quality isn't great, but it's still a thousand times better than just hearing his voice.
"You're so tanned," Kris states as he takes in his boyfriends appearance. That's not the only thing about him that's different, his hair is a lot shorter than it was in the last self cam he took for Kris, and he has yet another piercing in his ears; his second cartilage. Kris usually thinks so many piercings can be a little tacky, but when it comes to Tao, it's nothing short of absolutely sexy.
"That's because it's actually hot here," Tao muses. "Whereas you might as well become a polar bear, living in the Great North like that."
"It's hot here too," Kris laughs. Tao's gaze softens then; he's made it clear on multiple occasions that he loves it when Kris expresses his happiness, more than anything else. "I'm not actually that much further north than you. Only the winter is colder, the summer is around the same."
"Is that so?" Tao asks. Kris nods, and they sit there for a few moments in silence afterwards, just basking in the fact that they're face to face for the first time in months, and even though an ocean still separates them, they feel so much closer.
"Weren't you going to show me your new tattoo?" Kris asks eventually. Tao had been so excited that he'd gotten a tattoo that Kris is rather surprised he hasn't already seen it.
"Right!!" Tao jumps up from his chair and tugs his shirt over his head. He tosses it aside before reaching to readjust the camera again. It's a beautiful tattoo, a large, ferocious dragon over his shoulder, extended wings and a spiky tail trailing down his side, curling at the end near his waist.
"That's..." Gorgeous is an understatement, Kris doesn't really know how to word it. He reaches up to trail his fingers along the spine through the screen. Imagining that it's Tao's skin instead has him releasing a shaky breath and shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
Tao puts the camera back to its proper position, and he sits back down. "I know that face," he says, eyes narrowed as he scrutinizes his screen. "Did you really like it that much?"
Their relationship is far past the point of embarrassment over these things, so Kris just nods and pops open his jeans with fumbling fingers. Tao places his elbow on his desk and rests his chin on his hand, focusing hard. He's always been quite the voyeur.
"I wanna see all of this," he says. "Move back so you're in the frame."
Kris obeys, rolling his chair back a few feet. Tao lets out a whimper of satisfaction when Kris pulls his boxers out of the way and his erection springs up, hot and heavy against his abdomen. God, it feels so good.
“I want to see both your hands at all times,” Kris exhales as he grazes a thumb over his tip, the same way Tao does when they sleep together. It’s not really the same, but he’s already hard and needy and his imagination is good enough. “I don’t want to… mmm.” Tao chuckles and raises his other hand into the air.
“Don’t worry, Kris. I won’t take any screencaps.” He promises, and Kris gives one jerk of his head-a failed attempt at a nod-before pushing his shirt up and wrapping a hand around his erection, imagining it was Tao riding him as he pumped himself slowly, lazily.
If he had his way, he’d be running his hands all over Tao’s luscious torso, down his sides and then gripping onto his butt cheeks, forcing him to move faster because the pace was driving him crazy. Or he’d be pressing his lips against his skin at that tattoo, kissing every inch of it he could reach while he holds their erections together, hips jerking sporadically because it feels so good, too good.
Tao is whispering words to him through his mic, but Kris can barely hear him, too lost in his own thoughts and the oncoming orgasm. He comes hard, all over his hand and his shirt, and he slumps back in the chair, smiling to himself in silence as he calms down from his high.
“That was really, really hot.” Tao’s cheeks are peppered with pink. Kris covers his eyes with the back of his hand and laughs a little deliriously.
After being a mostly long-distance couple for a few years, phone sex was becoming a little more than dry. The webcam and the tattoo were doing amazing things to increase his libido.
“What about you?” He knows Tao’s aroused face as much as Tao knows his, and he thinks that Tao deserves to have his turn, too.
“I’m fine.” Tao waves a hand at him, straightening up in his chair and releasing a shuddering breath. “I recorded that, so I’ll just enjoy it later.”
“Hey,” He’d be angry, but he’s satiated and very happy. “I hope no one else see’s it…”
“Don’t you worry, gege,” Tao teases. “I’ll keep it for myself and a few of our closest friends.”
He sighs, runs his unsoiled hand through his hair and then looks up at his boyfriend, one of his rare, genuine smiles sneaking onto his face. “I love you,” he says boldly, and Tao’s blush deepens. “I love you so much. I really can’t deal with living this far from you.”
“Me too, Kris. Me too…”
“Move to Canada, then,” He leans back in his chair again and stares up at the ceiling. He should probably go wash his hands, he thinks, and change his shirt. He’s not quite prepared to leave Tao yet, though. “Just move in with me. I have room.”
“Kris, you’re not being serious, are you?” Tao asks him, looking confused and a little bit put off. Not very promising, Kris thinks.
“Of course I am. Come here, come live with me. I want to take care of you.”
“That’s…” The color is draining from his cheeks, and Kris sits up straight then, realizing he may have just said the very wrong thing. “Not going to happen, Kris.”
He’s curious, though, so he can’t help but press the matter. “What? Why?” He asks. He doesn’t want to make Tao angry, but he needs to know.
“I can’t just pack up my life and move to Canada for you, Kris. What about my parents? School? I don’t know English. I’m not a social butterfly, like you, I can’t make friends with everybody. I’m better off here.”
“You’re better off with me.” Kris whispers it. He doesn’t know if Tao hears him, because he doesn’t show any reaction at all.
“I have to go now, Kris. I’ll talk to you later.” He cuts the connection before Kris can reply. Kris is a little more than shell-shocked, his happiness quickly disappearing as he goes over that conversation in his head. He was sure Tao would be elated to hear something like that, positive, and this reaction was surprising in the worst of ways.
They break up four days later, Kris finally snapping in the middle of a brief phone conversation. What’s a long distance relationship when there’s no chance for us to be together in the end, anyway?
-
Heechul gets frustrated with Kris and Tao’s complicated rooming arrangements every year that they book the cruise together; the week-long overlap really throws off their system. But he understands their situation, that the cruise is one of the only places they get to see each other, so he deals with it. He bends over backwards for them-he does it because they’re young and in love and he kind of misses that feeling.
Kris doesn’t say anything about the overlap this time, and Heechul assumes it’s because Kris expects him to know already, so he does the same thing as usual, books Kris into the room for the trip from Canada to China, both of them for the main part of the cruise, and then Tao alone for the return trip. He feels accomplished and very happy that he managed without any major problems this time, but that feeling doesn’t last long.
A few hours after the boat docks in China, he has a very angry panda-child screaming at him in a language he doesn’t understand (regardless of the nationality of a certain ex-boyfriend), and a gigantically tall, very sexy man looking like he might shoot someone.
Heechul doesn’t actually have to say anything in the end, though. Tao switches his attention to Kris, and after fifteen minutes of full out open warfare, Kris pulls Tao closer and crushes their mouths together.
That shuts him up quite effectively. Heechul’s only regret is that he wishes he could have understood exactly what had been said.
-
“We’re stupid, aren’t we?” Tao muses as he traces his name into Kris’ stomach with his finger, smiling against his chest. A total of nine months they’d been broken up, and now that they were back on the cruise, it was like it hadn’t happened at all. “We shouldn’t of ended things between us.”
“I still called you my boyfriend,” Kris admits. Tao shifts so he can reach up and press soft kisses to the tip of Kris’ chin. The only thing that really changed between them, was no more phone sex, and no more desperate I love you’s at the end of every conversation. The only thing they hadn’t mentioned to each other was the fact that they were both still going on the cruise. Heechul’s little mistake definitely turned out to be a blessing in disguise, though.
“I did the same,” Tao giggles. Kris reaches over him to turn off their bedside lamp, and then wraps his arms protectively around his boy, kissing the side of his head and then snuggling close.
They have a lot to talk about, definitely, but that can certainly wait until the morning. For now, he just wants to fall asleep in the arms of the one he loves.
-
Luhan comes to visit Kris in Canada one week in December, because he’s always wanted to see the mountains Kris has taken so many photos of, in person. Kris isn’t able to take much time off work, so they end up spending mostly the evenings together, going for meals at all the best restaurants and going for long drives around the mountainsides, taking in the scenery while they can. Kris lives there, sure, but his job is really demanding, so he doesn’t get much time to enjoy the nature. Luhan is the perfect excuse.
On Luhan’s last night there, they go to Kris’ absolute favorite place to eat, a Japanese noodle restaurant named Benkei, not far from the university campus. They had been avoiding touchy subjects for the majority of the trip, but keeping quiet is especially hard with alcohol in their systems.
“You know, we still haven’t had sex. Properly.” Luhan’s moping into his shot glass. Kris scrunches up his nose and then inevitably reaches for his own and fills it up with sake, downing it in one big gulp. “I love him. He’s everything to me. I won’t ever do anything that makes him uncomfortable, you know me, but sometimes I just. Ugh. Kinda wanna handcuff him into the bed frame and force him to fuck me.”
“Pretty sure that’s rape,” Kris points an accusing finger at his friend, and they both giggle when he accidentally spills the sake in his hand all over the table.
“Well it’s better than me tying him up and then fucking him,” Luhan says. They share another laugh; Luhan loves being the bottom, he only ever tops if he absolutely cannot avoid it. “But hey, at least he’s not scared of my dick anymore. It’s almost like he’s actually having fun when he blows me. He’s even offered to a few times. In non sexual situations.”
Kris thinks Luhan is lucky; falling in love with a straight man was always his biggest fear when he came out of the closet. Luhan’s just lucky he managed to fall for the one who was never really closed minded to dating men in the first place. Even having to go a year and a half without taking that next step in their relationship seems worth it with all of that taken into consideration, but maybe Kris is a little too used to being so far from his lover that he really has no right to comment.
“How’s Tao doing, anyway?” He feels weird being the one asking this, but Luhan had stopped in Beijing before heading to Canada, so the two went for a meal together.
“He’s fine. Same old. He misses you. Too much. You’re kind of cruel, you know?”
“Eh?” Kris is having a little trouble keeping up. “Cruel, why?”
“I’ve never known someone so clingy and reliant before in my life. You start a relationship with him and then move to Canada. He needs you. And you’re not even in the same country as him. I think it kills him.”
“He seems…” Kris starts feebly, Luhan just rolls his eyes and pours himself more sake. “I asked him to move to Canada. He said no. If he… needs me so much, why didn’t he come?”
“You asked a 20 year old kid who doesn’t know a word of English to move to Canada with you, Kris. Of course he’s gonna say no.”
“What do you expect me to do, then?”
Luhan downs his shot and then looks at Kris seriously. “It’s not like you really like your job anyway.” He states, and then stands up to pay their bill. Kris is left to think, and that’s exactly what he does.
The pros and cons list would go on for miles, but the one thing that’s for certain is, Tao has been the one constant in his life, the thing that keeps him motivated to get from point a to b. That boy is the love of his life, and there’s nothing Kris can think of that’s more important.
-
“Kris, why are you calling me at this time? It’s the middle of the night.” Tao yawns into the mouthpiece, loud and unashamed. He’s been receiving a lot of suspiciously late conversations from his boyfriend, who is usually very conscious of the time difference and usually only calls when he knows Tao will be awake.
“I miss you,” is the simple, whispered reply. Tao rolls off his futon and crawls to the other side of the room, presses the switch on the lamp and then sits cross-legged next to it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“No. I’m awake already, what’s on your mind?”
Kris hums for a few moments, Tao knows it’s because he’s trying to string his thoughts into speak-able words. He stays silent, fidgeting with the hole on the thigh of the track-pants he so often wears to bed.
“You’re younger than me, Tao,” Kris says slowly, tentatively. “But I’ve never questioned your seriousness when it comes to our relationship. You’ve made it clear how much you love me.”
“Yeah?” Tao presses lightly. He’s not entirely sure what Kris is getting at.
”But sometimes I wonder if you’ll love me forever.”
He wants to say of course he will, but he can’t make any promises for the future. Loving Kris, being with him, has become his second nature, and he can’t imagine living a life without that man. “I don’t know, Kris.” He says. “But I know that I want to. We even sucked at breaking up, didn’t we? I really don’t want to think about my future when I’m scared you won’t be in it.”
“Tao…” Kris sighs, and Tao knows he said the right thing. “I think I’ve made my decision, then.” He’s not sure what this decision entails, but that feeling at the pit of his stomach is telling him it’ll definitely be a good thing.
-
Quitting his job is the first step Kris takes. His management is surprised, but thankful he stuck by the company for so long. They give him a nice big bonus on his last pay, and tell him to do something special with it. Something special; well, he can think of exactly what.
He rents a beautiful studio apartment in Beijing, close enough to the center to be near everything important. He calls Tao up a few weeks after he settles in, and gives the confused boy directions to the apartment, not wanting to say much to give this away.
Tao shows up barely 20 minutes later, knocking three times on the door, pushing his way in as soon as Kris opens it a crack. He’s breathing heavily, looking like he just ran a marathon. “What’s this about? What’s going on? He demands, and Kris doesn’t answer him; only pulls him into a hug.
“When you told me you wouldn’t move to Canada to be with me, you really broke my heart.” Kris says slowly. Tao’s fingers curl into his jacket at his shoulder blades. “I didn’t think at the time though, that you had everything to lose and nothing to gain by moving there. But I…everything I exist for is here. Wherever you are.”
“Nothing to gain?” Tao asks, his voice heavily muffled by Kris’ chest. He pulls back slightly so he can look up into his face. He’s crying. He’s such an emotional boy; but Kris loves that about him. Loves everything about him. “That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?”
“You know what I mean.” They kiss then, and Kris is distracted by roaming hands, by teeth tugging gently at his bottom lip. It’s been far too long since he’s felt this, so he allows himself to get lost in it for a moment. “This apartment,” he says breathlessly. Tao’s eyes have already lit up, his mouth curving into a wide smile. He’s nodding, a little prematurely in comparison to how the situation went inside Kris’ head when he spent all day planning it. “It’s for you. Us. You turned me down when it came to Canada, so the least you can do is live with me here.”
-
LOL fail ending I’m sorry guys this was all a fail.
I wrote this for AsianReputation on AFF, since she won that little…raffle? Thing. Ish. I did at the end of Boat. She wanted reunion, I wanted closure, so I mixed both our wants. TBF I thought of backstories for ALL THE COUPLES IN THIS FIC even heechul/hangeng and taoris is the only one I had absolutely nothing for.
I honestly was just like, k, long distance relationship, tao will be sad when kris leaves
And that was IT. I didn’t realize people would be so into this pair, lol.
I’m working on a lot right now, but I’d really like to write a hunhan arc for this fic too, might not be done for a while.
rating: r
pairings: taoris, slight hunhan
summary: what is the use of struggling through a long distance relationship, when the plan isn't even to end up together in the end, anyway?
continuation of on a boat, for AsianReputation who wanted taoris reuniting.
The video feed opens, a forehead and a tuft of messy black hair is all Kris sees before he hears a laugh and Tao stands to adjust the camera. "Hi." His smile is more breathtaking than usual once he takes a seat again, Kris thinks, but maybe that's because he hasn't seen it for so long.
"Hi," he lifts a hand to wave, and Tao returns it. "We finally got webcams."
"We did. Why did it take us so long to do this?" He leans back in his chair. The connection isn't that good, so the image quality isn't great, but it's still a thousand times better than just hearing his voice.
"You're so tanned," Kris states as he takes in his boyfriends appearance. That's not the only thing about him that's different, his hair is a lot shorter than it was in the last self cam he took for Kris, and he has yet another piercing in his ears; his second cartilage. Kris usually thinks so many piercings can be a little tacky, but when it comes to Tao, it's nothing short of absolutely sexy.
"That's because it's actually hot here," Tao muses. "Whereas you might as well become a polar bear, living in the Great North like that."
"It's hot here too," Kris laughs. Tao's gaze softens then; he's made it clear on multiple occasions that he loves it when Kris expresses his happiness, more than anything else. "I'm not actually that much further north than you. Only the winter is colder, the summer is around the same."
"Is that so?" Tao asks. Kris nods, and they sit there for a few moments in silence afterwards, just basking in the fact that they're face to face for the first time in months, and even though an ocean still separates them, they feel so much closer.
"Weren't you going to show me your new tattoo?" Kris asks eventually. Tao had been so excited that he'd gotten a tattoo that Kris is rather surprised he hasn't already seen it.
"Right!!" Tao jumps up from his chair and tugs his shirt over his head. He tosses it aside before reaching to readjust the camera again. It's a beautiful tattoo, a large, ferocious dragon over his shoulder, extended wings and a spiky tail trailing down his side, curling at the end near his waist.
"That's..." Gorgeous is an understatement, Kris doesn't really know how to word it. He reaches up to trail his fingers along the spine through the screen. Imagining that it's Tao's skin instead has him releasing a shaky breath and shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
Tao puts the camera back to its proper position, and he sits back down. "I know that face," he says, eyes narrowed as he scrutinizes his screen. "Did you really like it that much?"
Their relationship is far past the point of embarrassment over these things, so Kris just nods and pops open his jeans with fumbling fingers. Tao places his elbow on his desk and rests his chin on his hand, focusing hard. He's always been quite the voyeur.
"I wanna see all of this," he says. "Move back so you're in the frame."
Kris obeys, rolling his chair back a few feet. Tao lets out a whimper of satisfaction when Kris pulls his boxers out of the way and his erection springs up, hot and heavy against his abdomen. God, it feels so good.
“I want to see both your hands at all times,” Kris exhales as he grazes a thumb over his tip, the same way Tao does when they sleep together. It’s not really the same, but he’s already hard and needy and his imagination is good enough. “I don’t want to… mmm.” Tao chuckles and raises his other hand into the air.
“Don’t worry, Kris. I won’t take any screencaps.” He promises, and Kris gives one jerk of his head-a failed attempt at a nod-before pushing his shirt up and wrapping a hand around his erection, imagining it was Tao riding him as he pumped himself slowly, lazily.
If he had his way, he’d be running his hands all over Tao’s luscious torso, down his sides and then gripping onto his butt cheeks, forcing him to move faster because the pace was driving him crazy. Or he’d be pressing his lips against his skin at that tattoo, kissing every inch of it he could reach while he holds their erections together, hips jerking sporadically because it feels so good, too good.
Tao is whispering words to him through his mic, but Kris can barely hear him, too lost in his own thoughts and the oncoming orgasm. He comes hard, all over his hand and his shirt, and he slumps back in the chair, smiling to himself in silence as he calms down from his high.
“That was really, really hot.” Tao’s cheeks are peppered with pink. Kris covers his eyes with the back of his hand and laughs a little deliriously.
After being a mostly long-distance couple for a few years, phone sex was becoming a little more than dry. The webcam and the tattoo were doing amazing things to increase his libido.
“What about you?” He knows Tao’s aroused face as much as Tao knows his, and he thinks that Tao deserves to have his turn, too.
“I’m fine.” Tao waves a hand at him, straightening up in his chair and releasing a shuddering breath. “I recorded that, so I’ll just enjoy it later.”
“Hey,” He’d be angry, but he’s satiated and very happy. “I hope no one else see’s it…”
“Don’t you worry, gege,” Tao teases. “I’ll keep it for myself and a few of our closest friends.”
He sighs, runs his unsoiled hand through his hair and then looks up at his boyfriend, one of his rare, genuine smiles sneaking onto his face. “I love you,” he says boldly, and Tao’s blush deepens. “I love you so much. I really can’t deal with living this far from you.”
“Me too, Kris. Me too…”
“Move to Canada, then,” He leans back in his chair again and stares up at the ceiling. He should probably go wash his hands, he thinks, and change his shirt. He’s not quite prepared to leave Tao yet, though. “Just move in with me. I have room.”
“Kris, you’re not being serious, are you?” Tao asks him, looking confused and a little bit put off. Not very promising, Kris thinks.
“Of course I am. Come here, come live with me. I want to take care of you.”
“That’s…” The color is draining from his cheeks, and Kris sits up straight then, realizing he may have just said the very wrong thing. “Not going to happen, Kris.”
He’s curious, though, so he can’t help but press the matter. “What? Why?” He asks. He doesn’t want to make Tao angry, but he needs to know.
“I can’t just pack up my life and move to Canada for you, Kris. What about my parents? School? I don’t know English. I’m not a social butterfly, like you, I can’t make friends with everybody. I’m better off here.”
“You’re better off with me.” Kris whispers it. He doesn’t know if Tao hears him, because he doesn’t show any reaction at all.
“I have to go now, Kris. I’ll talk to you later.” He cuts the connection before Kris can reply. Kris is a little more than shell-shocked, his happiness quickly disappearing as he goes over that conversation in his head. He was sure Tao would be elated to hear something like that, positive, and this reaction was surprising in the worst of ways.
They break up four days later, Kris finally snapping in the middle of a brief phone conversation. What’s a long distance relationship when there’s no chance for us to be together in the end, anyway?
-
Heechul gets frustrated with Kris and Tao’s complicated rooming arrangements every year that they book the cruise together; the week-long overlap really throws off their system. But he understands their situation, that the cruise is one of the only places they get to see each other, so he deals with it. He bends over backwards for them-he does it because they’re young and in love and he kind of misses that feeling.
Kris doesn’t say anything about the overlap this time, and Heechul assumes it’s because Kris expects him to know already, so he does the same thing as usual, books Kris into the room for the trip from Canada to China, both of them for the main part of the cruise, and then Tao alone for the return trip. He feels accomplished and very happy that he managed without any major problems this time, but that feeling doesn’t last long.
A few hours after the boat docks in China, he has a very angry panda-child screaming at him in a language he doesn’t understand (regardless of the nationality of a certain ex-boyfriend), and a gigantically tall, very sexy man looking like he might shoot someone.
Heechul doesn’t actually have to say anything in the end, though. Tao switches his attention to Kris, and after fifteen minutes of full out open warfare, Kris pulls Tao closer and crushes their mouths together.
That shuts him up quite effectively. Heechul’s only regret is that he wishes he could have understood exactly what had been said.
-
“We’re stupid, aren’t we?” Tao muses as he traces his name into Kris’ stomach with his finger, smiling against his chest. A total of nine months they’d been broken up, and now that they were back on the cruise, it was like it hadn’t happened at all. “We shouldn’t of ended things between us.”
“I still called you my boyfriend,” Kris admits. Tao shifts so he can reach up and press soft kisses to the tip of Kris’ chin. The only thing that really changed between them, was no more phone sex, and no more desperate I love you’s at the end of every conversation. The only thing they hadn’t mentioned to each other was the fact that they were both still going on the cruise. Heechul’s little mistake definitely turned out to be a blessing in disguise, though.
“I did the same,” Tao giggles. Kris reaches over him to turn off their bedside lamp, and then wraps his arms protectively around his boy, kissing the side of his head and then snuggling close.
They have a lot to talk about, definitely, but that can certainly wait until the morning. For now, he just wants to fall asleep in the arms of the one he loves.
-
Luhan comes to visit Kris in Canada one week in December, because he’s always wanted to see the mountains Kris has taken so many photos of, in person. Kris isn’t able to take much time off work, so they end up spending mostly the evenings together, going for meals at all the best restaurants and going for long drives around the mountainsides, taking in the scenery while they can. Kris lives there, sure, but his job is really demanding, so he doesn’t get much time to enjoy the nature. Luhan is the perfect excuse.
On Luhan’s last night there, they go to Kris’ absolute favorite place to eat, a Japanese noodle restaurant named Benkei, not far from the university campus. They had been avoiding touchy subjects for the majority of the trip, but keeping quiet is especially hard with alcohol in their systems.
“You know, we still haven’t had sex. Properly.” Luhan’s moping into his shot glass. Kris scrunches up his nose and then inevitably reaches for his own and fills it up with sake, downing it in one big gulp. “I love him. He’s everything to me. I won’t ever do anything that makes him uncomfortable, you know me, but sometimes I just. Ugh. Kinda wanna handcuff him into the bed frame and force him to fuck me.”
“Pretty sure that’s rape,” Kris points an accusing finger at his friend, and they both giggle when he accidentally spills the sake in his hand all over the table.
“Well it’s better than me tying him up and then fucking him,” Luhan says. They share another laugh; Luhan loves being the bottom, he only ever tops if he absolutely cannot avoid it. “But hey, at least he’s not scared of my dick anymore. It’s almost like he’s actually having fun when he blows me. He’s even offered to a few times. In non sexual situations.”
Kris thinks Luhan is lucky; falling in love with a straight man was always his biggest fear when he came out of the closet. Luhan’s just lucky he managed to fall for the one who was never really closed minded to dating men in the first place. Even having to go a year and a half without taking that next step in their relationship seems worth it with all of that taken into consideration, but maybe Kris is a little too used to being so far from his lover that he really has no right to comment.
“How’s Tao doing, anyway?” He feels weird being the one asking this, but Luhan had stopped in Beijing before heading to Canada, so the two went for a meal together.
“He’s fine. Same old. He misses you. Too much. You’re kind of cruel, you know?”
“Eh?” Kris is having a little trouble keeping up. “Cruel, why?”
“I’ve never known someone so clingy and reliant before in my life. You start a relationship with him and then move to Canada. He needs you. And you’re not even in the same country as him. I think it kills him.”
“He seems…” Kris starts feebly, Luhan just rolls his eyes and pours himself more sake. “I asked him to move to Canada. He said no. If he… needs me so much, why didn’t he come?”
“You asked a 20 year old kid who doesn’t know a word of English to move to Canada with you, Kris. Of course he’s gonna say no.”
“What do you expect me to do, then?”
Luhan downs his shot and then looks at Kris seriously. “It’s not like you really like your job anyway.” He states, and then stands up to pay their bill. Kris is left to think, and that’s exactly what he does.
The pros and cons list would go on for miles, but the one thing that’s for certain is, Tao has been the one constant in his life, the thing that keeps him motivated to get from point a to b. That boy is the love of his life, and there’s nothing Kris can think of that’s more important.
-
“Kris, why are you calling me at this time? It’s the middle of the night.” Tao yawns into the mouthpiece, loud and unashamed. He’s been receiving a lot of suspiciously late conversations from his boyfriend, who is usually very conscious of the time difference and usually only calls when he knows Tao will be awake.
“I miss you,” is the simple, whispered reply. Tao rolls off his futon and crawls to the other side of the room, presses the switch on the lamp and then sits cross-legged next to it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“No. I’m awake already, what’s on your mind?”
Kris hums for a few moments, Tao knows it’s because he’s trying to string his thoughts into speak-able words. He stays silent, fidgeting with the hole on the thigh of the track-pants he so often wears to bed.
“You’re younger than me, Tao,” Kris says slowly, tentatively. “But I’ve never questioned your seriousness when it comes to our relationship. You’ve made it clear how much you love me.”
“Yeah?” Tao presses lightly. He’s not entirely sure what Kris is getting at.
”But sometimes I wonder if you’ll love me forever.”
He wants to say of course he will, but he can’t make any promises for the future. Loving Kris, being with him, has become his second nature, and he can’t imagine living a life without that man. “I don’t know, Kris.” He says. “But I know that I want to. We even sucked at breaking up, didn’t we? I really don’t want to think about my future when I’m scared you won’t be in it.”
“Tao…” Kris sighs, and Tao knows he said the right thing. “I think I’ve made my decision, then.” He’s not sure what this decision entails, but that feeling at the pit of his stomach is telling him it’ll definitely be a good thing.
-
Quitting his job is the first step Kris takes. His management is surprised, but thankful he stuck by the company for so long. They give him a nice big bonus on his last pay, and tell him to do something special with it. Something special; well, he can think of exactly what.
He rents a beautiful studio apartment in Beijing, close enough to the center to be near everything important. He calls Tao up a few weeks after he settles in, and gives the confused boy directions to the apartment, not wanting to say much to give this away.
Tao shows up barely 20 minutes later, knocking three times on the door, pushing his way in as soon as Kris opens it a crack. He’s breathing heavily, looking like he just ran a marathon. “What’s this about? What’s going on? He demands, and Kris doesn’t answer him; only pulls him into a hug.
“When you told me you wouldn’t move to Canada to be with me, you really broke my heart.” Kris says slowly. Tao’s fingers curl into his jacket at his shoulder blades. “I didn’t think at the time though, that you had everything to lose and nothing to gain by moving there. But I…everything I exist for is here. Wherever you are.”
“Nothing to gain?” Tao asks, his voice heavily muffled by Kris’ chest. He pulls back slightly so he can look up into his face. He’s crying. He’s such an emotional boy; but Kris loves that about him. Loves everything about him. “That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?”
“You know what I mean.” They kiss then, and Kris is distracted by roaming hands, by teeth tugging gently at his bottom lip. It’s been far too long since he’s felt this, so he allows himself to get lost in it for a moment. “This apartment,” he says breathlessly. Tao’s eyes have already lit up, his mouth curving into a wide smile. He’s nodding, a little prematurely in comparison to how the situation went inside Kris’ head when he spent all day planning it. “It’s for you. Us. You turned me down when it came to Canada, so the least you can do is live with me here.”
-
LOL fail ending I’m sorry guys this was all a fail.
I wrote this for AsianReputation on AFF, since she won that little…raffle? Thing. Ish. I did at the end of Boat. She wanted reunion, I wanted closure, so I mixed both our wants. TBF I thought of backstories for ALL THE COUPLES IN THIS FIC even heechul/hangeng and taoris is the only one I had absolutely nothing for.
I honestly was just like, k, long distance relationship, tao will be sad when kris leaves
And that was IT. I didn’t realize people would be so into this pair, lol.
I’m working on a lot right now, but I’d really like to write a hunhan arc for this fic too, might not be done for a while.