(no subject)
Ten weeks after the death of Jacen Solo
On the Millenium Falcon
Leia notices the absence of a certain tauntaun after mere hours of leaving Ord Mantell. Allana's curled in her bed, staring at the wall, her brown curls spilling over the pillow.
"Allana." Leia's voice was soft but commanding and Allana knew she knew. Reluctantly, the brunette turned to look at her grandmother.
"Grandmama."
"Where is it?"
Allana looked back at the wall and shrugged, rubbing her fingers together in remembrance of the beloved stuffed animal's fur. "It was time for him to go away."
It was time for Allana to try to move on again. She'd tried very early after her father's death and it hadn't worked. Ten weeks seemed like forever for a five year old. It seemed like it was time. But she couldn't bear the thought of sleeping without the animal her father had given her, couldn't figure out how to make the lump in her throat go away.
The weight that was crushing her wasn't gone either. It still pressed down on her chest and made her gasp for breath. Leia stepped forward and Allana sat up quickly.
"I want to call Mommy."
Leia nodded, unable to ever deny her granddaughter this, even if it was some ungodly hour on Hapes. She picked the five year old up and carried her to the comm station, flicking the switches, dialing the number. "Would you like me to go?"
Allana bit her lip and ducked her head in a nod. "Please."
As Leia left, the image fizzled in and a very sleepy Gadell glared at her from Hapes. His annoyed expression melted as Allana's lower lip started to tremble and he ran for the Queen Mother instantly.
"Baby." Tenel Ka breathed as she sat before her daughter, her voice tinny and her face a little static-ridden but Allana didn't care. She burst into tears, hot tears that dripped down her nose and she just cried as her mother watched, shushing her comfortingly.
"M-Mama." Allana finally managed to choke out. "It hurts so much, Mama. I-I threw him away and--" Her babbling dropped off in a truncated sob. "Jacen--I threw the tauntaun away and I miss you--"
"Darling." Tenel Ka pressed her hand against the screen, fingers stroking, as if she were trying to touch her daughter's face. "It's okay. It's not your father you threw away. Just a toy. Whatever you feel for him is still there--"
"I hate him." Allana sobbed, leaning her forehead against the screen. "I hate him, Mama. He tried to ruin us, ruin me, Mama, I hate him so much."
Her anger boiled over and she thinks of Milliways and every time he's in there, and every time how she just goes to him and begs him to hold her, keep her close. She wanted him to show up again so she can scream at him, tell him she hates him, let him know just how much he ruined her life. She choked on another sob, pressing her fingers against her eyes.
Tenel Ka sighed. "You do not hate him. You are angry with him, yes. The problem is you're mad because you love him and he left you. Allana. It's okay. Would you like to come home sooner?"
Allana nodded, choking on her breath, her little fingers pressing tight against her eyes still. "P-please."
"Absolutely." Her mother whispered, leaning forward to press her lips against the screen. "I love you, baby. Go sleep and I'll talk to Grandmama about coming home."
"Okay." Allana suddenly felt exhausted, as if all of her insomnia gone in a flash of sobs and gasps for breath. "Grandmama?"
Leia slid back in, obviously having been in the corner, her eyes sad. "Tenel Ka, I'll put her to bed and call you back, okay?"
"Absolutely. Allana. I love you."
Allana mustered a smile before letting Leia pick her up, groggily sniffling against her grandmother's shoulder. As soon as her head touched the pillow, she was asleep, her fingers unconciously grasping for a toy that no longer existed.
Leia put her little teddy bear from Milliways (from Sarah Jane!) in her granddaughter's hand, heart clenching with sadness.
"Allana.
On the Millenium Falcon
Leia notices the absence of a certain tauntaun after mere hours of leaving Ord Mantell. Allana's curled in her bed, staring at the wall, her brown curls spilling over the pillow.
"Allana." Leia's voice was soft but commanding and Allana knew she knew. Reluctantly, the brunette turned to look at her grandmother.
"Grandmama."
"Where is it?"
Allana looked back at the wall and shrugged, rubbing her fingers together in remembrance of the beloved stuffed animal's fur. "It was time for him to go away."
It was time for Allana to try to move on again. She'd tried very early after her father's death and it hadn't worked. Ten weeks seemed like forever for a five year old. It seemed like it was time. But she couldn't bear the thought of sleeping without the animal her father had given her, couldn't figure out how to make the lump in her throat go away.
The weight that was crushing her wasn't gone either. It still pressed down on her chest and made her gasp for breath. Leia stepped forward and Allana sat up quickly.
"I want to call Mommy."
Leia nodded, unable to ever deny her granddaughter this, even if it was some ungodly hour on Hapes. She picked the five year old up and carried her to the comm station, flicking the switches, dialing the number. "Would you like me to go?"
Allana bit her lip and ducked her head in a nod. "Please."
As Leia left, the image fizzled in and a very sleepy Gadell glared at her from Hapes. His annoyed expression melted as Allana's lower lip started to tremble and he ran for the Queen Mother instantly.
"Baby." Tenel Ka breathed as she sat before her daughter, her voice tinny and her face a little static-ridden but Allana didn't care. She burst into tears, hot tears that dripped down her nose and she just cried as her mother watched, shushing her comfortingly.
"M-Mama." Allana finally managed to choke out. "It hurts so much, Mama. I-I threw him away and--" Her babbling dropped off in a truncated sob. "Jacen--I threw the tauntaun away and I miss you--"
"Darling." Tenel Ka pressed her hand against the screen, fingers stroking, as if she were trying to touch her daughter's face. "It's okay. It's not your father you threw away. Just a toy. Whatever you feel for him is still there--"
"I hate him." Allana sobbed, leaning her forehead against the screen. "I hate him, Mama. He tried to ruin us, ruin me, Mama, I hate him so much."
Her anger boiled over and she thinks of Milliways and every time he's in there, and every time how she just goes to him and begs him to hold her, keep her close. She wanted him to show up again so she can scream at him, tell him she hates him, let him know just how much he ruined her life. She choked on another sob, pressing her fingers against her eyes.
Tenel Ka sighed. "You do not hate him. You are angry with him, yes. The problem is you're mad because you love him and he left you. Allana. It's okay. Would you like to come home sooner?"
Allana nodded, choking on her breath, her little fingers pressing tight against her eyes still. "P-please."
"Absolutely." Her mother whispered, leaning forward to press her lips against the screen. "I love you, baby. Go sleep and I'll talk to Grandmama about coming home."
"Okay." Allana suddenly felt exhausted, as if all of her insomnia gone in a flash of sobs and gasps for breath. "Grandmama?"
Leia slid back in, obviously having been in the corner, her eyes sad. "Tenel Ka, I'll put her to bed and call you back, okay?"
"Absolutely. Allana. I love you."
Allana mustered a smile before letting Leia pick her up, groggily sniffling against her grandmother's shoulder. As soon as her head touched the pillow, she was asleep, her fingers unconciously grasping for a toy that no longer existed.
Leia put her little teddy bear from Milliways (from Sarah Jane!) in her granddaughter's hand, heart clenching with sadness.
"Allana.