Life is Good I guess
After some couples therapy and a very understanding talk with Tim, I've decided things aren't all that bad. I've grown incredibly to love my job and the respect and pay that it gives me, and look forward to working every day. The thing now is that I don't have the energy to work on my thesis as I build up my current career. My big pay raise hits next paycheck, and I think it's smart to pay back some of the debt I've accummulated in school. Gotta love how a situation that was so bad 5 years ago is so good this year, like the flip of a coin or a journey from heaven to hell.
Had dinner at my Jewish lesbian friends house last nite. The same one I've had Passover with the last few years. She has a good energy, although I really feel her loneliness which will only get worse when her daughter moves away to college in two years. She reminds me of my spirituality, or at least my ignorance of it as of late.
Perhaps its time to try a new religion, like Buddhism. Or perhaps I should go back to All Saints Episcopalian, the one in Pasadena that is Christian but encourages everyone to find their own path but stay in the congregation. Perhaps I should just float between Christianity and Judaism. I don't know - it just hasn't been a priority whilest I'm in my current body. I know this - I believe in past lives and future lives and nonlinear time. I just hope that in my next life, I am through learning the whole "chasing" thing that the past few lives have been about. Hunted down because I'm gay, a Nazi, or a believer that the Earth is round.
Looking forward to PA in a month. Work has destroyed my hopes for any sort of extended Christmas vacation and skiing in Colorado. Maybe Vegas for Thanksgiving? OR just San Francisco. Choices choices choices.
But, life is good. Life is a struggle. Is it getting better? I never know until it gets worse.
Had dinner at my Jewish lesbian friends house last nite. The same one I've had Passover with the last few years. She has a good energy, although I really feel her loneliness which will only get worse when her daughter moves away to college in two years. She reminds me of my spirituality, or at least my ignorance of it as of late.
Perhaps its time to try a new religion, like Buddhism. Or perhaps I should go back to All Saints Episcopalian, the one in Pasadena that is Christian but encourages everyone to find their own path but stay in the congregation. Perhaps I should just float between Christianity and Judaism. I don't know - it just hasn't been a priority whilest I'm in my current body. I know this - I believe in past lives and future lives and nonlinear time. I just hope that in my next life, I am through learning the whole "chasing" thing that the past few lives have been about. Hunted down because I'm gay, a Nazi, or a believer that the Earth is round.
Looking forward to PA in a month. Work has destroyed my hopes for any sort of extended Christmas vacation and skiing in Colorado. Maybe Vegas for Thanksgiving? OR just San Francisco. Choices choices choices.
But, life is good. Life is a struggle. Is it getting better? I never know until it gets worse.