Feeling Very Pensive
It's late, and my husband is asleep on the couch. My kids are in a faraway place with their grandparents. My house is quiet and kinda lonesome. I know that I should revel in my alone time, but every time they leave, I just miss their presence. It's funny how kids can drive you so crazy yet you miss them so much when they're gone. Andrew always tells me I'm being silly and that I think too much about it. I just honestly don't know what to do with myself when they're gone. My life is being a stay-at-home MOM which requires kids. I mean, I do all the stuff I want to do alone in a few hours, and then what? I'm not even sure why I'm awake right now instead of sleeping. I'm dumb.
I've been in an extremely creative mood lately. I asked Andrew if he ever felt that way, and he didn't really understand. I remember reading in my mom's journal, and she said she felt that way sometimes. She just wanted to create something, and sometimes right then she would write a little poem in her journal. I get this desire occasionally to do something AMAZING! To write something. To grow something. To make something beautiful. But I never know what to do, so I usually end up doing nothing, and then I feel like a loser. Does anyone else have this problem? Is it just me and my mom? I wish she were here, so I could talk to her about it.
Andrew told me he created two amazing kids, and what more could I ask for? I love that guy.
Today I heard a talk in church about wedges that we put into our lives that hinder our progression. It hit me at the end that I've let some wedges into my life that are stopping my spiritual progression. I've had some issues with life in Laredo lately. I need to get over them. I've told Andrew that I'm ready to move, but I don't think I'm going to get anywhere with a negative attitude. I find that the Lord usually moves us from a place right when I'm starting to love it, so I need to work on that some more. :) I tend to put wedges in, too, when it comes to writing. Those are generally wedges of self-deprecation. "I'm not good enough" type wedges. Wedges, wedges, everywhere...
I'm a bundle of joy tonight. I just have things on my mind. It's been too long since I've used this ole lj as a "inner feelings" outlet. Maybe I'll start doing it more often.
I've been in an extremely creative mood lately. I asked Andrew if he ever felt that way, and he didn't really understand. I remember reading in my mom's journal, and she said she felt that way sometimes. She just wanted to create something, and sometimes right then she would write a little poem in her journal. I get this desire occasionally to do something AMAZING! To write something. To grow something. To make something beautiful. But I never know what to do, so I usually end up doing nothing, and then I feel like a loser. Does anyone else have this problem? Is it just me and my mom? I wish she were here, so I could talk to her about it.
Andrew told me he created two amazing kids, and what more could I ask for? I love that guy.
Today I heard a talk in church about wedges that we put into our lives that hinder our progression. It hit me at the end that I've let some wedges into my life that are stopping my spiritual progression. I've had some issues with life in Laredo lately. I need to get over them. I've told Andrew that I'm ready to move, but I don't think I'm going to get anywhere with a negative attitude. I find that the Lord usually moves us from a place right when I'm starting to love it, so I need to work on that some more. :) I tend to put wedges in, too, when it comes to writing. Those are generally wedges of self-deprecation. "I'm not good enough" type wedges. Wedges, wedges, everywhere...
I'm a bundle of joy tonight. I just have things on my mind. It's been too long since I've used this ole lj as a "inner feelings" outlet. Maybe I'll start doing it more often.