A secret place for secrets - for Scott
I feel like such a girly girl for that opening line, but I guess it is true. This diary is my secret place, and not many know about it, which is okay with me. I like to keep this part of me away from the world and since I don't have friends, this is a great outlet to talk.
So today's focus is going to be on some pictures a friend of mine took (of yes, and he is my friend). He probably won't find this diary, which really, is his challenge. My challenge was describing how I felt about the pictures he had taken of himself, and writing about that, and I suspect, writing about how I feel about my friend. So here goes.
It was Texas 2000 for the Stoner Hands of Doom festival at the RedBlood club in Austin. The SHoD Festival is put on by Rob and Cheryl Levey, and it is usually 4 to 5 days long. It is also a rotating festival, being held in different states in different years (just an FYI, this year it is held in Europe). My first attendance was at the Texas location. Surprisingly Texas was not as hot as I thought it would be. In fact, it was chilly at night but it was such a great feeling, to see all these indie metal/rock fans together in one place, together to listen to many great bands and to get a chance to bond with people I may have only talked to over the Internet.
Scott I had spoken to before, because I nominated his band, Slow Horse, as the band with the best album for both 2000 and 2001. I adored their doomy take on Chris Izsac's "Wicked Game" and I loved the moroseness inherent in their music as it spoke to my own insecurities and feelings of alienation and low self-esteem. So it was great to meet them at SHoD in Texas and for some reason Scott and I bonded. Actually the reason we bonded was because he was very non-intimidating, and an excellent conversationalist with a witty sense of humour. It also didn't hurt that he had these excellent flowing long curls that really suited him.
It was 5 days of amazing fun at SHoD that year. I met many new people, a new date (not Scott but this German guy who would later come to visit me from Germany once every 6 months or so for A few weeks), and some amazing friends. Finally I could say that "these are my people" and they were, and some still are. I really miss that scene. It was a real bonding experience.
b
Scott and I went to eat together, we had long talks together - about music, about life, about everything. Unfortunately the magic of SHoD was over and home I went on the plane. We kept in touch after SHoD via e-mail. I even had Scott help me with my website (well, actually Scott not only helped but really provided a lot more than he knows). Scott and I still talk, even though he lives in Arizona now and I am in Toronto. It never made a difference. I still say Scott is one of my best friends, and sometimes my only best friend. So many times calling and e-mailing Scott with my angst riddled life problems. Getting his opinion on everything. Because I respected him and I liked his forthrightness and most of all, he never made judgement and he left the conclusions to me.
In December 2005 I had Scott come and take pictures of me, because he is a professional photographer and I was his willing test subject. After feeling so horrible about myself, I needed to feel good. I had been working out at the gym hard. My body was toned and lean and muscular. I looked great. Scott brought out my self confidence by creating these beautiful pictures I'll have for the rest of my life. I love these pictures and I'll forever look back and say, "wow, you know, I was hot back then" because we all get old, and we all change.
Scott captured the best I have ever looked in my life. I love it. Of course since these were is first batch, most weren't quite artistic enough to make his site,with the exception of one or two. This doesn't bother me in the least as I know that Scott is growing as an artist and that things change and so much of his work is great.
Now Scott is doing these amazing nudes and black and white nudes with a dash of colour. He has the greatest ideas, but he gets stiffed with models that are often duds - no real facial expression, stiff, no natural ability. So he has a lot of challenges, yet despite these challenges, Scott's pictures turn out amazingly well. There is a lot of beautiful work on Scott's website, which is right here:
www.scottsos.com
Have a look around at what Scott has put up. There is more, but he will only show you what he wants you to see. Recently Scott has been testing the waters at modelling. By that I mean taking artistic and tasteful pictures of himself. He sent me this very strange e-mail today, more strange than usual. He wants to know what do I think of his work? Maybe even, what do I think of him, as a model. To be honest, I saw a picture that Scott had shown me, and it was a shaded silhouette of a man with a toned body. The picture was tasteful and incredibly hot. So I saw a couple more that he did (he's very shy or self conscious about these pictures) and I was very impressed. Not just by the camera work, which was excellent, but by the actual form itself. Scott makes an interesting model. Much more so than the typical GQ guy. Don't get me wrong, Travis Fimmel can have my heart any time he likes and he is beautiful, but there is something sweet in these pictures because I am looking at a subject that does not know how great he does look, and that arrogance that is seen elsewhere in other photos of models is invisible here, with Scott.
So what do I think? I think that for a guy over 30, Scott is rocking hot. He looks great in his photos and I can understand why he doesn't want anyone to see them. But I wish Scott would by a little more daring. Maybe take some pictures where it is all of his body, and his face is hidden. Take some shots of a Scott with his hair in braids or in two ponytails or in some funky get ups. Something like the Cocky Bastard:
www.cocybastard.com
I think women love to look and love to know men who are comfortable with their bodies and who are not afraid to utilize their feminine side. A man who can be secure in his own masculinity is very attractive, both physically and mentally. So Scott, if you are reading this here is what I think of you:
- You are one of the closest friends I have
- I miss your visits to Toronto
- You are an amazing photographer
- You look fabulous darling!
And most of all, I love you!
So today's focus is going to be on some pictures a friend of mine took (of yes, and he is my friend). He probably won't find this diary, which really, is his challenge. My challenge was describing how I felt about the pictures he had taken of himself, and writing about that, and I suspect, writing about how I feel about my friend. So here goes.
It was Texas 2000 for the Stoner Hands of Doom festival at the RedBlood club in Austin. The SHoD Festival is put on by Rob and Cheryl Levey, and it is usually 4 to 5 days long. It is also a rotating festival, being held in different states in different years (just an FYI, this year it is held in Europe). My first attendance was at the Texas location. Surprisingly Texas was not as hot as I thought it would be. In fact, it was chilly at night but it was such a great feeling, to see all these indie metal/rock fans together in one place, together to listen to many great bands and to get a chance to bond with people I may have only talked to over the Internet.
Scott I had spoken to before, because I nominated his band, Slow Horse, as the band with the best album for both 2000 and 2001. I adored their doomy take on Chris Izsac's "Wicked Game" and I loved the moroseness inherent in their music as it spoke to my own insecurities and feelings of alienation and low self-esteem. So it was great to meet them at SHoD in Texas and for some reason Scott and I bonded. Actually the reason we bonded was because he was very non-intimidating, and an excellent conversationalist with a witty sense of humour. It also didn't hurt that he had these excellent flowing long curls that really suited him.
It was 5 days of amazing fun at SHoD that year. I met many new people, a new date (not Scott but this German guy who would later come to visit me from Germany once every 6 months or so for A few weeks), and some amazing friends. Finally I could say that "these are my people" and they were, and some still are. I really miss that scene. It was a real bonding experience.
b
Scott and I went to eat together, we had long talks together - about music, about life, about everything. Unfortunately the magic of SHoD was over and home I went on the plane. We kept in touch after SHoD via e-mail. I even had Scott help me with my website (well, actually Scott not only helped but really provided a lot more than he knows). Scott and I still talk, even though he lives in Arizona now and I am in Toronto. It never made a difference. I still say Scott is one of my best friends, and sometimes my only best friend. So many times calling and e-mailing Scott with my angst riddled life problems. Getting his opinion on everything. Because I respected him and I liked his forthrightness and most of all, he never made judgement and he left the conclusions to me.
In December 2005 I had Scott come and take pictures of me, because he is a professional photographer and I was his willing test subject. After feeling so horrible about myself, I needed to feel good. I had been working out at the gym hard. My body was toned and lean and muscular. I looked great. Scott brought out my self confidence by creating these beautiful pictures I'll have for the rest of my life. I love these pictures and I'll forever look back and say, "wow, you know, I was hot back then" because we all get old, and we all change.
Scott captured the best I have ever looked in my life. I love it. Of course since these were is first batch, most weren't quite artistic enough to make his site,with the exception of one or two. This doesn't bother me in the least as I know that Scott is growing as an artist and that things change and so much of his work is great.
Now Scott is doing these amazing nudes and black and white nudes with a dash of colour. He has the greatest ideas, but he gets stiffed with models that are often duds - no real facial expression, stiff, no natural ability. So he has a lot of challenges, yet despite these challenges, Scott's pictures turn out amazingly well. There is a lot of beautiful work on Scott's website, which is right here:
www.scottsos.com
Have a look around at what Scott has put up. There is more, but he will only show you what he wants you to see. Recently Scott has been testing the waters at modelling. By that I mean taking artistic and tasteful pictures of himself. He sent me this very strange e-mail today, more strange than usual. He wants to know what do I think of his work? Maybe even, what do I think of him, as a model. To be honest, I saw a picture that Scott had shown me, and it was a shaded silhouette of a man with a toned body. The picture was tasteful and incredibly hot. So I saw a couple more that he did (he's very shy or self conscious about these pictures) and I was very impressed. Not just by the camera work, which was excellent, but by the actual form itself. Scott makes an interesting model. Much more so than the typical GQ guy. Don't get me wrong, Travis Fimmel can have my heart any time he likes and he is beautiful, but there is something sweet in these pictures because I am looking at a subject that does not know how great he does look, and that arrogance that is seen elsewhere in other photos of models is invisible here, with Scott.
So what do I think? I think that for a guy over 30, Scott is rocking hot. He looks great in his photos and I can understand why he doesn't want anyone to see them. But I wish Scott would by a little more daring. Maybe take some pictures where it is all of his body, and his face is hidden. Take some shots of a Scott with his hair in braids or in two ponytails or in some funky get ups. Something like the Cocky Bastard:
www.cocybastard.com
I think women love to look and love to know men who are comfortable with their bodies and who are not afraid to utilize their feminine side. A man who can be secure in his own masculinity is very attractive, both physically and mentally. So Scott, if you are reading this here is what I think of you:
- You are one of the closest friends I have
- I miss your visits to Toronto
- You are an amazing photographer
- You look fabulous darling!
And most of all, I love you!