(no subject)
I am currently losing my mind trying to figure out what to do with my life.
I do not want to sell Aflac. I was talking myself into it but I just don't feel like it is the road I want to go down right now. I'm too young to commit to a career I'm not in love with. I don't want to start out so early being miserable in a job when I still have the potential to find something I really like.
I've decided I want to go to grad school. I think. I'm still getting more information and looking into different programs. There's one at UWM I'm really into, especially after talking to an admissions lady today. I need to talk to someone in the financial aid office and see what all they have to offer since it is SO expensive out of state. Any of the other programs I've looking into I have way missed the Fall 10 deadlines to application and they don't accept new students in the Spring. Some of them I'm more interested in than the UWM program so maybe I shouldn't settle?
I just don't know what to do RIGHT NOW. I know I am not happy with my current situations. I've got the beer thing going on to get some experience but it's a long way to drive to go to all their events and meet up with their accounts like they'd like me to do without getting paid. Nearly everything is down in Charlotte and between driving to Catawba and Mooresville every day, adding all over Charlotte is just a lot for no extra income.
I just really don't know and feel like my head is kind of all over the place right now. I'm having a tough time figuring this stuff out. I know what I want to do but I can't seem to make that happen. I don't want to settle for a job I don't really want but I don't want to keep spinning my wheels right now. I'm not making enough money to save up, I'm only making enough to pay the bills I have right now NOT including my student loans but their deferment runs out in May so I need to figure something out before then.
This is just like, too much. I know I shouldn't get too down on myself and I'm trying not to but FUCK it's just so hard to figure everything out. It seems like things shouldn't be this hard. Or maybe this stuff is all that hard to figure out and I just wish it weren't.
I wish I had the balls to just move somewhere and make it happen. But I can't bring myself to do that without any sort of financial stability. It's just too hard and too expensive and completely irresponsible and stupid to move somewhere without a job.
AGGGGGH I hate this. I want so badly for something to happen for me. For something to work out.
I do not want to sell Aflac. I was talking myself into it but I just don't feel like it is the road I want to go down right now. I'm too young to commit to a career I'm not in love with. I don't want to start out so early being miserable in a job when I still have the potential to find something I really like.
I've decided I want to go to grad school. I think. I'm still getting more information and looking into different programs. There's one at UWM I'm really into, especially after talking to an admissions lady today. I need to talk to someone in the financial aid office and see what all they have to offer since it is SO expensive out of state. Any of the other programs I've looking into I have way missed the Fall 10 deadlines to application and they don't accept new students in the Spring. Some of them I'm more interested in than the UWM program so maybe I shouldn't settle?
I just don't know what to do RIGHT NOW. I know I am not happy with my current situations. I've got the beer thing going on to get some experience but it's a long way to drive to go to all their events and meet up with their accounts like they'd like me to do without getting paid. Nearly everything is down in Charlotte and between driving to Catawba and Mooresville every day, adding all over Charlotte is just a lot for no extra income.
I just really don't know and feel like my head is kind of all over the place right now. I'm having a tough time figuring this stuff out. I know what I want to do but I can't seem to make that happen. I don't want to settle for a job I don't really want but I don't want to keep spinning my wheels right now. I'm not making enough money to save up, I'm only making enough to pay the bills I have right now NOT including my student loans but their deferment runs out in May so I need to figure something out before then.
This is just like, too much. I know I shouldn't get too down on myself and I'm trying not to but FUCK it's just so hard to figure everything out. It seems like things shouldn't be this hard. Or maybe this stuff is all that hard to figure out and I just wish it weren't.
I wish I had the balls to just move somewhere and make it happen. But I can't bring myself to do that without any sort of financial stability. It's just too hard and too expensive and completely irresponsible and stupid to move somewhere without a job.
AGGGGGH I hate this. I want so badly for something to happen for me. For something to work out.