The Price of Fame - Chapter 15
Title: The Price of Fame
Author: hanez
Genre: Angst, AU
Theme: Celebrity Jin / High School Student Kazuya
Rating: PG
Summary: Kazuya is a third year high school student, and is a great fan of Akanishi Jin, Japan's most popular and hottest male singer, who is cool but cold on the outside. His appearance is simply a facade, wanting to please the high expectation of fans. Deep down inside, Jin was a lonely young man, who lacked of love. Kazuya's one wish is to meet his idol one day, and when he was given the chance, he had fallen for him hard, getting himself involve into a world so different from his.
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me.
-
“Okaasan?”
Jin voiced out, his eyes frantically searching for the one familiar face amongst the crowd of strangers. He knew no one but his mother. He had no one else but her, but her figure was nowhere to be seen. Jin’s eyes glimmered with tears as he squatted down, shivering with coldness, the fear of the situation started to put a toll on him.
He waited, and waited but his mother did never come back for him.
-
It was time to tell someone about his past, Jin thought, glancing at Kazuya who was busy listening to his mp3, his expression soulful. Kazuya is really special, someone whom he really treasure and trust the most than anyone else so he deserved to know.
Knowing Kazuya would not hear him, Jin sat next to his lover on the bed, reaching for his hand. That one action caught Kazuya’s attention as he removed the earphones from his ear and looked up at Jin.
“What’s wrong?”
“I need to tell you something.” Jin tightened his hold on Kazuya’s hand, debating whether to tell him or not. “I’ve never told anyone before so …”
“Jin, you know you can tell me anything.” Kazuya squeezed his hand as a form of encouragement.
Jin smiled and nodded, he took a deep breathe before continuing.
“Unlike others, I have a sad childhood.” He started. “My father died when I was only ten, and I was abandoned by my mother, my only kin left in this world, after his death. She just … disappeared and left me all alone at the funeral. I thought that she would come back for me but she did not, I eventually ended up in the orphanage’s home. Even if being put in that place, I hoped that she would one day come back to me but as days turned into months, and years, the hope died. As a result, I became a man with no feelings or emotions.”
Kazuya’s eyes cluttered with tears, his heart hurt hearing Jin’s sad past. So that was why Jin was so cold hearted the first time he met his favourite idol. It wasn’t because Jin was arrogant over his popular status but because his past made him the man he was.
“I didn’t believe in love before I met you, Kazuya. Love caused a great deal of pain to me so why love someone else when it was the very reason for this broken heart of mine? But meeting you changed me completely. I would never think that I would feel to love again. You taught me how to smile, to laugh freely without any restrictions, more importantly you made me feel again. You made me feel alive and that even if I make mistakes in the future, I know that I am loved by someone, by you. My past didn’t matter anymore because I know I have you.”
“Jin!” Kazuya embraced him, his arms wrapped tightly around his back. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know that my presence brought a big impact to your life. I didn’t know that I was so important to you as you are to me. I’m really touched and grateful for your love.”
Jin pulled away, placing his hands on Kazuya’s shoulders so he was facing him.
“You are important to me, Kazuya. You hold a special place in my heart that no one else can, this heart it only beats for you.” Jin placed their intertwined hands on his heart.
Kazuya nodded, the tears that he shed refused to stop.
“I’m glad I fainted in the middle of the car park exit.” He murmured once he got control of his emotions.
Jin laughed. “I remember that clearly! You’re lucky that it was me who brought you home to have you checked upon. Who knows what would have happened to you if it was anyone else? You could have been kidnapped, Kazuya!” He teased, suddenly forgetting about the serious talk he had with his lover a moment ago.
“Yeah, I’m glad it was you.” Kazuya grinned. “Do you have any idea how shocked I was meeting my favourite idol in personal? I fainted twice in the span of two days.”
Jin smiled.
“You know, your determination to break the barrier in me was what attracted me to you. I denied it then but that was the truth. Other people would have long given up on me but you didn’t instead you kept chasing me until I accept your presence.”
“No one should be deprived of the thing called emotions. I am no psychic but looking at your photos in magazines, I can tell that you’re not really smiling. You smile but the smile does not reach your eyes, and having met you personally, I realise for the first time that your eyes held so much sadness. It saddened me that was why I wished then that I could be the one to warm up your heart.”
“Well, one thing for sure …” Jin caressed Kazuya’s cheeks gently. “You were successful. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be as happy as I am right now.”
“Because of you too, I am happy, Jin.”
-
Jin was invited to Kazuya’s private 18th birthday party. His boyfriend had assured him that there would only be his family and his two best friends so he did not need to worry about strangers discovering that they know each other.
“You’re finally eighteen, Kazuya!” Koki shouted the instance Kazuya finished making his wish after blowing out all the candles on his birthday cake.
“What do you mean by that? I’m still underage as far as I know.”
“Koki meant that you’ve finally turned eighteen of us three. Nevertheless you’re still the baby in our group. Am I right?” Nakamaru butted in.
“Shut up!” Kazuya ignored his two best friends and turned to face his lover. “Do you want cake, Jin?”
“Ah, yes please.”
“Then you’re in charge of cutting the cake, Kazuya.” Mrs Kamenashi said. “Jin, don’t be shy and eat all you want, okay? There’s more than enough food for everyone.”
“Yes, thank you.”
“You’re surprisingly polite, Jin-kun. I’m glad you’re friends with Kazuya.” Mr Kamenashi stated, flashing the latter a gentle smile.
“Yeah, Jin here is better than the two guys there.” Yoijiro pointed to Kazuya’s best friends, obviously teasing them. Koki coughed loudly as if disagreeing to that point while Nakamaru simply smiled, thinking that those words were indeed the truth.
Akanishi Jin would forever be ten times better than them because he holds a special place in Kazuya’s heart, and no one would be able to replace that position. To Kazuya, Jin is his number one.
“Here’s your cake, Jin.” Kazuya cheerfully announced as he handed him the plate.
“Thank you.”
Kazuya pretended to place the knife down when he had finished handing his family their cake. He smirked when he saw the pout on Koki’s lips, his arms crossed at being left out.
“Kazuya, what about us?” Koki complained, referring to Nakamaru and him who still have not received their cakes. “We want cake too! That’s the reason we came here for!”
Nakamaru chuckled.
“What? You came here just for the cake, and not to celebrate my birthday?” Kazuya feigned hurt.
“Well both …” Koki replied non-chastely.
“Koki!!!”
“Kazuya, just give them their cakes. Poor them, they too would want to have a taste of this delicious cake.” Mrs Kamenashi reprimanded her son causing him to pout, and concede to her request.
“Fine.”
“It seems that Jin is the only one who’s mature here. You three are ever so childish.” Koji teased. “Jin, don’t mind them. They’re always like this whenever they’re together.”
“Ah, not at all, I can tell that they’re really good friends. It’s good to have friends that you can rely on.”
Nakamaru nodded. “We’re not only Kazuya’s friends but yours too. Am I right, Koki?” He nudged his friend on the shoulder. Jin felt touched at that statement, Kazuya smiled, holding his lover’s hand underneath the table.
“But friends have their phone numbers, right? So you should give us your mobile number too, we promise we won’t tell anyone else!” Koki pleaded, acting cute.
“Sure, I’ll give it to you later.”
Jin flashed Kazuya a warm smile. He had not made one but two friends in knowing him. He was glad because he too needed friends in his life besides his beloved lover. The three of them, Jin imagined, would be his family from now on.
-
Kazuya walked down the stairs of Jin’’s mansion, surprised to see Yamashita in the living room, seemingly deep in thought. A mischievous grin appeared on his face as he tiptoed slowly to the back of the couch Yamashita was sitting on and surprised him.
“Boooo!!!!!” Kazuya shoved Yamashita gently on the shoulders causing the latter to shake and got on his feet seconds later. “What are you doing?”
“What am I doing? I should be the one asking you that.” He murmured.
Kazuya giggled. “No, seriously. You seemed out of space for a moment, thought I should bring you to reality. It’s funny though seeing your reaction.”
Yamashita flashed Kazuya a ridiculed look, he blinked at the friendly manner Kazuya was talking to him. It was as if he was his … friend. They never really talked properly so to be in conversation with the younger one was just plain weird.
“Are you staying for dinner? If you are, I’ll cook your share too!”
“Eh?”
“For dinner, the chef will take a rest, and I’ll take over. Jin already knows about this.” Seeing the blank look Yamashita was giving him, Kazuya quickly said, “Don’t worry, I’m good in cooking. You’ll be surprise of my skills!”
“Ano …”
“Then it’s settled!” Kazuya pushed Yamashita back to the sofa. “Dinner will be served shortly!”
He skipped to the kitchen happily.
I didn’t even say ‘Yes’ …
“What an idiot.” Yamashita whispered, clearly amused.
-
Kazuya clasped his hands, waiting in anticipation as Jin finished munching his food. His attention was full on his lover that he did not notice the impressed expression on Yamashita’s face.
“How is it, Jin?”
“It’s really delicious, Kazuya! I never tasted food as delicious as this before!”
“Really?” Kazuya looked down and blush.
“Hmm! I’m definitely going to finish up everything!” Jin started to add more to his bowl of rice, eating happily.
Kazuya smiled and turned to face the other man. “How about you, Yamapi?”
“Yamapi??” Both Jin and Yamashita said simultaneously.
“That’s because ‘Yamashita-san’ is too long, it’s really tiring when I want to call you every single time so I shortened the name. I thought ‘Yamapi’ isn’t that bad. What do you think?”
Yamashita was even more impressed than before, “Akanishi, your boyfriend is really something.” He could not help but admit that fact, Kazuya was far from what he imagined him to be.
“Now you know, Kazuya’s one of a kind.” Jin embraced Kazuya protectively, who smiled in response.
“So can I call you ‘Yamapi’?” Kazuya asked again.
“Well I suppose so …” Yamashita finally relented.
“That’s great!”
Throughout the dinner, Yamashita witnessed something beautiful, the smiles, the teasing and laughter from the couple was so beautiful and genuine that it unexpectedly brought a smile to his always serious face. His heart felt at ease looking at the scene in front of him.
He finally understood.
-
Jin’s mother kept on coming to his mansion, to which he rejected her presence every single time. That woman did not know the meaning of giving up, he thought in anger. Kazuya flashed his boyfriend a concern look the moment Jin instructed his butler to usher said woman to leave, yet once again.
“Jin, are you sure you’re alright in doing that?” Kazuya asked.
“Yeah, don’t worry about it, Kazu. That woman means nothing to me. I don’t care if I don’t have a real kin anymore. I have you, my friends, and your family.”
Kazuya nodded, reaching for Jin’s hand.
“But whatever it is, Jin, she’s still your mother. What if is she really regrets what she did to you, and truly wants nothing else but your forgiveness? Even if she had done so many wrongs, a mother is a mother, right? She can’t possibly forget about her child forever, perhaps deep down … she still loves you.”
“I wish that was the case though. I don’t trust her, and I don’t think I ever can …” Jin replied sadly, biting his lips.
“Maybe one day, when you’re ready, you should give her a chance. I’m not trying to force you or anything but, you won’t know the result if you don’t try. So promise me, if your heart is finally able to accept your mother once again, you won’t hesitate to acknowledge her?”
Jin caressed Kazuya’s cheeks lovingly, “I promise.”
-
Akanishi Hiromi stared at the poster of ‘Akanishi Jin’ on her wall, her eyes burning with frustration. She lit up a cigarette, puffing it for a few times before her anger took control of her. She ripped the poster and crumpled it together, throwing it on the floor.
“Damn.”
Hiromi messed up her hair and leaned back against the sofa, taking yet another puff of her cigarette.
-
Kazuya was playing catching yet again with Jin, he shrieked in surprise when a pair of arms suddenly hugged him from behind. He calmed down when he recognised Jin’s presence. Kazuya looked around and realised that he was in their bedroom, he didn’t even realise that in the beginning. He chuckled.
“What are you laughing about?”
“No … thing. It’s just that I ended up in this bedroom once again.”
“You belong here after all.” Jin started to tickle Kazuya, the latter trying to get out of his tight grasp whilst laughing uncontrollably.
“Jin, stop … It tickles … Haha … so much …”
“This is your punishment for running away from me. Come here, Kazu.” Jin teased.
“Jin …”
Kazuya slipped and fell flat on the bed, causing Jin to topple on top of him as their arms are interlinked with each other’s. Jin gazed onto Kazuya’s beautiful brown orbs full with love, a sudden desire started to grow on him.
“I’m glad it was you. You’re the key to my locked heart, and now, right now … my heart is rejoicing with happiness. You’re the best thing that had ever happened in my life, Kazu. I wished I could have met you sooner.”
“It’s fate.” Kazuya’s lips curved into a smile.
Jin nodded; they continued staring at one another in total silence before Kazuya broke it.
“Jin?”
“Hmm?” He answered absentmindedly.
“What are you going to do?”
Jin was not that dumb to not be able to decipher what Kazuya had meant by that, so he brushed the younger one’s hair gently and replied, “I want to make you mine. Is that okay with you? You don’t have to force yourself if you don’t want to.”
“No, I want to.” Kazuya whispered.
Jin leaned down to kiss Kazuya on the lips, the latter closed his eyes as he anticipated those soft lips crush on his and when it did, Kazuya instinctively wrapped his arms around Jin’s neck. Slowly but steadily, their clothes were thrown to the floor, the both of them stark naked.
Kazuya relaxed when he sees the kind expression on his lover’s face, he heard the gentle words Jin whispered to him, easing his mind a little. Kazuya gripped the bed sheets tightly; trying his best to control the pain the instance Jin entered him. Jin was gentle nevertheless it still hurt.
“I love you, Kazuya. I love you so much.” Jin murmured.
“I love you too, Jin.”
It was Kazuya’s first time making love, and so was it for Jin.
-
Next morning, Kazuya stood by the window, wrapped in a blanket. He smiled dreamily as he looked out of the window. Jin appeared behind him and hugged him lovingly, kissing his neck. It couldn’t be any more perfect.
“Ohayo.” Jin tightened his hold on Kazuya, smiling.
“Ohayo, Jin.”
Jin had put on a pair of loose pants the minute he woke up and sees Kazuya awoken, his upper body still bare without any clothes on, well not that Kazuya mind. His lover turned to face him, at that point of time, he saw the most beautiful smile Kazuya had ever flashed, that it warmed his heart. Kazuya leaned his head against Jin’s chest, to which he responded by placing his arms around Kazuya’s back, pulling him closer.
He closed his eyes as he relished this moment.
Why does this feel like this moment will disappear?
-
Jin stood by the window in his living room, deep in his thoughts, pondering about what Kazuya had advised him in regards to his mother. He held such deep hatred for her, for if it wasn’t for her, he would not have suffered a great deal of pain. Perhaps he could have the perfect family he wished for.
Forgiveness …
Was it really that easy to forgive someone who had badly affected his life so much?
With forgiveness, his hatred, his pain all would be gone in a split second, replaced by happiness. Was that really so? More importantly, was he ready to forgive his mother?
“Jin!”
A familiar voice interrupted his thoughts, bringing him back to the real world.
“What were you thinking about?” Kazuya asked in pure curiosity, “Don’t tell me you were thinking perverted thoughts of me?!” He teased.
Jin didn’t answer but simply pulled Kazuya into his arms, brushing the younger one’s hair gently as his lips formed into a grin. However that silent moment did not last forever …
“Akanishi-san.”
Jin recognised his butler’s voice but what he did not expect was his mother standing next to him. He immediately lets go of Kazuya, suddenly feeling the unwanted atmosphere in the living room. Kazuya, who was clueless about the entire situation, looked from Jin to the woman and back to Jin, it didn’t take him long to process things.
“Jin?” Kazuya smiled, happy to finally meet Jin’s mother.
“Go upstairs, I’ll be there soon.” He whispered.
Kazuya bowed to Jin’s mother in respect before hurrying up the stairs and into their bedroom. Akanishi Hiromi stared at the teenage boy with scrutiny eyes, suspicious of their so-called actions that she had accidentally seen earlier.
“Who is he?” Hiromi found herself asking her son that question.
“Who are you to question me? As for I know, you’re the outsider here.” Jin spat, and turned to face his butler. “Who gave you the permission to let her in?”
“I’m sorry …” His butler bowed, apologising for his mistake.
“Jin, it’s not his fault. I begged him to let me in.” Hiromi held Jin’s arms, looking at him directly in the eyes. “What do okaasan need to do for you to forgive me? I’ll do whatever you ask me to, please. You are important to me.”
“If I mean so much to you, then why didn’t you come back for me when I was trapped in that orphanage home? I was afraid, I was lonely, hell I had no one! You were the only one kin that I had ever left and you freaking abandoned me! Tell me how I am supposed to forgive you with the torture you put me through! My childhood had been nothing but a nightmare thanks to you!”
“Jin … I’m really … sorry.” Hiromi looked down, in regret.
“Just … leave, and don’t come back here anymore.”
Hiromi’s eyes cluttered with tears, she bowed deeply at her son before rushing out of the door. Yamashita who was on the way to the living room, bumped into her, he was shocked and frozen to his position when he recognised who that woman was. With heavy steps, he walked to where Jin was, instantly asking him who that person was.
“My mother.”
Yamashita’s eyes widened at that statement, “That woman … she … she’s your mother?”
Yamashita asked Jin to stay away from her despite knowing that the truth.
He sensed that she’s up to no good.
Jin nodded, ‘She doesn’t matter. After all, I’ve been alone all these years.” He said sadly.
At those words, Yamashita bit his lips; he too understood that feeling so much. He blinked back his tears and walked away.
-
“Okaasan?”
Yamashita Tomohisa opened his parents’ door really gently, what greeted him was not a sight he should see at his age. His father was kissing someone, someone … who was not his mother. Tomohisa looked at the scene in confusion, even if he did not understand, his heart hurt. It felt as if his father was betraying his mother, who loved him so much.
“Oh my god, Tomohisa!” His father panicked when he sees his son by the door, he immediately pushed the woman off of him. “You have to leave.” He said to her coldly before heading towards his trembling son.
“What, you rather choose your son than me?”
“Just leave!!!”
The woman grunted, as she got up from the bed. Tomohisa sees her face for the first time, watching her until she disappeared from the bedroom.
“Tomohisa, this is our little secret, okay? Don’t tell your mother or she’ll be sad. You don’t want her to be sad, am I right?”
Tomohisa shook his head, oblivious to what he had just agreed on.
He didn’t know that that woman would bring tears to his beloved mother. It caused her so much misery, and pain, having discovered the cruel truth that her husband had an affair with another woman, to the extent that it drew her to her death. She killed herself.
“Okaasan!!! Okaaasan!! Wake up!!!!” Tomohisa shook his mother violently. His hands dirtied with blood as he called his mother continuously, his face wet with tears. “Okaaaaaaaaasan!!!!”
Up until this point of time, Tomohisa remembered the woman’s face clearly. How could he not when she was the cause of his mother’s death? He had forgotten about his past, buried with work these past few years. He was shocked to see that face again but what he did not expect the most was when he learnt the identity of the woman he loathed so much.
That woman … is Akanishi’s mother.
-
Yamashita Tomohisa placed the bouquet of flowers in front of the tombstone as he bent down, staring at the name carved on the grey stone. He bit his lip as bittersweet memories swam past his mind, causing him to recall the unwanted past of his, one that he thought he had forgotten until awhile ago, having seen that face.
“Okaasan, I met her, the woman who caused all the unhappiness in our family. Of course, it was not entirely her fault, otoosan was at fault too. But I feel better this way if I put all the blame to her. If it wasn’t for her, you would still be alive and otoosan …” Tomohisa paused, his tone quavering at the mention of his father. “Ah, it’s nothing. You don’t have to worry about anything. Otoosan is doing great after all his filial son is taking good care of him.”
She’s my mother.
He should hate him too, right? After all Akanishi is that woman’s son …
She … she’s … your mother?
“I really didn’t expect Akanishi to be her son, okaasan. Even if I wanted to, I can’t hate him. I can’t. He and I … we’ve been together since I’ve entered the orphanage. I know him inside out, he … he was my best friend. He was the only friend I ever had.” Tomohisa whispered, holding the tombstone. He wiped away the tears that had fallen from his eyes with his sleeves, biting his lips in hopes that the tears would stop but to no avail, it kept falling freely.
“This is a secret between the two of us, okay? I would pretend as if I know nothing at all. I would hide the truth from him because I know … knowing the truth hurts, and I don’t want another person to be hurt anymore. The hurting had to stop, seriously. It had to.”
Akanishi is so happy with Kazuya, the love that he had found. Tomohisa would not be as cruel as to snatch the happiness away from him. He was not that type of man. He hated his mother but not the son.
“I hope you understand okaasan. You always understand this son of yours, right?” Tomohisa tear up again. “I missed you, okaasan. I really miss you …”
Tomohisa shook his head, and smiled.
“I’m sorry I broke my promise. I wouldn’t cry in front of you again. For you, I’ll definitely be strong and move on.” He got up, taking a deep breathe. “I’ll visit you again, okaasan. Wait for me, okay?”
Tomohisa took one last glance at his mother’s grave before walking away from it, and down the stairs.
Akanishi and he … shared the same fate.
Both lost their loved ones at such a young age. Tomohisa didn’t know that they would be connected in this way, a cruel and hurtful fact that would tarnish the situation even more nevertheless Tomohisa knew that their bond would not be broken that easily.
-
Nine year old Tomohisa crouched down in a corner of the room, his head hiding in the comfort of his legs as he cried, cried for the situation he was in, a situation that would not be reversed no matter how he wished it could be. This small room would be his bedroom, and this place would be his new home from now on, always.
“I don’t want! I want to go home …” Tomohisa whispered painfully, the truth hit him hard in the head.
Though he was only nine, he understood perfectly. There would not be any home for him. The house that he had lived all his life was not his home anymore as for the people he loved … they were all gone now, leaving him all alone.
“Why …” Tomohisa cried, he paused when he felt a sudden pat on his shoulder.
“Hello! Are you my new roommate?” A taller boy came into view, his lips forming into a bright smile. “Ah, it seems that you are, right? Otherwise why would you be here? I’m so excited! I’ve been all alone in this room for the past few months and it was so lonely, I tell you! I’m glad I now finally have a friend to talk to!!!”
Tomohisa flashed the other boy a blank expression, was he that dumb to read the atmosphere?
“My name’s Akanishi Jin! What is yours?”
Tomohisa blinked at the sudden question nevertheless he answered it with a small voice,
“Yamashita Tomohisa.”
“Tomohisa-kun! Let’s play!” Jin suggested causing Tomohisa to look at him in confusion. “Instead of sitting down and crying, it’s better to waste our energy in playing, right? In here, you’re not alone. If you’re afraid of having no friends, you have me!” He flashed the other one a gentle smile, handing out his hand.
“So let’s play?”
Tomohisa smiled, and nodded slowly, taking the hand in his.
-
“Why are you so cheerful? Don’t you feel sad being abandoned by your mother? I always feel sad when I think of my situation. I’ll cry.” Tomohisa had not seen the older boy cry or sad, not even once, instead a large smile would always appear on his face.
“That’s because I believe my mother will come back for me!” Jin answered confidently.
“But what if she …”
Jin shook his head stubbornly, “Okaasan will come back for me! I believe! She won’t be that cruel as to leave me here forever, I’m her son after all.”
Tomohisa looked at Jin with such sad eyes, he was lucky that he still had his mother, but for Tomohisa, he had no one else. His mother was dead while his father would not be able to visit him in that condition, not now, not ever, Tomohisa thought.
Jin had the hope to move on with his life but he had none at all.
-
Tomohisa entered the white room as his eyes gazed at the figure slumped in the corner, hands all restricted. Seeing this scene yet once again hurt him deeply but they had no other choice. He walked towards the figure and squatted next to him.
“Otoosan …” He whispered. “How are you doing?”
The older man’s face remained emotionless as he looked at the white ceiling.
“Okaasan doesn’t know of your condition, how you turned for the worse after her death. I didn’t tell her because I don’t want her to feel sad anymore. She’s free now … she should be happy wherever she is now, right?” Tomohisa said, his eyes cluttered with tears. “Despite hurting her many times, deep down you really love her, am I right, otoosan? You loved her so much that …”
At that sentence, Tomohisa’s father looked at him, his gaze sad as if understanding what his son had just said.
“I’ve accepted our family’s fate a long time ago but somehow a part of me still does not want to let it go.” Tomohisa bit his lips as tears fell from his eyes. “Why? Why must this happen to us? Why … otoosan? Why ….”
Tomohisa knelt down and cried.
-
Tomohisa skipped to the bedroom, in hope of finding his friend to play with him. His smile faded away when he saw Jin on his bed, crying. Tomohisa hurriedly rushed to his friend, and patted on his shoulder, his eyes full of concern.
“What’s wrong?”
Jin turned to face Tomohisa, his eyes puffy due to the tears he shed.
“Okaasan … she won’t ever come back for me, right? She had long given up on this child of hers, the day she abandoned me, but I refused to accept the truth! Instead of accepting, hoping that she would come back felt much better. I truly feel that way but now … it has been three years.” Jin looked down on his family’s photograph. “The truth hurts. I lost my father, and now I lost my mother. I lost my family. I lost everything.”
Tomohisa bit his lips, his vision clouded with tears, unable to control his emotions. He too felt the same way as his friend, having lost their only family. Unlike Jin, he had accepted that his family was gone from the start nevertheless reality still hurts.
“I should throw this photo away, right? This family don’t exist anymore.”
Memories though how painful they were, should be kept safely in the back of their minds, to prove that they existed at some point of a time.
“Even if they’re gone, they were your family. They would and will always be a part of you, Jin. From now on, just remember the good old days you’ve spent with them. It would be hard but years along the road, I’m sure we will overcome the hole in our hearts.”
“You’re very strong, Tomohisa. I wish I could be as strong as you.” Jin gripped the photo hard.
No, I am not strong at all, Tomohisa wanted to say but he kept silent instead, looking at his friend.
“Jin, remember our promise about the dream?”
Jin nodded.
“Let’s really make it a reality. Even if the steps to stardom would be hard, let our dream come true. You said it that day, right? We too could have a place in society. We should not be treated differently because of our past. We’re humans too. ”
“I’ll be the singer, you’ll be my manager?” Jin sniffed.
Tomohisa nodded.
“Then bring it on, we have a right to succeed in life too.”
They were strangers who became friends, connected by the same fate. The promise that they had once made was not forgotten, the both of them trying their hardest to not let their success from disappearing.
Deep down within them, they were still best friends.
-
Author’s Note: Hmm, hoped you liked this chapter? To the end of this chapter, it was more to the history between Jin and his manager, Yamapi’s past being revealed too. I’m going to post the update of ‘A New Life is Born’ right after this. Initially I wanted to update all my 3 fics at once (as a present for the coming new year) but I haven’t got to write the toddler Kame fic yet so that one will be a day or two later. Enjoy the fic updates from me!!! To you readers, who had commented for this year, thank you! Comment lots next year? *huggles*
Author: hanez
Genre: Angst, AU
Theme: Celebrity Jin / High School Student Kazuya
Rating: PG
Summary: Kazuya is a third year high school student, and is a great fan of Akanishi Jin, Japan's most popular and hottest male singer, who is cool but cold on the outside. His appearance is simply a facade, wanting to please the high expectation of fans. Deep down inside, Jin was a lonely young man, who lacked of love. Kazuya's one wish is to meet his idol one day, and when he was given the chance, he had fallen for him hard, getting himself involve into a world so different from his.
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me.
-
“Okaasan?”
Jin voiced out, his eyes frantically searching for the one familiar face amongst the crowd of strangers. He knew no one but his mother. He had no one else but her, but her figure was nowhere to be seen. Jin’s eyes glimmered with tears as he squatted down, shivering with coldness, the fear of the situation started to put a toll on him.
He waited, and waited but his mother did never come back for him.
-
It was time to tell someone about his past, Jin thought, glancing at Kazuya who was busy listening to his mp3, his expression soulful. Kazuya is really special, someone whom he really treasure and trust the most than anyone else so he deserved to know.
Knowing Kazuya would not hear him, Jin sat next to his lover on the bed, reaching for his hand. That one action caught Kazuya’s attention as he removed the earphones from his ear and looked up at Jin.
“What’s wrong?”
“I need to tell you something.” Jin tightened his hold on Kazuya’s hand, debating whether to tell him or not. “I’ve never told anyone before so …”
“Jin, you know you can tell me anything.” Kazuya squeezed his hand as a form of encouragement.
Jin smiled and nodded, he took a deep breathe before continuing.
“Unlike others, I have a sad childhood.” He started. “My father died when I was only ten, and I was abandoned by my mother, my only kin left in this world, after his death. She just … disappeared and left me all alone at the funeral. I thought that she would come back for me but she did not, I eventually ended up in the orphanage’s home. Even if being put in that place, I hoped that she would one day come back to me but as days turned into months, and years, the hope died. As a result, I became a man with no feelings or emotions.”
Kazuya’s eyes cluttered with tears, his heart hurt hearing Jin’s sad past. So that was why Jin was so cold hearted the first time he met his favourite idol. It wasn’t because Jin was arrogant over his popular status but because his past made him the man he was.
“I didn’t believe in love before I met you, Kazuya. Love caused a great deal of pain to me so why love someone else when it was the very reason for this broken heart of mine? But meeting you changed me completely. I would never think that I would feel to love again. You taught me how to smile, to laugh freely without any restrictions, more importantly you made me feel again. You made me feel alive and that even if I make mistakes in the future, I know that I am loved by someone, by you. My past didn’t matter anymore because I know I have you.”
“Jin!” Kazuya embraced him, his arms wrapped tightly around his back. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know that my presence brought a big impact to your life. I didn’t know that I was so important to you as you are to me. I’m really touched and grateful for your love.”
Jin pulled away, placing his hands on Kazuya’s shoulders so he was facing him.
“You are important to me, Kazuya. You hold a special place in my heart that no one else can, this heart it only beats for you.” Jin placed their intertwined hands on his heart.
Kazuya nodded, the tears that he shed refused to stop.
“I’m glad I fainted in the middle of the car park exit.” He murmured once he got control of his emotions.
Jin laughed. “I remember that clearly! You’re lucky that it was me who brought you home to have you checked upon. Who knows what would have happened to you if it was anyone else? You could have been kidnapped, Kazuya!” He teased, suddenly forgetting about the serious talk he had with his lover a moment ago.
“Yeah, I’m glad it was you.” Kazuya grinned. “Do you have any idea how shocked I was meeting my favourite idol in personal? I fainted twice in the span of two days.”
Jin smiled.
“You know, your determination to break the barrier in me was what attracted me to you. I denied it then but that was the truth. Other people would have long given up on me but you didn’t instead you kept chasing me until I accept your presence.”
“No one should be deprived of the thing called emotions. I am no psychic but looking at your photos in magazines, I can tell that you’re not really smiling. You smile but the smile does not reach your eyes, and having met you personally, I realise for the first time that your eyes held so much sadness. It saddened me that was why I wished then that I could be the one to warm up your heart.”
“Well, one thing for sure …” Jin caressed Kazuya’s cheeks gently. “You were successful. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be as happy as I am right now.”
“Because of you too, I am happy, Jin.”
-
Jin was invited to Kazuya’s private 18th birthday party. His boyfriend had assured him that there would only be his family and his two best friends so he did not need to worry about strangers discovering that they know each other.
“You’re finally eighteen, Kazuya!” Koki shouted the instance Kazuya finished making his wish after blowing out all the candles on his birthday cake.
“What do you mean by that? I’m still underage as far as I know.”
“Koki meant that you’ve finally turned eighteen of us three. Nevertheless you’re still the baby in our group. Am I right?” Nakamaru butted in.
“Shut up!” Kazuya ignored his two best friends and turned to face his lover. “Do you want cake, Jin?”
“Ah, yes please.”
“Then you’re in charge of cutting the cake, Kazuya.” Mrs Kamenashi said. “Jin, don’t be shy and eat all you want, okay? There’s more than enough food for everyone.”
“Yes, thank you.”
“You’re surprisingly polite, Jin-kun. I’m glad you’re friends with Kazuya.” Mr Kamenashi stated, flashing the latter a gentle smile.
“Yeah, Jin here is better than the two guys there.” Yoijiro pointed to Kazuya’s best friends, obviously teasing them. Koki coughed loudly as if disagreeing to that point while Nakamaru simply smiled, thinking that those words were indeed the truth.
Akanishi Jin would forever be ten times better than them because he holds a special place in Kazuya’s heart, and no one would be able to replace that position. To Kazuya, Jin is his number one.
“Here’s your cake, Jin.” Kazuya cheerfully announced as he handed him the plate.
“Thank you.”
Kazuya pretended to place the knife down when he had finished handing his family their cake. He smirked when he saw the pout on Koki’s lips, his arms crossed at being left out.
“Kazuya, what about us?” Koki complained, referring to Nakamaru and him who still have not received their cakes. “We want cake too! That’s the reason we came here for!”
Nakamaru chuckled.
“What? You came here just for the cake, and not to celebrate my birthday?” Kazuya feigned hurt.
“Well both …” Koki replied non-chastely.
“Koki!!!”
“Kazuya, just give them their cakes. Poor them, they too would want to have a taste of this delicious cake.” Mrs Kamenashi reprimanded her son causing him to pout, and concede to her request.
“Fine.”
“It seems that Jin is the only one who’s mature here. You three are ever so childish.” Koji teased. “Jin, don’t mind them. They’re always like this whenever they’re together.”
“Ah, not at all, I can tell that they’re really good friends. It’s good to have friends that you can rely on.”
Nakamaru nodded. “We’re not only Kazuya’s friends but yours too. Am I right, Koki?” He nudged his friend on the shoulder. Jin felt touched at that statement, Kazuya smiled, holding his lover’s hand underneath the table.
“But friends have their phone numbers, right? So you should give us your mobile number too, we promise we won’t tell anyone else!” Koki pleaded, acting cute.
“Sure, I’ll give it to you later.”
Jin flashed Kazuya a warm smile. He had not made one but two friends in knowing him. He was glad because he too needed friends in his life besides his beloved lover. The three of them, Jin imagined, would be his family from now on.
-
Kazuya walked down the stairs of Jin’’s mansion, surprised to see Yamashita in the living room, seemingly deep in thought. A mischievous grin appeared on his face as he tiptoed slowly to the back of the couch Yamashita was sitting on and surprised him.
“Boooo!!!!!” Kazuya shoved Yamashita gently on the shoulders causing the latter to shake and got on his feet seconds later. “What are you doing?”
“What am I doing? I should be the one asking you that.” He murmured.
Kazuya giggled. “No, seriously. You seemed out of space for a moment, thought I should bring you to reality. It’s funny though seeing your reaction.”
Yamashita flashed Kazuya a ridiculed look, he blinked at the friendly manner Kazuya was talking to him. It was as if he was his … friend. They never really talked properly so to be in conversation with the younger one was just plain weird.
“Are you staying for dinner? If you are, I’ll cook your share too!”
“Eh?”
“For dinner, the chef will take a rest, and I’ll take over. Jin already knows about this.” Seeing the blank look Yamashita was giving him, Kazuya quickly said, “Don’t worry, I’m good in cooking. You’ll be surprise of my skills!”
“Ano …”
“Then it’s settled!” Kazuya pushed Yamashita back to the sofa. “Dinner will be served shortly!”
He skipped to the kitchen happily.
I didn’t even say ‘Yes’ …
“What an idiot.” Yamashita whispered, clearly amused.
-
Kazuya clasped his hands, waiting in anticipation as Jin finished munching his food. His attention was full on his lover that he did not notice the impressed expression on Yamashita’s face.
“How is it, Jin?”
“It’s really delicious, Kazuya! I never tasted food as delicious as this before!”
“Really?” Kazuya looked down and blush.
“Hmm! I’m definitely going to finish up everything!” Jin started to add more to his bowl of rice, eating happily.
Kazuya smiled and turned to face the other man. “How about you, Yamapi?”
“Yamapi??” Both Jin and Yamashita said simultaneously.
“That’s because ‘Yamashita-san’ is too long, it’s really tiring when I want to call you every single time so I shortened the name. I thought ‘Yamapi’ isn’t that bad. What do you think?”
Yamashita was even more impressed than before, “Akanishi, your boyfriend is really something.” He could not help but admit that fact, Kazuya was far from what he imagined him to be.
“Now you know, Kazuya’s one of a kind.” Jin embraced Kazuya protectively, who smiled in response.
“So can I call you ‘Yamapi’?” Kazuya asked again.
“Well I suppose so …” Yamashita finally relented.
“That’s great!”
Throughout the dinner, Yamashita witnessed something beautiful, the smiles, the teasing and laughter from the couple was so beautiful and genuine that it unexpectedly brought a smile to his always serious face. His heart felt at ease looking at the scene in front of him.
He finally understood.
-
Jin’s mother kept on coming to his mansion, to which he rejected her presence every single time. That woman did not know the meaning of giving up, he thought in anger. Kazuya flashed his boyfriend a concern look the moment Jin instructed his butler to usher said woman to leave, yet once again.
“Jin, are you sure you’re alright in doing that?” Kazuya asked.
“Yeah, don’t worry about it, Kazu. That woman means nothing to me. I don’t care if I don’t have a real kin anymore. I have you, my friends, and your family.”
Kazuya nodded, reaching for Jin’s hand.
“But whatever it is, Jin, she’s still your mother. What if is she really regrets what she did to you, and truly wants nothing else but your forgiveness? Even if she had done so many wrongs, a mother is a mother, right? She can’t possibly forget about her child forever, perhaps deep down … she still loves you.”
“I wish that was the case though. I don’t trust her, and I don’t think I ever can …” Jin replied sadly, biting his lips.
“Maybe one day, when you’re ready, you should give her a chance. I’m not trying to force you or anything but, you won’t know the result if you don’t try. So promise me, if your heart is finally able to accept your mother once again, you won’t hesitate to acknowledge her?”
Jin caressed Kazuya’s cheeks lovingly, “I promise.”
-
Akanishi Hiromi stared at the poster of ‘Akanishi Jin’ on her wall, her eyes burning with frustration. She lit up a cigarette, puffing it for a few times before her anger took control of her. She ripped the poster and crumpled it together, throwing it on the floor.
“Damn.”
Hiromi messed up her hair and leaned back against the sofa, taking yet another puff of her cigarette.
-
Kazuya was playing catching yet again with Jin, he shrieked in surprise when a pair of arms suddenly hugged him from behind. He calmed down when he recognised Jin’s presence. Kazuya looked around and realised that he was in their bedroom, he didn’t even realise that in the beginning. He chuckled.
“What are you laughing about?”
“No … thing. It’s just that I ended up in this bedroom once again.”
“You belong here after all.” Jin started to tickle Kazuya, the latter trying to get out of his tight grasp whilst laughing uncontrollably.
“Jin, stop … It tickles … Haha … so much …”
“This is your punishment for running away from me. Come here, Kazu.” Jin teased.
“Jin …”
Kazuya slipped and fell flat on the bed, causing Jin to topple on top of him as their arms are interlinked with each other’s. Jin gazed onto Kazuya’s beautiful brown orbs full with love, a sudden desire started to grow on him.
“I’m glad it was you. You’re the key to my locked heart, and now, right now … my heart is rejoicing with happiness. You’re the best thing that had ever happened in my life, Kazu. I wished I could have met you sooner.”
“It’s fate.” Kazuya’s lips curved into a smile.
Jin nodded; they continued staring at one another in total silence before Kazuya broke it.
“Jin?”
“Hmm?” He answered absentmindedly.
“What are you going to do?”
Jin was not that dumb to not be able to decipher what Kazuya had meant by that, so he brushed the younger one’s hair gently and replied, “I want to make you mine. Is that okay with you? You don’t have to force yourself if you don’t want to.”
“No, I want to.” Kazuya whispered.
Jin leaned down to kiss Kazuya on the lips, the latter closed his eyes as he anticipated those soft lips crush on his and when it did, Kazuya instinctively wrapped his arms around Jin’s neck. Slowly but steadily, their clothes were thrown to the floor, the both of them stark naked.
Kazuya relaxed when he sees the kind expression on his lover’s face, he heard the gentle words Jin whispered to him, easing his mind a little. Kazuya gripped the bed sheets tightly; trying his best to control the pain the instance Jin entered him. Jin was gentle nevertheless it still hurt.
“I love you, Kazuya. I love you so much.” Jin murmured.
“I love you too, Jin.”
It was Kazuya’s first time making love, and so was it for Jin.
-
Next morning, Kazuya stood by the window, wrapped in a blanket. He smiled dreamily as he looked out of the window. Jin appeared behind him and hugged him lovingly, kissing his neck. It couldn’t be any more perfect.
“Ohayo.” Jin tightened his hold on Kazuya, smiling.
“Ohayo, Jin.”
Jin had put on a pair of loose pants the minute he woke up and sees Kazuya awoken, his upper body still bare without any clothes on, well not that Kazuya mind. His lover turned to face him, at that point of time, he saw the most beautiful smile Kazuya had ever flashed, that it warmed his heart. Kazuya leaned his head against Jin’s chest, to which he responded by placing his arms around Kazuya’s back, pulling him closer.
He closed his eyes as he relished this moment.
Why does this feel like this moment will disappear?
-
Jin stood by the window in his living room, deep in his thoughts, pondering about what Kazuya had advised him in regards to his mother. He held such deep hatred for her, for if it wasn’t for her, he would not have suffered a great deal of pain. Perhaps he could have the perfect family he wished for.
Forgiveness …
Was it really that easy to forgive someone who had badly affected his life so much?
With forgiveness, his hatred, his pain all would be gone in a split second, replaced by happiness. Was that really so? More importantly, was he ready to forgive his mother?
“Jin!”
A familiar voice interrupted his thoughts, bringing him back to the real world.
“What were you thinking about?” Kazuya asked in pure curiosity, “Don’t tell me you were thinking perverted thoughts of me?!” He teased.
Jin didn’t answer but simply pulled Kazuya into his arms, brushing the younger one’s hair gently as his lips formed into a grin. However that silent moment did not last forever …
“Akanishi-san.”
Jin recognised his butler’s voice but what he did not expect was his mother standing next to him. He immediately lets go of Kazuya, suddenly feeling the unwanted atmosphere in the living room. Kazuya, who was clueless about the entire situation, looked from Jin to the woman and back to Jin, it didn’t take him long to process things.
“Jin?” Kazuya smiled, happy to finally meet Jin’s mother.
“Go upstairs, I’ll be there soon.” He whispered.
Kazuya bowed to Jin’s mother in respect before hurrying up the stairs and into their bedroom. Akanishi Hiromi stared at the teenage boy with scrutiny eyes, suspicious of their so-called actions that she had accidentally seen earlier.
“Who is he?” Hiromi found herself asking her son that question.
“Who are you to question me? As for I know, you’re the outsider here.” Jin spat, and turned to face his butler. “Who gave you the permission to let her in?”
“I’m sorry …” His butler bowed, apologising for his mistake.
“Jin, it’s not his fault. I begged him to let me in.” Hiromi held Jin’s arms, looking at him directly in the eyes. “What do okaasan need to do for you to forgive me? I’ll do whatever you ask me to, please. You are important to me.”
“If I mean so much to you, then why didn’t you come back for me when I was trapped in that orphanage home? I was afraid, I was lonely, hell I had no one! You were the only one kin that I had ever left and you freaking abandoned me! Tell me how I am supposed to forgive you with the torture you put me through! My childhood had been nothing but a nightmare thanks to you!”
“Jin … I’m really … sorry.” Hiromi looked down, in regret.
“Just … leave, and don’t come back here anymore.”
Hiromi’s eyes cluttered with tears, she bowed deeply at her son before rushing out of the door. Yamashita who was on the way to the living room, bumped into her, he was shocked and frozen to his position when he recognised who that woman was. With heavy steps, he walked to where Jin was, instantly asking him who that person was.
“My mother.”
Yamashita’s eyes widened at that statement, “That woman … she … she’s your mother?”
Yamashita asked Jin to stay away from her despite knowing that the truth.
He sensed that she’s up to no good.
Jin nodded, ‘She doesn’t matter. After all, I’ve been alone all these years.” He said sadly.
At those words, Yamashita bit his lips; he too understood that feeling so much. He blinked back his tears and walked away.
-
“Okaasan?”
Yamashita Tomohisa opened his parents’ door really gently, what greeted him was not a sight he should see at his age. His father was kissing someone, someone … who was not his mother. Tomohisa looked at the scene in confusion, even if he did not understand, his heart hurt. It felt as if his father was betraying his mother, who loved him so much.
“Oh my god, Tomohisa!” His father panicked when he sees his son by the door, he immediately pushed the woman off of him. “You have to leave.” He said to her coldly before heading towards his trembling son.
“What, you rather choose your son than me?”
“Just leave!!!”
The woman grunted, as she got up from the bed. Tomohisa sees her face for the first time, watching her until she disappeared from the bedroom.
“Tomohisa, this is our little secret, okay? Don’t tell your mother or she’ll be sad. You don’t want her to be sad, am I right?”
Tomohisa shook his head, oblivious to what he had just agreed on.
He didn’t know that that woman would bring tears to his beloved mother. It caused her so much misery, and pain, having discovered the cruel truth that her husband had an affair with another woman, to the extent that it drew her to her death. She killed herself.
“Okaasan!!! Okaaasan!! Wake up!!!!” Tomohisa shook his mother violently. His hands dirtied with blood as he called his mother continuously, his face wet with tears. “Okaaaaaaaaasan!!!!”
Up until this point of time, Tomohisa remembered the woman’s face clearly. How could he not when she was the cause of his mother’s death? He had forgotten about his past, buried with work these past few years. He was shocked to see that face again but what he did not expect the most was when he learnt the identity of the woman he loathed so much.
That woman … is Akanishi’s mother.
-
Yamashita Tomohisa placed the bouquet of flowers in front of the tombstone as he bent down, staring at the name carved on the grey stone. He bit his lip as bittersweet memories swam past his mind, causing him to recall the unwanted past of his, one that he thought he had forgotten until awhile ago, having seen that face.
“Okaasan, I met her, the woman who caused all the unhappiness in our family. Of course, it was not entirely her fault, otoosan was at fault too. But I feel better this way if I put all the blame to her. If it wasn’t for her, you would still be alive and otoosan …” Tomohisa paused, his tone quavering at the mention of his father. “Ah, it’s nothing. You don’t have to worry about anything. Otoosan is doing great after all his filial son is taking good care of him.”
She’s my mother.
He should hate him too, right? After all Akanishi is that woman’s son …
She … she’s … your mother?
“I really didn’t expect Akanishi to be her son, okaasan. Even if I wanted to, I can’t hate him. I can’t. He and I … we’ve been together since I’ve entered the orphanage. I know him inside out, he … he was my best friend. He was the only friend I ever had.” Tomohisa whispered, holding the tombstone. He wiped away the tears that had fallen from his eyes with his sleeves, biting his lips in hopes that the tears would stop but to no avail, it kept falling freely.
“This is a secret between the two of us, okay? I would pretend as if I know nothing at all. I would hide the truth from him because I know … knowing the truth hurts, and I don’t want another person to be hurt anymore. The hurting had to stop, seriously. It had to.”
Akanishi is so happy with Kazuya, the love that he had found. Tomohisa would not be as cruel as to snatch the happiness away from him. He was not that type of man. He hated his mother but not the son.
“I hope you understand okaasan. You always understand this son of yours, right?” Tomohisa tear up again. “I missed you, okaasan. I really miss you …”
Tomohisa shook his head, and smiled.
“I’m sorry I broke my promise. I wouldn’t cry in front of you again. For you, I’ll definitely be strong and move on.” He got up, taking a deep breathe. “I’ll visit you again, okaasan. Wait for me, okay?”
Tomohisa took one last glance at his mother’s grave before walking away from it, and down the stairs.
Akanishi and he … shared the same fate.
Both lost their loved ones at such a young age. Tomohisa didn’t know that they would be connected in this way, a cruel and hurtful fact that would tarnish the situation even more nevertheless Tomohisa knew that their bond would not be broken that easily.
-
Nine year old Tomohisa crouched down in a corner of the room, his head hiding in the comfort of his legs as he cried, cried for the situation he was in, a situation that would not be reversed no matter how he wished it could be. This small room would be his bedroom, and this place would be his new home from now on, always.
“I don’t want! I want to go home …” Tomohisa whispered painfully, the truth hit him hard in the head.
Though he was only nine, he understood perfectly. There would not be any home for him. The house that he had lived all his life was not his home anymore as for the people he loved … they were all gone now, leaving him all alone.
“Why …” Tomohisa cried, he paused when he felt a sudden pat on his shoulder.
“Hello! Are you my new roommate?” A taller boy came into view, his lips forming into a bright smile. “Ah, it seems that you are, right? Otherwise why would you be here? I’m so excited! I’ve been all alone in this room for the past few months and it was so lonely, I tell you! I’m glad I now finally have a friend to talk to!!!”
Tomohisa flashed the other boy a blank expression, was he that dumb to read the atmosphere?
“My name’s Akanishi Jin! What is yours?”
Tomohisa blinked at the sudden question nevertheless he answered it with a small voice,
“Yamashita Tomohisa.”
“Tomohisa-kun! Let’s play!” Jin suggested causing Tomohisa to look at him in confusion. “Instead of sitting down and crying, it’s better to waste our energy in playing, right? In here, you’re not alone. If you’re afraid of having no friends, you have me!” He flashed the other one a gentle smile, handing out his hand.
“So let’s play?”
Tomohisa smiled, and nodded slowly, taking the hand in his.
-
“Why are you so cheerful? Don’t you feel sad being abandoned by your mother? I always feel sad when I think of my situation. I’ll cry.” Tomohisa had not seen the older boy cry or sad, not even once, instead a large smile would always appear on his face.
“That’s because I believe my mother will come back for me!” Jin answered confidently.
“But what if she …”
Jin shook his head stubbornly, “Okaasan will come back for me! I believe! She won’t be that cruel as to leave me here forever, I’m her son after all.”
Tomohisa looked at Jin with such sad eyes, he was lucky that he still had his mother, but for Tomohisa, he had no one else. His mother was dead while his father would not be able to visit him in that condition, not now, not ever, Tomohisa thought.
Jin had the hope to move on with his life but he had none at all.
-
Tomohisa entered the white room as his eyes gazed at the figure slumped in the corner, hands all restricted. Seeing this scene yet once again hurt him deeply but they had no other choice. He walked towards the figure and squatted next to him.
“Otoosan …” He whispered. “How are you doing?”
The older man’s face remained emotionless as he looked at the white ceiling.
“Okaasan doesn’t know of your condition, how you turned for the worse after her death. I didn’t tell her because I don’t want her to feel sad anymore. She’s free now … she should be happy wherever she is now, right?” Tomohisa said, his eyes cluttered with tears. “Despite hurting her many times, deep down you really love her, am I right, otoosan? You loved her so much that …”
At that sentence, Tomohisa’s father looked at him, his gaze sad as if understanding what his son had just said.
“I’ve accepted our family’s fate a long time ago but somehow a part of me still does not want to let it go.” Tomohisa bit his lips as tears fell from his eyes. “Why? Why must this happen to us? Why … otoosan? Why ….”
Tomohisa knelt down and cried.
-
Tomohisa skipped to the bedroom, in hope of finding his friend to play with him. His smile faded away when he saw Jin on his bed, crying. Tomohisa hurriedly rushed to his friend, and patted on his shoulder, his eyes full of concern.
“What’s wrong?”
Jin turned to face Tomohisa, his eyes puffy due to the tears he shed.
“Okaasan … she won’t ever come back for me, right? She had long given up on this child of hers, the day she abandoned me, but I refused to accept the truth! Instead of accepting, hoping that she would come back felt much better. I truly feel that way but now … it has been three years.” Jin looked down on his family’s photograph. “The truth hurts. I lost my father, and now I lost my mother. I lost my family. I lost everything.”
Tomohisa bit his lips, his vision clouded with tears, unable to control his emotions. He too felt the same way as his friend, having lost their only family. Unlike Jin, he had accepted that his family was gone from the start nevertheless reality still hurts.
“I should throw this photo away, right? This family don’t exist anymore.”
Memories though how painful they were, should be kept safely in the back of their minds, to prove that they existed at some point of a time.
“Even if they’re gone, they were your family. They would and will always be a part of you, Jin. From now on, just remember the good old days you’ve spent with them. It would be hard but years along the road, I’m sure we will overcome the hole in our hearts.”
“You’re very strong, Tomohisa. I wish I could be as strong as you.” Jin gripped the photo hard.
No, I am not strong at all, Tomohisa wanted to say but he kept silent instead, looking at his friend.
“Jin, remember our promise about the dream?”
Jin nodded.
“Let’s really make it a reality. Even if the steps to stardom would be hard, let our dream come true. You said it that day, right? We too could have a place in society. We should not be treated differently because of our past. We’re humans too. ”
“I’ll be the singer, you’ll be my manager?” Jin sniffed.
Tomohisa nodded.
“Then bring it on, we have a right to succeed in life too.”
They were strangers who became friends, connected by the same fate. The promise that they had once made was not forgotten, the both of them trying their hardest to not let their success from disappearing.
Deep down within them, they were still best friends.
-
Author’s Note: Hmm, hoped you liked this chapter? To the end of this chapter, it was more to the history between Jin and his manager, Yamapi’s past being revealed too. I’m going to post the update of ‘A New Life is Born’ right after this. Initially I wanted to update all my 3 fics at once (as a present for the coming new year) but I haven’t got to write the toddler Kame fic yet so that one will be a day or two later. Enjoy the fic updates from me!!! To you readers, who had commented for this year, thank you! Comment lots next year? *huggles*