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I went to the bodega to get some salmon and rye (cause I'm healthy) and cream cheese (cause sometimes I'm not). It was late so that's pretty much the only option next to those burgers you microwave ( Read more... )

Hollywood, CA - A visibly haggard Martin Scorsese talked through his twenty-third consecutive hour of an acceptance speech today at the annual Golden Globe Awards while brandishing a .44 Magnum Handgun and holding on to a nearby podium for support ( Read more... )

I just got finished reading the (unedited) Diary of a Young Girl, by Anne Frank and for the first time. Ever read it? It's sad: it makes you think of all the things that a person is from their most sentimental flights of fancy--like a adolescent crush--to their bitter rages--like Anne fighting with her mother who "didn't understand her ( Read more... )

I think I'm preggers. I can't seem to get enough white toast and butter.

...oh, and Pan's Labyrinth was fucking gross.


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You can tell your relationship is serious when you begin to emulate other serious relationships. This doesn't mean the sit-com style of relationship laden with cute glances, baby talk and funny one-liners about having to take out the trash during the big game. It's, instead, the kind of relationship fraught with subtle tension, uneasy staring and ( Read more... )

Roomate: Hey, dude. Are you gonna use the bathroom ( Read more... )

I don't want to write this entry. I just want to sit here, in the dark and on my bed eating these Mint Flavored Newman-O's. I want to be depressed even though I don't have any reason to be.

I'm going home to my momma, sister and friends in California and I'm taking E to meet them all. This should be a great moment--and it is ( Read more... )

My roommate was talking to me about how Michelle Wie is trying, with much difficulty, to join the men's PGA tour. He thinks she should stay in the WPGA and help to boost the notoriety of female oriented sports instead of diverting attention to a battle against Old Boys Club style sports (which golf most certainly is ( Read more... )

About fifteen minutes ago Donald Rumsfeld resigned. This comes after months of Rumsfeld holding fast to a position many people said he was unfit for.

And five minutes ago, three four-star generals mugged and assaulted Donald Rumsfeld a few feet from his car, a 2004 Dodge Stratus.