chillin out nice and relaxin all cool
Taking a break to play around on my computer, I decided to waste some extra time by writing some stuff (well, actually typing to be exactly correct) in here. I had some interesting thoughts hit me today, and even more have bombarded me as I've been reading James Joyce's The Dead. Joyce is such a nut... it's so hard to follow along with his stream-of-consciousness style, but it also activates my own stream of consciousness to run a little louder alongside of what I'm reading, so it's like I have two brains working at once. It has begun to tire me out, though, thus I am taking a break. That all probably makes no sense unless you have actually experienced this phenomenon while reading Joyce or some other modernist writer, but it's pretty schweet.
What's the deal with underwear? I critically analyzed its role throughout different stages of life today, and came to the final conclusion that underwear can be a major marker of ones progress through life. It goes like this: when you're between the ages of 0 and 11, you wear it because you've always worn it -- and that's because your mom always laid it out on your bed for you and most kids between the ages of 0 and 11 wear most of what their mothers lay out for them without rebellion. side note: all kids, of course, enjoy making subtle ... or sometimes not-so-subtle wardrobe substitutions... but most leave underwear in as part of the ensemble. Once you reach the 6th grade age of 12, however, you begin to experience the self-conscious glory that is a middle school P.E. locker room, and even though no one really looks, feel like your underwear should be more on the cute than purely functional side. So begins the evolution of personal underwear buying choices to the fashion-conscious mode. This mode only accelerates in high school, which is even more choice-conscious if one participates in athletics. Changing in front of one's athletic peers often leads to underwear choices that likely enhance the appearance of their muscular bootays. Yeah, if you have one of those, you enjoyed the indent on the side of your bootay just below the hip where all the muscles overlap. Moving on... once it is no longer an issue to change in front of others on a daily basis, at some point or another there is a phase where one chooses not to wear underwear at all. I like to think of this as the glorified giggly booty phase. You know what it looks like, a girl who thinks she is slyly getting away with not wearing any, and her ass just jiggles from one side of Sanford Bridge to the other. I know mine did, and maybe does, but I'll never tell. Anyway, there also runs parallel to this phase the Wear the Most Sex Pottish Underwear I Can Find phase, which is another glorified phase. No detailed explanation necessary for this phase. Once you're well into your mid-20s I can't really see where the trend goes; I think somewhere in the direction of plain, functional, but flattering, and non-grandma regular underwear. Think of the GAP Body section. The flattery only goes downhill after your mid-30s or so, I guess, depending on when you have kids. Mass and volume of your selections will increase by a seemingly exponential rate the older you get, and eventually your underwear will be more of a multiple-support body suit.
Something else about underwear: does color really mean anything? This is an issue I have not yet resolved with myself. There seems to be a general belief that black indicates horniness or sexuality, but what about green? Green is my favorite color, and I'd like to know what green underwear "mean." Red and pink are SO overdone that they should be left on the shelves. ew. What about white? Too I'm-seven-years-old-and-my-mom-laid-these-out-for-me look? I don't know, I don't own any white, I'm afraid to buy it for that very reason.
Most importantly, does underwear even matter at all? Are some people just too wedgied up on something that's actually quite insignificant? The answer to this might be found from taking a poll of the general public. With a large, random sample size, of course (go go AP Stat). I have a feeling that this might not ever happen, or at least not to a truly random sample size because it seems that most people are uncomfortable discussing their underwear in the first place. So could this discomfort indicate that it's really not an insignificant issue? I don't know.
It's time to get back to reading James Joyce so my brain can analyze another non-crucial issue. Chao for nao.
What's the deal with underwear? I critically analyzed its role throughout different stages of life today, and came to the final conclusion that underwear can be a major marker of ones progress through life. It goes like this: when you're between the ages of 0 and 11, you wear it because you've always worn it -- and that's because your mom always laid it out on your bed for you and most kids between the ages of 0 and 11 wear most of what their mothers lay out for them without rebellion. side note: all kids, of course, enjoy making subtle ... or sometimes not-so-subtle wardrobe substitutions... but most leave underwear in as part of the ensemble. Once you reach the 6th grade age of 12, however, you begin to experience the self-conscious glory that is a middle school P.E. locker room, and even though no one really looks, feel like your underwear should be more on the cute than purely functional side. So begins the evolution of personal underwear buying choices to the fashion-conscious mode. This mode only accelerates in high school, which is even more choice-conscious if one participates in athletics. Changing in front of one's athletic peers often leads to underwear choices that likely enhance the appearance of their muscular bootays. Yeah, if you have one of those, you enjoyed the indent on the side of your bootay just below the hip where all the muscles overlap. Moving on... once it is no longer an issue to change in front of others on a daily basis, at some point or another there is a phase where one chooses not to wear underwear at all. I like to think of this as the glorified giggly booty phase. You know what it looks like, a girl who thinks she is slyly getting away with not wearing any, and her ass just jiggles from one side of Sanford Bridge to the other. I know mine did, and maybe does, but I'll never tell. Anyway, there also runs parallel to this phase the Wear the Most Sex Pottish Underwear I Can Find phase, which is another glorified phase. No detailed explanation necessary for this phase. Once you're well into your mid-20s I can't really see where the trend goes; I think somewhere in the direction of plain, functional, but flattering, and non-grandma regular underwear. Think of the GAP Body section. The flattery only goes downhill after your mid-30s or so, I guess, depending on when you have kids. Mass and volume of your selections will increase by a seemingly exponential rate the older you get, and eventually your underwear will be more of a multiple-support body suit.
Something else about underwear: does color really mean anything? This is an issue I have not yet resolved with myself. There seems to be a general belief that black indicates horniness or sexuality, but what about green? Green is my favorite color, and I'd like to know what green underwear "mean." Red and pink are SO overdone that they should be left on the shelves. ew. What about white? Too I'm-seven-years-old-and-my-mom-laid-these-out-for-me look? I don't know, I don't own any white, I'm afraid to buy it for that very reason.
Most importantly, does underwear even matter at all? Are some people just too wedgied up on something that's actually quite insignificant? The answer to this might be found from taking a poll of the general public. With a large, random sample size, of course (go go AP Stat). I have a feeling that this might not ever happen, or at least not to a truly random sample size because it seems that most people are uncomfortable discussing their underwear in the first place. So could this discomfort indicate that it's really not an insignificant issue? I don't know.
It's time to get back to reading James Joyce so my brain can analyze another non-crucial issue. Chao for nao.