I think we all go through this (the introverts), we somehow convince ourselves to go and do things we don't really wanna do because JUST MAYBE WE WILL MAGICALLY CHANGE AND LOVE IT NOW! Then we get upset with ourselves for not being like other people and make ourselves miserable by forcing ourselves to do stuff we don't REALLY wanna do and then being upset that we can't seem to enjoy it like other people seem to.
I think over years we learn to love and accept who we are and realize that it's okay to honestly enjoy being alone more or to do more calming/creative activities... and people will appreciate and love us for exactly who we are.
I like dancing (as you saw) and drinking but if it gets too out of balance I start to freak out because I seriously value my alone time and my creative time so much... and I then get bitter and annoyed by everyone for constantly wanting to do crap that doesn't really do much in the long run other than making us lose money and possibly make our health crap. Haha.
ANYWAY I'm glad I eventually realized that I was just making myself miserable by constantly getting down on myself for not being like others and once I started to appreciate and celebrate the unique aspects of my identity, that was when people started to notice me more. Come on, everyone loves eccentric artists!
p.s KINDA RELATED - having shows is SO SCARY for someone like me, having people look at my work IN FRONT OF ME, and having to INTERACT with people who are there TO LOOK AT MY STUFF. Holy crap, talk about a NIGHTMARE.
AHHHHHHH, I was thinking about your show and I posted a picture of it on my tumblr and then secretly I was like 'ohmigosh I hope it was ok that I did that, huhu.' I want to comment on stuff but I've been bad with commenting because my head has been a little overwhelmed. But I know what you mean, the first few times I was even IN ANYTHING, I would NOT GO NEAR where I had my stuff and people would be like 'you should stand by your piece and talk to people!' and I was like 'NOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' I think it adds to it if it's a personal piece!!
YEAH, it's a bit scary. I used to even get that way with some critiques in school and would ask things like 'can I get credit if I turn in my work to critique but just don't show up?' It's taken me a bit to get better at that kind of stuff.
Ha.. that movie is Kiki's Delivery Service! I haven't seen it in YEARS but I'd like to again! I remember really liking it a lot in middle school. Pretty much anything Hayao Miyazaki is good and weird!
You kind of said what I was trying to articulate! "we somehow convince ourselves to go and do things we don't really wanna do because JUST MAYBE WE WILL MAGICALLY CHANGE AND LOVE IT NOW! Then we get upset with ourselves for not being like other people and make ourselves miserable by forcing ourselves to do stuff we don't REALLY wanna do and then being upset that we can't seem to enjoy it like other people seem to."
HAHAHAHAHA IT'S SO STUPID!!! WHY DO WE DO IT!?!?
I like going out. SOMETIMES. Also my parameters are like. Usually pretty specific. If I go out like we went out in Victoria I can usually only do it once and a while but not every week and maybe not even every month. XD If I KNOW EVERYBODY, I like to go out in a little group of close friends that pretty much stays together. I can actually REALLY like going out when it's like that! I just prefer certain situations I guess. Like I LOVED going out to the bar with my boyfriend and playing DnD with his close friends but I really kind of hated going to the gay bar with my ex? I dunno. There are probably other factors in there like comfort zones and how I am with those people specifically.
RAMBLE I DON'T KNOW. I just like it when I'm honest with myself and when I do things that work for me.
but then when people go out in those little groups it's annoying to try to talk to any individuals 'cause it's so intimidating (when us friendless people go out by ourselves).
I think over years we learn to love and accept who we are and realize that it's okay to honestly enjoy being alone more or to do more calming/creative activities... and people will appreciate and love us for exactly who we are.
I like dancing (as you saw) and drinking but if it gets too out of balance I start to freak out because I seriously value my alone time and my creative time so much... and I then get bitter and annoyed by everyone for constantly wanting to do crap that doesn't really do much in the long run other than making us lose money and possibly make our health crap. Haha.
ANYWAY I'm glad I eventually realized that I was just making myself miserable by constantly getting down on myself for not being like others and once I started to appreciate and celebrate the unique aspects of my identity, that was when people started to notice me more. Come on, everyone loves eccentric artists!
<3
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but yeah so TERRIFYING. Shudder and to think I'll probably go through that AGAIN if I have another show... ugh.
p.s What movie is that? I feel like watching Anime tonight.
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YEAH, it's a bit scary. I used to even get that way with some critiques in school and would ask things like 'can I get credit if I turn in my work to critique but just don't show up?'
It's taken me a bit to get better at that kind of stuff.
Ha.. that movie is Kiki's Delivery Service! I haven't seen it in YEARS but I'd like to again! I remember really liking it a lot in middle school. Pretty much anything Hayao Miyazaki is good and weird!
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"we somehow convince ourselves to go and do things we don't really wanna do because JUST MAYBE WE WILL MAGICALLY CHANGE AND LOVE IT NOW! Then we get upset with ourselves for not being like other people and make ourselves miserable by forcing ourselves to do stuff we don't REALLY wanna do and then being upset that we can't seem to enjoy it like other people seem to."
HAHAHAHAHA IT'S SO STUPID!!! WHY DO WE DO IT!?!?
I like going out. SOMETIMES. Also my parameters are like. Usually pretty specific. If I go out like we went out in Victoria I can usually only do it once and a while but not every week and maybe not even every month. XD If I KNOW EVERYBODY, I like to go out in a little group of close friends that pretty much stays together. I can actually REALLY like going out when it's like that! I just prefer certain situations I guess. Like I LOVED going out to the bar with my boyfriend and playing DnD with his close friends but I really kind of hated going to the gay bar with my ex? I dunno. There are probably other factors in there like comfort zones and how I am with those people specifically.
RAMBLE I DON'T KNOW. I just like it when I'm honest with myself and when I do things that work for me.
*eccentric high five*
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