Introverts
In retrospect, I know this is how I felt when I lived in Halifax.
Instead of feeling awful about how I hated going out to the gay bar and parties I've accepted that I function as extremely introverted, and that's ok.
I don't know why I always felt bad about it and used to turn it negatively on myself. I mean, I didn't like being somewhere unfamiliar with loud sucky music playing, surrounded by my ex's drunken friends that I didn't even know or forsee myself liking but would still honestly think HOW COME I'M NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME?? Is this common? Is it common for introverts to feel inadequate? And if so, it's certaily silly that people force themselves to do things because they want to be like what they see as the majority because it would be easier. But hey, I did it. I think it was also because I didn't want people to think I was too weird or boring and I didn't know how to interact with the friends that I ACTUALLY had that were more extroverted. Truth is, I AM pretty weird, and probably pretty boring to people who'd rather party than hang out in the same room together while silently reading, but somehow I still have friends who like me anyway and that's cool.
It's a lot easier after I started doing things that I used to like doing instead of trying to force myself into things because I thought that's how I should be, and also that I got to experience hanging out with small groups of people who do the things I like to do again (which I seeminly forgot existed for some reason), and that I'm with someone that's kind of crazy compatible with me.