Picking up the pieces
This week went by really quick. Thank God it's all over! I'm sure you're nodding your head while reading this..it must have been a really hectic week for many. Sigh glad it's all over.
Clinic didnt go so well for me this mth, the double Bs werent at their best and Boss didn't look too happy. Work is getting more and more stressful lately, and Dec means we're gonna be short handed in school since Tina is officially gone so it's only gonna be Van and I. I just hope we'll be able to manage school this month with just the 2 of us. Thankfully we wont have to see Boss again end of this month since everyone is away. Ooohoo. I spoke to Boss on fri regarding my concerns about relocation. Unfortunately, I've to rule out Japan for now as there's no expatriate clients there at the moment. It'll take me at least another year to brush up my Japanese, take the exam and then fly over if I want to teach local kids. However, Boss said that Raymond's wife will be flying over mid of next year and hopefully to start expanding the expatraite market, when it's all done I can fly over to join them. That'd take about 2-3 yrs. Sigh..He also offered Australia and HongKong. He said HongKong would be great as it's easy to get a visa and fly me over. All I have to do is to inform our local office about my resignation and then go through some procedures and i'll be able to work there in no time. He also encouraged me to fly over to HK for a weekend to check out the accomodation and all the other things so I'd be prepared.
I've been thinking about it..not sure if I really wanna work in HK. Afterall it's not my 1st choice. I spoke to my cousin and he said Japan is a better place to go and learn, also it'll definitely look good on my CV. I'm the type of person who likes to stick to my 1st preference. And I'd try hard to get it no matter what. But this time I gotta think through..cos I can always try working in HK for awhile 1st to get a gist of working overseas then try ask for a relocation to another place again. This will bound me for a couple of years then. By the time I come home I'd be old. On the other hand, if I am willing to wait for another 2-3 yrs, I can always spend that time to brush up my language, get a cert for teaching and then think about moving. Sigh..sometimes I wonder why we need to grow up? Why do we need to worry about our future? Why do we always ask ourselves what we really want?
A couple of us went to Clara's house last night for a farewell get-together. We had fun and even sat down for a heart to heart talk. We got Clara to tell us about things we could improve on at work, tell us about how she felt about us and also how felt working with us for the past yr. So glad to have known her, she's a great supervisor, supportive mentor and a fun-loving friend. I'm sure we're all gonna miss her. She noticed that for the past 2 yrs I've learnt and improved a lot but there are things I should look into. She thinks I need to be more assertive, show more of my personality at work, and I should really find out what I want in life. I think she's right about me not knowing what I really want in life. Sometimes I do wonder if this is what I want to do. I wonder if my passion for the job really exist..I wonder if I still have the drive..I wonder if I'm still giving my 100 percent for everything I do.
sigh..I do hope I'll be able to find myself one day. I still wonder if there's something out there that's really for me. I do ask people what do they see me as, but I guess no one can really tell me for sure. People have dreams..but mabbe I'm too scared to dream, fearing I might fail again. Where do people find confidence to fulfil their dreams? I used to think that no matter what I do or how hard I try, I will never reach dizzy heights of happiness, success and security like so many people do..But I'm much better now, I try to tell myself that we're all granted with different gifts and success, happiness and security can be measured in a different way. And I am still trying to work towards them. No matter how afraid I am to dream, I will still try..for we all need dreams, we all need hope that something more than what we have is possible to achieve. Maybe one day you and I will soar :)
Clinic didnt go so well for me this mth, the double Bs werent at their best and Boss didn't look too happy. Work is getting more and more stressful lately, and Dec means we're gonna be short handed in school since Tina is officially gone so it's only gonna be Van and I. I just hope we'll be able to manage school this month with just the 2 of us. Thankfully we wont have to see Boss again end of this month since everyone is away. Ooohoo. I spoke to Boss on fri regarding my concerns about relocation. Unfortunately, I've to rule out Japan for now as there's no expatriate clients there at the moment. It'll take me at least another year to brush up my Japanese, take the exam and then fly over if I want to teach local kids. However, Boss said that Raymond's wife will be flying over mid of next year and hopefully to start expanding the expatraite market, when it's all done I can fly over to join them. That'd take about 2-3 yrs. Sigh..He also offered Australia and HongKong. He said HongKong would be great as it's easy to get a visa and fly me over. All I have to do is to inform our local office about my resignation and then go through some procedures and i'll be able to work there in no time. He also encouraged me to fly over to HK for a weekend to check out the accomodation and all the other things so I'd be prepared.
I've been thinking about it..not sure if I really wanna work in HK. Afterall it's not my 1st choice. I spoke to my cousin and he said Japan is a better place to go and learn, also it'll definitely look good on my CV. I'm the type of person who likes to stick to my 1st preference. And I'd try hard to get it no matter what. But this time I gotta think through..cos I can always try working in HK for awhile 1st to get a gist of working overseas then try ask for a relocation to another place again. This will bound me for a couple of years then. By the time I come home I'd be old. On the other hand, if I am willing to wait for another 2-3 yrs, I can always spend that time to brush up my language, get a cert for teaching and then think about moving. Sigh..sometimes I wonder why we need to grow up? Why do we need to worry about our future? Why do we always ask ourselves what we really want?
A couple of us went to Clara's house last night for a farewell get-together. We had fun and even sat down for a heart to heart talk. We got Clara to tell us about things we could improve on at work, tell us about how she felt about us and also how felt working with us for the past yr. So glad to have known her, she's a great supervisor, supportive mentor and a fun-loving friend. I'm sure we're all gonna miss her. She noticed that for the past 2 yrs I've learnt and improved a lot but there are things I should look into. She thinks I need to be more assertive, show more of my personality at work, and I should really find out what I want in life. I think she's right about me not knowing what I really want in life. Sometimes I do wonder if this is what I want to do. I wonder if my passion for the job really exist..I wonder if I still have the drive..I wonder if I'm still giving my 100 percent for everything I do.
sigh..I do hope I'll be able to find myself one day. I still wonder if there's something out there that's really for me. I do ask people what do they see me as, but I guess no one can really tell me for sure. People have dreams..but mabbe I'm too scared to dream, fearing I might fail again. Where do people find confidence to fulfil their dreams? I used to think that no matter what I do or how hard I try, I will never reach dizzy heights of happiness, success and security like so many people do..But I'm much better now, I try to tell myself that we're all granted with different gifts and success, happiness and security can be measured in a different way. And I am still trying to work towards them. No matter how afraid I am to dream, I will still try..for we all need dreams, we all need hope that something more than what we have is possible to achieve. Maybe one day you and I will soar :)