Taskmaster AU, return of Person of Interest, Dragaera links, and "best of" Character Roulette Meme

[hamsterwoman]

Thank you for the good thoughts for my grandfather <33 He made it through surgery OK, but recovery is being tricky, so he's still in hospital and probably will be for a while. So meanwhile I'm focusing on nicely escapist things, like:

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Taskmaster Australia, episode 2 -- I liked the first episode OK, but this one was actually quite good! I laughed out loud several times. I found Taskmaster!Tom funnier this time around, and while I still find Assistant!Tom a little underwhelming in the role, spoilers from here him starting to explain what a prostate is when TM!Tom asked him to bring us up to speed got a chuckle out of me, a first for him.

Prize task: "most satisfying thing to touch", which is a nice category (although a repeat from the original TM, more or less, IIRC). I liked Jimmy's kinetic sand -- I thought it and Nina's hand pinny thiny were on similar levels, though I guess she did also get her butt in there, which deserved the edge, so I gues I agree with the scoring -- Danielle's shrinking weed plant and the story that went along with it did deserve the five points. It seems pretty clear that Luke is just going to suck at prize tasks -- he seems to be unable to even present them.

The cat in the bag task was really nicely done -- having so many different ways to get to the answer. Like, you get to see Jimmy first, figuring out the hot/cold system and getting to the cat in 22 out of 100 bags sounded pretty good -- but then you get Nina getting basically lucky (and cocky) -- and THEN you get Danielle and Luke, who noticed the arrow and got to take the shortcut -- and then, with Danielle on 1 bag, Julia is left for last, and you know it's going to be a shambles, since there's no way to do it in less than 1 bag. And it was a very entertaining shambles.

The phone call task was the standout one for me this episode -- it was the one that made me laugh several times. Jimmy did a very good impression of phone problems (and then the bonus auntie in the studio), and Nina had a similar idea though was less entertaining in implementing it. I was very aww at Danielle choosing to take the DQ so as not to worry her Nana (after inexplicably choosing the most deranged way to call a relative). I'm going to assume that Julia's agent hanging up on her after 17 seconds is a sign that she butt-dials her contacts on the regular, but it being her agent makes it way more hilarious. And of course Luke's rambling 20 minute convo with his mom (covering 34 topics) to cap things off.

Brave thing with paper task -- this is the one where I disagree with TM!Tom's scoring, because I thought Luke's was the least impressive of the things -- but I have a feeling I'm going to keep feeling like Luke is being overscored on the subjective tasks, either because Tom G is more on his wavelength than I am, or because they don't want him to fall too far behind. I thought Jimmy should've gotten the 5 points on that one, because that was insane, and Jimmy lying back on the hood of the car in relief after the close-up of the spoke-next-to-eye looked like the aftermath of torture. Nina is adorable, whether she's being funny, or sincere, or first one and then the other. Danielle is so intriguing to me, because we had strong feelings about feral pigs in episode 1, and when she was listing off her fears, it was jellyfish and centipedes before settling on the idea of fighting geese -- with a sword and shield made out of the paper. It's unfortunate that the geese just flew away, but Danielle's "Honk honk!" battlecry and "Come over here so I can fight you!" were very funny anyway. I would've scored this Jimmy - Danielle - Nina - Julia - Luke, instead of Luke - Jimmy - Nina - Danielle - Julia. Also "A4-ce to be reconded with" is a gloriously bad pun; I'm surprised TM!Tom didn't have a gripe about that.

Studio task -- de-pineapple-ing pizza -- the most hilarious thing, of course, was the requirement to ask for additional pizzas in correct and polite Italian. I mean, they were very liberal with what they accepted as "correct" and also as "Italian" ("por favor" is Spanish; Julia spoke French at one point; and Jimmy did the "It'sa me" thing -- but that was very funny.

First tie-breaker! between my two favorite contestants at this point. I would've been happy with either Nina or Jimmy winning the episode, so that was a good place to be.

Also, not related to Taskmaster Australia but to the original one, I wanted to record her for my reference the revelation from the last podcast episode that the series 8 task where they have to move the watermelon beachball using only water to propel it was something Liza Tarbuck came up with -- she was watering her garden and noticed that could work and called Alex to suggest it as a task. It's one of my favorite tasks in the series (in terms of inception, rather than execution going hilariously wrong because the teams are arranged for maximum carnage), so I'm delighted to know that.

In Taskmaster-adjacent news, I have also watched the Would I Lie to You? episode I've been waiting for (s16e6), which was the one with Munya Chawawa appearing on it. What I did not realize is that it was also going to have Bob Mortimer on it, and the combination was, I think, the best individual episode of WILTY I've seen (which, I've definitely not watched the whole thing, but I've watched a scattering across the seasons). I mean, Bob is always a highlight, but a good part of the fun was spoilers David's PTSD from prior encounters with him, and the way he clearly realized he could not be trusted to lead his team with Bob there on the opposing team psyching him out. Munya confidently taking the reins -- first of all, 100% expected of Munya, but also, it was like something out of a thriller movie, where the grizzled veteran is facing his greatest nemesis and the cocky rookie is like, I will face him for you -- and the predictable "tragic" conclusion, lol, where all of Munya's professed KitKat Chunky expertise were no match for Bob's genius at this game. But Munya was in high form -- the puns were great, the exchange of high weirdness revealed in the most matter-of-fact way with Bob was fantastic, the dynamic with Lee was unexpectedly fun, and of course I've already mentioned the dynamic with David. The only thing I could've wished for is that Munya's truth-or-lie story had been something different than the "nine gardeners" thing he had already shared on Taskmaster -- I know he has a trove of other insane sounding stories! I heard some of them referenced on his Off Menu ep, and I'm sure there's a bunch more -- but hopefully he will be back and we'll get to hear those. The WILTY episodes always feel short, but this one I could've watched for about three more hours XD

Oh, and I keep forgetting to mention it, but I have also watched Greg Davies's comedy special on Netflix, You Magnificent Beast, after it came up in conversation with hoarmurath. Comedy specials are still not really my thing, and it was weird to see Greg in such a different mode, running around the stage dripping sweat rather than sitting imperiously on a throne dispensing judgement, but I do find him funny, and the last bit, the Welsh song in tribute to his father, performed by a very serious-looking men's choir, was fantastic and I'm very glad to have experienced that.

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Via the Snowflake friending meme, I came across rionaleonhart's Person of Interest impressions, which reminded me that I wanted to get back to watching the show -- I had taken a break in the last couple of episodes of season 2, and then when I went back to try and watch more, it had disappeared of whatever streaming service I'd been watching it on, and hadn't reappeared anywhere else useful. I've been periodically checking back for it, and it kept being not there, but when I googled to see if it was streaming anywhere now, it's apparently up on Amazon Prime with ads, which, I'll take that! (and I guess try to watch it fast before it disappears on me again....) So, back to where I left off: SPOILERS!

2x19 ("Trojan Horse") -- OK, this was kind of a weird episode to get back into things on, because it had a relatively low amount of the things I like about the show, and the number of the week case did not work particularly well for me. First, while network security isn't my field, hi tech in general is close enough that the scenes set at Rylatech felt kind of silly; I mean I don't expect verisimilitude, but it's harder to suspend disbelief where everything feels subtly wrong. Also, while this episode of the show is basically 10 years old at this point (exactly 10 years come April), the "Chinese espionage" thing feels ripped from the headlines, of course, but that just underlined for me how weird it was not to have a prominent Asian character in that episode (hopefully on the side of the good guys) -- there was the dead spy, Justin Lee, who is obviously offscreen, and I think maybe one Asian woman in the office who did not say anything? I did like the fact that the actual person who sold out was the guy at the top, the "American success story" CEO who founded the company in his garage, but the rest of it didn't really work for me, in that storyline.

On the other hand, I did like Shaw dropping in for a visit ("You think I should have a hobby. Now what would that be? Hanging around a derelict library with you, your poorly-socialized guard dog... and Bear here?" XD), and her conversation with Reese was pretty nice, too. I also appreciated the conclusion of the Cal storyline, even though it was set up in a very cliche way with Carter learning he was clean, extending an olive branch, and him immediately getting killed in a setup. It's always nice to see Elias, the Mr Quinn scenes were great, and I also appreciated the brief glimpse showing that the patsy who had led him into the ambush and was yelling to let him get clear before the shooting started had also been shot and killed -- not from any kind of karma perspective, but just as an added illustration of how this organization uses people.

2x20 ("In Extremis") -- Reese looks so completely ridiculous in a waiter's outfit, despite the white shirt and general B&W color scheme matching what he usually wears. I like the way it manages to convey the same sort of image as, like, a tiger wearing a collar and leash or something XD I'm not sure it made a ton of sense to tote a dying man around with him, but I'm glad Nelson got to talk to his daughter, even if his revenge on Cochran did not feel particularly satisfying to me. Also, the "I was wrong to say anything about the drug trial" disclaimer felt like something they were forced to put in by the SEC -- it just sounded really incongruously like something from my insider trading training videos XD

I'm generally pretty uninterested in the cop drama side of this -- I mean, the specific lives of Carter and Fusco -- but Fusco has grown on me over the two seasons, and he's very good in his scenes. And I also really liked the IAB investigator actor and the way their interaction played out.

I was thinking, when Reese concluded that they were too late to save the doctor, early on in the episode, that the Machine's warnings didn't seem to be working all that well recently -- this was one of the pretty rare cases where they were late to save the A plot number, and in the previous episode, while Monica was saved, there was still a pretty high body count, including an innocent person connected to the case (the head of R&D), and Cal getting killed. I hadn't connected it to the bluescreens until everything started shutting down, but that makes sense.

2x21-22 ("Zero Day" and "God Mode") -- That was nice and tense and twisty!

I keep being unable to recognize Root when she changes her hair, oops XD but it's always nice to see her, and I particularly appreciated her line about not being a psychopath, like, more's the pity, the things she's had to do would be so much easier if she were. And she's so pleased to be talking to the machine both times! Root asking the machine to switch from "two o'clock" enemy sighting to some kind of video gamey rising/falling tone was also neat. And I liked Larry Szilard, brief as his appearance was.

Scenes of younger Finch with Nathan are always weirdly adorable, from what I recall, but especially the one where he's seeking a second opinion on the engagement ring for Grace (and Finch and Nathan do strike me as having a more-than-friends vibe, which made that particularly interesting). They continue to be adorable shading into tragic as Nathan explains he's been trying to save the irrelevant numbers and invites Finch to join him in that or going to the press (Finch pleading "Tell me what I can do to stop you"), and then full-on tragedy with the ferry explosion. It is really interesting to me that Finch was originally completely against doing anything about the irrelevant numbers, justifying it as being for the greater good to ignore them. It seems like it's the fact that the machine had predicted Nathan's death and Finch had ignored it was the thing that changed his mind. But, hm, Finch doesn't seem to me to be the kind of person for whom it would be an epiphany that as Nathan was not "irrelevant" to him, all the irrelevant numbers are dear to someone -- it strikes me as the kind of thing he would've realized intellectually before anything tragic had happened, and dismissed it as an irrelevant argument because greater good. And if it was seeing what the people he'd handed the Machine to were willing to do -- willingness to kill Nathan would not have been a surprise to Finch, I think, but maybe the scale of collateral damage in how they did it -- did that expose the flaw in the "greater good" arithmetic, because while the Machine may save thousands of lives in preventing terror attacks, blowing up a ferry full of people to preserve that advantage certainly is uncomfortable math to sit with. But I feel like if it was this "the people who control the Northern Lights are evil people who cannot be trusted with it" logic, it would not lead to focus on irrelevant numbers -- I think he did have that realization, or an additional step function, but it's not why he's running the "irrelevant numbers" scheme now. So is it more that he is taking on Nathan's quest to save the irrelevant numbers himself, replacing Nathan, whose death he is presumably blaming himself for (not being able to stop)? The fact that he hides from Grace at the triage place and lets her think he drowned suggests to me that he feels he must atone for what happened.

The revelation that the machine gets wiped at midnight to prevent it from gaining sentience and yet has managed to come up with this kluged together way to preserve its memories was -- OK, it probably did not make much practical sense, but it was quite emotionally affecting, and the sight of people tiping in meaningless strings surrounded by dot matrix printed buzz was weird and creepy, nicely done. Also setting the final scenes in a nuclear facility automatically makes everything way creepier.

On a random and lighter note, John's drive-by taking out of the guy holding a gun on a wedding party, with a very cheerful "Congratulations!" as Shaw zooms them off in the yellow sports car was great.

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Some Dragaera links:

Tsalmoth excerpt. not all that spoilery but marked for your convenience So Tsalmoth is both set early in Vlad's career (seems like just after Tiassa 1) and narrated... is it narrated real-time, actually? Like, Sethra volunteering to stay and, like, pitch in with ideas implies that the problem is still active at whatever point Vlad is narrating this first part? That is an interesting new way of messing with time AND POV, well done, Brust XD But also it's really weird to think of Vlad relaying everything in front of Sethra, and I'm enjoying all his little awkward asides. Moving on from that, this Vlad does sound quite different from the older Vlad we've been spending time with in, like, Vallista and Hawk, and that's going to be an interesting contrast, I think. I enjoyed the banter with Kragar, which is one of the most fun parts of the early Vlad books. And the stuff with Cawti is so bittersweet from this vantage point, but it's genuinely cute that they are planning to have clam pasta cook-offs.

Brust linked to an awesome fan painting of Dzur Mountain with bonus tiny Sethra (heh, sysann, want me to crop some icons? :)) by Santiago Lozano, who also has a Vlad & Loiosh painting, and some very cool art (landscapes and portraits) from other fantasy things I love, like Earthsea, Amberite portraits, The First Law portraits, and other cool things.

And speaking of Dragaera art, I found these stylized portraits on Insta: Vlad and familiars; set of Morrolan, Aliera, Sethra, Kiera, Kragar, and Daymar.

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On one of the Snowflake posts I mentioned the year I went mad and harvested Character Roulette Meme questions from all over LJ/DW, re-randomized them, and turned them into what ended up being basically a 500+ question version of the meme, although I did it as a bunch of different memes with different sets of characters over the course of late 2011-2012-early 2013. thisbluespirit asked me if I had a top 5 answers from that, and I realized that while I can't narrow it down to 5 (I was happy I ended up getting it under 100 XD), it would be fun to go through that massive set and pick out my favorites -- questions that posited unexpected crossover duos/grouping I never would have thought of on my own but ended up loving when the meme handed them to me, or scenarios that fit the characters who ended up with them particularly well or particularly terribly, or just really fun questions that would've been interesting to do with any set of characters and where I enjoyed the resulting thought exercise (you will notice this tended to happen a lot with high school AUs, corporate AUs, and internet AUs.

As always with these kinds of memes, the tricky thing is that it's hard to appreciate the results if one doesn't share at least a significant number of the fandoms represented in the question, and I was shuffling in and out a lot of fandoms (although you will notice a consistent presence from Dragaera and certain characters in particular, because this timeframe coincided with the depth of my Dragaera obsession in the asence of people to talk to about it). Fandoms featured: Vorkosigan Saga, LotR, Dragaera, Harry Potter, ASOIAF, Babylon 5, Discworld, Dresden Files, Temeraire, Firefly, Kushiel's Legacy, AtLA/Korra quite a bit (although you can sort of tell which fandoms I picked up or dropped over time), and occasionally others like Disney movies, The Simpsons, Watchmen, Doctrine of the Labyrinths, Ender's Game, House MD, etc. (and some more fandoms in the second set)



1) If 1 (Ivan Vorpatril) could only save one life, who would they choose between 9 and 14 (Gaston [Beauty and the Beast] and Moist von Lipwig)?
Oh, definitely Moist! I think Moist would remind Ivan of Miles, and so he would feel obscurely and reluctantly responsible for his well-being. Gaston, on the other hand, looks like he can take care of himself and is probably responsible for whatever mess he's in. OK, so is Moist, probably, but the Miles thing would win out.

2) If number 11 (Saruman) were to travel in time, to what era and location would he or she go?
England at the time of the Industrial Revolution. Where his skill with mechanical things would actually be appreciated and he would make lots of money.

Or pretty much any time after that. Like, right now he could probably do pretty well for himself doing genetics research in some place where it's not too tightly regulated.

3) If #3 and #11 (Morrolan e'Drien and Saruman) had to form a hero/sidekick team, who would be the hero and who could be the sidekick?
Haha, I love this combination, because Morrolan and Saruman are actually not that dissimilar -- they are both more interested in the way things work than in people, they both like tinkering with stuff, including (technically) forbidden magic, they are both overly proud. And they are both, let's face it, basically sidekicks in their own stories -- Saruman is the B villain, and while Morrolan may be a good deal more powerful than Vlad (at least at first, I guess we haven't fully seen how Godslayer changes things, assuming Vlad has learned to work with her), he is definitely the sidekick -- just look at who saves whose life and how often :P

Anyway, so I think Morrolan and Saruman would actually get along really well... except if a question of supremacy came up. Saruman would explain how of course he should be the hero -- he was the leader of the White Council. And Morrolan would be like, big deal, the lot of you were chasing after some artefacts none of you actually managed to get your hands on, while I'm the bearer of one of the seventeen Great Weapons. And Saruman would be like, I live in an unassailable black tower! And Morrolan would be like, well, I live in a floating black castle which is actually called Castle Black (the color of sorcery, btw, as any fool should know, none of this rainbow crap, you look like an idiot)! And Saruman would be like, hah, well I have this army of Uruk-Hai that I bred, what are you gonna do? And Morrolan would be like, have you met Blackwand? she's all the army that I need and we once killed a god together.

Basically, I'm sure it would end in a duel, and Morrolan would win, because he can use physical force as well as magic, and Saruman not so much, but he would revivify Saruman afterwards because he is kind of an interesting guy to talk to, on the condition that Saruman agreed Morrolan was the hero. And then he'd invite him to Castle Black so they could sit around with Daymar and the Necromancer, drink Morrolan's wine, smoke pipeweed whoever so desired, and try to figure out what palantiri were made of and whether it's related to phoenix stone. The end!

4) Today is dissection day in science class. 8 (Hermione Granger), 10 (Morrolan e'Drien) and 11 (Margaery Tyrell) are placed in a group for the dissection. What happens?
Margaery explains sweetly that she'll let someone else do the dissection -- it will be better that way, and she can take notes/draw the pictures -- by copying them from the textbook, of course. First of all, she isn't going to look at a cut-open dead thing, and second, you never get to see anything in a dissection anyway, so the picture from the textbook will be better.

Hermione frets that this is a form of cheating and says she will draw the pictures herself, which is just fine with Margaery too.

Morrolan opines that there are much more interesting things they could be cutting open, in much more interesting circumstances, rather horrifying Hermione.

In the end, Hermione does all the work, dissection and notes and pictures. Margaery sits far away but manages to look helpful and involved. And Morrolan is probably surreptitiously reading an unrelated textbook under his desk.

5) Would 5 (Feanor) be a good peacemaker? If so, what are his/her methods?
LOL, no. The only person on [that] list who would possibly be a worse peace-maker than Feanor would be Jayne. OK, and Tazendra probably. [Upon reflection, I actually think Feanor is worse than either of those.]

6) Would 5 (Feanor) and 10 (Morrolan e'Drien) go out?
Heh, so. I think that Feanor would remind Morrolan very strongly of (his image of) Adron (or, at least, he does me). Which, of course, would mean Morrolan would be totally smitten, possibly without even realizing it. And I could see Feanor liking him, too.

7) Four (Miles Vorkosigan) sketches what One (Esme Weatherwax)'s perfect partner should look like; will One (Esme) be happy?
Ahaha. OK, so, a while back I stumbled on the lovely crossover crack pairing of General Piotr Vorkosigan/Olenna Tyrell. It occurs to me that General Piotr/Esmeralda Weatherwax would also be pretty spiffy. So, Miles totally sketches a portrait of his Grandda, and Esme may sniff disdainfully, but actually it could be awesome.

8) Ten (Havelock Vetinari) tries to take over the world. What happens?
What do you mean, "tries"? :P

9) What would 2 and 6 be like in a relationship? (Duv Galeni/Wiliam Laurence)
Oh my god, it would have to be the stoicest relationship ever. And it would never actually come to pass, because neither one of them would open up about their feelings to the other. But, I suppose, if Miles and Temeraire masterminded it somehow (Miles and Temeraire... now that's a terrifying combination) and forced them to get together -- possibly this would have to entail fast-pentaing Laurence in order to get him to admit his feelings -- hmm. They would actually understand each other pretty well, I think, as men of duty, but Galeni would also be able to play Tharkay's role a bit, since he has the ability to see the flaws in the system with an outsider's perspective.

10) Would 10 make a good couple with 11? Or a better couple with 13? (Esme Weatherwax/Tywin Lannister or Esme Weatherwax/Vlad Taltos)
Definitely Esme and Tywin! He seems to have a thing for strong women (and older women, potentially, though probably not that much older). I'm not sure how she would feel about him... but she could definitely handle him just fine.

As for Esme/Vlad, no, I don't think that would be better. The only thing I could see the two of them doing is confusing each other with the very different definitions of "witch" in their respective worlds.

11) You spot Five (Harry Dresden) kissing Eight (Iskierka). How do you react?
LOL. Well, I guess they might have bonded over a mutual tendency to use fire to resolve all issues.

12) 11, 14, and 12 (Londo Mollari, Genna Lannister, Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias) form a study group. How does it go, who (if anyone) does most of the work, and who is most prone to getting distracted and throwing spitwads around or juggling crumpled balls of paper etc?

At the first meeting of the study group Adrian explains how he, of course, is the smartest person there and therefore should be in charge. Londo and Genna exchange a look. Pretty soon they have Adrian convinced that if he wants anything done right, he's going to have to do it himself. So Adrian does all of the work, and Londo and Genna chat amicably in the corner and chuckle about the way things turned out. (Londo/Genna, btw? Can totally see it.)

13) 3, 7, and 5 (Perscitia, Hoban Washburne, Miles Vorkosigan) get lost in the jungle. Who faints, who takes charge, and who defends them from the evil version of 8 (Molly Carpenter)?

Miles takes charge, because, Miles. I guess it would be up to Wash to faint, by default, because I don't see a little jungle bothering Perscitia, and Miles would be too busy to faint. As for evil!Molly (which, this is the second time she's coming up), Perscitia sits on her while Miles tries to rescue her by luring her over to the side of the light. Ultimately, though, it's Wash cracking jokes that reminds her of banter with Harry and how good things could be, and she repents and decides to stop being evil.

14) 4, 8, 13, and 9 (Albus Dumbledore, Molly Carpenter, Alan Ryves [Demon's Lexicon], and Morrolan e'Drien) are classmates in a Wacky High School AU and have to work together to create a group presentation on the marine biology of the Caribbean for science class. Who's the presenter? Who does the majority of the research? Who puts together the powerpoint presentation? Who took charge and coordinated everything? And most important, what Wacky Hijinks took place when they were working on the project?

Oh my goodness, Molly really lucked out with her group partners! These three are not only huge nerds, they are also huge nerds who can actually work together without their egos getting in the way. (And I'm suddenly struck by the thought of how alike young!Albus and Alan would be, though Alan is definitely a nicer person.)

Alan would volunteer to take the lead on presenting, though each of them would have a piece to say, and I think he would be the one to mostly coordinate things as well. Albus would do the most research, because I think he would be the one most interested in life sciences, but Alan and Morrolan would do a fair bit as well, because I do think they enjoy research in general, not just when it comes to their favorite topics. Molly, who does feel a bit guilty over the boys doing all the heavy lifting, says she'll take first crack at the powerpoint, and I think her presentation would be colorful but minimalist, while the other three would keep trying to get additional facts in.

As for wacky hijinks: I'm pretty sure Alan would fall for Molly, seeing as how he canonically has a think for smart, confident girls with hair dyed unnatural colors, and she would sense in him someone
who needed help, and thus eventually fall for him too. Meanwhile, one of the group meetings is interrupted by Nick getting into trouble and Alan having to take off to sort things out, but Molly and Albus insist that the rest of them should come along and help. Alan doesn't need any help with this, but as a result Nick meets the gang and, in particular, Morrolan. Morrolan sees absolutely nothing wrong in somebody being a demon (which I think he would be able to sense), but in any case, I think he and Nick would get along pretty well, because they could pass the time swordfighting. And I already mentioned up above that Albus and Alan would find each other quite alike and become slightly wary friends.

15) 5 and 12 (Miles Vorkosigan and Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias) are playing a prank on 14 (Genna Lannister). What is it and what are the potential ways it could go very, very wrong?

Miles and Adrian together are actually a terrifying combination, because they both think they are smarter than everyone else and are also quite eager to prove it. Any prank they would pull on Genna would be elaborate and involving lots and lots of unsuspecting people, and it would go very wrong in a truly spectacular way -- and then Miles would feel horribly guilty and try to put things right, with some unexpected but probably world-changing results. And Genna would have been aware of the prank the whole time and mildly amused by all the commotion.

16) 13 (Lisa Simpson) did something that surprises 11 (Mustrum Ridcully). What is it?

Had a conversation with Ponder Stibbons where she appeared to understand exactly what he was saying -- something nobody else at the Unseen University has ever done.

17) 14 and 7 (Shepherd Book and Thomas Raith) are arguing about something - what is it?

Whether it's possible for a White Court vampire to be saved, in the Christian sense. Book thinks it is, and Thomas doesn't believe so.

18) Who would 8 (Barristan Selmy) choose for an one-night-stand -- 2 or 9 (Narcissa Malfoy or Robert Chase [House MD]), and why?

And by "one-night stand" in this context we clearly mean standing faithfully outside their bedroom door and guarding their sleep, because Ser Barristan the Bold respects his vows (and even if he weren't in the Kingsguard, he is not a one-night-stand kind of guy). That said, I could see him sort of being smitten by Narcissa (because also, whatever GRRM may have implied in Dance, Ashara totes had fair hair, OK?)

19) If 4 (Morrolan e'Drien) had to persuade 13 (Lisa Simpson) to adopt a child together, how would s/he do it?

The nice thing about Morrolan is, whenever he ends up in situations in these memes that I could not see him voluntarily undertaking, I just tell myself Sethra asked him to do this thing for some important, Empire-preserving reason. Sethra's very handy like that, and I'm sure she's asked him to do a lot of weird stuff over the years. Like not killing really annoying Easterners who insult his honor, for instance.

So I can see this sort of going like this (envisioning a fresh-from-college Lisa or thereabouts):

Morrolan: Easterner. We should adopt a child.
Lisa: ...
M: That is the word, isn't it?
L: Well, yes. But... I mean, there's the problem with overpopulation, and I always thought it would be better to adopt--
M: Good. It's settled then.
L: No! You can't just make a decision like that. There are the emotional implications for the child, and--
M: Are there? I can't say that I felt any.
L: Well, and it certainly can't happen now -- maybe in a few years, but I can't put my career on hold--
M: Why would you need to? I'm sure Lady Teldra will find an impeccable nurse, and tutors.
L: But--
M: And I would arrange for teleportation for you to and from Castle Black and your place of employment. There is an amulet I can fashion that suppresses the side effects of teleportation that I'm given to understand Easterners suffer from.
L: ...Castle?
M: Naturally. And you may have the use of my library if you wish to, so long as you are careful with the books.
L: ...Castle?
M: Yes.
L: Could I also have a pony?

20) 7, 10, and 5 (Thomas Raith, Maslin de Lombelon [Kushiel's Legacy], and Felix Harrowgate [Doctrine of the Labyrinths]) are thrown together in a zombie apocalypse. How do they react/ what do they do to survive?

That's actually not a bad team, as these things go! Maslin has mundane weapons training, Thomas has supernatural powers, and Felix has magic (though I'm not sure what seeing zombies would do to him, giving his sensitivity to ghosts). Maslin and Thomas would waste no time in mobilizing against the zombies, at least. But I'm not convinced that, once they have dealt with the zombie problem in their immediate vicinity the wouldn't sneak off for the world's hottest threesome... >.>

21) 3 and 13 (Peter Wiggin and Lisa Simpson) are set up on a blind date. How does that go?

Ooh, this is interesting! I think Peter is the sort who can put on a veneer of charm and come across as a brilliant and impassined idealist with big ideas on a first date -- the sort of thing Lisa would go for -- without the sociopath bit coming through. And I think he would be impressed with Lisa but also see her vulnerabilities and how to manipulate her. So the first date goes well, and they continue dating for a while, until Lisa has some kind of eye-opening experience, probably as a result of a conversation with Marge, after which she realizes Peter is actually kind of crazy and toxic and dumps him.

22) A dinner party with 3, 11, 13 and 10 (Peter Wiggin, Mustrum Ridcully, Lisa Simpson, Maslin de Lombelon). Who cooks the dinner? What is on the menu? Who takes the last serve of dessert? What is the main topic of dinner conversation?

Lisa cooks dinner, because nobody else would, but she resents being forced into a rigid gender role like that. She makes one of Marge's special day dinners, porkchops or whatever. Ridcully absolutely takes the last serving of dessert, as well as everything else, and asks when the next course is coming. Maslin and Ridcully manage to find common ground in talking about hunting, but Lisa is horrified when she hears them discussing killing animals, so that topic dries up pretty soon, even though Ridcully keeps trying to revive it. Peter starts talking about politics, which Lisa is all excited about at first, because that's what important people talk about at dinner, but then it turns out their views on politics are quite different, so they stop just short of a fight. By this point, Ridcully is snoring in an armchair and Maslin has gotten bored and slipped away unnoticed. The end.

23) Who helps 15 (River Tam) get out of a murder investigation?

In general? Simon and the entire crew of Serenity. On this list? Karrin Murphy [Dresden Files] could probably pull some strings (at least in the past), but I'm not sure she would get involved unless she knew River really well and trusted her -- and River is... not particularly trustworthy, through no fault of her own. Marcone could, I'm sure, but I'm not sure River would willingly accept his help. Not that Mal and crew are exactly pillars of the community when it comes to doing legal things, but Marcone is rather cold about his dealings, not counting his thing about kids.

I think Mark Vorkosigan may be the likeliest to want to help River and to have her accept his help. I've been blathering about the perfection that is Miles/River for ages now, but I'd never thought about how River and Mark have a fair bit in common, having had their brains thoroughly hacked up by people who didn't care about the impact on them one bit. So, even though River's not a clone, I totally do think she would push Mark's buttons and he would want to rescue her, and have the pull/cash to do so. And then he'd figure out a way to use her precognition skills to make millions on speculating Komarran shares or something, only River would get bored with it after a couple of days and run off.

24) What would happen is 2 and 3 (Ponder Stibbons and Mark Vorkosigan) were to get drunk together?

Ponder would start trying to explain High Energy Magic and Mark would start trying to explain his economic schemes, and I doubt either would be interested in the other's monologue, but they also wouldn't care, because they'd each be drunk and having fun monologuing.

25) 6 and 3 (Temeraire and Mark Vorkosigan) are competitors in a cooking competition. What do they cook, and who wins?

Hee! OK, so both of them are gourmands, albeit in different ways. Temeraire's size is really going to make working in a kitchen difficult, though, and I doubt Mark has had to cook much for himself, although I do think he would enjoy it if he gave it a shot. Anyway, Temeraire attempts to prepare a traditional Chinese dish, and Mark attempts to reproduce one of Ma Kosti's bug butter delicacies. I think Mark would win pretty much be default if Temeraire can't use humans to help him, but whoever wins, they both decide that they would rather eat than cook, have Temeraire's cook prepare something for both of them, and sit around talking about various meals they've enjoyed.

26) 1 and 8 (Mavros Shahrizai [Kushiel's Legacy] and Gytha Ogg) are having a tickle fight, who wins?

OMG LOL! I could totally, totally see the two of them in a tickle fight -- even with each other. Nanny wins, because she'd be totally into it and absolutely shameless in pursuit of a tickle victory, while her age and general behaviour might give even Mavros pause.

27) Out of the others on the list, who does 3 (Mark Vorkosigan) have a crush on?

Hermione Grnager, a bit. She is smart and competent and would, I think, readily take up and champion his fight against the treatment of clones on Jackson's Whole, if maybe not approve of his methods.

28) 14, 13, and 15 (Morrolan e'Drien, Gentleman Johnny Marcone, and River Tam) went on a cross-country road trip together. Where did they go? What did they see? What was the high (or low) point of trip?

I think Marcone is, possibly, ferrying River some place safe -- I'm pretty sure I even know where: to wherever the Archive's home base is, because he thinks (and rightly so, I think) that Ivy and River would understand each other better than most other people can understand either of them. (Plus Kincaid can keep an eye on her and protect her from the Hands of Blue guys or whatever.) Although River is not a little girl, I do think she would push Marcone's "hurt child" buttons and he would want to protect her.

I'm not rightly sure how Morrolan is involved in this. Maybe his Window glitched and delivered him to the Dresden-verse in the middle of a highway, and River insisted on stopping to pick him up (she senses something very strange from him, which is probably the psychic signature of Blackwand), and it was go along with her or tie her up, and Marcone wouldn't want to do that to her if he could help it. Morrolan is really just looking to explore the place, so he agrees to come along.

River also insists on stopping at random "attractions" -- empty fields, giant balls of twine, legitimate science installations. The lowlight of the trip when something triggers River to freak out in a roadside restaurant (Marcone has to threaten and/or bribe everyone to keep quiet about it at least long enough for them to get away). The highlight is what happens when a couple of punks attempt to hijack Marcone's expensive car and discover just who they're messing with.

29) 8 and 11 (Gytha Ogg and Pippin Took) are sitting together in business class on a transatlantic flight for 9 hours... they can't sleep, what do they talk about (or do)?

As with the freight elevator, I'm sure they quickly bond over a love of food, drink, and singing, and proceed to entertain their business class seatmates with hearty renditions of the Hedgehog Song.

30) 12 and 3 (Hermione Grnager and Mark Vorkosigan) wake up in Vegas. What happened last night?

Mark won a LOT of money gambling and got himself politely kicked out of several casinos for this. Hermione was in Vegas for a wizarding conference and, while heading out for a look at the Strip, noticed the little man being escorted out of the hotel by goons and decided to stick up for him. They ended up having a couple of drinks together (paid for out of Mark's pile of winnings). Impressed with Hermione's intelligence, Mark offers to bring her into one of his businesses, but Hermione explains that she is happy with her current job at the Ministry of Magic. It's pretty late by the time Mark walks Hermione back to her hotel, at which point it turns out that he doesn't have a place to stay -- he'd been planning on gambling all night so had not booked a hotel room. Hermione offers to let him sleep on her couch (he seems harmelss, and she can lock the bedroom door by magic anyway), and Mark agrees. They have breakfast in the morning, exchange business cards just in case, and go their separate ways. All very respectable.

31) 13, 11, 1, and 8 (Morrolan e'Drien, Pippin Took, Mavros Shahrizai, and Gytha Ogg) are at Hogwarts! What house do each of them go to? Why does 13 (Morrolan) keep hooking up with 4 (Alys Vorpatril) and why is 1 (Mavros) so MAD. 11 (Pippin) holds the record for what? Also, why does 8 (Gytha) keep getting lost?

I already covered Morrolan's Hogwarts house in the previous meme -- he'd be a Ravenclaw (but with a lot of Gryffindor traits). Pippin would be in Gryffindor, easily, and Mavros in Slytherin (but not the sort to get involved in the Dark Arts). Nanny would qualify perfectly well for Slytherin, but would ask the Sorting Hat to put her in Hufflepuff, because they have more fun.

Morrolan keeps hooking up with Alys (who is in Slytherin, btw) because Alys keeps suggesting it, demurely but firmly, and who is he to say no to a girl like that? Mavros is mad because he thinks Alys should be using her powers of persuasion for the good of Slytherin and not wasting her time on Ravenclaws... but, being Mavros, I don't think he stays mad for long over something like that.

Pippin holds the record for the most points lost his house, because he keeps getting in trouble with Headmaster Gandalf without meaning to do anything bad. And Nanny keeps getting "lost" because she keeps sneaking off to Hogsmeade to party.

32) 14, 5, and 3 (Kaylee Frye, Lisa Cuddy [House MD], and Margaery Tyrell) go on holiday. Who loses their luggage, who loses themselves, and who has unfinished business that shows up to interrupt their relaxation?

Girls' weekend out! The unifnished business bit is easy -- House is trying something crazy at the hospital again, so after a bunch of times getting paged, Cuddy has to cut her vacation short and come back to deal with him. I guess Kaylee would be more likely to lose herself -- not in the sense of wandering off and getting lost, but she sees a really interesting junkyard, and look, there's a bunch of parts she was looking for for months, and it takes a while for the others to figure out where she's disappeared to. Which I guess leaves Margaery to lose her luggage, which isn't really likely, but maybe it's stolen because it's a lovely matched set stamped with golden roses.

33) 10, 6, and 7 (William Laurence, Cristobal Junta [Monday Begins on Saturday], Sybil Ramkin) are watching TV. Who has control of the remote, what are their favourite shows, and who never shuts up criticising?

Junta both demands control of the remote and never shuts up criticising. Laurence suffers this in silence. Sybil is polite for a long time, but eventually she has enough and buys a second TV so that Junta can watch whatever he wants on his own and she and Laurence can watch the second one. Of course, watching TV on his own is not at all the point for Junta -- making other people watch what he wants is -- but I don't think he'd be able to find a way to do so without seeming completely petty, and I think he'd hesitate to appear so in front of Sybil, so he might just have to suck it up.

As for favorite shows, Sybil would enjoy nature shows, I think, and Laurence, period dramas, especially those with military/naval components. Junta would criticise absolutely everything he watched, but the shows he would enjoy most despite complaining about them would be documentaries about history, the more morbid the better.

34) What/who does 9 (Julian of Amber) write fanfic about?

He'd write about total Gary Stus (though, to be fair, everyone he knows, pretty much, is a Gary Stu), with loving descriptions of their armour, weapons, and martial prowess, and an assortment of beautiful red-haired women swooning helplessly over them.

35) What/who does 2 (Gregor Vorbarra) read fanfic about?

Heh, Gregor would go to his comconsole after a hard day of Emperoring and keeping an impassive and stern face in front of the Council of Counts, and then read utter fluff and curtainfic. (Cordelia keeps sending him recs to NC-17 fics she says are really good, but he just deletes those without ever opening the links.)

36) 1 and 9 (Jared Kincaid and Julian of Amber) go on a picnic - how much of a disaster is it?

And by picnic, we clearly mean hunt, followed by preparing and consuming the stuff they shot. Kincaid thinks it's not much of a challenge shooting things that aren't wearing body armour and can't shoot back, but he does still have fun, and Julian really enjoys showing off Arden to him.

37) 2, 7, and 4 (Miles Vorkosigan, Vir Cotto, and Petyr Baelish) find themselves in a bar - how'd they get there, what are they drinking and where are they going next?

Miles is drinking off some sort of minor personal or professional disaster -- minor, because he didn't shut himself up in his rooms to get drunk, as he would for a major one. He is drinking maple mead, if the bar serves it, or whatever wine they have that's not too awful. Afterwards, he is going home, although "going" is probably not the right word -- he is being dragged home by Ivan or Elli or somebody else responsible for him.

Vir had a rough day, fielding off a hundred people who were all justifiably pissed at Londo and getting threatened and insulted by them, and then snapped at by Londo himself. He is drinking Shirley Temples (which the Babylon 5 wiki reminded me he canonically likes), but if it's been a particularly rough day, then he might be drinking jala. Afterwards, he is going back to his quarters, and not too late, because Londo is going to need him to prepare for his morning meetings.

Petyr is at the bar to spy and scheme, and he is drinking wine, but not as much as he is pretending to. He pumps Vir for information, semi-successfully, and tries to recruit Miles for one of his dirty plots, unsuccessfully, but hey, you win some, you lose some. Afterwards, he is going to a brothel (BROTHELS BROTHELS BROTHELS BROTHELS), or possibly to have a cryptic verbal slapfight with Varys.

[You can tell this was during the brief period when I was watching Game of Thrones, season 1.]

38) 5 and 8 (Sansa Stark and Barquiel L'Envers [Kushiel's Legacy]) adopt 9 (Morrolan e'Drien) (as a child). What is their living arrangement, and how does this change 9's life?

Sansa goes to live with Barquiel in Namarre and wee!Morrolan naturally does too. Sansa is a bit too dainty in her demeanor to be Barquiel's perfect match, but there is strength in her that's not immediately obvious, and I think she would come more into her own among the D'Angelines, who are all shiny and sparkly and much more like something in a song than people in ASOIAF are.

Morrolan raised in Terre D'Ange would be interesting, because he doesn't seem to be naturally inclined towards almost any of the things D'Angelines care about, although I'm sure such an upbringing would feed his flare for the dramatic. He would, of course, learn to wield a blade from Barquiel, and so still be able to excell in that area. Sansa would ensure that he learned more manners than he did in his real life. And I'm sure someone in his position would get a tutor for all the book-learning, and since he would show a clear aptitude for it, he'd be allowed to continue his studies. Neither D'Angelines nor Westerosi are big on magic, so I don't think he'd be able to learn sorcery or witchcraft and would have to do something else with his time -- natural science, maybe, as the closest available equivalent?

Religion is a big deal for Sansa and in Terre D'Ange in general, and Morrolan seems naturally inclined that way. The two traditions might be somewhat confusing, although they map on to each other to fairly decent degrees. Like, the Warrior of the Seven could clearly be Camael, and the Smith be Shemhazai, and the Mother be Eisheth, and the Father can probably be mapped to Azza; the others are a bit harder, but I could make a case for Maiden ~ Anael maybe, Stranger ~ probably Kushiel. Anyway, Morrolan would gravitate towards Warrior/Camael and Smith/Shemhazai, which I guess would be OK with Barquiel, even though "his" Companions are Kushiel and Naamah.

I have a hard time figuring out how Morrolan would deal with the whole "love who thou wilt" and emphasis on sexuality in D'Angeline culture, because in canon he seems to be a bit of a prude about these things when young, and it's not clear he cares much one way or another by the time we see him in the Vlad books timeline. (Like, Vlad thinks Morrolan and Sethra may have been lovers, but this is a rather ridiculous hypothesis given the way Sethra actually treats Morrolan, even now that he's ostensibly grown up, let alone back when he was younger.) But TDA is a very different environment, and I'm sure he'd be exposed to the Night Court regardless of his degree of interest in same. I could see him patronizing Dahlia, which would appeal to his Dragonlord side, and/or Gentian, which seems the closest D'Angelines come to witchcraft.

Since he was clueless about his true background in canon, I guess he'd just assume he was D'Angeline in this scenario, too, just really tall. It wouldn't surprise me if he ended up as a priest of Shemhazai or something like that, after a stint in the D'Angeline army. If Sethra or someone else from Dragaera managed to find him at a later date, I do think he would be equally game to go back and reclaim his ancestral lands, but would keep in touch with his adopted parents via Verra's Window, and happily lend a hand (wielding a Great Weapon, of course) any time Terre D'Ange or Barquiel's own interests were threatened.

39) 3 (Greg House) [House MD] is off by themselves, eating cake. Why?

Clearly, this is cake that the Ducklings and/or Cuddy have bought for Wilson's surprise birthday party, and House would never forgive himself for not ruining his best friend's birthday in this manner.

40) 1, 10, 8, and 14 (Jayne Cobb, Ivan Vorpatril, Barquiel L'Envers [Kushiel's Legacy], Esme Weatherwax) are trapped on a remote island. Who declares themself leader and who gets eaten by the angry mob?

Jayne proclaims himself leader and promptly gets eaten by the angry mob to whom he announces this fact. Ivan keeps a low profile and eventually starts discreetly flirting with the island girls, who are attracted by his unusual looks and remnants of shiny uniform. After Jayne's demise, Barquiel proves his worthiness by a trial of arms against the local champions and then manages to establish diplomatic relations with the leader of the local tribe, since he is good at that sort of thing. Granny sits there, looking too formidable to eat, until the local wisemen/women approach her, and they reach some kind of witchy accord, by which Granny does not meddle in local matters but Ivan and Barquiel are acknowledged to be under her protection and left unmolested.

41) If 8 (Joscelin Verreuil) started a LiveJournal, what would his/her username be and why?

Probably something obvious and relatively self-effacing, like cassiline. (His icons are all artful macro shots of his daggers and sword, a couple of Siovale landscapes, and one or two tasteful sketches of Phedre and Imri.)

I love this question, though, so I'm going to do it for everyone:

Mustrum Ridcully's LJ is simply archchancellor because he doesn't want you to forget it. His icons are all iconographs of his hunting trophies.

Vlad Taltos's is shutuploiosh, because of course Loiosh always reads it over his shoulder and offers snarky telepathic commentary.

Oberyn Martell's is, quite oviously, red_viper, with an overall red and orange theme.

Morrolan e'Drien's is castle_black, with a layout to match. (I had to check, and, as I expected, [livejournal.com profile] castle_black exists as an ASOIAF community, a long-unused one. But Morollan, of course, would just challenge the owner to a duel until he could get control of the username.)

Thomas Raith's would be something flirty and anonymous, like your_valentine (referencing his 2/14 birthday)

Jane Roland's is admiral_roland, because it avoids needless awkwardness and confusion that way.

Susan Ivanova's is noboomtoday (because isgod was taken). The text "Ivanova is god" *is* her default icon though.

Faramir's would be something semi-obscure, like dream_wave, because his LJ would be primarily for introspection, stashing his thoughts, including dreams, and so on.

Sirius Black's is, of course, snuffles, and his icons are all close-ups of various parts (eyes, ears, paws, etc.) of a big black dog.

Cersei Lannister's is lionessftherock, and her layout is all red and gold.

Zoe Washburne's is wifesoup, because Wash made her account originally. She did change all the icons out, though. The ones he preloaded were not exactly decent.

Jayne Cobb's is notagirlsname, because he got tired of clarifying it all the time. His default icon is Vera, but he's got loving shots of the rest of his favorite gear in his other icons.

Tazendra -- I've been wracking my brains on this one for like a week, and I give up. I'm convinced this is an impossible question to answer because Tazendra would not, in fact, ever have an LJ she would need to name. She is like the least introspective person ever, and while Dzurlords do tend to be "look at meeee!", that's exclusively for deeds, not words. So, no LJ for Taz, and consequently no name.

Cordelia Vorkosigan's is captaincordelia, because Aral always gets a twinkle in his eye when he sees that on his flist.

42) Divide the list up by even and odd. Which group of five would make a better Five Man Band (like a Power Rangers team)? Who would you slot in each position: Leader, Lancer (second-in-command), Big Guy, Smart Guy, The Chick? If you think the team would be improved by swapping one character between the even and odd groups, which ones would you switch?

Odds -- Luna Lovegood, Morrolan e'Drien, Samwell Tarly, Vlad Taltos, Miles Vorkosigan
Evens -- Lara Raith, Sidonie de la Courcel, Perscitia, Simon Tam, Gytha Ogg

OK. The Odds are easy enough -- Miles and Vlad, as the only ambitious ones in that lot, have a bit of a metaphorical tussle over who gets to be Leader and who gets to be Lancer. Ultimately I do think Miles ends up as Leader because while Vlad is quite good at inspiring loyalty and getting people to follow him, Miles is genius at it, and everyone would sense it. Morrolan would end up as the Big Guy sort of by default, because not only is he physically much bigger than everyone else, Blackwand and sorcery and his skill with a blade make him the most personally deadly at close quarters. Either Luna or Sam could work as the Smart Guy or the Chick. I think because of Luna's spaciness she is probably the Smart Guy (Gal) and Sam is the Chick, but, really, they would co-own those two roles. And, really, in a group of three dedicated Ravenclaws, a military genius, and someone as clever as Vlad, Smart Guy duties are pretty much taken care of regardless.

Evens are harder because I don't see either Lara or Sidonie relinquishing control to the other. I think Lara, with her White Court powers, is more in the position to seize it, and then Perscitia can be Big Guy, I guess (she's certainly big), and Simon can be Smart Guy, and Nanny can be the Lancer, probably, but I don't see Sidonie sticking around to be the Chick.

The thing is, I'm not even sure how to fix it by swapping. Taking Sidonie off the Evens team is definitely required, but who could she replace among the Odds? She might be a good Lancer for Miles -- I've noted else-meme that he always seems to have a female Lancer, and a no-nonsense one. Then Vlad and Morrolan can sort themselves out between Big Guy and Smart Guy, and either Luna or Sam can stay on as the Chick while the other one goes to the Evens. Let's say Sam goes, 'cos that way he gets to be with Perscitia, and he occupies the Chick position there, with the rsulting teams being:

Miles (Leader), Sidonie (Lancer), Morrolan and Vlad (Big and Smart Gusy), Luna (Chick)
Lara (Leader), Nanny (Lancer), Simon (Smart Guy), Perscitia (Big Guy), Sam (Chick)