itp: why i hate narnia
hamdrax: well, narnia is... basically yeah a fucking incredibly eurocentric biased STUPID OFFENSIVE white englishman's version of LION CHRISTIANITY I am sure you know this much
sexybiopsy: yes
hamdrax: but well it also has the most fucking ladyfail in the history of ever?
sexybiopsy: i have heard a bit of that
hamdrax: women are either good because they are subservient in a way cs lewis thinks is proper
hamdrax: or they are evil because they have power
hamdrax: and this is stated in PERFECT CLARITY SEVERAL TIMES
hamdrax: literally he talks about this EVIL SCHOOL which like, ISNT RELIGIOUS!! AND THE HEADMASTER!!!! IS A WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!
hamdrax: AND IT'S PRESENTED AND ACCEPTED BY THE NARRATOR IN THE SAME *BREATH* AS THE WORST THING!!! EVER!!!!!
hamdrax: and at the same time it's very
hamdrax: LADIES SHOULD BE LESS RECOGNIZABLY FEMININE BECAUSE CS LEWIS THINKS THAT'S NOT VERY HOT
hamdrax: so susan gets punished (basically sent sent to lion hell!!!!!!) for wearing makeup, and dancing w/ boys.
hamdrax: all the "good" women are sort of spunky in a generic way and "challenge" the mens but ONLY TO A CERTAIN POINT!!!
hamdrax: so it's just the epitome of "you behave this way, or you are TOO WOMANLY and womanliness is BAD"
hamdrax: but you know you're not allowed to reject your PLACE as a woman or you're also bad.
hamdrax: and the line which is drawn is just a totally arbitrary one because cs lewis KNOWSSSSS EVERYTHINNNGG about how a lady SHOULD BEEEeee
hamdrax: so that is the misogyny
hamdrax: now, the racism!
sexybiopsy: OH BOY
hamdrax: some of the bad guys in the last battle are fantasy!muslims
hamdrax: they are the only brown people in the book.
sexybiopsy: awesome
hamdrax: their "god" ends up being an evil demon who has been deceiving them into worshipping it!
hamdrax: and at the end they are basically revealed as being LITERALLY BLIND to its.. evilitude
hamdrax: except for a few Good Brown People who accept the truth that is white european lion jesus.
hamdrax: and become sidekicks in assisting the white children!
hamdrax: :D!!!!!
sexybiopsy: oh lovely.
hamdrax: OH YES.
sexybiopsy: ohhhh c s lewis i will chucketh you out a window
hamdrax: I HATE HIM SO MUCH HOLY FUCKING FUCK!
sexybiopsy: what a bucket of wangs
hamdrax: and I especially extra hate him when people go on about how he was such a great example of benevolent christiandom!!!!
hamdrax: NO, DIAF
sexybiopsy: hahaha oh wow
hamdrax: I mean as far as I hear TELL the films have TRIED to tone down the racism and sexism which is RAMPANT??
hamdrax: but um
hamdrax: the premise is still "hooray eurocentric christian bullshit cs lewis made up" ?
hamdrax: which.... wow I cannot imagine why I would find that uninteresting!
hamdrax: but I sure as fuck do!
hamdrax: I mean when you look at it and think about it aslan/narnia
hamdrax: are basically christianity with all of the middle east removed with tweezers and injected with as much WESTERN EUROPE!!!! into them as humanly possible
hamdrax: except for a couple ~exotic~ elements
hamdrax: and it's like, holy fuck you guys narnia isn't just an interesting premise with problematic aspects!!
hamdrax: NARNIA IS A BIG PROBLEM
sexybiopsy: lsdkjhgdfkljgh
hamdrax: A BIG PROBLEM IN A WARDROBE.
hamdrax: THAT IS WHAT IT FUCKING IS.
sexybiopsy: Yeah I ... have never heard anything that begins to persuade me otherw- LMAO
hamdrax: /gives cs lewis the finger, emphatically
sexybiopsy: /ALSO
hamdrax: I mean it even BEGINS like, hello charming little well behaved white children, come be the tyrannic rulers of our silly somewhat exotic animal/half-animal filled society !
hamdrax: c:
sexybiopsy: ugh yeah
sexybiopsy: FUCK THAT
hamdrax: MMMMMM
hamdrax: fuck it
hamdrax: narnia is an amazing place of OH MY GOD CS LEWIS WHO GAVE YOU A PEN
sexybiopsy: LMFAO
sexybiopsy: SFHglfkdjh
hamdrax: WHO????
sexybiopsy: the correct way to give cs lewis a pen:
sexybiopsy: take pen
sexybiopsy: take cs lewis
sexybiopsy: ram pen in cs lewis's ear
hamdrax: gskefdgfdjsfjl
hamdrax: AGREED.
hamdrax: it boggles my fucking mind that this shit is considered ...classic literature
hamdrax: I mean, I read it when I was 18, right
hamdrax: so this was... previous to very much ALL OF THE ACTIVISM!!! on my part
hamdrax: like, at all, and I was especially ignorant about race issues when I was 18
hamdrax: and even then
hamdrax: some white chick sitting in my bed reading the last battle
hamdrax: I was like "......."
hamdrax: "who hit this with the racism stick"
hamdrax: "is this some kind of tragic mistake"
hamdrax: and if it was LITERALLY the first thing that sprang into my mind and I was like WUTS ANTIRACISM at that point
hamdrax: I mean ...??? YOU'D THINK MORE PEOPLE WOULD NOTICE
sexybiopsy: Yeah I mean I never read Narnia but when people made a contemporary update of the ~classic children's literature that I read as a child
sexybiopsy: that was horribly racist
sexybiopsy: they just used the MOST BARE BONES OF THE CONCEPT
sexybiopsy: and okay the film was shitty but you know at least it wasn't about a white guy going to africa and teaching all the animals AND those black savages how to do AWESOME CIVILISATION
hamdrax: ........AUGH WHAT
sexybiopsy: hahaha doctor dolittle!
hamdrax: oh god THAT
sexybiopsy: I wish I was joking more than I am??
hamdrax: no I... I know
sexybiopsy: 8((((((
hamdrax: dr doolittle is especially bad because we are expected to believe that henry higgins
hamdrax: SORRY I MEAN DR DOOLITTLE
hamdrax: like gives a massive shit about how *animals* are treated
sexybiopsy: ghkjfg
sexybiopsy: I don't really recollect the film ..........
hamdrax: rex harrison I wonder if you were actually as much of an asshole as your films lead one to believe /CHIN ON HANDS
sexybiopsy: just the masses of horrible books that recount in detail the AWESOME POSTAL SYSTEM that he helps the USELESS AFRICANS implement and how happy they are that he showed them stamps.
hamdrax: oh my god.
sexybiopsy: see when they made a film of narnia, they should have taken a similar approach. Like CHILDREN + CUPBOARD + MAGIC WORLD + MAYBE A LION
hamdrax: sdfjdshflds
sexybiopsy: when I say a similar approach I mean a similar approach to the more recent update of doctor dolittle
hamdrax: oh yes
hamdrax: narnia STARRING EDDIE MURPHY
sexybiopsy: but was still just like IT'S A GUY HE TALKS TO ANIMALS I GUESS HE IS A DOCTOR OF SOME SORT!!!!
hamdrax: i'm for it.
sexybiopsy: eddie murphy can be aslan
hamdrax: yes that would be a better approach than going "ummmm maybe if we take out the line about women fighting makes wars bad???"
hamdrax: no no no cs lewis
hamdrax: cs lewis! WAR IS AN AWFUL PLACE FULL FUCKING STOP
sexybiopsy: YEP
hamdrax: /digs him up
hamdrax: /straps him to a table
hamdrax: /FLIPS THAT TABLE
sexybiopsy: AKDJgFKJDHJGKLHJKLghlkdfhklg ILU
sexybiopsy: okay so what have we learned from this conversation
sexybiopsy: 1. cs lewis is fucking terrible
sexybiopsy: 2. eddie murphy should play aslan
hamdrax: yes
hamdrax: ideally, a badly cg'd cartoon aslan
sexybiopsy: yes
hamdrax: Ideally a badly cg'd cartoon aslan which has been character designed to look inexplicably like eddie murphy
hamdrax: ..so it has really big teeth.
sexybiopsy: wow this is beautiful in my mind
hamdrax: I KNOW RIGHT?
hamdrax: I'm imagining like, a cross between alex the lion
hamdrax: and donkey
hamdrax: from shrek.
This entry was originally posted at http://pob.dreamwidth.org/255566.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
sexybiopsy: yes
hamdrax: but well it also has the most fucking ladyfail in the history of ever?
sexybiopsy: i have heard a bit of that
hamdrax: women are either good because they are subservient in a way cs lewis thinks is proper
hamdrax: or they are evil because they have power
hamdrax: and this is stated in PERFECT CLARITY SEVERAL TIMES
hamdrax: literally he talks about this EVIL SCHOOL which like, ISNT RELIGIOUS!! AND THE HEADMASTER!!!! IS A WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!
hamdrax: AND IT'S PRESENTED AND ACCEPTED BY THE NARRATOR IN THE SAME *BREATH* AS THE WORST THING!!! EVER!!!!!
hamdrax: and at the same time it's very
hamdrax: LADIES SHOULD BE LESS RECOGNIZABLY FEMININE BECAUSE CS LEWIS THINKS THAT'S NOT VERY HOT
hamdrax: so susan gets punished (basically sent sent to lion hell!!!!!!) for wearing makeup, and dancing w/ boys.
hamdrax: all the "good" women are sort of spunky in a generic way and "challenge" the mens but ONLY TO A CERTAIN POINT!!!
hamdrax: so it's just the epitome of "you behave this way, or you are TOO WOMANLY and womanliness is BAD"
hamdrax: but you know you're not allowed to reject your PLACE as a woman or you're also bad.
hamdrax: and the line which is drawn is just a totally arbitrary one because cs lewis KNOWSSSSS EVERYTHINNNGG about how a lady SHOULD BEEEeee
hamdrax: so that is the misogyny
hamdrax: now, the racism!
sexybiopsy: OH BOY
hamdrax: some of the bad guys in the last battle are fantasy!muslims
hamdrax: they are the only brown people in the book.
sexybiopsy: awesome
hamdrax: their "god" ends up being an evil demon who has been deceiving them into worshipping it!
hamdrax: and at the end they are basically revealed as being LITERALLY BLIND to its.. evilitude
hamdrax: except for a few Good Brown People who accept the truth that is white european lion jesus.
hamdrax: and become sidekicks in assisting the white children!
hamdrax: :D!!!!!
sexybiopsy: oh lovely.
hamdrax: OH YES.
sexybiopsy: ohhhh c s lewis i will chucketh you out a window
hamdrax: I HATE HIM SO MUCH HOLY FUCKING FUCK!
sexybiopsy: what a bucket of wangs
hamdrax: and I especially extra hate him when people go on about how he was such a great example of benevolent christiandom!!!!
hamdrax: NO, DIAF
sexybiopsy: hahaha oh wow
hamdrax: I mean as far as I hear TELL the films have TRIED to tone down the racism and sexism which is RAMPANT??
hamdrax: but um
hamdrax: the premise is still "hooray eurocentric christian bullshit cs lewis made up" ?
hamdrax: which.... wow I cannot imagine why I would find that uninteresting!
hamdrax: but I sure as fuck do!
hamdrax: I mean when you look at it and think about it aslan/narnia
hamdrax: are basically christianity with all of the middle east removed with tweezers and injected with as much WESTERN EUROPE!!!! into them as humanly possible
hamdrax: except for a couple ~exotic~ elements
hamdrax: and it's like, holy fuck you guys narnia isn't just an interesting premise with problematic aspects!!
hamdrax: NARNIA IS A BIG PROBLEM
sexybiopsy: lsdkjhgdfkljgh
hamdrax: A BIG PROBLEM IN A WARDROBE.
hamdrax: THAT IS WHAT IT FUCKING IS.
sexybiopsy: Yeah I ... have never heard anything that begins to persuade me otherw- LMAO
hamdrax: /gives cs lewis the finger, emphatically
sexybiopsy: /ALSO
hamdrax: I mean it even BEGINS like, hello charming little well behaved white children, come be the tyrannic rulers of our silly somewhat exotic animal/half-animal filled society !
hamdrax: c:
sexybiopsy: ugh yeah
sexybiopsy: FUCK THAT
hamdrax: MMMMMM
hamdrax: fuck it
hamdrax: narnia is an amazing place of OH MY GOD CS LEWIS WHO GAVE YOU A PEN
sexybiopsy: LMFAO
sexybiopsy: SFHglfkdjh
hamdrax: WHO????
sexybiopsy: the correct way to give cs lewis a pen:
sexybiopsy: take pen
sexybiopsy: take cs lewis
sexybiopsy: ram pen in cs lewis's ear
hamdrax: gskefdgfdjsfjl
hamdrax: AGREED.
hamdrax: it boggles my fucking mind that this shit is considered ...classic literature
hamdrax: I mean, I read it when I was 18, right
hamdrax: so this was... previous to very much ALL OF THE ACTIVISM!!! on my part
hamdrax: like, at all, and I was especially ignorant about race issues when I was 18
hamdrax: and even then
hamdrax: some white chick sitting in my bed reading the last battle
hamdrax: I was like "......."
hamdrax: "who hit this with the racism stick"
hamdrax: "is this some kind of tragic mistake"
hamdrax: and if it was LITERALLY the first thing that sprang into my mind and I was like WUTS ANTIRACISM at that point
hamdrax: I mean ...??? YOU'D THINK MORE PEOPLE WOULD NOTICE
sexybiopsy: Yeah I mean I never read Narnia but when people made a contemporary update of the ~classic children's literature that I read as a child
sexybiopsy: that was horribly racist
sexybiopsy: they just used the MOST BARE BONES OF THE CONCEPT
sexybiopsy: and okay the film was shitty but you know at least it wasn't about a white guy going to africa and teaching all the animals AND those black savages how to do AWESOME CIVILISATION
hamdrax: ........AUGH WHAT
sexybiopsy: hahaha doctor dolittle!
hamdrax: oh god THAT
sexybiopsy: I wish I was joking more than I am??
hamdrax: no I... I know
sexybiopsy: 8((((((
hamdrax: dr doolittle is especially bad because we are expected to believe that henry higgins
hamdrax: SORRY I MEAN DR DOOLITTLE
hamdrax: like gives a massive shit about how *animals* are treated
sexybiopsy: ghkjfg
sexybiopsy: I don't really recollect the film ..........
hamdrax: rex harrison I wonder if you were actually as much of an asshole as your films lead one to believe /CHIN ON HANDS
sexybiopsy: just the masses of horrible books that recount in detail the AWESOME POSTAL SYSTEM that he helps the USELESS AFRICANS implement and how happy they are that he showed them stamps.
hamdrax: oh my god.
sexybiopsy: see when they made a film of narnia, they should have taken a similar approach. Like CHILDREN + CUPBOARD + MAGIC WORLD + MAYBE A LION
hamdrax: sdfjdshflds
sexybiopsy: when I say a similar approach I mean a similar approach to the more recent update of doctor dolittle
hamdrax: oh yes
hamdrax: narnia STARRING EDDIE MURPHY
sexybiopsy: but was still just like IT'S A GUY HE TALKS TO ANIMALS I GUESS HE IS A DOCTOR OF SOME SORT!!!!
hamdrax: i'm for it.
sexybiopsy: eddie murphy can be aslan
hamdrax: yes that would be a better approach than going "ummmm maybe if we take out the line about women fighting makes wars bad???"
hamdrax: no no no cs lewis
hamdrax: cs lewis! WAR IS AN AWFUL PLACE FULL FUCKING STOP
sexybiopsy: YEP
hamdrax: /digs him up
hamdrax: /straps him to a table
hamdrax: /FLIPS THAT TABLE
sexybiopsy: AKDJgFKJDHJGKLHJKLghlkdfhklg ILU
sexybiopsy: okay so what have we learned from this conversation
sexybiopsy: 1. cs lewis is fucking terrible
sexybiopsy: 2. eddie murphy should play aslan
hamdrax: yes
hamdrax: ideally, a badly cg'd cartoon aslan
sexybiopsy: yes
hamdrax: Ideally a badly cg'd cartoon aslan which has been character designed to look inexplicably like eddie murphy
hamdrax: ..so it has really big teeth.
sexybiopsy: wow this is beautiful in my mind
hamdrax: I KNOW RIGHT?
hamdrax: I'm imagining like, a cross between alex the lion
hamdrax: and donkey
hamdrax: from shrek.
This entry was originally posted at http://pob.dreamwidth.org/255566.html. Please comment there using OpenID.