Officially Single again *sigh*
It seems like not that long ago I was writing that I was officially someone's girlfriend. And now I am officially single again. Brad and I decided that he needed to concentrate on getting his head together and getting sober again so that he could start living his life to the fullest again. But it turns out that he cannot do it with me. I know that he still loves me and I know that I still love him. I keep writing that and I know that it is true. He has always been a great friend and a loving and attentive boyfriend. He really is a fabulous person. He just needs to get his head together by concentrating on that thing inside him that makes him want to drown out the voices in his head with drugs and alcohol. And unfortunatly that means that he can't expend that energy needed to maintain a relationship and keep his head together at the same time. We decided together that in order for us to both find peace, we would have to break it off completely. We tried the whole break thing, but I have been miserable for the last 12 days, thinking that he was trying to get rid of me, thinking that he was ignoring my calls, getting mad at him. This all springs from my own insecurities about men of course. So it turns out that I culdn't accept the whole break thing. It was finally the deal breaker for me. Being in limbo was too hard for me and I couldn't give any more of myself to him. So, we ended it, clean break. And now I miss him horribly. Finding a way to fill the empty hole that is now in my life will be very difficult. But I think that I can do it....eventually. *sigh*