Valentine's Day, Ch 9...Gay Means 'Happy'....Right?
Dave stared blankly into the open refrigerator. His thoughts were jumbled and disorganized. He moved a package of sausage over and pulled out the strawberry jam. He walked to the pantry and grabbed the peanut butter and a loaf of bread. His motions were robotic. He wasn’t thinking about his after-school snack. He was thinking about what he would say to his parents later that evening.
He stood in the kitchen and ate his sandwich….staring across the room, deep in thought. He checked the time on the microwave clock and smiled. He reached into the loaf of bread, pulled out four more slices and proceeded to make two more sandwiches. Licking the peanut butter from his fingers, he leaned back against the countertop and waited.
The front door opened and shut. Lauren trudged into the house, down the hall and into the kitchen.
“Hey.” Dave smiled widely at his little sister.
“Um, hi.” Lauren looked around the room, a little puzzled.
“I made you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.” He said, still smiling.
Lauren eyed the sandwich on the counter cautiously. “Why?”
“I didn’t know I needed a reason, Ren.” He had eaten almost half of his second sandwich, still leaning against the counter, still smiling.
“Ok……thanks, I guess.” She picked up the plate and carried it to her room.
Dave followed her.
Lauren was standing next to her desk, unzipping her backpack. Dave stuffed the last bite of sandwich into his mouth and leaned against the frame of her open door.
“So how was school today?” he mumbled with a mouth full of food.
Lauren jumped. She turned around and eyed her brother with suspicion. “Ok….” She stated slowly.
“Did you learn anything cool?” He licked a tiny bit of peanut butter from his thumb.
“No. I didn’t learn anything cool.” Lauren was now totally mystified with her brother’s strange behavior.
“You have any homework?” he asked, casually.
“Yeah. A little bit in science.” This was definitely not normal.
“Aww, man, I loved science. You have Mrs. Rose, don’t you? She was a pretty cool teacher.”
“Yeah. Pretty cool.” Lauren’s voice was monotone and wary.
Dave continued, “Ok, so uh, you do your homework and I’ll get started on mine. I was thinking about dinner. Remember that pizza baked spaghetti that mom used to make. If you want to help, I was gonna try to make that for dinner before mom and dad get home.”
“Ok, stop. Who are you and what have you done with my brother?” Lauren could feel an uneasy smile spread onto her face as she studied her brother’s relaxed and genuine manner.
“Its me….still me.” Dave chuckled. “I’m just feeling really good right now. I finally figured something out today and it feels….” Dave glanced around the room, searching for inspiration on how to describe this feeling. “it feels exhilarating.”
“Exhilarating?” Lauren questioned. “And what is it you figured out, exactly?” She wasn’t really sure she needed to know. This weirdness might be enough for now.
Dave stepped inside Lauren’s room and sat on the edge of her bed. “How do you like 8th grade, Ren? Are you happy?”
“You’re really freaking me out, Dave. Like, seriously.” She couldn’t help but laugh. This whole conversation was just strange. They hadn’t said more than a few words at a time to each other in months, maybe longer. She had a fleeting memory of a time when they could talk like this, freely and casually, before he became a jerk and began teasing her non-stop. The last couple months, though, he seemed to just hide out in his room, gloomy.
“No, seriously?” Dave pushed. “I mean, you’re pretty smart, you’re popular, right? And you have a lot of friends. You like 8th grade, don’t you?”
“Yes, 8th grade is pretty cool, I guess.” She relaxed. She thought maybe she should just humor her big, dopey brother for now.
“Well, high school can be tough. I mean, the adjustment to 9th grade.” Dave studied the pattern on Lauren’s bedspread. “Not everyone makes it. You have to be confident and sure about yourself so that when you get there, they won’t change you. The pressure and the need to fit in can really screw with a kid’s head.” He looked up at his sister and smiled uneasily, “You can’t let people take away your self-confidence. I wasn’t strong enough. I became someone else and I was miserable.”
“But you’re popular, you’re into sports, you have friends. I thought you were happy.” Lauren relaxed and sat down in the chair at her desk.
“No. I’ve been faking it.” Dave shook his head. “I mean, yeah, I had friends but they were bigger jerks than me sometimes. I don’t even know what happened to me. I was really screwed up. I loved playing hockey and football, being a part of a team. But the person I had to become to please my so-called friends, to try to fit in….he was a douche.”
“You can say that again! You got suspended for bullying.” Lauren could see the sadness in her brother’s eyes as he remembered what happened.
“Yeah. The suspension, and what happened right after…that’s what woke me up. I realized I didn’t want to lie anymore. I’ve been working on something since then and today it finally just all came together.”
“Ok. You got me. What is it? What did you figure out?” Lauren was really curious now. This was a side to her brother she knew nothing about. But wanted to.
“I realized that I can be the real me again. I can accept who I am and be happy with it. Not just happy but proud. I’m going to tell mom and dad tonight” Dave sighed deeply and smiled at his little sister, “and it doesn’t matter what their reaction is because I am finally able to say it and mean it. I was scared and angry….I didn’t want this. I was so pissed, Ren, afraid to face the truth. But I don’t hate that part of me anymore.”
“What….is….it?” Dave was making very little sense and she tried her best to keep up.
“I’m gay, Lauren.” The smile on Dave’s face was infectious, she couldn’t help but smile too. “I’ve known for so long but I tried to pretend it wasn’t true. I buried it so deep inside and I hated myself for so long. That’s where the problems started. I was pathetic, harassing other kids to make myself feel better.”
“Are you serious? You’re really gay?”
“Yes, really.” Dave chuckled. “I’ve been seeing someone at school, actually. For a couple months. His name is Kurt.” Dave fumbled with the tassel on the corner of a pillowcase and thought about Kurt. “He’s been so patient with me, waiting for me to get this shit figured out.” The release that came from confiding in his sister was almost tangible. “I have to tell mom and dad tonight because I want to go to prom with Kurt Saturday night.”
“Omg, that’s so cool.” Lauren jumped out of her seat and hugged her brother still seated on her bed.
“Yeah, well. I was thinking that if I told you first, then you’d be there, like, on my side when I tell mom and dad.” Dave poked his sister in the arm. “I really don’t know what they’ll say or how they’ll react. But I have to tell them.”
“Do any of your friends know? At school? I mean, besides your boyfriend…” Lauren giggled and repeated the last word slowly, “…boyfriend.”
“Yeah, a few have figured it out. Kurt’s parents know and his step-brother, Finn.” Dave stood and stretched his back slightly. “I still have to figure out how I’m going to tell people at school, but first mom and dad….”
Kurt finished what little homework he had and was now surfing prom season apparel online. He and Blaine had already gone shopping. He fell in love with a single-breasted black jacket with a satin mandarin collar and decided on the platinum paisley vest, platinum silk necktie and white tux shirt. Blaine went with the classic black notch-collar and black bowtie. Mercedes’ dress was red so Blaine was going to wear a red flower on his lapel. Everything was set….Kurt wasn’t looking for any more ideas on his choice of prom wardrobe.
He was imagining what Dave would wear.
Why couldn’t Dave come out before prom? He hated feeling like such a selfish bitch but if Dave really cared about him, he would understand how important prom was. Why? What was holding him back?
Kurt clicked on a few more styles of tuxedo and glanced up at the picture taped to his vanity mirror. The last time Dave was over, before he killed Kurt at scrabble, Carole had taken out the camera and snapped a couple candids of everyone. Kurt and Dave were sitting on the couch together, holding hands. Kurt’s mouth was open mid-speak and Dave was smiling broadly and looking at Kurt. It was such a goofy picture but Kurt loved it. The relaxed and easy smile on Dave’s face made his heart skip.
When was Dave going to be relaxed and easy with the rest of the world? He said he was trying. But Kurt didn’t know what that meant anymore.
Lauren was placing the last of the pepperoni slices across the top of the spaghetti casserole. Once the oven was preheated, Dave slid the pan in and shut the door. “Now the fun part….I get to watch you clean up this mess!” Dave tossed the dishtowel at his sister.
“Psssht. Whatever! You made more of this mess than me.” She threw the dishtowel back.
“But I’m the big brother and if I say you have to clean up this mess, then guess what….you have to clean up this mess.” He laughed and began to set the microwave timer just as the phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Hi, David. Just wanted you to know I’m on my way home.” Vicky Karofsky was calling from her car. “Work ran a little late. If you want, I can stop and pick up some fast food. Do you guys want Chinese or KFC?”
“Don’t worry about that, mom. Lauren and I made dinner.” Dave managed to dodge the towel snap that Lauren was attempting, laughing and almost dropping the phone. “Sorry, mom, hang on,….hey I’m serious, Ren, you’ll be cleaning my room too if you keep this up!”
“What did you say? You made what?”
“Dinner. Lauren and I made pizza baked spaghetti. Just put it in the oven.” He was barely able to hold the phone to his ear while wrestling the dishtowel out of his sister’s hands. “Stop it, stop kicking me. I’m gonna tell mom!” Dave was laughing and Vicky wasn’t quite sure if she called the right number. “Hey, mom, how long do I set the timer for? Twenty minutes?”
“Um. Yeah, twenty minutes. Is everything ok? Are you feeling alright?” The sound of Lauren’s squeals and laughter made Vicky laugh, but this was definitely unusual behavior for her son.
“Everything’s great, mom. Hurry home. I gotta tell ya something.” With that he hung up the phone and chased Lauren down the hall, cornering her in the living room. “Ha, got ya. This will teach you to mess with The Fury!” He tossed his sister on the couch and began tickling her.
“The what? More like The Funny! Ok, stop it, stop it! I give up…!” she shouted through her laughter. He released his hold and slapped her lightly on the leg.
“Alright, goofball, let’s clean up.”
They made their way back to the kitchen and began loading the dishwasher. “I think I like this new ‘Gay Dave’….” she laughed. “He’s pretty cool.”
“Gee, thanks.” Dave swung his hips and bumped his sister over about a foot. “But I can’t say that he’s new. He’s just back.”
Dave’s father and mother sat at the dinner table, shooting puzzled looks at each other. Dave took another bite of his pasta and winked at his sister.
“I would really like to know what’s going on. This is nice, but will someone please tell me. When did David start cooking dinner?” Paul Karofsky was enjoying his second plate but still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was up.
Lauren protested. “Hey. I helped. Its not like he could do this all by himself.”
“Of course, honey…” Vicky soothed. “But honestly, David. Is everything alright? Is there something you wanted to ask us….or tell us…?”
“As a matter of fact there is, mother….” Dave smiled. He had been waiting all afternoon, no actually, he mused….since 5th grade to tell his mom and dad. Now’s the time.
“I knew it. What’s wrong? Did you get in trouble at school again?” Paul dropped his fork and waited. “What happened?”
“No, things are great at school. Really. My grades are back up, even better than they were before. I haven’t had any more problems at school, ya know, with the whole bullying thing. Things are good.” Dave looked at his sister who gave him an encouraging nod and smile. “I just wanted to tell you guys something. It might surprise you, it might not. I don’t know. But I need to be completely honest with you.”
Paul looked at his wife, who looked back uneasily and reached for his hand. “What is it, David?” she asked calmly.
“I’m gay. I’ve known since I was eleven. I tried to fight it, but that almost killed me.” Dave spoke in a relaxed voice, watching his father’s reaction and then his mother’s. “I’m finally able to accept it. I’m gay and I hope you’re comfortable with that.”
Silence.
Nothing.
Dave smiled at Lauren who shrugged her shoulders and smiled back.
“David….? Are you sure?” Vicky’s voice trembled slightly.
“Yes, mom, I’m sure.”
Silence. Still nothing.
“Is this some kind of joke? Are you kidding me with this?” Paul stared across the table at his still smiling son.
“I’m not joking, dad. I wouldn’t joke about something like this. I’m being serious.”
Paul sat in disbelief, stunned. “So, we’re supposed to sit here and listen to you talk about being gay like it’s the fucking weather channel. You’re sitting there with that smart-aleck smirk on your face and we’re supposed to be ok with this?”
“I didn’t say you had to be ok with it, dad. I mean, I hope you are. But it doesn’t matter if you’re ok with it or not. I love you guys, really, and I know it might be hard to hear but I’m not asking for your approval or permission. I’m gay and I just thought you should know.”
“I think its awesome!” Lauren chimed in, almost bouncing in her seat. “Dave’s happy, dad. Things used to suck for him but they don’t anymore. Don’t you want him to be happy?”
“Happy? Sure, why not?” Paul said sarcastically. “But why can’t he be normal as well?”
“This is normal, dad, my normal. I didn’t choose it, I didn’t ask for it. It’s just me being me.” Dave’s eyes shot back and forth between his parent’s faces.
“Well,” his mother started slowly, “as long as you’re happy and you’re sure about this, then….” she squeezed her husband’s hand, “we’re ok with it. Right, honey?”
Paul still sat there, motionless, boring a hole through his son with his eyes. A lightbulb seemed to go off and he straightened his back sharply.
“Wait one goddamn minute. Does this have anything to do with that Hummel kid you were pushing around?”
Dave sighed. “I’m not gay because Kurt Hummel made me gay. It doesn’t work like that, dad.” Dave shook his head slightly, trying not to smile too big. “Kurt and I are,” he paused, not sure how much his father could handle at this point, “friends.”
“Friends?” Paul questioned.
“Really good friends, dad.”
“Oh, David. Are you sure? Really?” Vicky squeezed her husband’s hand tighter.
“Stop asking me that, mom. I’m sure.” Dave leaned back in his chair and waited. Lauren bounced excitedly.
“Well, I’ll be damned. My son’s a fag.”
“Paul!!!” Vicky protested.
“Its’ ok, mom. Really. He can’t call me any names or use any slurs that I haven’t screamed at myself already.” Dave was surprised at how relaxed and calm he felt. This was easier than he thought. Why did it take so long, anyway? “I hated myself, dad. I really hated myself. So any hate that you want to hurl at me, it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry you feel that way, but it doesn’t matter.”
Dave stood, stacked Lauren’s plate on top of his and reached for the empty casserole dish. “I’m glad you liked dinner. We should do this again sometime.” Lauren stood as well, picked up her parent’s plates and followed her brother to the kitchen.
After the dishwasher was started and Dave was back in his room, he texted Kurt.
can I come over?
its late but yeah, for a lil bit
Dave headed to the front door and grabbed his mother’s keys.
“Where are you going?” Lauren stopped Dave before went outside.
“I’m going to see Kurt, tell him what just happened. And ask him to prom.” Dave’s smile was permanent and he liked the way it felt.
“I wanna come, I wanna meet him….please?” she begged.
“Next time, Ren, promise. Its late and I gotta hurry. ‘Night.”
Once Dave was on the road he reached for his phone again and dialed.
“Hey, Blaine. Its me. Hey, any chance you’re free tomorrow after school. I can meet you half way if that’s easier. I need help picking out a tux.”
They talked for a while and agreed on a place and time to meet. Blaine was excited to hear the news and wasn’t afraid to admit how proud he was of his good friend for coming out to his parents.
“Do you think he’ll come around any time soon, your dad?” Blaine had asked.
“Yeah, I think so. It’ll be my mom, actually, talking to him, getting him to soften up a bit.”
“That’s great. It feels good, doesn’t it? Finally having that weight lifted….”
“Fuck yeah, it does. Feels incredible. I’m on my way to tell Kurt right now.” Dave paused, thinking. “Hey. Do you guys have plans with Mercedes before prom, like for dinner?”
“Oh yeah, I thought Kurt told you….I’m springing for a limo. You’re totally riding with us. I suggested we go somewhere a little nicer than Breadstix and we agreed on Matteo’s. Finn and Rachel are coming too. That makes six of us.”
“Perfect.” Dave turned onto Kurt’s street and slowed down. “Oh, Blaine. I had something else I wanted to ask you. After we find a tux, can you help me, um…..pick out a really good song? Kurt liked it when I sang to him that one time. I want to do it again, like take him somewhere private, away from the dance floor and crowd and sing to him. What do you think?”
“Wow. Sounds romantic, Dave. I see why he’s so in love with you.” Blaine chuckled. He was mentally going through his inventory of cds and song lyrics. “I’ll bring a few songs that would work and you can pick the one you like. See you tomorrow, dude.”
“Cool, see you then.” Dave ended the call, stepped out of his car and walked up to Kurt’s porch. Kurt was waiting.
“Hi, Muffin. I’ve missed you.” Dave wrapped his arms around Kurt’s light frame and lifted him off his feet, spinning around in a full circle right there in the foyer.
Kurt squealed from the surprise move, “Dear lord, what is wrong with you?” he laughed.
“I did it, Baby, I told them. I sat them down and I just….told them.” Dave had placed Kurt back on his feet but kept his arms wrapped tightly around Kurt’s body. “I feel so fucking good right now. I swear, this is a bigger adrenaline rush than sacking a quarterback.”
“Are you serious?” Kurt was thrilled, “You came out?”
“To my parents. And my sister, Lauren. She wants to meet you, by the way.” Dave chuckled and picked Kurt up again, spinning him around in two more full circles. “I did it, I did it, I did it.”
Kurt’s shrieks brought Burt from the family room. “Everything ok out here?”
Dave placed Kurt down clumsily and laughed through his apology, “I’m sorry, Mr. Hummel. I just had to tell Kurt some good news.”
“Dad, Dave just came out to his parents.” Kurt beamed.
“Is that right?” Burt nodded. “And? How’d they take it?”
“Well, my dad will probably come around. My mom’s good at getting him to ease up, you know. They weren’t too terribly upset.” Dave smiled at Kurt’s glowing face. “There may have been a raised voice or two but all-in-all, it wasn’t that bad.”
“Well, I’m happy for you, David.” Burt could almost see the joy oozing from his son’s every pore.
“Um, can we go to my room, dad? Just for a little while?” Kurt was pulling Dave by the hand ever so lightly, wanting to get him downstairs immediately.
“I know its late, Mr. Hummel. Ten minutes, max, I promise.” Dave pulled his hand back slightly, not wanting to appear too eager in front of Kurt’s father.
“You can have twenty. Then its goodnight. It was nice to see you again, David.”
They reached the bottom of the stairs and were making out on Kurt’s bed in record time.
“This is so incredible. Tell me what happened.” Kurt didn’t want to stop kissing Dave but he really wanted to hear the story.
“It just clicked, Baby. It just finally all came together.” Dave wrapped his arm underneath Kurt and pulled him close. “Before today I honestly could not imagine telling my parents I was gay. I was so afraid of what their reaction might have been. Yelling, fighting, kicking me out. It was over-whelming to think about. I didn’t want to hurt them. I didn’t want to disappoint them. So I never could figure out a way to say it. I was terrified.” Dave propped himself up on his elbow and studied his boyfriend’s angelic face. “Then today, this afternoon, I just realized that its not about them. I mean, I still didn’t want to hurt them intentionally, you know, but for me to be happy, really truly happy, I had to just say it….say it, and let them think and do what they wanted to. The pressure was off me trying to please them.”
“Wow. That’s just so. Wow.” Kurt started to tear up and Dave leaned in to kiss him again.
“So. I have a question.” Dave pulled back from Kurt slightly and suddenly felt a small pang of nervousness. “Can I take you to prom?”
“EEECK!” Kurt closed the few inches that separated their bodies with a tight hug. “Yes, yes, yes! Of course, a million times Yes!”
“Good.” Dave relaxed. Kurt kissed his boyfriend even more enthusiastically. “I know you have Family Night tomorrow so I asked Blaine to help me pick out a tux. He told me about the limo and dinner at Matteo’s. It’ll be like, a group thing.” Dave paused, trying to make sure he didn’t upset Kurt. “I’m not totally sure about the whole ‘coming out at school’ thing. But I know how important Saturday night will be for you and I want to be there.” Dave felt a mix of nervousness and anxiety as he considered the idea of coming out to the entire student population. That may have to wait, he thought. “Worst case scenario, we can duck out together and do some private dancing of our own.”
Kurt tried not to be disappointed that Dave wasn’t ready for everyone at McKinley High to know. He just savored this feeling. His boyfriend, that he loved very much, was making real, wonderful, progress and he couldn’t be more proud.
“I love you, David.”
“I love you too, Peaches.”
The next day at school, Dave and Kurt’s moments in the hall where definitely different. Instead of the usual quick glance and nod, Dave locked his eyes on Kurt’s sweet smile as soon as they entered the same hallway. He held that stare as they walked towards each other and just as they were about to pass, Dave licked his lower lip, bit it gently and smiled. Kurt got an immediate erection. Fuck, he thought, laughing to himself, at this rate I will walk around school with a permanent hard-on once Dave comes out completely.
Between 3rd and 4th period, Dave actually grabbed and squeezed Kurt’s hand for a split second as they passed by each other. Kurt’s brain had turned to mush.
Lunch was disappointing though. Finn took the empty seat next to Kurt and Mercedes, not sure how they had beaten him through the line. Puck, Santana, Brittany and Artie joined the table. By the time Dave got through the line, Rachel, Tina and Mike had joined as well and the table was full. He had to find another table to sit at to avoid an awkward ‘hey, everybody scoot over so Dave can sit next to Kurt…’
Dave found a seat next to the moron Neil and ate his lunch quietly, keeping an eye on Kurt’s shoulder, hoping he’d turn around so they could reconnect again.
“So, is that Columbus chick coming to prom, or what, Karofsky?” Damn, Dave thought, what is the matter with this dude.
“No. She couldn’t make it.”
“Who couldn’t make what?” Jay asked as he took an empty seat.
“Haha. Karofsky’s going stag to prom, like a loser. A fucking gay loser.” Dave wanted to punch the crap out of that kid.
Dave stood and reached for his tray. “No, actually, I’m not, dickwad. I’m taking someone. Why don’t you go fuck yourself?”
As Dave walked away, he heard Jay shouting after him, “Who is she, Karofsky? Come on, don’t leave us in suspense.” Jay continued laughing as more jock idiots joined his table. Dave found an empty seat across the lunch room, even further away from Kurt than before. He reached in his pocket for his phone and shot a quick text.
if blaine pays 4 limo, that means i pay4 hotel, rite?
Dave could barely make out Kurt’s stunned expression from across the cafeteria. But he knew exactly what it looked like.
Dave and Blaine were working their way through the selection of tuxes.
“So, what color should I get? Like, if I wanted to match Kurt?” Dave wasn’t sure exactly how this was done and he was glad Blaine could help.
“Well, I wouldn’t go for matching colors, per se. I would recommend a contrast. Let’s see here.” Blaine was perusing the racks of vests, ties and cummerbunds. He held a dark blue necktie up next to Dave’s face. “This is a good color for you. I’ll show you the tux style that Kurt is wearing. I think if you had a similar jacket but with a different colored vest and tie, that would be really hot.”
The store clerk measured Dave for size and Blaine helped him pick out the right jacket. Staring at himself in the mirror, Dave had to admit, that douchebag Jay was right. He looked pretty damn good in this monkey suit. He knew Kurt wouldn’t be able to resist him.
They left the store, tux in hand and walked to Blaine’s SUV. Sitting in the parking lot, Blaine showed Dave what songs he thought would go well.
“I brought a personal favorite by Cole Porter. A couple Nat King Cole ones, he’s an old crooner, really romantic stuff and I think you know this song by Michael Bublé.” They listed to each song and Dave tried to sing a few verses. He was suddenly feeling nervous and thinking maybe this was a bad idea.
“Relax. You’ll do great.” Blaine encouraged. “Singing is sexy, even if you flub up a bit, Kurt will absolutely love it.
“Thanks, dude.” Dave relaxed and smiled. He put the cds in his pocket and folded the song lyrics in his hand. “Guess I’ll see you Saturday.”
The house was quiet when Dave got home. It was late. He made his way to his room and texted Kurt.
rlly wish i could taste u rite now
mmm, sleeping. but sounds wonderful
Dave undressed and climbed into bed. He turned off the light as his phone vibrated once more.
were u serious bout hotel?
deadly
He stood in the kitchen and ate his sandwich….staring across the room, deep in thought. He checked the time on the microwave clock and smiled. He reached into the loaf of bread, pulled out four more slices and proceeded to make two more sandwiches. Licking the peanut butter from his fingers, he leaned back against the countertop and waited.
The front door opened and shut. Lauren trudged into the house, down the hall and into the kitchen.
“Hey.” Dave smiled widely at his little sister.
“Um, hi.” Lauren looked around the room, a little puzzled.
“I made you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.” He said, still smiling.
Lauren eyed the sandwich on the counter cautiously. “Why?”
“I didn’t know I needed a reason, Ren.” He had eaten almost half of his second sandwich, still leaning against the counter, still smiling.
“Ok……thanks, I guess.” She picked up the plate and carried it to her room.
Dave followed her.
Lauren was standing next to her desk, unzipping her backpack. Dave stuffed the last bite of sandwich into his mouth and leaned against the frame of her open door.
“So how was school today?” he mumbled with a mouth full of food.
Lauren jumped. She turned around and eyed her brother with suspicion. “Ok….” She stated slowly.
“Did you learn anything cool?” He licked a tiny bit of peanut butter from his thumb.
“No. I didn’t learn anything cool.” Lauren was now totally mystified with her brother’s strange behavior.
“You have any homework?” he asked, casually.
“Yeah. A little bit in science.” This was definitely not normal.
“Aww, man, I loved science. You have Mrs. Rose, don’t you? She was a pretty cool teacher.”
“Yeah. Pretty cool.” Lauren’s voice was monotone and wary.
Dave continued, “Ok, so uh, you do your homework and I’ll get started on mine. I was thinking about dinner. Remember that pizza baked spaghetti that mom used to make. If you want to help, I was gonna try to make that for dinner before mom and dad get home.”
“Ok, stop. Who are you and what have you done with my brother?” Lauren could feel an uneasy smile spread onto her face as she studied her brother’s relaxed and genuine manner.
“Its me….still me.” Dave chuckled. “I’m just feeling really good right now. I finally figured something out today and it feels….” Dave glanced around the room, searching for inspiration on how to describe this feeling. “it feels exhilarating.”
“Exhilarating?” Lauren questioned. “And what is it you figured out, exactly?” She wasn’t really sure she needed to know. This weirdness might be enough for now.
Dave stepped inside Lauren’s room and sat on the edge of her bed. “How do you like 8th grade, Ren? Are you happy?”
“You’re really freaking me out, Dave. Like, seriously.” She couldn’t help but laugh. This whole conversation was just strange. They hadn’t said more than a few words at a time to each other in months, maybe longer. She had a fleeting memory of a time when they could talk like this, freely and casually, before he became a jerk and began teasing her non-stop. The last couple months, though, he seemed to just hide out in his room, gloomy.
“No, seriously?” Dave pushed. “I mean, you’re pretty smart, you’re popular, right? And you have a lot of friends. You like 8th grade, don’t you?”
“Yes, 8th grade is pretty cool, I guess.” She relaxed. She thought maybe she should just humor her big, dopey brother for now.
“Well, high school can be tough. I mean, the adjustment to 9th grade.” Dave studied the pattern on Lauren’s bedspread. “Not everyone makes it. You have to be confident and sure about yourself so that when you get there, they won’t change you. The pressure and the need to fit in can really screw with a kid’s head.” He looked up at his sister and smiled uneasily, “You can’t let people take away your self-confidence. I wasn’t strong enough. I became someone else and I was miserable.”
“But you’re popular, you’re into sports, you have friends. I thought you were happy.” Lauren relaxed and sat down in the chair at her desk.
“No. I’ve been faking it.” Dave shook his head. “I mean, yeah, I had friends but they were bigger jerks than me sometimes. I don’t even know what happened to me. I was really screwed up. I loved playing hockey and football, being a part of a team. But the person I had to become to please my so-called friends, to try to fit in….he was a douche.”
“You can say that again! You got suspended for bullying.” Lauren could see the sadness in her brother’s eyes as he remembered what happened.
“Yeah. The suspension, and what happened right after…that’s what woke me up. I realized I didn’t want to lie anymore. I’ve been working on something since then and today it finally just all came together.”
“Ok. You got me. What is it? What did you figure out?” Lauren was really curious now. This was a side to her brother she knew nothing about. But wanted to.
“I realized that I can be the real me again. I can accept who I am and be happy with it. Not just happy but proud. I’m going to tell mom and dad tonight” Dave sighed deeply and smiled at his little sister, “and it doesn’t matter what their reaction is because I am finally able to say it and mean it. I was scared and angry….I didn’t want this. I was so pissed, Ren, afraid to face the truth. But I don’t hate that part of me anymore.”
“What….is….it?” Dave was making very little sense and she tried her best to keep up.
“I’m gay, Lauren.” The smile on Dave’s face was infectious, she couldn’t help but smile too. “I’ve known for so long but I tried to pretend it wasn’t true. I buried it so deep inside and I hated myself for so long. That’s where the problems started. I was pathetic, harassing other kids to make myself feel better.”
“Are you serious? You’re really gay?”
“Yes, really.” Dave chuckled. “I’ve been seeing someone at school, actually. For a couple months. His name is Kurt.” Dave fumbled with the tassel on the corner of a pillowcase and thought about Kurt. “He’s been so patient with me, waiting for me to get this shit figured out.” The release that came from confiding in his sister was almost tangible. “I have to tell mom and dad tonight because I want to go to prom with Kurt Saturday night.”
“Omg, that’s so cool.” Lauren jumped out of her seat and hugged her brother still seated on her bed.
“Yeah, well. I was thinking that if I told you first, then you’d be there, like, on my side when I tell mom and dad.” Dave poked his sister in the arm. “I really don’t know what they’ll say or how they’ll react. But I have to tell them.”
“Do any of your friends know? At school? I mean, besides your boyfriend…” Lauren giggled and repeated the last word slowly, “…boyfriend.”
“Yeah, a few have figured it out. Kurt’s parents know and his step-brother, Finn.” Dave stood and stretched his back slightly. “I still have to figure out how I’m going to tell people at school, but first mom and dad….”
Kurt finished what little homework he had and was now surfing prom season apparel online. He and Blaine had already gone shopping. He fell in love with a single-breasted black jacket with a satin mandarin collar and decided on the platinum paisley vest, platinum silk necktie and white tux shirt. Blaine went with the classic black notch-collar and black bowtie. Mercedes’ dress was red so Blaine was going to wear a red flower on his lapel. Everything was set….Kurt wasn’t looking for any more ideas on his choice of prom wardrobe.
He was imagining what Dave would wear.
Why couldn’t Dave come out before prom? He hated feeling like such a selfish bitch but if Dave really cared about him, he would understand how important prom was. Why? What was holding him back?
Kurt clicked on a few more styles of tuxedo and glanced up at the picture taped to his vanity mirror. The last time Dave was over, before he killed Kurt at scrabble, Carole had taken out the camera and snapped a couple candids of everyone. Kurt and Dave were sitting on the couch together, holding hands. Kurt’s mouth was open mid-speak and Dave was smiling broadly and looking at Kurt. It was such a goofy picture but Kurt loved it. The relaxed and easy smile on Dave’s face made his heart skip.
When was Dave going to be relaxed and easy with the rest of the world? He said he was trying. But Kurt didn’t know what that meant anymore.
Lauren was placing the last of the pepperoni slices across the top of the spaghetti casserole. Once the oven was preheated, Dave slid the pan in and shut the door. “Now the fun part….I get to watch you clean up this mess!” Dave tossed the dishtowel at his sister.
“Psssht. Whatever! You made more of this mess than me.” She threw the dishtowel back.
“But I’m the big brother and if I say you have to clean up this mess, then guess what….you have to clean up this mess.” He laughed and began to set the microwave timer just as the phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Hi, David. Just wanted you to know I’m on my way home.” Vicky Karofsky was calling from her car. “Work ran a little late. If you want, I can stop and pick up some fast food. Do you guys want Chinese or KFC?”
“Don’t worry about that, mom. Lauren and I made dinner.” Dave managed to dodge the towel snap that Lauren was attempting, laughing and almost dropping the phone. “Sorry, mom, hang on,….hey I’m serious, Ren, you’ll be cleaning my room too if you keep this up!”
“What did you say? You made what?”
“Dinner. Lauren and I made pizza baked spaghetti. Just put it in the oven.” He was barely able to hold the phone to his ear while wrestling the dishtowel out of his sister’s hands. “Stop it, stop kicking me. I’m gonna tell mom!” Dave was laughing and Vicky wasn’t quite sure if she called the right number. “Hey, mom, how long do I set the timer for? Twenty minutes?”
“Um. Yeah, twenty minutes. Is everything ok? Are you feeling alright?” The sound of Lauren’s squeals and laughter made Vicky laugh, but this was definitely unusual behavior for her son.
“Everything’s great, mom. Hurry home. I gotta tell ya something.” With that he hung up the phone and chased Lauren down the hall, cornering her in the living room. “Ha, got ya. This will teach you to mess with The Fury!” He tossed his sister on the couch and began tickling her.
“The what? More like The Funny! Ok, stop it, stop it! I give up…!” she shouted through her laughter. He released his hold and slapped her lightly on the leg.
“Alright, goofball, let’s clean up.”
They made their way back to the kitchen and began loading the dishwasher. “I think I like this new ‘Gay Dave’….” she laughed. “He’s pretty cool.”
“Gee, thanks.” Dave swung his hips and bumped his sister over about a foot. “But I can’t say that he’s new. He’s just back.”
Dave’s father and mother sat at the dinner table, shooting puzzled looks at each other. Dave took another bite of his pasta and winked at his sister.
“I would really like to know what’s going on. This is nice, but will someone please tell me. When did David start cooking dinner?” Paul Karofsky was enjoying his second plate but still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was up.
Lauren protested. “Hey. I helped. Its not like he could do this all by himself.”
“Of course, honey…” Vicky soothed. “But honestly, David. Is everything alright? Is there something you wanted to ask us….or tell us…?”
“As a matter of fact there is, mother….” Dave smiled. He had been waiting all afternoon, no actually, he mused….since 5th grade to tell his mom and dad. Now’s the time.
“I knew it. What’s wrong? Did you get in trouble at school again?” Paul dropped his fork and waited. “What happened?”
“No, things are great at school. Really. My grades are back up, even better than they were before. I haven’t had any more problems at school, ya know, with the whole bullying thing. Things are good.” Dave looked at his sister who gave him an encouraging nod and smile. “I just wanted to tell you guys something. It might surprise you, it might not. I don’t know. But I need to be completely honest with you.”
Paul looked at his wife, who looked back uneasily and reached for his hand. “What is it, David?” she asked calmly.
“I’m gay. I’ve known since I was eleven. I tried to fight it, but that almost killed me.” Dave spoke in a relaxed voice, watching his father’s reaction and then his mother’s. “I’m finally able to accept it. I’m gay and I hope you’re comfortable with that.”
Silence.
Nothing.
Dave smiled at Lauren who shrugged her shoulders and smiled back.
“David….? Are you sure?” Vicky’s voice trembled slightly.
“Yes, mom, I’m sure.”
Silence. Still nothing.
“Is this some kind of joke? Are you kidding me with this?” Paul stared across the table at his still smiling son.
“I’m not joking, dad. I wouldn’t joke about something like this. I’m being serious.”
Paul sat in disbelief, stunned. “So, we’re supposed to sit here and listen to you talk about being gay like it’s the fucking weather channel. You’re sitting there with that smart-aleck smirk on your face and we’re supposed to be ok with this?”
“I didn’t say you had to be ok with it, dad. I mean, I hope you are. But it doesn’t matter if you’re ok with it or not. I love you guys, really, and I know it might be hard to hear but I’m not asking for your approval or permission. I’m gay and I just thought you should know.”
“I think its awesome!” Lauren chimed in, almost bouncing in her seat. “Dave’s happy, dad. Things used to suck for him but they don’t anymore. Don’t you want him to be happy?”
“Happy? Sure, why not?” Paul said sarcastically. “But why can’t he be normal as well?”
“This is normal, dad, my normal. I didn’t choose it, I didn’t ask for it. It’s just me being me.” Dave’s eyes shot back and forth between his parent’s faces.
“Well,” his mother started slowly, “as long as you’re happy and you’re sure about this, then….” she squeezed her husband’s hand, “we’re ok with it. Right, honey?”
Paul still sat there, motionless, boring a hole through his son with his eyes. A lightbulb seemed to go off and he straightened his back sharply.
“Wait one goddamn minute. Does this have anything to do with that Hummel kid you were pushing around?”
Dave sighed. “I’m not gay because Kurt Hummel made me gay. It doesn’t work like that, dad.” Dave shook his head slightly, trying not to smile too big. “Kurt and I are,” he paused, not sure how much his father could handle at this point, “friends.”
“Friends?” Paul questioned.
“Really good friends, dad.”
“Oh, David. Are you sure? Really?” Vicky squeezed her husband’s hand tighter.
“Stop asking me that, mom. I’m sure.” Dave leaned back in his chair and waited. Lauren bounced excitedly.
“Well, I’ll be damned. My son’s a fag.”
“Paul!!!” Vicky protested.
“Its’ ok, mom. Really. He can’t call me any names or use any slurs that I haven’t screamed at myself already.” Dave was surprised at how relaxed and calm he felt. This was easier than he thought. Why did it take so long, anyway? “I hated myself, dad. I really hated myself. So any hate that you want to hurl at me, it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry you feel that way, but it doesn’t matter.”
Dave stood, stacked Lauren’s plate on top of his and reached for the empty casserole dish. “I’m glad you liked dinner. We should do this again sometime.” Lauren stood as well, picked up her parent’s plates and followed her brother to the kitchen.
After the dishwasher was started and Dave was back in his room, he texted Kurt.
can I come over?
its late but yeah, for a lil bit
Dave headed to the front door and grabbed his mother’s keys.
“Where are you going?” Lauren stopped Dave before went outside.
“I’m going to see Kurt, tell him what just happened. And ask him to prom.” Dave’s smile was permanent and he liked the way it felt.
“I wanna come, I wanna meet him….please?” she begged.
“Next time, Ren, promise. Its late and I gotta hurry. ‘Night.”
Once Dave was on the road he reached for his phone again and dialed.
“Hey, Blaine. Its me. Hey, any chance you’re free tomorrow after school. I can meet you half way if that’s easier. I need help picking out a tux.”
They talked for a while and agreed on a place and time to meet. Blaine was excited to hear the news and wasn’t afraid to admit how proud he was of his good friend for coming out to his parents.
“Do you think he’ll come around any time soon, your dad?” Blaine had asked.
“Yeah, I think so. It’ll be my mom, actually, talking to him, getting him to soften up a bit.”
“That’s great. It feels good, doesn’t it? Finally having that weight lifted….”
“Fuck yeah, it does. Feels incredible. I’m on my way to tell Kurt right now.” Dave paused, thinking. “Hey. Do you guys have plans with Mercedes before prom, like for dinner?”
“Oh yeah, I thought Kurt told you….I’m springing for a limo. You’re totally riding with us. I suggested we go somewhere a little nicer than Breadstix and we agreed on Matteo’s. Finn and Rachel are coming too. That makes six of us.”
“Perfect.” Dave turned onto Kurt’s street and slowed down. “Oh, Blaine. I had something else I wanted to ask you. After we find a tux, can you help me, um…..pick out a really good song? Kurt liked it when I sang to him that one time. I want to do it again, like take him somewhere private, away from the dance floor and crowd and sing to him. What do you think?”
“Wow. Sounds romantic, Dave. I see why he’s so in love with you.” Blaine chuckled. He was mentally going through his inventory of cds and song lyrics. “I’ll bring a few songs that would work and you can pick the one you like. See you tomorrow, dude.”
“Cool, see you then.” Dave ended the call, stepped out of his car and walked up to Kurt’s porch. Kurt was waiting.
“Hi, Muffin. I’ve missed you.” Dave wrapped his arms around Kurt’s light frame and lifted him off his feet, spinning around in a full circle right there in the foyer.
Kurt squealed from the surprise move, “Dear lord, what is wrong with you?” he laughed.
“I did it, Baby, I told them. I sat them down and I just….told them.” Dave had placed Kurt back on his feet but kept his arms wrapped tightly around Kurt’s body. “I feel so fucking good right now. I swear, this is a bigger adrenaline rush than sacking a quarterback.”
“Are you serious?” Kurt was thrilled, “You came out?”
“To my parents. And my sister, Lauren. She wants to meet you, by the way.” Dave chuckled and picked Kurt up again, spinning him around in two more full circles. “I did it, I did it, I did it.”
Kurt’s shrieks brought Burt from the family room. “Everything ok out here?”
Dave placed Kurt down clumsily and laughed through his apology, “I’m sorry, Mr. Hummel. I just had to tell Kurt some good news.”
“Dad, Dave just came out to his parents.” Kurt beamed.
“Is that right?” Burt nodded. “And? How’d they take it?”
“Well, my dad will probably come around. My mom’s good at getting him to ease up, you know. They weren’t too terribly upset.” Dave smiled at Kurt’s glowing face. “There may have been a raised voice or two but all-in-all, it wasn’t that bad.”
“Well, I’m happy for you, David.” Burt could almost see the joy oozing from his son’s every pore.
“Um, can we go to my room, dad? Just for a little while?” Kurt was pulling Dave by the hand ever so lightly, wanting to get him downstairs immediately.
“I know its late, Mr. Hummel. Ten minutes, max, I promise.” Dave pulled his hand back slightly, not wanting to appear too eager in front of Kurt’s father.
“You can have twenty. Then its goodnight. It was nice to see you again, David.”
They reached the bottom of the stairs and were making out on Kurt’s bed in record time.
“This is so incredible. Tell me what happened.” Kurt didn’t want to stop kissing Dave but he really wanted to hear the story.
“It just clicked, Baby. It just finally all came together.” Dave wrapped his arm underneath Kurt and pulled him close. “Before today I honestly could not imagine telling my parents I was gay. I was so afraid of what their reaction might have been. Yelling, fighting, kicking me out. It was over-whelming to think about. I didn’t want to hurt them. I didn’t want to disappoint them. So I never could figure out a way to say it. I was terrified.” Dave propped himself up on his elbow and studied his boyfriend’s angelic face. “Then today, this afternoon, I just realized that its not about them. I mean, I still didn’t want to hurt them intentionally, you know, but for me to be happy, really truly happy, I had to just say it….say it, and let them think and do what they wanted to. The pressure was off me trying to please them.”
“Wow. That’s just so. Wow.” Kurt started to tear up and Dave leaned in to kiss him again.
“So. I have a question.” Dave pulled back from Kurt slightly and suddenly felt a small pang of nervousness. “Can I take you to prom?”
“EEECK!” Kurt closed the few inches that separated their bodies with a tight hug. “Yes, yes, yes! Of course, a million times Yes!”
“Good.” Dave relaxed. Kurt kissed his boyfriend even more enthusiastically. “I know you have Family Night tomorrow so I asked Blaine to help me pick out a tux. He told me about the limo and dinner at Matteo’s. It’ll be like, a group thing.” Dave paused, trying to make sure he didn’t upset Kurt. “I’m not totally sure about the whole ‘coming out at school’ thing. But I know how important Saturday night will be for you and I want to be there.” Dave felt a mix of nervousness and anxiety as he considered the idea of coming out to the entire student population. That may have to wait, he thought. “Worst case scenario, we can duck out together and do some private dancing of our own.”
Kurt tried not to be disappointed that Dave wasn’t ready for everyone at McKinley High to know. He just savored this feeling. His boyfriend, that he loved very much, was making real, wonderful, progress and he couldn’t be more proud.
“I love you, David.”
“I love you too, Peaches.”
The next day at school, Dave and Kurt’s moments in the hall where definitely different. Instead of the usual quick glance and nod, Dave locked his eyes on Kurt’s sweet smile as soon as they entered the same hallway. He held that stare as they walked towards each other and just as they were about to pass, Dave licked his lower lip, bit it gently and smiled. Kurt got an immediate erection. Fuck, he thought, laughing to himself, at this rate I will walk around school with a permanent hard-on once Dave comes out completely.
Between 3rd and 4th period, Dave actually grabbed and squeezed Kurt’s hand for a split second as they passed by each other. Kurt’s brain had turned to mush.
Lunch was disappointing though. Finn took the empty seat next to Kurt and Mercedes, not sure how they had beaten him through the line. Puck, Santana, Brittany and Artie joined the table. By the time Dave got through the line, Rachel, Tina and Mike had joined as well and the table was full. He had to find another table to sit at to avoid an awkward ‘hey, everybody scoot over so Dave can sit next to Kurt…’
Dave found a seat next to the moron Neil and ate his lunch quietly, keeping an eye on Kurt’s shoulder, hoping he’d turn around so they could reconnect again.
“So, is that Columbus chick coming to prom, or what, Karofsky?” Damn, Dave thought, what is the matter with this dude.
“No. She couldn’t make it.”
“Who couldn’t make what?” Jay asked as he took an empty seat.
“Haha. Karofsky’s going stag to prom, like a loser. A fucking gay loser.” Dave wanted to punch the crap out of that kid.
Dave stood and reached for his tray. “No, actually, I’m not, dickwad. I’m taking someone. Why don’t you go fuck yourself?”
As Dave walked away, he heard Jay shouting after him, “Who is she, Karofsky? Come on, don’t leave us in suspense.” Jay continued laughing as more jock idiots joined his table. Dave found an empty seat across the lunch room, even further away from Kurt than before. He reached in his pocket for his phone and shot a quick text.
if blaine pays 4 limo, that means i pay4 hotel, rite?
Dave could barely make out Kurt’s stunned expression from across the cafeteria. But he knew exactly what it looked like.
Dave and Blaine were working their way through the selection of tuxes.
“So, what color should I get? Like, if I wanted to match Kurt?” Dave wasn’t sure exactly how this was done and he was glad Blaine could help.
“Well, I wouldn’t go for matching colors, per se. I would recommend a contrast. Let’s see here.” Blaine was perusing the racks of vests, ties and cummerbunds. He held a dark blue necktie up next to Dave’s face. “This is a good color for you. I’ll show you the tux style that Kurt is wearing. I think if you had a similar jacket but with a different colored vest and tie, that would be really hot.”
The store clerk measured Dave for size and Blaine helped him pick out the right jacket. Staring at himself in the mirror, Dave had to admit, that douchebag Jay was right. He looked pretty damn good in this monkey suit. He knew Kurt wouldn’t be able to resist him.
They left the store, tux in hand and walked to Blaine’s SUV. Sitting in the parking lot, Blaine showed Dave what songs he thought would go well.
“I brought a personal favorite by Cole Porter. A couple Nat King Cole ones, he’s an old crooner, really romantic stuff and I think you know this song by Michael Bublé.” They listed to each song and Dave tried to sing a few verses. He was suddenly feeling nervous and thinking maybe this was a bad idea.
“Relax. You’ll do great.” Blaine encouraged. “Singing is sexy, even if you flub up a bit, Kurt will absolutely love it.
“Thanks, dude.” Dave relaxed and smiled. He put the cds in his pocket and folded the song lyrics in his hand. “Guess I’ll see you Saturday.”
The house was quiet when Dave got home. It was late. He made his way to his room and texted Kurt.
rlly wish i could taste u rite now
mmm, sleeping. but sounds wonderful
Dave undressed and climbed into bed. He turned off the light as his phone vibrated once more.
were u serious bout hotel?
deadly