Valentine's Day, Ch 8.....Awakening
“And he’s like that all the time. I don’t know why he’s holding back, I don’t know if he even wants to be with me.” Mercedes was unloading on Kurt. It seemed that Anthony hadn’t said ‘I love you’ or made any move to get closer to her since they started seeing each other four months ago. “I’m not gonna open myself up to a guy who can’t be real and tell me how he feels. But then I worry that if I push him, he’ll break up with me.”
“I wouldn’t suggest pushing him. Ultimatums are very dangerous things.” Kurt knew this first hand. Never push or force someone you love to do something they must, no matter how much it would mean to you.
“But sometimes he acts like we’re just friends. I don’t need another friend. I need a damn boyfriend.” Mercedes reached her locker as they continued their brief conversation before class. “What if he doesn’t ask me to prom?”
Prom. The word sent instant butterflies into Kurt’s stomach. Finally having a boyfriend was exhilarating but having a boyfriend that was still in the closet was difficult, to say the least. Especially now. Prom was exactly four weeks away. One of those weeks would be spent in South Beach with Blaine. But every time the “P” word was said at school, Kurt’s heart jumped. What would happen? Was Dave going to come out? Would he ask Kurt to be his date? Would the school, Dave’s parents and the whole world finally know that they were together, in love and happy?
“What do you think? Kurt?” Mercedes question snapped Kurt out of his musings.
“I’m sorry, um, what?” The bell rang. “Damn, sorry, Mercedes, let’s talk more at lunch.” Kurt turned and stepped into first period.
The chatter in the locker room was louder than usual. It was the last Friday before spring break and most boys were discussing their vacation plans. Dave quietly stood at his locker and began to change for PE.
“I tell you what, Prom is like crack to these girls.” Jay was talking to a few boys at the end of Dave’s row of lockers. “They have the dress and the flowers and the dancing. And then they see us in that fucking monkey-suit and I swear, there’s not a ruffie in the world better than that.”
A few more boys joined in listening to Jay’s theories. “There’s nothing easier than banging a girl on prom night, guys. Just toss that skirt over her head and watch her legs spread….hahaha!”
Dave glanced over and caught Jay’s eyes. “Am I right, Karofsky? You got a girlfriend, don’t you?” The group of boys waited for Dave’s response. “All ya gotta do is get ‘em to prom, man. Easy as fuck. And I mean fuck, hahaha.”
“You got a girlfriend, Karofsky?” Neil asked. “Or are you going stag to prom?”
“Aww, stag is gay…” another boy chimed in.
“Yeah, so gay! Who wants to stand around with a bunch of dudes when there are hot girls willing to give it up, right?” Jay answered. “Homos go stag cause they, well, they kind of have to…hahaha. Who else would go with them???”
“So, you taking somebody to prom, Karofsky?” Yet another boy asked. Dave was wondering how this juvenile conversation had suddenly centered on him. “You got a girlfriend, or not?”
“Of course I do….” Dave heard himself lie. His heart was beating and he was doing everything he could to keep his voice steady. “Um, her name’s Amy. We met in Columbus.” This was ok, he thought to himself, this could work…just a little lie and they’ll get off my back.
“Columbus? But is she coming to prom, dude?” Why wouldn’t Jay just let this drop?
“Um, I don’t know exactly, I haven’t asked.” Dave shut his locker and turned to see the expectant looks on the faces of the five boys standing there. He hesitated. He needed to think quickly, this interrogation needed to stop. “But yeah! Man, I know she’ll come. And when she does, you’re right, Jay. Its all backseat bump and grind until the sun comes up!”
Laughter and cheers of agreement erupted from the group. Dave smiled on the outside but inside he felt like shit. That was the stupidest thing you’ve done since taking a swing at Sam, he thought to himself. But it doesn’t matter, at least he got the group of immature dorks to shut up. He watched as they made their way out the door and bent down to tie his shoes.
Just then Finn stepped from behind the next row of lockers. “Really? Dude?” Finn’s look of absolute disappointment cut Dave to the bone. “Really?”
“Man, I didn’t know you were in here. I just, I just had to say something to shut those stupid jerks up.” Dave tried to wiggle and backpedal but Finn didn’t budge. Dave leaned closer and whispered. “I shouldn’t have said that. Don’t tell Kurt. Please….Hudson, don’t tell Kurt.”
“You’ve got to figure your shit out, man.” Finn slowly shook his head in disgust. “I can’t let you keep hurting him. He deserves better than that.”
Fuck, Dave thought as walked through the halls on his way to class. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He’d just passed Kurt in the hall and was still so pissed with himself, he’d missed their special nod/smile tradition. Now Kurt is going to know something is up. Fuck. ‘Figure your shit out, man….’ that’s what Finn had said.
Dave wished he knew how.
Kurt was packed and ready to go. He’d never been on an airplane. Never been to Florida. And never been away from Dave for more than four days. This trip was eight. Worse than that, Dave couldn’t come over to say goodbye in person. They had texted earlier but Dave had family stuff going on. Kurt couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Dave was distracted at school. Kurt told himself it was just Dave being nervous about how much he’d miss his boyfriend for spring break.
Blaine’s father’s car pulled into the driveway and Kurt said his goodbyes to his dad and Carole. “Where’s Finn?” Kurt realized he hadn’t seen him since they’d gotten home from school.
“Oh, he’s in his room, I guess.” Carole answered.
Burt opened the door for Blaine and those gathered said their hellos.
“I’m sorry.” Kurt said. “Um, its just these two bags. I need to say goodbye to Finn. Be right back.”
Kurt knocked softly on Finn’s door and waited.
“Yeah?”
“Hey. Blaine’s here. I just wanted to say bye.”
Finn paused the video game he was playing and looked at his step-brother. He didn’t speak.
“Finn? Um, you’re freaking me out.” Kurt took a step into the room and waited. “What is going on?”
“Nothing. I just.” Finn sighed and tossed the controller on the ground. “Nothing. Have fun in Florida.” He attempted a smile. But Kurt knew better.
“Ok, spill. I am not getting on any airplane, no matter where it’s planning to take me until you tell me what is up. Seriously.” Kurt sat on the edge of Finn’s bed and crossed his arms.
Finn shook his head and sighed again. “I just think you deserve better.” Finn studied the paused image on his TV screen. “I know you think Dave is great, and I’m sure he is when you’re together but….you know, I see him when you’re not.”
Kurt held his breath. And waited. Did he want to ask any more questions? Did he want to know what happened or what Finn saw or what Finn knew? Did Finn know why Dave seemed distracted at school today? As much as this was beginning to eat at him, he realized he didn’t want to know. Not now. He was about to spend a week away from his boyfriend and doubts about the stability of that relationship would only ruin his vacation.
Kurt heard a car honk and Blaine shout from the front of the house. “Hey, Rocketman, its time to go….”
“Thanks. Um, I have to leave. Um, maybe we can talk when I get back…?” Kurt stood and turned to the door.
“I don’t want to see you get hurt, that’s all, brother. Have fun in Florida. Sorry for the sucky mood I just set.”
Kurt turned back and smiled. “What would I do if I didn’t have you as my big brother and protector. If anything close to heartbreak transpires between David and I, I am confident you will be the first to pummel him into smithereens.”
Kurt looked back towards the house as the car pulled away. He could see Finn’s silhouette standing at his bedroom window. Whatever Finn knew, or thought, it didn’t matter right now. He and Dave were ok. Florida was going to be unbelievable. And when he got back…things would be fine. Just fine.
Kurt had spoken to Dave on the phone every night of his vacation. There was nothing wrong, no sense of anything out of place during any of their conversations. Kurt began to think Finn was mistaken or maybe just over-protective for some reason. It didn’t matter. Things were great. One marvelous and unexpected result of their time away from each other….they stumbled upon phone sex. Steamy, sexy conversations, tons of heavy breathing and mutual release helped them stay connected during the last several days of spring break. And Dave still whispered ‘I love you’ at the end of every call. Things were fine.
“Does your brother have a boyfriend?” Rachel stood with one hand on her hip at Finn’s locker. Just when he thought this Monday might turn out alright. Damn.
“What are you talking about? No, don’t you think I’d know if he did?” Finn lied his best lie and began walking towards class. Rachel was on his heels.
“Well of course you would know, that’s why I’m asking you. Marianne said she heard Kurt and Mercedes in the lunchroom talking about a boyfriend. Its just that he denies it and there’s no proof really. I mean, I can’t imagine Kurt of all people having a relationship and not screaming through the public address system the first chance he got that he had finally found true love.”
“Who said anything about it being true?” Finn stopped short and spun around to look at Rachel. The anger in his voice started her.
“Omg, he does. Kurt has a boyfriend and you know about it…..” Rachel was shocked. How could this have happened and she be kept out of the loop. “Who is it? Its Blaine. I know it. He swore he wasn’t dating Blaine but I knew he had something up his sleeve. He’s just been too happy, too content, too blissful. You have to tell me, Finn, you have to tell me who it is. Its Blaine, right? He and Blaine are free to date now that we’re heading to Nationals and they aren’t. Why would he want to keep that a secret any longer?”
Rachel’s persistent chatter was driving Finn crazy. “Can you please stop?!” Finn stopped walking again and looked down into his incessantly chatty girlfriend’s eyes. “Not Blaine. Ok. Someone else. But he’s not out. Ok? Stop asking me. I can’t tell you.”
“What? Someone at this school?” Rachel whispered so loudly, it sounded more like a hiss.
“Stop asking. Please.” There was no ‘please’ in Finn’s voice. The bell rang and they took their seats in class.
“I’m rather disappointed with you, Kurt. I thought we were closer than that.” Rachel cornered Kurt after their class together.
“What are you talking about?” Kurt’s stomach sank. Did Finn spill to Rachel. Dear gaga, this would be bad.
“As you know, I have two gay fathers. And I have heard their stories of coming out told and retold to me since I was a little girl.” She smiled and relaxed her stance. “I don’t know who it is. Finn did not give you up. But I just want you to know that I’m a friend. I’m here for you as a friend who understands the magnitude of what your boyfriend is about to do. I know this must be hard for you and I want you to feel like you can trust me. I would never even consider outing someone. Whether friend or enemy, a person’s decision to announce to the world that they’re gay is momentous and not to be taken lightly by others. I wish him the best. And of course I wish you all the happiness you deserve.” She smiled, placed her hand on Kurt’s arm and searched his eyes. “I’m here, as a friend, who understands.”
“That was probably the kindest and most sensible ranting you have ever made, Rachel Berry.” Kurt relaxed and returned the smile. “Thank you for your understanding. I will convey your good wishes to my boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend?” Mike asked, puzzled. Kurt and Rachel had stepped out into the hallway and into the path of Mike Chang.
“Good gawd, will this never end?” Kurt rubbed his forehead and said his goodbyes to Rachel. He looked at Mike and sighed. “No, Mike. Sorry, you heard that out of context. Um, I don’t….I mean, I wish I did…” Kurt stammered. “I wish I could tell you that I had a boyfriend. But I can’t. I don’t. I gotta get to class. See you in glee club.”
Later at lunch, Dave made his way through the cafeteria. He spotted Finn sitting alone and decided to take his chances. He had been wanting to apologize for a couple weeks since the stupid locker room prom thing happened.
“Hey, Hudson, can I sit down?” Dave had a serious, almost sad look in his eyes. Finn nodded. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for what I said. And you were right. Kurt deserves someone better.” Finn looked up from his lunch. Dave hesitated and smiled slightly. “I’m going to be better. I’m going to make this happen. I’m going to be the guy he can proud of.”
“Ok. Then do it. Stop talking about it. Just do it.” Finn softened but still didn’t understand why it was taking so long.
“I’m trying, I’m working on it. I just need a little….”
“Hey guys, whassup?” Puck, Artie and Mike joined the table.
“But, Artie? Have you officially asked Brittany to prom?” Puck and Artie discussed briefly the need for an official invite as well as the manner in which he had planned to ask. “These chicks, they need that. Prom is like everything to these girls. I know what Santana needs…..huh huh, and I provide.” Puck smirked at his table mates.
“Hey, I heard Kurt has a boyfriend. Do you think he’ll be asking him to prom? Or will he wait for his dude to ask him?” Mike chuckled and looked around the group of guys seated with him.
“Yo, Finn? Your step-brother has a boyfriend?” Puck raised his eyebrows at his buddy. “When did that happen?”
“No. He doesn’t.” Finn stuttered, “He just….he wants one, but he’s not in a…a real re….he doesn’t have a boyfriend.”
“Whatever. Guess Kurt’s been spending too much time day-dreaming then.” Puck laughed. “Hey Karofsky, what about you? What hot chick do you have your eyes on for prom, huh?”
“Yeah, Karofsky. There’s gotta be a hot cheerleader uniform around here you can’t keep your eyes off of.” Mike chimed in.
“Yeah, tell us and we’ll make sure to put in a good word, if we can, that is…” Artie said, trying to be helpful.
Dave tossed his pizza crust onto his plate, shot Finn a look of heart-wrenching misery mixed with disappointment and stood up. “Sorry. Don’t wanna play truth or dare, fellas. I thought we outgrew those stupid games in 5th grade.” With that Dave grabbed his plate off the table, walked to the trash can, tossed it and left the cafeteria.
Finn understood. He finally got it. Its not something you can work into conversation. Its not something you can casually announce. Finn remembered his struggles with accepting Kurt as his step-brother and he felt bad for Dave. He could see that he was trying. He just needed a little more time.
“What was that about?” Artie asked on behalf of the whole table.
“Oh, he probably just feels bad.” Finn tried to let it blow over. He thought he could finally understand the fear that Dave most likely dealt with on a daily basis. “He doesn’t have a girlfriend. So he’ll probably go to prom alone.” That response satisfied the others.
Friday night. Family Night. Dave had been invited again. He and Kurt’s family sat around the room organizing their respective scrabble tiles and laying out their words. It was Dave’s turn. He rearranged the seven letters into different options and looked again at the board. His heart about stopped. He counted it out again. He smiled broadly and winked at Kurt.
“Using your ‘A’ here, and…..this ‘G’ here….I can place all my tiles in between them and spell ‘awakening.’ Dave straightened the tiles and enjoyed the sighs of frustration from his opponents.
“How did you manage that, Karofsky? You haven’t put a word down with more than three letters this whole game.”
“Sorry, Hudson, it just worked out. I had the tiles.” Dave grinned and counted out the points. “What’s the bonus for using all your tiles?”
“You know exactly what the bonus is. I got that bonus two rounds ago.” Kurt was leering at his boyfriend. He was having a difficult time accepting the fact that Dave was beating him at his own game.
Dave leaned into Kurt and pressed their foreheads together. “Are you gonna wanna break up with me if I beat you at scrabble?” Dave smiled wickedly and kissed Kurt’s nose.
“No….maybe…..undecided. Just watch yourself, ok?” Kurt tried to keep a stern face but smiled anyway.
“Ok.”
Kurt’s phone started buzzing in his pocket. Burt rolled his eyes, “Oh, come on, Kurt, no cellphones on Family Night.”
“It’s Mercedes. Let me just tell her I’ll call her back later.” Kurt put the phone to his ear. “Hey, Love, I’m in the middle of….What?” All eyes settled on Kurt’s look of shock. “Oh, no, no….uh huh. I’m sorry….oh dear lord, no…..that’s awful.”
Carole tapped the table to get Kurt’s attention. “Hey, mister….we got a game going here….”
Kurt placed the phone in the palm of his hand and spoke quietly, “I’m sorry guys. Mercedes’ boyfriend just broke up with her. A week before prom. She’s devastated. I need to let her talk. Uh huh, I’m here,” Kurt said into the phone. “You can keep playing, I wasn’t going to win anyway, apparently.” Kurt smiled at Dave and got up from the couch. He continued the conversation with Mercedes in the kitchen.
“So, how’s Mercedes?” Dave and Kurt were alone, finally, in Kurt’s room. They snuggled on the bed in their usual position….with Dave’s hand exploring the babysoft skin of Kurt’s ass.
“She’s pretty tore up. Poor thing. They had actually gone shopping tonight to buy a vest that would match her dress.” Kurt wasn’t enjoying the feel of Dave’s hands on his skin as he usually did. He was preoccupied with concern for his friend. And something else.
“Is she still going to go? To prom, I mean? Without Anthony?” Dave was only mildly interested in the situation. He was more interested in further access to Kurt’s rear end.
“I think so. She’s actually going to call Blaine.”
“Blaine?” Dave looked up puzzled.
“Yeah, they’ve become pretty good friends. I mean, when we do stuff together, I’m always there and we have fun.” Kurt readjusted himself slightly on the bed, putting a stop to Dave’s roaming fingers. “Dalton Academy doesn’t have a prom. Blaine had mentioned a couple weeks ago how much he’d like to go. He was thinking about crashing, actually.”
“So, Mercedes, who was just dumped by her boyfriend, is taking your best friend, Blaine, who is openly gay, to McKinley High School prom….?” Dave processed the information.
“Yes.” Kurt sat up and pulled away from Dave’s reach. “And I am going stag. Life is just full of all sorts of lovely screw ups, isn’t it?”
“Baby. Don’t, I’m sorry.” Dave sat up next to Kurt and wrapped his arm around him. Kurt bristled.
“No, Dave. I’m sorry. I spent over an hour on the phone tonight with my very close friend. Helping her through her breakup with a guy who didn’t appreciate her, didn’t respect her and didn’t take her needs seriously. We talked and we cried and I helped her realize that she deserves better. She deserves to be happy and she’s the only one in control of that. Now she has a backup plan for prom. And all the while I’m here, with nothing. No date, and no plan.” Kurt could feel the hot tears burning his face as they fell. “I can’t be your plaything tonight. I can’t pretend that this isn’t killing me.”
“Sweetness, I’m sorry. Please. Look at me.” Kurt’s eyes were shut and his face was turned away. Dave wiped the tears gently from his cheeks. He held Kurt’s hand in his and softly kissed the back of it. “I love you. I respect you. I am taking your needs seriously. I’m almost there. Baby, I’m sorry.”
“I want to be alone. Let me have my weekend, please, alone.” Kurt stood and walked towards the stairs. Dave followed.
Kurt allowed Dave to kiss the back of his hand once more as they stood on the front porch. “Goodnight.” Kurt said quietly.
“Goodnight, Darling. I’ll see you Monday.” And with that Dave walked towards his car.
Kurt walked straight to Finns’ room and knocked lightly.
Once inside and seated uneasily on Finn’s bed, Kurt sighed deeply and asked, “What happened that I need to know about?”
Finn told Kurt about the exchange in the locker room. But he also told Kurt about the discussion at lunch that one day last week. They talked. Finn tried to explain to Kurt what it would mean to a jock, to an athlete, to a ‘regular’ guy to come out. Being feminine and having the whole school assume you’re gay is all Kurt remembers. Finn was a jock. Finn could explain the locker room banter and the lunch room table talk.
“He is trying. I can tell. It might not be your picture perfect prom. But Dave is in love with you.” Finn gave his brother a half smile and shrugged his shoulders. “You can dance with him here. You can go out on the town in another town. You can share boyfriend things with him. Just not at prom.”
Kurt wiped the tears from his cheeks and sighed deeply. “I just really thought it was gonna happen. You know?”
“I know. And I’m sorry it didn’t.” The boys stood and Finn held out his arms in invitation for a hug.
“Thanks, I think you’re finally getting the hang of this brotherly stuff, you know.” Kurt chuckled and sniffled and left Finn’s room.
The weekend blew past in a rush. It was Tuesday already and Kurt and Dave hadn’t really spoken. Dave had sent a few text messages and Kurt replied. Kurt was on edge. Dave was terrified.
loving you, still
i know, ily 2. need time 2 thnk
i’m trying
i know. me 2
That Tuesday when he got home from school Dave made a decision. Today would be the day. He was ready to tell his parents.
“I wouldn’t suggest pushing him. Ultimatums are very dangerous things.” Kurt knew this first hand. Never push or force someone you love to do something they must, no matter how much it would mean to you.
“But sometimes he acts like we’re just friends. I don’t need another friend. I need a damn boyfriend.” Mercedes reached her locker as they continued their brief conversation before class. “What if he doesn’t ask me to prom?”
Prom. The word sent instant butterflies into Kurt’s stomach. Finally having a boyfriend was exhilarating but having a boyfriend that was still in the closet was difficult, to say the least. Especially now. Prom was exactly four weeks away. One of those weeks would be spent in South Beach with Blaine. But every time the “P” word was said at school, Kurt’s heart jumped. What would happen? Was Dave going to come out? Would he ask Kurt to be his date? Would the school, Dave’s parents and the whole world finally know that they were together, in love and happy?
“What do you think? Kurt?” Mercedes question snapped Kurt out of his musings.
“I’m sorry, um, what?” The bell rang. “Damn, sorry, Mercedes, let’s talk more at lunch.” Kurt turned and stepped into first period.
The chatter in the locker room was louder than usual. It was the last Friday before spring break and most boys were discussing their vacation plans. Dave quietly stood at his locker and began to change for PE.
“I tell you what, Prom is like crack to these girls.” Jay was talking to a few boys at the end of Dave’s row of lockers. “They have the dress and the flowers and the dancing. And then they see us in that fucking monkey-suit and I swear, there’s not a ruffie in the world better than that.”
A few more boys joined in listening to Jay’s theories. “There’s nothing easier than banging a girl on prom night, guys. Just toss that skirt over her head and watch her legs spread….hahaha!”
Dave glanced over and caught Jay’s eyes. “Am I right, Karofsky? You got a girlfriend, don’t you?” The group of boys waited for Dave’s response. “All ya gotta do is get ‘em to prom, man. Easy as fuck. And I mean fuck, hahaha.”
“You got a girlfriend, Karofsky?” Neil asked. “Or are you going stag to prom?”
“Aww, stag is gay…” another boy chimed in.
“Yeah, so gay! Who wants to stand around with a bunch of dudes when there are hot girls willing to give it up, right?” Jay answered. “Homos go stag cause they, well, they kind of have to…hahaha. Who else would go with them???”
“So, you taking somebody to prom, Karofsky?” Yet another boy asked. Dave was wondering how this juvenile conversation had suddenly centered on him. “You got a girlfriend, or not?”
“Of course I do….” Dave heard himself lie. His heart was beating and he was doing everything he could to keep his voice steady. “Um, her name’s Amy. We met in Columbus.” This was ok, he thought to himself, this could work…just a little lie and they’ll get off my back.
“Columbus? But is she coming to prom, dude?” Why wouldn’t Jay just let this drop?
“Um, I don’t know exactly, I haven’t asked.” Dave shut his locker and turned to see the expectant looks on the faces of the five boys standing there. He hesitated. He needed to think quickly, this interrogation needed to stop. “But yeah! Man, I know she’ll come. And when she does, you’re right, Jay. Its all backseat bump and grind until the sun comes up!”
Laughter and cheers of agreement erupted from the group. Dave smiled on the outside but inside he felt like shit. That was the stupidest thing you’ve done since taking a swing at Sam, he thought to himself. But it doesn’t matter, at least he got the group of immature dorks to shut up. He watched as they made their way out the door and bent down to tie his shoes.
Just then Finn stepped from behind the next row of lockers. “Really? Dude?” Finn’s look of absolute disappointment cut Dave to the bone. “Really?”
“Man, I didn’t know you were in here. I just, I just had to say something to shut those stupid jerks up.” Dave tried to wiggle and backpedal but Finn didn’t budge. Dave leaned closer and whispered. “I shouldn’t have said that. Don’t tell Kurt. Please….Hudson, don’t tell Kurt.”
“You’ve got to figure your shit out, man.” Finn slowly shook his head in disgust. “I can’t let you keep hurting him. He deserves better than that.”
Fuck, Dave thought as walked through the halls on his way to class. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He’d just passed Kurt in the hall and was still so pissed with himself, he’d missed their special nod/smile tradition. Now Kurt is going to know something is up. Fuck. ‘Figure your shit out, man….’ that’s what Finn had said.
Dave wished he knew how.
Kurt was packed and ready to go. He’d never been on an airplane. Never been to Florida. And never been away from Dave for more than four days. This trip was eight. Worse than that, Dave couldn’t come over to say goodbye in person. They had texted earlier but Dave had family stuff going on. Kurt couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Dave was distracted at school. Kurt told himself it was just Dave being nervous about how much he’d miss his boyfriend for spring break.
Blaine’s father’s car pulled into the driveway and Kurt said his goodbyes to his dad and Carole. “Where’s Finn?” Kurt realized he hadn’t seen him since they’d gotten home from school.
“Oh, he’s in his room, I guess.” Carole answered.
Burt opened the door for Blaine and those gathered said their hellos.
“I’m sorry.” Kurt said. “Um, its just these two bags. I need to say goodbye to Finn. Be right back.”
Kurt knocked softly on Finn’s door and waited.
“Yeah?”
“Hey. Blaine’s here. I just wanted to say bye.”
Finn paused the video game he was playing and looked at his step-brother. He didn’t speak.
“Finn? Um, you’re freaking me out.” Kurt took a step into the room and waited. “What is going on?”
“Nothing. I just.” Finn sighed and tossed the controller on the ground. “Nothing. Have fun in Florida.” He attempted a smile. But Kurt knew better.
“Ok, spill. I am not getting on any airplane, no matter where it’s planning to take me until you tell me what is up. Seriously.” Kurt sat on the edge of Finn’s bed and crossed his arms.
Finn shook his head and sighed again. “I just think you deserve better.” Finn studied the paused image on his TV screen. “I know you think Dave is great, and I’m sure he is when you’re together but….you know, I see him when you’re not.”
Kurt held his breath. And waited. Did he want to ask any more questions? Did he want to know what happened or what Finn saw or what Finn knew? Did Finn know why Dave seemed distracted at school today? As much as this was beginning to eat at him, he realized he didn’t want to know. Not now. He was about to spend a week away from his boyfriend and doubts about the stability of that relationship would only ruin his vacation.
Kurt heard a car honk and Blaine shout from the front of the house. “Hey, Rocketman, its time to go….”
“Thanks. Um, I have to leave. Um, maybe we can talk when I get back…?” Kurt stood and turned to the door.
“I don’t want to see you get hurt, that’s all, brother. Have fun in Florida. Sorry for the sucky mood I just set.”
Kurt turned back and smiled. “What would I do if I didn’t have you as my big brother and protector. If anything close to heartbreak transpires between David and I, I am confident you will be the first to pummel him into smithereens.”
Kurt looked back towards the house as the car pulled away. He could see Finn’s silhouette standing at his bedroom window. Whatever Finn knew, or thought, it didn’t matter right now. He and Dave were ok. Florida was going to be unbelievable. And when he got back…things would be fine. Just fine.
Kurt had spoken to Dave on the phone every night of his vacation. There was nothing wrong, no sense of anything out of place during any of their conversations. Kurt began to think Finn was mistaken or maybe just over-protective for some reason. It didn’t matter. Things were great. One marvelous and unexpected result of their time away from each other….they stumbled upon phone sex. Steamy, sexy conversations, tons of heavy breathing and mutual release helped them stay connected during the last several days of spring break. And Dave still whispered ‘I love you’ at the end of every call. Things were fine.
“Does your brother have a boyfriend?” Rachel stood with one hand on her hip at Finn’s locker. Just when he thought this Monday might turn out alright. Damn.
“What are you talking about? No, don’t you think I’d know if he did?” Finn lied his best lie and began walking towards class. Rachel was on his heels.
“Well of course you would know, that’s why I’m asking you. Marianne said she heard Kurt and Mercedes in the lunchroom talking about a boyfriend. Its just that he denies it and there’s no proof really. I mean, I can’t imagine Kurt of all people having a relationship and not screaming through the public address system the first chance he got that he had finally found true love.”
“Who said anything about it being true?” Finn stopped short and spun around to look at Rachel. The anger in his voice started her.
“Omg, he does. Kurt has a boyfriend and you know about it…..” Rachel was shocked. How could this have happened and she be kept out of the loop. “Who is it? Its Blaine. I know it. He swore he wasn’t dating Blaine but I knew he had something up his sleeve. He’s just been too happy, too content, too blissful. You have to tell me, Finn, you have to tell me who it is. Its Blaine, right? He and Blaine are free to date now that we’re heading to Nationals and they aren’t. Why would he want to keep that a secret any longer?”
Rachel’s persistent chatter was driving Finn crazy. “Can you please stop?!” Finn stopped walking again and looked down into his incessantly chatty girlfriend’s eyes. “Not Blaine. Ok. Someone else. But he’s not out. Ok? Stop asking me. I can’t tell you.”
“What? Someone at this school?” Rachel whispered so loudly, it sounded more like a hiss.
“Stop asking. Please.” There was no ‘please’ in Finn’s voice. The bell rang and they took their seats in class.
“I’m rather disappointed with you, Kurt. I thought we were closer than that.” Rachel cornered Kurt after their class together.
“What are you talking about?” Kurt’s stomach sank. Did Finn spill to Rachel. Dear gaga, this would be bad.
“As you know, I have two gay fathers. And I have heard their stories of coming out told and retold to me since I was a little girl.” She smiled and relaxed her stance. “I don’t know who it is. Finn did not give you up. But I just want you to know that I’m a friend. I’m here for you as a friend who understands the magnitude of what your boyfriend is about to do. I know this must be hard for you and I want you to feel like you can trust me. I would never even consider outing someone. Whether friend or enemy, a person’s decision to announce to the world that they’re gay is momentous and not to be taken lightly by others. I wish him the best. And of course I wish you all the happiness you deserve.” She smiled, placed her hand on Kurt’s arm and searched his eyes. “I’m here, as a friend, who understands.”
“That was probably the kindest and most sensible ranting you have ever made, Rachel Berry.” Kurt relaxed and returned the smile. “Thank you for your understanding. I will convey your good wishes to my boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend?” Mike asked, puzzled. Kurt and Rachel had stepped out into the hallway and into the path of Mike Chang.
“Good gawd, will this never end?” Kurt rubbed his forehead and said his goodbyes to Rachel. He looked at Mike and sighed. “No, Mike. Sorry, you heard that out of context. Um, I don’t….I mean, I wish I did…” Kurt stammered. “I wish I could tell you that I had a boyfriend. But I can’t. I don’t. I gotta get to class. See you in glee club.”
Later at lunch, Dave made his way through the cafeteria. He spotted Finn sitting alone and decided to take his chances. He had been wanting to apologize for a couple weeks since the stupid locker room prom thing happened.
“Hey, Hudson, can I sit down?” Dave had a serious, almost sad look in his eyes. Finn nodded. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for what I said. And you were right. Kurt deserves someone better.” Finn looked up from his lunch. Dave hesitated and smiled slightly. “I’m going to be better. I’m going to make this happen. I’m going to be the guy he can proud of.”
“Ok. Then do it. Stop talking about it. Just do it.” Finn softened but still didn’t understand why it was taking so long.
“I’m trying, I’m working on it. I just need a little….”
“Hey guys, whassup?” Puck, Artie and Mike joined the table.
“But, Artie? Have you officially asked Brittany to prom?” Puck and Artie discussed briefly the need for an official invite as well as the manner in which he had planned to ask. “These chicks, they need that. Prom is like everything to these girls. I know what Santana needs…..huh huh, and I provide.” Puck smirked at his table mates.
“Hey, I heard Kurt has a boyfriend. Do you think he’ll be asking him to prom? Or will he wait for his dude to ask him?” Mike chuckled and looked around the group of guys seated with him.
“Yo, Finn? Your step-brother has a boyfriend?” Puck raised his eyebrows at his buddy. “When did that happen?”
“No. He doesn’t.” Finn stuttered, “He just….he wants one, but he’s not in a…a real re….he doesn’t have a boyfriend.”
“Whatever. Guess Kurt’s been spending too much time day-dreaming then.” Puck laughed. “Hey Karofsky, what about you? What hot chick do you have your eyes on for prom, huh?”
“Yeah, Karofsky. There’s gotta be a hot cheerleader uniform around here you can’t keep your eyes off of.” Mike chimed in.
“Yeah, tell us and we’ll make sure to put in a good word, if we can, that is…” Artie said, trying to be helpful.
Dave tossed his pizza crust onto his plate, shot Finn a look of heart-wrenching misery mixed with disappointment and stood up. “Sorry. Don’t wanna play truth or dare, fellas. I thought we outgrew those stupid games in 5th grade.” With that Dave grabbed his plate off the table, walked to the trash can, tossed it and left the cafeteria.
Finn understood. He finally got it. Its not something you can work into conversation. Its not something you can casually announce. Finn remembered his struggles with accepting Kurt as his step-brother and he felt bad for Dave. He could see that he was trying. He just needed a little more time.
“What was that about?” Artie asked on behalf of the whole table.
“Oh, he probably just feels bad.” Finn tried to let it blow over. He thought he could finally understand the fear that Dave most likely dealt with on a daily basis. “He doesn’t have a girlfriend. So he’ll probably go to prom alone.” That response satisfied the others.
Friday night. Family Night. Dave had been invited again. He and Kurt’s family sat around the room organizing their respective scrabble tiles and laying out their words. It was Dave’s turn. He rearranged the seven letters into different options and looked again at the board. His heart about stopped. He counted it out again. He smiled broadly and winked at Kurt.
“Using your ‘A’ here, and…..this ‘G’ here….I can place all my tiles in between them and spell ‘awakening.’ Dave straightened the tiles and enjoyed the sighs of frustration from his opponents.
“How did you manage that, Karofsky? You haven’t put a word down with more than three letters this whole game.”
“Sorry, Hudson, it just worked out. I had the tiles.” Dave grinned and counted out the points. “What’s the bonus for using all your tiles?”
“You know exactly what the bonus is. I got that bonus two rounds ago.” Kurt was leering at his boyfriend. He was having a difficult time accepting the fact that Dave was beating him at his own game.
Dave leaned into Kurt and pressed their foreheads together. “Are you gonna wanna break up with me if I beat you at scrabble?” Dave smiled wickedly and kissed Kurt’s nose.
“No….maybe…..undecided. Just watch yourself, ok?” Kurt tried to keep a stern face but smiled anyway.
“Ok.”
Kurt’s phone started buzzing in his pocket. Burt rolled his eyes, “Oh, come on, Kurt, no cellphones on Family Night.”
“It’s Mercedes. Let me just tell her I’ll call her back later.” Kurt put the phone to his ear. “Hey, Love, I’m in the middle of….What?” All eyes settled on Kurt’s look of shock. “Oh, no, no….uh huh. I’m sorry….oh dear lord, no…..that’s awful.”
Carole tapped the table to get Kurt’s attention. “Hey, mister….we got a game going here….”
Kurt placed the phone in the palm of his hand and spoke quietly, “I’m sorry guys. Mercedes’ boyfriend just broke up with her. A week before prom. She’s devastated. I need to let her talk. Uh huh, I’m here,” Kurt said into the phone. “You can keep playing, I wasn’t going to win anyway, apparently.” Kurt smiled at Dave and got up from the couch. He continued the conversation with Mercedes in the kitchen.
“So, how’s Mercedes?” Dave and Kurt were alone, finally, in Kurt’s room. They snuggled on the bed in their usual position….with Dave’s hand exploring the babysoft skin of Kurt’s ass.
“She’s pretty tore up. Poor thing. They had actually gone shopping tonight to buy a vest that would match her dress.” Kurt wasn’t enjoying the feel of Dave’s hands on his skin as he usually did. He was preoccupied with concern for his friend. And something else.
“Is she still going to go? To prom, I mean? Without Anthony?” Dave was only mildly interested in the situation. He was more interested in further access to Kurt’s rear end.
“I think so. She’s actually going to call Blaine.”
“Blaine?” Dave looked up puzzled.
“Yeah, they’ve become pretty good friends. I mean, when we do stuff together, I’m always there and we have fun.” Kurt readjusted himself slightly on the bed, putting a stop to Dave’s roaming fingers. “Dalton Academy doesn’t have a prom. Blaine had mentioned a couple weeks ago how much he’d like to go. He was thinking about crashing, actually.”
“So, Mercedes, who was just dumped by her boyfriend, is taking your best friend, Blaine, who is openly gay, to McKinley High School prom….?” Dave processed the information.
“Yes.” Kurt sat up and pulled away from Dave’s reach. “And I am going stag. Life is just full of all sorts of lovely screw ups, isn’t it?”
“Baby. Don’t, I’m sorry.” Dave sat up next to Kurt and wrapped his arm around him. Kurt bristled.
“No, Dave. I’m sorry. I spent over an hour on the phone tonight with my very close friend. Helping her through her breakup with a guy who didn’t appreciate her, didn’t respect her and didn’t take her needs seriously. We talked and we cried and I helped her realize that she deserves better. She deserves to be happy and she’s the only one in control of that. Now she has a backup plan for prom. And all the while I’m here, with nothing. No date, and no plan.” Kurt could feel the hot tears burning his face as they fell. “I can’t be your plaything tonight. I can’t pretend that this isn’t killing me.”
“Sweetness, I’m sorry. Please. Look at me.” Kurt’s eyes were shut and his face was turned away. Dave wiped the tears gently from his cheeks. He held Kurt’s hand in his and softly kissed the back of it. “I love you. I respect you. I am taking your needs seriously. I’m almost there. Baby, I’m sorry.”
“I want to be alone. Let me have my weekend, please, alone.” Kurt stood and walked towards the stairs. Dave followed.
Kurt allowed Dave to kiss the back of his hand once more as they stood on the front porch. “Goodnight.” Kurt said quietly.
“Goodnight, Darling. I’ll see you Monday.” And with that Dave walked towards his car.
Kurt walked straight to Finns’ room and knocked lightly.
Once inside and seated uneasily on Finn’s bed, Kurt sighed deeply and asked, “What happened that I need to know about?”
Finn told Kurt about the exchange in the locker room. But he also told Kurt about the discussion at lunch that one day last week. They talked. Finn tried to explain to Kurt what it would mean to a jock, to an athlete, to a ‘regular’ guy to come out. Being feminine and having the whole school assume you’re gay is all Kurt remembers. Finn was a jock. Finn could explain the locker room banter and the lunch room table talk.
“He is trying. I can tell. It might not be your picture perfect prom. But Dave is in love with you.” Finn gave his brother a half smile and shrugged his shoulders. “You can dance with him here. You can go out on the town in another town. You can share boyfriend things with him. Just not at prom.”
Kurt wiped the tears from his cheeks and sighed deeply. “I just really thought it was gonna happen. You know?”
“I know. And I’m sorry it didn’t.” The boys stood and Finn held out his arms in invitation for a hug.
“Thanks, I think you’re finally getting the hang of this brotherly stuff, you know.” Kurt chuckled and sniffled and left Finn’s room.
The weekend blew past in a rush. It was Tuesday already and Kurt and Dave hadn’t really spoken. Dave had sent a few text messages and Kurt replied. Kurt was on edge. Dave was terrified.
loving you, still
i know, ily 2. need time 2 thnk
i’m trying
i know. me 2
That Tuesday when he got home from school Dave made a decision. Today would be the day. He was ready to tell his parents.