Have you ever heard a death rattle before?

[hamaguri]

I've been thinking about the "Big Sleep" a lot lately. You know, "the Dirt Nap" "Pushing Up Daisies" and all that. And how much i can't wait to get there. I think i just need a vacation big time. Not a huge one, just a few days of no work or school so i can clear my head and de-stress. I also think that at the end of the summer i'm going to take a break from smoking and drinking. I don't know now how i'll feel about this proposal then, but at the moment i feel like proving to myself (and maybe to some others) that i still can have a good time and manage my life without mind altering substances. I can't say how long it will last, a few weeks, a few months? I won't know until i get there, really.

Until then i'm going to carry on suffocating my sorrows in a cloud of smoke every week.

PS: I miss you guys, a lot. Maybe i haven't seen you for a few months, maybe i just saw you last night. But it doesn't matter, i still miss you when we're apart. You're my family, even if we aren't related. You're my lifeline, what keeps me going day in and day out. You're what reminds me what's so good about living in this world. You make me smile when i'm feeling down. loved when i feel unwanted, and allow me to share even a little piece of your own lifelong drama. There will always be a part of me that loves you, and cries when we drift apart.

Um...emo-ed.